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Old 02-06-2004, 01:13 PM   #16
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I think it should be left to the individual. Some group marriages can be consensual, so it wouldn't be wrong in that case. It probably wouldn't be a good idea, with all the tension around. But polygamy would be wrong if it gets abusive.

I guess you can't say polygamy is absolutely wrong, it does depend on the individual, and what sort of society he or she comes from, and what they are looking for in a
relationship(s).
From a Western point of view, it would be seen as wrong because its not necessary (economically and status-wise), women have more to say here, and so forth.
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Old 02-06-2004, 01:22 PM   #17
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I agree with beli completely.

In theory I think it should be a personal decisionóthatís the ďlive and let liveĒ part of me talking. But in practice, Iím not so sure it works here in the West. The Westerners who engage in polygamy are usually kind of messed up in one way or another (although even that is no one elseís business unless it is putting someone elseís life in danger). When people from other cultures where polygamy is practiced try to integrate into Western society while living according to the norms of their native country, other social problems emerge, such as in France where this has been a growing concern and the government has had to intervene and force separations, leaving the abandoned wives on their own and unable to make a living and integrate into society successfully. So while Iíd like to take a live and let live attitude, I think itís probably a complicated issue that has a lot of elements about which Iím uninformed.


sula!!
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Old 02-06-2004, 01:27 PM   #18
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how can some of the same people who support gay marriage in turn put down polygamy? it's an alternative lifestyle, supported in some cases by one's own religious beliefs. so if you support opening up marriage to one "alternative" lifestyle, why in turn would you put down another? just because you don't believe in it? well you slam the people who don't believe in gay marriage, isn't it a bit hypocritical to then slam those who believe in polygamy?


just a sidebar... i believe that homosexuals should be allowed some sort of civil union, and that polygamy is wrong. but i can deffinetly see the argument of those who state that opening up marriage to anyone other than 1 man and 1 woman could cause all the "alternative" lifestyles to come a runnin'.

a cult is just a cult until it has enough members to make a dent in an election... then it becomes a religion...
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Old 02-06-2004, 01:36 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Headache in a Suitcase
how can some of the same people who support gay marriage in turn put down polygamy? it's an alternative lifestyle,
Polygamy is an action some people engage in--there is a choice involved. Being gay or straight are states of being. You have no choice in the matter and therefore the civil rights for gays and straights should be completely equal. I know that 'alternative lifestyle' has been a popular term for gay relationships but I feel it is one that will disappear in time as people come to accept that it isn't a lifestyle one actually chooses.
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Old 02-06-2004, 01:50 PM   #20
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I think many people living in countries where polygamy is not practised can be quick to condemn it as absolutely wrong, not because they believe it to be detrimental to the individuals involved, but because their own cultural experiences lead them to reject a definition of marriage which differs greatly from the accepted definition within their culture. I would assume most of the people who post here are used to marriage being an exclusive, monogamous relationship involving two people and so tend to reject a definition of marriage which differs from that.

However, people in many cultures would be shocked to see the lack of responsibility some people in the West seem to feel towards their parents, because in their culture taking care of your parents as they get older is considered a vital part of life. That's just one example, other people have already posted other ones in this thread.

So I think the question is really "to what extent do we have the right to define something as 'wrong' because it differs from our own cultural experiences?"
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Old 02-06-2004, 02:14 PM   #21
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It's a choice. I don't think that polygamy is inherently wrong, although it's not consistent with my own value system. Others have different values.
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Old 02-06-2004, 02:16 PM   #22
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You're on a roll today Headache
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Old 02-06-2004, 02:48 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Headache in a Suitcase
while there are many scientific studies that support your theory that one is born gay, there are many that say just the opposite... that it is indeed a life choice... nurture as opposed to nature.
I don't think I've ever seen a study 'proving' that homosexuality is caused by nurture which didn't involve some kind of logical error or statistical tricks. This doesn't mean there aren't any but for now, I go with the nature theory. And even if it was nurtured, who cares right?

For the polygamy part, I agree with Fizzing and Verte.
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Old 02-06-2004, 05:30 PM   #24
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Originally posted by melon
Because it isn't the same thing. Polygamy is banned equally amongst people, regardless of their sexuality. The ban on gay marriage would only be acceptable if there was also a ban on straight marriage. As it stands, that is clearly not the case.

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Is the guiding principle: we can ban things as long as we treat those who are gay and straight equally?
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Old 02-06-2004, 05:52 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


Is the guiding principle: we can ban things as long as we treat those who are gay and straight equally?
The guiding principle is that gay people and straight people should be treated equally.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:09 PM   #26
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You're sidestepping the issue of banning of polygamy....
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:11 PM   #27
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There are no absolutes..........

Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


Is the guiding principle: we can ban things as long as we treat those who are gay and straight equally?
Nup. Im personally not into banning things unless people are getting hurt without their consent.

I personally believe people should be able to marry whomever they so choose, with consent, - gay, straight, multipartenered, or no one at all. Whatever makes them happy and at peace with themselves.

Love is not the problem, hate is.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:14 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by beli
There are no absolutes..........

You realize that you just made an absolute statement here......

The illusion of relativism is a subject for a different thread
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:21 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader

You realize that you just made an absolute statement here......

The illusion of relativism is a subject for a different thread
I did actually. Just stirring (with that statement, not any of the others I made).

I will go read the dead thread. Sounds interesting.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:21 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
You're sidestepping the issue of banning of polygamy....
I already gave my opinion on polygamy, it's about ten posts back if you actually want to read it.

Personally I agree with beli - in general I don't agree with banning things, with the exception of cases in which it is the only way to prevent harm to people.

The only issue I was addressing in the post you replied to is that I think a guiding principle in discussions like this should be that a person should not be discriminated against on the basis of their sexuality.
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