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Old 09-22-2004, 08:00 PM   #46
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Originally posted by nbcrusader


Excellent points, but the question remains: is pornography good or bad?

Or are the problems of pornography marginalized because there are problems with other forms of entertainment?
First part: For the individual, or society? Can any one individual really know what is best or bad for another couple? Can society, especially as we far from live in a one size fits all society?


Part 2: The problems of porn are what exactly? I am not referring to abusive porn where there is violence or sexual assault as as far as I am concerned it isn't pornography but a crime. Different thing and absolutely not defendable. As for healthy safe clean consenting porn, what problems are you thinking of?

I am asking sincerely. Thanks nbc.
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Old 09-22-2004, 08:29 PM   #47
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Is alcohol good or bad?
I'm goin with good.
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Old 09-22-2004, 08:38 PM   #48
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porn makes my skin crawl. and, no, it has nothing to do with being a prude or uptight about sex. i don't get why so many people (the vast majority being men) are hung up on porn, and i really cannot imagine how the people in the industry do what they do. it's not just exploitation of women, it's exploitation of humanity. porn is rarely reflective of reality, and i do believe that prolonged exposure to porn warps people's sense of sexuality.

i have a very strong opinion on this because i spent two years of my life in a relationship with someone who was addicted to porn--he was addicted to the point that he had little to no interest in sexual contact with me. of course, he blamed it all on me--i was a prude, i was the abnormal one... i don't have words to describe the damage that i let myself endure in that relationship. overall, his addiction to porn was part of an all-encompassing self-destructiveness. i know there are many more like him out there.
Wow, this is EXACTLY how I feel. One of my best friends (she's very conservative) is in a serious relationship with a guy who's got a SERIOUS porn problem. He got in trouble and had this problem before they started going out (I know b/c my bf has lived with him for years). He never told her and she's too conservative and naive to even think it's a possibility. I know for a fact that a lot of nights, he holes up in his room with his door locked wacking off to cheap porn flicks. He tells his gf he's "busy" and she assumes he's working on a school project. Now some of the other guys he and my bf live with are also into porn, but they at least admit it and joke about it whereas this guy refuses to admit it, even to his guy friends, but they know b/c the one in charge of their network can check the logs of where he visits (they even played this trick where they found all the porn sites he went to that they thought sucked and put up something that shows a blown up image of his gf's school picture instead!).

I also know for a fact my dad and little brother have been into porn (not sure if they still are since I haven't lived at home in years). I know it's not my business to judge, but as a young adult woman I REALLY didn't appreciate sitting down at the computer to do homework only to find things like "teen amateur slut squirting orgasm" and such in shared folders.

And my last experience with porn...I go to a private college where porn is obviously a big no-no. I'm a computer tech so I help Profs, students, etc w/ computer problems. One time I had to help this history Prof w/ something in Internet Explorer. I wasn't even snooping, he was standing behind me and asked me to show him how to change the homepage. So I open IE and he has his Favorites list open and I'm sorry but you can't help but notive all the "www.XXXTEEENHOTTSEX.com" and such on the list. Call me a goodie goodie but I reported his ass just b/c I don't see how it's fair that I'm doling out $25,000 a year to go to the school and pay for salaries like his when he sits in his office and wacks off to teen hardcore all day.

Anyway, I understand porn is OK to add a little fun and spice into a relationship, etc, but there are OTHER things that can do this as well. I see no purpose for porn. I've never had a positive experience with porn. I've only seen it destroy the lives of friends, family, and people I'm supposed to respect and go to for help. To me, it really doesn't have anything to do with sex and whether or not I think taping sex is OK. To me, it's just like smoking - there's just NO POINT. Sure, SOME people can handle it in moderation, but does it really do them ANY good? Is it honestly something they can't live without or would not be the same/better off if they'd never tried it? Not only does it destroy the lives and relationships of the people addicted, it destroys the lives and relationships of their friends and family as well. And it's mostly the lying that gets me. My dad won't admit he has a problem with smoking even though he wastes thousands of dollars a year on cigarettes and has already had two tumors removed (he's 49) and has subjected me and my sibs to smoke since we were born. My friend's bf won't admit he has had and still has a major issue with porn and I just can't find an easy way to break it to her so eventually she'll find out and be devastated.
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Old 09-22-2004, 11:07 PM   #49
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Originally posted by pub crawler
Porn is an industry built on the degradation of women. Virtually every porn star I've ever heard/read interviewed has said they were abused/molested as a child. That tells you all you need to know about porn.
Quote:
Originally posted by joyfulgirl


This might be true but they have to work through those issues some way. Perhaps porn makes them feel empowered through sex whereas it used to make them feel like victims.
I question the motives and methods of the porn producers more than anyone else in that industry. I don't believe the porn industry gives a damn about the well-being of the women they use in their films. And honestly, these women are getting fucked by a bunch of men they don't know. I have questions about that. On a related note, in recent months it has been reported in mainstream media that even with what is known about the transmission of AIDS there is still a lot of unprotected sex occuring on porn film sets. Bad news.


Quote:
And don't forget about gay porn. I don't know a gay man who doesn't love gay porn in what seems to me to be a healthy way.
That's a separate issue (the watching of porn). Personally, I don't care who watches porn.
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Old 09-23-2004, 07:36 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
First part: For the individual, or society? Can any one individual really know what is best or bad for another couple? Can society, especially as we far from live in a one size fits all society?
I'm not sure why we suddenly try to separate things into the society/individual categories. There are innumerable standards, laws, rules and regulations that apply to society as a whole, even though it may be fine for a few individuals. Conversly, many of the standard set for society were put in place by a small group of legislators. I would suggest that if the question of whether porn is good or bad is based on relavitism, there is no point to responding to the thread.

I reality, society will never be able to ban porn the same way the US could not outlaw alcohol. People prefer to do what is right in their own eyes, turning a blind eye to how it may affect another.

Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
Part 2: The problems of porn are what exactly? I am not referring to abusive porn where there is violence or sexual assault as as far as I am concerned it isn't pornography but a crime. Different thing and absolutely not defendable. As for healthy safe clean consenting porn, what problems are you thinking of?

I am asking sincerely. Thanks nbc.
Porn sets unrealistic expectations for male-female relationships. The problems lie primarily with men. Men are not watching porn to learn about relationships, but they take the mental images with them when they attempt to have relationships. Again, I would point to dandy's post as a clear example. And for every experience like dandy's, there are numerous others that occur to a less perceptable degree. But the emotional damage and hurt is still there.
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Old 09-23-2004, 02:18 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader

Porn sets unrealistic expectations for male-female relationships. The problems lie primarily with men. Men are not watching porn to learn about relationships, but they take the mental images with them when they attempt to have relationships. Again, I would point to dandy's post as a clear example. And for every experience like dandy's, there are numerous others that occur to a less perceptable degree. But the emotional damage and hurt is still there.
Well said, nb. And thanks for understanding. I hesistated to respond to this topic because I feel so strongly, and I know a lot people just don't get where I'm coming from.

Livluv, good luck with your friend. I hope she wakes up and dumps his sorry butt. All you can do is be there for her, and let her know she's not alone.
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Old 09-23-2004, 02:24 PM   #52
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porn setting an unrealistic expectations for relationships??

when you regard porn as a standard for your relationships you have much bigger problems than can be blamed on porn anymore

the same could be said for soap operas

and if you really want to stretch this line of thinking you could think of Sesame Street as leading to unfair expectations for kids regarding humanity
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Old 09-23-2004, 02:42 PM   #53
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Like I've said before, not a standard for relationships, but affecting and influencing (unintentionally) relationships.
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Old 09-23-2004, 02:49 PM   #54
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I'd then like to pronounce all romantic-comedies "bad."
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Old 09-23-2004, 04:00 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


I'm not sure why we suddenly try to separate things into the society/individual categories. There are innumerable standards, laws, rules and regulations that apply to society as a whole, even though it may be fine for a few individuals. Conversly, many of the standard set for society were put in place by a small group of legislators. I would suggest that if the question of whether porn is good or bad is based on relavitism, there is no point to responding to the thread.

I reality, society will never be able to ban porn the same way the US could not outlaw alcohol. People prefer to do what is right in their own eyes, turning a blind eye to how it may affect another.

Why? Try because you like everyone else have no idea where the line will finally be drawn. Lets face it, there are problems with everything in life, porn, alcohol, drugs, prostitution, violence etc etc etc. The list is long and endless. All you are doing is reacting to something which fits into your personal ideal. Drawing the line conveniently at the point where your personal values want it to dictate. Which in itself is not so bad. But not really a good enough reason to apply it to everyone.

On a side note, I was asking that first point for clarification, not to be lectured on how inappropriate my view is.

And as for the point of replying in the way I did, if you insist there is no place for it may I remind you that you hold no truth and what you have is nothing more than an opinion. Hardly grounds to be dictating what is correct and true.
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Old 09-23-2004, 04:11 PM   #56
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At your request, I clarified the basis for my statements. It wasn't meant as a lecture.

I have not suggested that my ways is the only way and I am somewhat surprised by that suggestion.
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Old 09-23-2004, 04:42 PM   #57
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I misunderstood both your replies then - apologies.

I'm still trying to understand your point of view though. When you say it 'affects and influences (unintentionally) relationships.' do you mean as it is the source for some relationship problems, it is better to remove it entirely? From everywhere? Like any problem in a relationship, a good place to start on the problems is to remove the thing which it might stem from, be it alcohol or whatever. But like all things which cause relationship problems, for every one it might affect adversely, there are countless others where it doesn't.
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Old 09-23-2004, 05:01 PM   #58
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I guess my point is that we severely underestimate the negative affect of pornography. There are millions of men in relationships who view pornography without the knowledge or participation of their mate. At the very least, the simple point that they keep it a secret suggests a lack of communication and honesty with their partner.

That being said, will we ever be able to remove it entirely? No. Instead, I would suggest that there should be more talk about the downsides to pornography. Even cigarettes and alcohol have warning labels.
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Old 09-23-2004, 06:23 PM   #59
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
Most ignore the destructive nature of pornography. In many ways, it is worse than addictive drugs. Pornographic images create an impression of relationships that do not translate into reality.
I am with nbcrusader on this one. Porn can be destructive and I basically agree that it does not translate into an ideal vision of relationships reality.

Sadly it does translate very much into realtionships reality if I look at the world and what a fucked place it is. I think porn is a bad thing. On the other hand, if you people knew whatnot and all I have seen in my life,.. well you better dont know - Interference would lose its virginity. Those days, porn just bores me pretty much.

And did I mention that imo making love, in whatever version and with whatever detail, has nothing to do with porn. I think as long as 2 people love each other, they should make their fantasies in bed come true. Thats not porn, its sex (and good one).

nb, the idea of labelling porn videos as dangerous, forbidden, dark things doesnt quite solve the problem. People love porn just for the forbidden fact. Better label it with.. "the government warns you that this video is damn boring and youre a sucker anyway"
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Old 09-23-2004, 06:32 PM   #60
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And my last experience with porn...I go to a private college where porn is obviously a big no-no. I'm a computer tech so I help Profs, students, etc w/ computer problems. One time I had to help this history Prof w/ something in Internet Explorer. I wasn't even snooping, he was standing behind me and asked me to show him how to change the homepage. So I open IE and he has his Favorites list open and I'm sorry but you can't help but notive all the "www.XXXTEEENHOTTSEX.com" and such on the list. Call me a goodie goodie but I reported his ass just b/c I don't see how it's fair that I'm doling out $25,000 a year to go to the school and pay for salaries like his when he sits in his office and wacks off to teen hardcore all day.

I hope that made you feel very well, probably then it was worth it. It seems you have never heard of spyware and adware. I would be more suspicious of a computer that DOESNT have any porn on it those days than of a computer that does, and not being hidden somewhere. Maybe your prof wasnt exactly what youd call a computer savvy.

Reporting people who have XXteensex shit on their favourites list is about as naive as assuming that liberals are terrorists. Thanks and goodnight.
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