Please critique my work and spare not my feelings

[diamond]

It can be argued the most brilliant minds reside in FYM.
I respect all opinons here from the meat eaters to the tree huggers, ergo I beseech you to grade my work on a scale of 1-10.

Please go here, spare not my feelings and grade my work.
Tell me if my work is deadsexy or D.O.A.
I can take it.

http://forum.interference.com/t99285.html
thank u
db9

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

10+

 

[diamond]

10+

partisan

 

[hiphop]

It´s very good. Keep writing!

9

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

partisan

 

[Dreadsox]

Its DREADSEXY

 

[speedracer]

3 + 2i.

 

[Klaus]

I like it 8

 

[diamond]

I like it 8

i can almost kiss u mr klaus
almost only brother

 

[MissMoo]

I think it's a good start, but I would continue to rewrite it and get rid of some of the cliched parts. Sorry! I know that's harsh! It's a result of having my father critique my work and telling me to get rid of my purple prose! Hard to take but later you look back and are glad the person said it. I'd give it a 7 And I am this harsh on myself too!

 

[hiphop]

Isn´t life often a cliché? Just meant as a side question.

No really, I think if you write something and it comes from your heart, it can´t be a cliché. You can´t really define a cliché. Let people critisize you, it might change your view, might even inspire you. But if you want to be a good writer, never change something for the sake of critics.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the living truth for all real artists - even for composers.

 

[Klaus]

i can almost kiss u mr klaus
almost only brother

Almost is ok because i prefer to be kissed by cute girls

 

[diamond]

I think it's a good start, but I would continue to rewrite it and get rid of some of the cliched parts. Sorry! I know that's harsh! It's a result of having my father critique my work and telling me to get rid of my purple prose! Hard to take but later you look back and are glad the person said it. I'd give it a 7 And I am this harsh on myself too!

i thank u miss moo for your candid and frankassesment.

i see my work has had at least 55 views and hardly any comments in proportion to the views.

why are some afraid to come forward?
why, i know not.

thank u dread u animal.

db9

 

[WinnieThePoo]

i'd like to put some music on that , Mr Diamond

 

[A_Wanderer]

Bastard, that is a slap in the face, the worst example ever of bad poetry, your bad poetry is so damn awful at being bad poetry that is good poetry.

On my bad poetry meter where 10 is the worst poetry and 1 is the best I shall give you 1^-5. Thank you so much for this bad bad poetry.

/This confusing post is actually a compliment.

 

[starsgoblue]

I wish more people went and checked out stuff in DOL....I've put stuff up there and stopped because the small amount of traffic in there.

 

[diamond]

Bastard, that is a slap in the face, the worst example ever of bad poetry, your bad poetry is so damn awful at being bad poetry that is good poetry.

On my bad poetry meter where 10 is the worst poetry and 1 is the best I shall give you 1^-5. Thank you so much for this bad bad poetry.

/This confusing post is actually a compliment.

perfecto

 

[deep]

after reviewing

I know why that forum is not called

Read Out Loud.

 

[foray]

you misspelled daffodil. that's all

foray

 

[diamond]

 

[Inner El Guapo]

I like it, a bit cliche, but I give it a 7.5.
And I subtract 2 for blatant self promotion on this forum.
5.5

 

[diamond]

kick me harder el guapo::

 

[Inner El Guapo]

I jest, Diamond. I did like it! You got penalized for being shamless.

I'll add one point for having the balls to post it in public for mass critique and one point for using creative artistry. I appreciate it as someone who writes songs/lyrics constantly.

So you are refunded by your own Inner El Guapo.
Everyone has their own El Guapo to fight.

 

[diamond]

el guapo,
thx makes perfect sense.

deep -
ms spellcheck
mr racer
starsgoblue, love your handle but we're stll looking for a numerical score here.

hiphop thx ol boy
winnie the deep, thx

and the rest of u who read it and forgot to post number grades
this is your loss.
your loss to participate
your loss to critique
your loss to come to the table and offer your very tiny morsels.


thank u,

db9

 

[diamond]

we're now up to 78 views.
im getting agitated by the amount of peepers here that refuse to grade my stellar work.

thank u for all the brave souls that posted their invaild veiws and assesments.
to the peepers i call u out and ask u to post damn it post i say

thank u
db9

 

[Souly]

It's very good.

 

[diamond]

It's very good.

thank u souly.
thank u for coming out instead of lurking like a peeper.

db9

 

[Danospano]

You and Bono should colaborate on their next album. Wait, he's too afraid your genius will overshadow his . Very good poem...honestly.

 

[iacrobat]

Argh, sorry Diamond, it doesn't really do it for me.

Although I probably couldn't write something half as good myself.

I give it a 6, + 1 for having the cojones to post it for critique, fair play.

7 overall then.

 

[diamond]

cool man.

thanks fellas
iacobat and dannyspanomoore