Angela Harlem said:
It was me who originally mentioned guilt. So please direct it to me if you disagree. I will however stand by that. You dont really need to look very far to see those who are worse off. We're all worse off than another in some way. Focusing on it isn't going to change much, but it also wont get rid of my shame at times because I could afford to get myself into whatever problems I might have now. I have bills coming out of my arse, but it was because I am privileged that this happened. It's all luck on whether we're born with a silver spoon in our mouths, I dont think anyone chooses poverty or hardship, so I do wonder why I got a relatively good deal and others didn't.
You may have mentioned guilt first, but you didn't whine about it -- the whining is what people were reacting to with some of the the posts.
I could do without most things I buy. I could do without the things I listed in the "For the price of three movie tickets thread." I just ordered two copies of a CD tonight (one to keep, one to give away), but I didn't have to buy either. I just bought five original paintings and commissioned another one. Didn't need to have those (or the many others I have also purchased over the last year or so). I didn't need the blown glass items I bought, or the 15 different type of treats I buy for my dog Zeke. There are often things in my grocery cart I don't really need (do I really have to have imported Gouda?). I didn't need to buy the riding lawn mower I just got (even though it makes a huge difference in the time I spend on the lawn and only cost $300 - new!). I could have continued to use only the push mower. I don't really need this PC (or the printer/copier/scanner either), or the desk it's on. I don't really need the microwave, or the toaster oven (hell, I have a toaster and an oven, why do I really need a toaster oven?). Of course, I could come up with more.
Now even though I don't need the above things I really don't feel guilty buying them. By buying the artwork (both the paintings and the glass) for example, I am helping the artists to support themselves and their families. Same deal with the CD I ordered (newsflash to BP -- not every musician is wealthy. Most are just trying to make a living, just like everyone else).
I do realize, however, just how lucky I am to be able to buy not only things I need, but also things I want. And I do think it's an important lesson for every one of us lucky ones, even (perhaps especially) children. It's great to have stuff, but you don't need so much of it to be happy. I'm really grateful to my parents for NOT getting me everything I wanted, not even when I was little -- even if I did scream and cry and generally make their lives miserable when I wanted stuff. I was never deprived, but I certainly didn't have everything all the other kids had. I didn't have huge stacks of toys...if I wanted to play I made up games or read a book. And you know, unlike so many of those kids whos parents bought them every popular toy on the market, I was never bored, because my folks encouraged me to use my imagination.
I think by understanding that we don't "need" so much of the things we have, we are more apt to be gererous when we are able to give to others. And our giving doesn't just have to be monetary, time (as was mentioned earlier) is also so important.
sometimes it takes a little more than just 'need' to keep your life worth living day to day.
