Please Bathe Yourself in My Douche-Tastic Poetry

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Here's an Early Cut Review of Star Wars Episode 2 from 'aintitcoolnews.com', I have not read it, cuz I like to keep all that stuff secret from me until I see it.. But Maybe some of ya'll would be interested.

L.Unplugged

STAR WARS EPISODE TWO: ATTACK OF THE CLONES early cut review
I saw Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones hours ago. The ?how? of that will be a thing of mystery buried in a passed piece of paper from my book signing with a hotel, a room number and a time listed upon it. You don?t want to know about that room or the person(s) in that room, you want to know about Episode Two.
Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar has a 15 second StepInFetchIt shuffle speak routine he does as he goes to first let Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker into the Amidala?s quarters that is so offensively awful, that it will not only make you recoil in horror, but it will remind you of all of the worst aspects of his character from THE PHANTOM MENACE. I wanted to burn the film, destroy, maim and murder it at this stage. I was steeling myself from the impending incompetence, the horror of my childhood being molested. I was prepared to have a very bad time.
I found myself not liking Anakin Skywalker at all, he?s a punk spoiled brat? A snotty nosed ego trip, that angry evil high school football quarterback that wants the head cheerleader. He whines like a Mark Hamill squealing about going to Toshi Station to get some power converters. There is much anger in him. He?s impulsive, conflicted, out of control and a mass murderer. Everytime I saw him and Natalie Portman together, I wanted to tell her to run, fly you fool. But am I not supposed to feel that way?
So did George Lucas drop the ball? Did he rape our childhood? Has he turned into nothing more than flannel wearing toy salesman without a soul or an eye for storytelling anymore? Was I disappointed to such a state that I wanted to yell and scream and break my original 12 inch Boba Fett and defecate upon it in a ritualistic purging of all that was once sacred to my childhood?
To answer all of those questions?. THANK GOD NO!!! Lucas succeeds with the film beyond my wildest dreams.
I was scared and thrilled to be watching Episode 2. The entire time I was in that hotel room, I was convinced that agents of Lucasfilm were going to knock down the doors and I knew I was being set up for a fall. I mean, it isn?t possible to see STAR WARS early. I know that, but there I was watching it. Listening to the sounds of drunk SXSW revelers falling into the door outside.
After about 20 minutes of that awareness everything but the film ceased to exist. The lights in the room dimmed in my mind. The person(s) in the room shrank like Scott Carey into the microverse. Everything about me was concentrating upon the film. The movie was not complete. There were moments where the effects were quite rough, but the work that was finished, was beyond reproach.
How do I explain the success of ATTACK OF THE CLONES? First, I must say that this film makes THE PHANTOM MENACE a better film. In fact, I would have to say that not only does it do that, but suddenly you will realize with horror, exactly why Jar Jar Binks is in the series at all. Upon first viewing, in less than ideal circumstances, I must say that I feel that this is by far the most entertaining Star Wars film to date. It may not have that innocent sense of wonder for the first film. It doesn?t have that sense of intimacy that EMPIRE STRIKES BACK had, or that film?s desperation. However, it also doesn?t have the trivial frivolity of JEDI or MENACE. ATTACK OF THE CLONES is a turning point in the saga. The point of no return.
I love this film desperately. I want to continually watch it for about a week with my best friends. I want to see it digitally projected with sternum shaking sound. I want to watch as friends discover the twists that Palpatine/Sidious/Dooku have in store for us. I want to have the conversations about what this all means, the speculative conversations about how these elements will play out in the final chapter of the prequels.
What is great about the film?
Obi Wan Kenobi / Ewan McGregor. He just owns the role now. There is a moment in the Cantina/Sports Bar on the surface level of Coruscant, where he and Anakin have chased an assassin. As they enter this packed sci-yuppie-scum club, they realize they can?t seem to be able to see ?the assassin? anymore. Anakin wants to rush in, tear the place apart looking for the suspect. Obi Wan tells him to slow down or something then turns to head in a different direction, Anakin asks him, "Where you going?" to which Kenobi dryly responds, "To get something to drink." Kenobi is just that calm about things. He is the king of cool. He?ll get his suspect, but he?s going to get a drink first. Priorities. I was reminded of him telling Luke to let go and to trust his feelings. He doesn?t repeat that here, he simply lets go and trusts his feelings. We see it as an action, a path he chose. Then when he gets to that bar, leaning on it, sipping that odd drink, a drug dealer comes up to him and asks, "Wanna buy some deathsticks?" Obi Wan responds, "You don?t want to sell me death sticks." Drug dealer says, "I don?t want to sell you death sticks." "You want to go home and rethink your direction in life," Kenobi continues. "I want to go home and rethink my direction in life," the dealer says as he blankly turns and walks out of the club. Before he can get too smug about his little trick he senses the assassin behind him and he pulls the patented Obi Wan pivoting light saber at a bar strike that you?ve seen in the trailer. He gets his suspect and he?s never broke a sweat. He is the master. Kenobi is just plainly cool in the film. Watch how he handles things on Camino or the way he doesn?t betray a single thought in his conversation with Jango Fett there. He knows his game, his methods and his ways. He is confident and completely on the clock. Ewan is relaxed in the role, clearly having fun and is very very very good in the film. Contrary to Moriarty?s assertion that he would be more ?Han Solo? he is in fact much more Master Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat from CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON) but without the romance.
Jango Fett ? Boba Fett / Temuera Morrison ? Daniel Logan -- I love this pair. I love them because they are the renegade Father and Son. They have their own set of rules, they are a self contained functioning unit. Jango wanted a son to raise his own way, that doesn?t mean he beats him and does evil things. He loves his kid. He?s training him to be a good Bounty Hunter like he is. There is very much a father/son ? Master/Apprentice style thing going on here. And they have my favorite moment of the entire film, which is a tiny little moment between these two. Jango and Boba are headed to Genosia when they pick up that Kenobi is tailing them. They dive into the asteroid belt surrounding Genosia, Obi Wan trails behind them, not being lost. Jango tells Boba something like, "Prepare the sonic mines, we?ll give him?" something, I couldn?t make out? but Boba presses some buttons while doing what I can only describe as an evil giggle? a delighted giggle. Jango looks at him smiling, as if to say? "That?s my boy!" The moment is so honest and real. I?ve never seen a father ? son moment like this in science fiction. Completely classic.
Anakin Skywalker - Padme Amidala / Hayden Christensen ? Natalie Portman -- First Anakin is just an ass in this film. Like I said earlier, I can?t stand him. He?s like that boy in the TWILIGHT ZONE movie that has too much power and thinks about using it too much, but sometimes it goes terribly astray. Portman?s Padme in this film has mostly dropped the ?high speak? that she had from the first film?. Injecting into her character far more vocal variety than the droll monotone of the first film that killed the performance. Here she infuses the character with more of herself, which is a very good thing. I like that she doesn?t want to have anything to do with Anakin. That she constantly is aware of all the reasons they shouldn?t be together. Of the scandal. Of their careers. Anakin hates being told no. She can see all the reasons, but when they go through what they go through? When the emotional binding takes place between these characters through a brief adventure, a loss of a loved one, a decent into hell? When faced with certain doom, they realize that life is too short to worry about the ifs and buts? And when it happens? John Williams? love theme kicks in. This really kicks in just as Anakin and Padme kiss before being taken out and strung up in the arena (you know the sequence when they are chained against the pillars.) It actually starts from the shot (which we see in the trailer - of the arena with all the Geonosis creatures seated and cheering - the long shot looking from high to low). It consists of maybe three instruments playing at first, classic violin, very sorrowful and warm. It almost sounds a little bit like the theme for the Incredible Hulk TV series with Lou Ferrigno. The intros are similar before other instruments join in. It also reminded me of Francis Lai?s theme from Arthur Hiller?s LOVE STORY. Although it is strikingly different from other parts in the film, IT FITS IN BEAUTIFULLY. Elegant but not soppy. Gentle but not melodramatic. Williams thinking differently (after all, a very different relationship from Han and Leia!) and succeeding. It starts to crescendo as the lovers are wheeled out into the arena (reminded me of the shot of Luke with the twin suns) - same type of crescendo. It continues through the cuts between Obi-Wan chained and them being taken over to the same place but changes into a military drum style (you know, the thumping dictatorship heavy beat - almost like the 'sacrifice has arrived'). This changes the whole tone as we realize their 'moment' has been intruded and they are in serious poodoo. The romance is handled in terms of familiarity and proximity. This is that sort of romance where one loves the other, but only at the point of an emotional precipice where the other could see that they shared that feeling and embrace it. I liked this.
Palpatine-Sidious ? Count Dooku-Darth Tyrannus / Ian McDiarmid ? Christopher Lee -- Wow. Ok, read no spoilers about all of this. I remember thinking that Lucas could be soft in the head for trying to fool the audience into thinking Palpatine isn?t Sidious. I mean we can see that in the credits. What the hell? Right? See that is so like a self-centered audience. To sit there and think they are the center of the universe. The Palpatine-Sidious thing from the first film? The trade dispute? All of it not only makes sense with this film, but the way it unfolds. As you see the point of the various guises and names? How Yoda and Windu sense no ?disturbance? around Palpatine? There are reasons for these things? Just because you don?t know them yet, doesn?t mean Lucas doesn?t know what he?s doing? Upon seeing this film, seeing how he handles these two characters being 4 characters? It is genius. Compelling Machiavellian positioning and deception. There are points in this film where I wanted to scream at the screen and say, "Palpatine is an evil Sith Lord! They?re conspiring to destroy the Republic from within!" That?s when Christopher Lee essentially tells Obi Wan the same thing? My god. The evil. The evil of using the truth, knowing it could only be interpreted as being a deception and a lie. The Devil uses truth to betray mankind, because he is expected to lie? and the truth sounds better, but will never be believed. Just wait till you see how the Death Star plays into this? You?ll friggin die! FANTASTIC.
Yoda-Dooku fight? HOLY GOD! Right now there is a lot of speculation about Yoda with lightning. It is on one of the soundtrack covers. When you look at that. When people described the ball of lightning in Yoda?s hands from ShoWest, I thought they were insane. I thought only the bad guys did that. When I saw the film, well? I can tell you exactly how that moment plays out. So far as I have seen that hasn?t leaked and it isn?t a huge spoiler. When Yoda and Dooku first set up to go at it, Dooku hurls lightning at Yoda? Yes, Chris Lee?s character is that strong. Perhaps the strongest character with the force I have ever seen in Star Wars history. He attacks Yoda with lightning, Yoda captures it, twirls it around, balls it up and redirects it back at Lee. When I saw this, I screamed like a little girl. I mean it was like Uncle Tony grabbed my pantied ass. I jumped about 12 feet up in the air and squealed. WHAT A THRILL! The Yoda ? Dooku fight is astonishing. I can not emphasize that enough. I have been thinking for quite some time that there was no way on earth that Yoda with a light saber could look cool. Folks, not only does it look cool, but there will be a collective scream of HOLY SHIT when what happens happens. Yoda?s fighting style is? well let?s just say he could kick all your asses. Oh and by the way, Williams? DUEL OF THE FATES was nothing in comparison to this. Remember Vader vs Luke in EMPIRE? How overwhelmingly powerful Vader felt in comparison to Luke. Remember how weak Vader felt in comparison to the Emperor? Now imagine someone with The emperor?s powers in a full on battle with a master. Here towers of metal are torn asunder with the power of the force. The ceiling ripped apart. Seemingly unlimited strength with the force. You will quiver, shake and scream. You are warned.
You have to understand something in going into this film. What you have seen in Star Wars movies before were skirmishes? incidents? Remember, The Battle of Hoth was small, a minor hiccup. In ATTACK OF THE CLONES, you have the first REAL Star War. It isn?t a space battle, but you understand the scale of things. The size and scope of a MAJOR OFFENSIVE. And unlike in PHANTOM MENACE, where Lucas decided to cut up the action by trying to intercut three consecutive arenas of battle, here he portrays the action linearly? basically following Obi Wan and Anakin and Padme? who all basically stick together, with Padme taking a roll in some sand to miss out on the Dooku battle.
After the film was finished playing I was just beside myself with glee.
Right now it is a very interesting time for Star Wars fandom. PHANTOM MENACE polarized the audience into the faithful and those that felt it had all gone wrong. That everything was doomed. With the introduction of MATRIX and LORD OF THE RINGS into fan circles, there began to be a real angry mix. Fights, screamings and hurling of ?love it or leave it? style rhetoric.
Watching the trailers for STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES in theaters, the audiences seemed muted in comparison to the delightful screams of approval from the SPIDER-MAN trailers.
You know those guys that have been camping up in Seattle? The experience they are going to have in the theater upon that first showing? They will be so completely happy.
Now the cut I saw was still a bit rough around the edges, but folks? I can?t wait to see this on the big screen complete. To see what gets cut, what gets changed, what I notice when watching this movie the way Lucas meant for people to see it.
The source(s) that showed it to me were tired of all my LORD OF THE RINGS stuff. They were tired of all the rhetoric about Tolkien, all the focus I had on LORD OF THE RINGS. They wanted someone outside of the ranch, outside of the ?circle?, someone that seemed to be straying from the fold to see what it was that Lucas had done. What Lucas has done, is to make a film that is so relentlessly entertaining and thrilling, that there will be no movie this summer that can stand against it. This is it.
This movie is the real deal. It is smart, beautiful (god digital photography is the glory and the future of the world of film, the palette is strikingly dramatically colorful), thrilling and electrical. Essentially it is a pure action adventure science fiction fantasy with a touch of romance. Line up now. This Star Wars is for real.
P.s. To the talkbacker concerned about Jimmy Smits... He doesn't really do anything major in this film. He is next to Palpatine though right before that amazing shot of all the Clone Troopers and those Star Destroyer things... So he's close to Palpatine, but I bet he betrays Palp in the next one (speculation) Oh, I'm off to Los Angeles, so I won't be doing talk back looking on this to answer questions, but if you come to the book signing at BOOK SOUP Tuesday at 7pm, I'll answer all NON-SPOILER QUESTIONS about Episode 2. In fact, I'll even do imitations of scenes and looks on faces. I'm so jazzed about this movie now! Can't wait to share, but not spoil!!! The gods of spies have looked out for me on this one.... That sacrificial Power Puff doll was worth it!
 
Hahaha.. From NDTODAY.C O M a nice little post on the webboard about the upcoming season here at ND.. with teh Blue/Gold Game yesterday, and six inches of rain, in my twenty minutes there, I really can't report anything notable. However, Enjoy.. I think you'll especially like the part about academia Liberals.

By: MonkMalloySucks

Man, the national recruiting mags sure do love to inflate our annual rankings to manipulate our enormous fanbase -- you are kidding yourself if you don't realize our current roster is riddled with a bunch of extremely average athletes.

Thank God we hired a guy who will actually be able to recruit REAL talent. Willingham is an organized, intelligent tactician who will finally restore some credibility and respect back into our program, something we were gravely lacking during the Davie disaster. Man, I FUCKING HATE THAT DOUCHE BAG.

Anyway, here is a really brief overview of the roster:

Quarterback: Holiday is the only returning playmaker in our offense. He is the most exciting quarterback I've seen don the Blue and Gold since Tony Rice, and if developed properly, could be a star. Accuracy and decision-making cababilities are definite question-marks, but the potential is too great to give up on him just yet.

Tailback: Julius Jones. I gave up on him. Hopefully the coaches do too, because Ryan Grant looked good in limited play last year and could turn out to be a pretty productive power back.

Fullback: Mike McNair might finally earn the starting job if he can learn how to block -- he better, because the remaining options are terrible.

Wide receiver: MAURICE STOVALL AND RHEMA MCKNIGHT. These are the two signees who could turn the program around. Both of them should be instant starters from Day 1 (seeing that the rest of our receivers are pathetic, with the exception of maybe Omar Jenkins, but then again who judges a receiver's ability based on one single play they make against a horrible Stanford defense??), giving Holiday some dangerous targets in the passing game.

TE: Billy Palmer and Gary Godsey? God help us...

Offensive line: With the exception of Faine, this is a huge question mark. Will LeVoir realize his potential and get the nod at LT? Who's going to fill out the rest of the line? We will know a lot more about the condition of the O-line after spring and summer drills. Right now, I'm guessing this is going to be our 2nd weakest unit to none other than our perennially pathetic secondary.

Defensive line: Huge loss in Weaver, but we get a healthy Ryan Roberts back, who will provide us with a solid option at LE. Kyle Bud, while slow and undersized, has a huge motor and should turn out to be a serviceable RE. Veteran DTs Campbell and Big Ced, if they continue to progress, could provide us with a solid duo in the interior. Wild cards are Jason Sapp, Pauly, and true freshman stud Derek Landri (can anyone confirm or deny this BMX biking accident rumor???).

Linebackers: Could turn out to be a team strength. There is a considerable amount of depth here. Courtney Watson is the team leader and plays every down like it's his last. We need him to instill that winning attitude into the rest of the players. Brandon Hoyte is a stud and should develop into a playmaker when he earns a starting role this spring. CPA, Curry, Mayes and Goolsby are guys who could also bolster this unit. As for who is starting where, your guess is as good as mine.

Secondary: Disasterous. Painful. Pitiful. Hopeless. Embarassing. A lost cause. There aren't enough negative adjectives to describe our secondaries during the Davie era. Clifford Jefferson and Gerome Sapp -- the two most overrated prep players in the history of organized football. Our secondary was so bad last year that we had to turn one of the best tailback prospects in the country into a corner just to fill a glaring team need. That really pisses me off. At least Duff might actually turn out to be a shutdown corner before his collegiate career is over.

Shane Walton and Vontez Duff should be solid, but after that there is no depth. Beckstrom sucks. Bolen and Ellick are raw and apparently not close to being ready for a starting role. As for the safeties, Glenn Earl is a stud, but injury prone, and Gerome Sapp is nothing.

Ty Willie really needs to address this unit in the imminent recruiting campaigns, because we are hurting badly here.


-------------------------------------

The bottom line: will ND win 10 games next year? Possibly, but I'm not counting on it -- not with our current roster. Will we be a powerhouse again in 4 years? We are certainly capable of that if the right adjustments are made.

But the final decision lies in the clutches of Monk "The Hypocrite" Malloy, and his throng of evil, greedy, power-hungry, administrative cronies, who are all intent on turning ND into the Harvard of the Midwest.

Fucking academian liberals. Will the alumni please oust this bastard before he afflicts further harm onto our beloved football tradition?

Win or lose, I will bleed blue and gold until I die.

Go Irish.
 
You Know what gets me.. It's the kids and sometimes adults who go to Church, and cannot hold their bladder or bowels for an hour.. God doesn't appreciate being interrupted by a roll or toilet paper being flushed down the tube... Or the Philipinos who roll in forces of 9 after the Gospel and clamor to get Chairs.. Enjoy part II..

L.Unplugged

The Things We Think But Do Not Say II

by Adley Stephens
April 29, 2002

So, I had something else to write about this week, but after a couple of nails-on-the-chalkboard-type experiences, I decided to put something out there that needs to be said. So, here it is: If you are a parent who takes your kid to church, bloody well tell him to sit in the god-blessed pew, close his yipper, and pay attention to the mass. Seriously.
Uh, uh, uh, now just wait a minute my well-intentioned child advocate friends...take a breath...this is not about babies or infants who cry instinctively and can?t distinguish a place of worship from the car from their playpen. You know exactly who I am talking about: I?m all about those jug-head parents who bring SCHOOL-AGED children to mass and then give them free reign to open and slam song books, play with the kneelers, turn around and stare at ? or worse yet, touch ? the people behind them, crunch through a mid-morning snack, and / or flap their little chops all through mass. Perhaps not a big issue in May 2002, but here?s where I?m coming from:

Good Friday of this year, my brother goes to a service at our church. He sits in an empty pew and moves down so that people can sit beside him. In comes a father with a kid that my brother estimates to be 5 or 6 years old, i.e., crappin? old enough to behave for an hour in church. From the first Amen, this kid is having his own little party: jumping around, opening and slamming prayer books, and just generally proving himself a little cad. In the process, he makes the grave mistake of knocking against my brother a few times and even giving him a kick at one point. My brother swears he calmly tried to think the dilemma through, and then, poor misbehaved kid, something snapped and my brother flat-out told the kid not to touch him again for the rest of the service. Enter hellian?s Dad who is all defensive of his no doubt sugar-injected hyperactive child. His defense? ?But, he?s just a kid?. Bullshit.

But, wait, here?s where it gets good. I accompany my brother back to mass at the same parish a week later. TWENTY MINUTES into the mass, we are disrupted as a family who apparently doesn?t own an alarm clock clamours into church and takes their seat right in front of us and damn if their kids aren?t climbing over the pews, yelling out loud, and creating a whole new circus act to distract the people around them. At this point, my brother suspects he emits an electromagnetic force that draws pew-climbing, tongue-flapping, six year olds (and their self-involved, ignorant parents)...or that God is really testing him.

My point? This kind of crap is not just about your child and church. It is about respect, perspective, and you not being a great big ass of a parent. Irrespective of why an individual chooses to go to church, he or she is there to have their space with God. You do not have the right to impose on that space because you can?t control your children. If your kids can?t sit through the mass, LEAVE THEM AT HOME. Hear me now: your kids DO NOT develop their spirituality by having free-for-all playtime during mass and, quite frankly, neither do you.

My mom told me that when we were little and she took us to mass, she would sit us on her lap and put her arms around us so that we had no room to fidget or move. We eventually learned that if we wanted to get out of mom?s death hold and sit on our own, we had to sit still and be quiet. A bit Pavlovian, yes, but my parents would be damned if their children weren?t going to learn respect for other people as well as for the sanctity of the church. Let?s be honest, it?s about giving your kids the slightest idea of how to be socially graced: there are times to be the life of the party and there are times to shut up and defer to what is going on around you. For the love of God (literally), grab some responsibility and step up and teach your kid a life skill or two. Trust me, you?ll be better off as a parent, your kid will be a better person for it, and, Lord knows, my brother will thank you for it.

-AS


Adley Stephens' article is written and published special for NDToday.com every Monday. Feel free to send any questions, thoughts or ideas directly to Adley at adleystephens@hotmail.com
 
The following was originally published in:
Health & Happines: A Newsletter for Better Living - Volume 4: No. 2

BIOLOGICAL DENTISTRY


By Gerald H. Smith, D.D.S. - Langhorne, Pennsylvania, USA

A new era in dentistry is rapidly emerging as a result of the process of intelligent evolution. The transition between the purely mechanical phase (drill and fill) to the highly evolved biologic phase of dentistry has occurred slowly (over the past 150 plus years). As dentistry moves into the 21st century, it is providing a coupling of high tech materials, integration of techniques, and diagnostics with scientifically based research. Biologic dentists are focusing on biocompatible materials and their influence on the immune system, nutritional support for maintaining oral health, focal oral infections from root canaled and bone sites from previously extracted teeth, energy disturbances to the whole body, and the direct influence of the three dimensional relationship of the way the teeth mesh together to the stability of the spine and low back.

The inception of an organized biologic concept to the practice of dentistry had its origin in the late 1800's when the National Dental Association recognized the harmful effects of mercury fillings and mandated non-use by its members. This warning has finally been recognized and acted upon by several foreign countries that have either banned the use of mercury fillings or are in the process: Sweden, Germany, and Austria. The next major contribution occurred in the 1930's when a dentist, Weston Price, teamed up with an anthropologist, Francis Pottenger to document the link between tooth decay and bad bites to the processing of food (as presented in their well documented book: Nutrition and Physical Degeneration). This as well as other research provided the basis for biologic dentistry to utilize nutritional concepts in the treatment of oral disease. The 1940's witnessed the unheeded dental and medical communities' scientific warnings of the dangers of fluoride. After dismal results and many painful lessons 98% of Western Europe have banned the use of fluoride in their drinking water. Many other major countries have followed in their footsteps: Japan, Belgium, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark, Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Greece, Poland, India and China. The third major discovery involved focal infections from root canaled teeth and cavitational problems (residual infections in the bone following tooth extraction) placing a burden on the body's immune system with direct targeting of organs. Additional discoveries that span the era of the 1930's to present, by numerous researchers have helped link the distress from imbalances in the craniosacral system and teeth. This latter connection will prove to be one of the most important discoveries in the history of dental medicine. This evolutionary transition has awakened a new consciousness and infused a high level of excitement among biologic dental practitioners worldwide. Biologic dentistry offers the dentist a golden opportunity to practice at the highest professional level and the patient the chance to resolve their health issues.

Edward Arana, D.D.S.
(As written for the Holistic Dental Association's Web site)

Biological Dentistry can be categorized as dentistry with a conscious. A consciousness of how the treatments of the teeth and jaws will affect the health of the individual and how it will affect the immune system. Will it be congruent and health enhancing or will the treatments be health stressors to the individual.

In the past only lip service was paid to the biocompatibility of materials used in dentistry. The material's compatibility was judged on a general basis and not on an individual basis that is required for biocompatibility.

The most tragic example of misstated biocompatibility is organized dentistry's position of advocating a known poison -MERCURY- in amalgam fillings just because it has been used for 150 years! In doing so, dentistry has been misled and the truth obfuscated concerning the fact that mercury does indeed cause ill effects when placed as an implant in the body even to the point of denying that a filling in a prepared tooth cavity is not an implant. Mercury and other heavy metals from dental fillings contribute to all chronic disease states as do multiple chemical sensitizing exposures. From environmentally ill patients there is clinical evidence that the heavy metals from dental fillings and multiple chemical exposures act synergistically to intoxicate and stress the patient, thus causing disease.

Biological Dentistry is an emerging new field of Probiotic (supporting life) dental medicine. It has been developing in Germany over the last 25 years. It is now being taught and practiced in the U.S., Austria, Germany, England, France, Switzerland, Australia, Taiwan, Sweden, and Colombia. Biological Dentistry is aesthetic, relatively nontoxic and individually biocompatible. It utilizes physiologic and electronic methods to locate chronic areas of disease that are difficult to locate by current standard methods. Incorporated in this field of biological dental medicine are the time proven healing methods of homeopathy, acupuncture, nutrition, physical therapy and herbology. The more modern sciences of neural therapy, hematology, immunology and electro-acupuncture are also incorporated. These methods are in addition to the many scientific disciplines, which encompass the field of clinical dentistry. The curative measures of biological dentistry are applied in accordance with the patient's natural abilities of regulation, regeneration, and adaptation and self-cure. Biological dental treatment removes the stress burdens that conventional treatment may induce. The first area of concern in biological dentistry is the toxicity of metals and their release from the fillings and replacement appliances (metal partials and crowns that have nickel) used in dentistry. These metal ions dissociate from their masses to diffuse, migrate and become absorbed in the tissues altering the electrochemical character of the immune system concomitantly changing the ratios and populations of the blood cells (decreased while count) and the cells of the immune system. In addition, these migrating metal ions stop or alter the function of the body's enzymes.

The next area of biological concern is the extent and character of the direct electrical currents generated by the disassociation of dissimilar metals in an electrolyte media (fluids and tissues of the human body). This is called "oral galvanism." These currents carry disruptive metal ions to the opposite poles in these oral galvanic batteries. How much oral galvanic power is necessary to change organic function, to change membrane permeability, to interfere with the power of thought or recall, or to initiate degenerative change? We just don't know! But we do know that it does change from electronegative to electropositive.

Is it possible that these metallic energy sinks are acting as blockades in the meridians or bioenergetic circuits associated with the teeth? Can these blockades cause dysfunction in their respective organs, endocrine systems, vertebrae, muscles, nerves and nerve reflexes? It is and it does! Should we view current existing dental restorations as toxic scars? With mercury amalgam implanted in the teeth, most definitely. With gold and other metal restorations for again a certain percentage of people again most definitely and with composite cements on an individual basis, again most definitely. With just about any restorative material used in dentistry there will be blockades by the body if the immune system is still functional because the tooth is an open and dynamic living organ. Biological Dentistry is concerned with treatment and therapies that cause the least disturbance to the immune system.

The next area of concern in Biological Dentistry is that of hidden or residual infection to include areas of necrosis and chronic inflammation. Collectively these areas are called "Dental Interference Fields or Foci." This is dentistry's most ignored area for meaningful and effective therapeutic contributions in resolving chronic disease. A focus or dental interference field is a diseased change in the soft connective tissue containing un-processable material causing the local and general defense reactions to be in a continuous state of active conflict. This can lead to abnormal distant effects far removed from the original source and is most often chronic in nature.

Biological Dentists utilize materials reactivity testing to individualize the biocompatibility of dental materials used in the reparative and restorative aspects of dentistry. A materials reactivity test is made from the patient's blood serum. It is a qualitative antigen-antibody precipitin observation type test. It indicates what materials may be suitable for the patient to utilize in the restorative aspect of his dental treatment. W.J. Clifford, M.S. developed this test. The other types of testing for the individual biocompatibility assessment for suitable dental materials are electrodermal testing as advocated by Reinhold Voll, M.D. and Fritz Kramer, D.D.S. and Applied Kinesiology muscle testing as developed by George Goodheart, D.C.

Using all the knowledge and skills of probiotic dental medicine, biological dentists strive to provide individual biocompatibility testing, aesthetic, comfortable, functional and enduring dental artificial replacements. Biological dental treatment has the possibility of a stress reduction so great the patient loses all or many of their distressing chronic disease symptoms, which encompasses many pathological conditions.

Biological Dentistry is the great contribution that Sir William Osler meant when he said, "The next great advancement in medicine will come from the dentists." Biological Dentistry will, out of necessity, become the dental medicine of the 21st Century.

A Biologic Approach to Root Canals
Conventional dental procedures offer a technique which does not take into account biocompatibility of the filling materials, potential injury to surrounding tissues due to the caustic nature of medicaments used and high percentage of residual bacterial contamination. According to research by Dr. Boyd Haley of the University of Kentucky, 75% of root canal teeth have residual bacterial infections remaining in the dentinal tubules. These lingering infections produce toxic wastes that enter the blood stream and can affect any part of the body. A dentist, Weston Price, brought this information to light in the 1940's. Unfortunately for patients and the dental profession his scientific documentation and views were pushed aside. To date there is no acceptable conventional therapy to resolve this issue.

Conventional dental root canal therapy uses several materials that are not compatible:

Gutta perch: used to seal the main canals after the nerves are removed. Gutta perch has cadmium, which is a toxic material.
Eugenol based cements: this material is used to cement the gutta perch cones into the enlarged canals. Eugenol has an acid pH were as the living tissues that surround the root have an alkaline pH.
Clorox and hydrogen peroxide mixture: this combination is used to "sterilize" the inside of the main canals, which housed the nerve. Clorox and hydrogen peroxide both will injure tissue. A biologic approach to root canal therapy is less injurious and more biocompatible than standard procedures. Also a non-invasive test is now available to determine if any existing root canaled teeth are contaminated with bacteria and a potential source for medical problems. This test is now available at our office. The cost is $85 plus $35 for the office visit, postage and handling.
Biologic dental root canal therapy uses materials, which are biocompatible:
Biocalex 6.9: this material is made from calcium oxide and zinc oxide; both are bactericidal and the material has an alkaline pH that similar to the surrounding tissues.
Sanum remedies: these are homeopathic remedies from Germany that work like antibiotics but without any damaging effects. Colloidal silver: this solution is used instead of Clorox and hydrogen peroxide. Colloidal silver is capable of killing over 650 different forms of bacteria, viruses, Candida, and molds.
Bio-frequencies: this technology was used in the early 1930's and was extremely effective in destroying bacteria, viruses, molds, fungus, Candida and parasites.
Our preliminary research has shown that this approach is the only effective means that has a chance of resolving long standing residual bacterial infections in old root canaled teeth. There is no drug, homeopathic remedy, vitamin or mineral that can effectively kill these tiny bacteria that live in the small tubules that make up the root. Only the use of bio-frequencies has the capability of penetrating the surrounding bone and root without any damage to tissues. The number of treatments needed to treat this infection depends on the severity of the contamination level. A protocol of eight treatments is recommended. Each treatment takes approximately 75 minutes and costs $125 per session.


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Garlic: contains germanium, a mineral that has both preventive and curative effect on cancer. It also has sulfhydral groups which bind to heavy metals like mercury, cadmium, aluminum. It works like a diruetic, antibiotic, antispasmodic, stimulant, expectorant, and digestant. Successfully used for high blood pressure, asthma, gas, colds, and intestinal parasites.
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Dental Foci of Infection or Irritation


When teeth become inflammed because of trauma, fracture, decay or contaminated with bacteria, the tooth becomes a focus of infection or irritation. In the 1930's, a dental researcher, Weston Price, implanted infected teeth into healthy rabbits. The rabbits came down with the same medical symptoms as those of its host. The rabbits exhibited heart, kidney, lung or other similar symptoms as manifested by the host. Dr. Price concluded that the toxins produced by the infected tooth found there way into the blood stream and was capable of causing disease within specific organs. In the 1940's, the medical and dental professions both recognized such problems as valid and provided the basis for recommendations of tooth removal. In recent years a French medical/dental physician and researcher, Agnes Koubie, discovered that even a tooth whose pulp became inflammed from routine dental drilling could serve as the source for far removed arthritic type pains. If the distant pain resolved after injecting a local anesthetic around the offending tooth, Dr. Koubie concluded that the tooth was the underlying cause.

Cilantro: A Powerful herb That Works Like A Chelating Agent Chelating agents are substances that bond to other substances. In nature sulfur has the ability to bond to toxins and heavy metals like mercury, cadmium, lead, aluminum and others. Animals instinctively seek out sulfur to heal themselves. When a dog gets sick it will eat grass. The young blades of grass possess high sulfur content and serves to neutralize toxins. Cilantro is an herb that is commonly used in Thai, Vietnamese, and Mexican dishes. In addition to its culinary benefits, it has recently been discovered to be a powerful chelating agent. Yoshiaki Omura, MD, director of medical research at the heart Disease Foundation and president of the International College of Acupuncture in New York, reported that after finding he had been heavily exposed to mercury, he accidently discovered that when cilantro is taken in a slightly cooked form it causes a massive secretion of mercury in the urine. Dietrick Klinghardt, MD, Ph.D also recommends cilantro as the best means to remove mercury from the brain. His clinical research has found that 5 grams (teaspoonful) a day is the minimum dose. Cilantro can easily be prepared by finely chopping one heaping teaspoonful of fresh cilantro and placing it in either chicken soup or boiled water and allowed to steep for twenty minutes. One can sip the tea through out the day.
 
Excuse the previously posted Worthless ARticle..

L.Unplugged

[This message has been edited by Lemonite (edited 05-02-2002).]
 
I thought this was pretty interesting and informative. Doubtless most of you will find problems with it, but that's what we're here to talk about...

L.Unplugged

Wednesday, April 10, 2002
By Radley Balko


A curious thing happened when I filed my income taxes this year. I discovered that I'm filthy rich.


How do I know? Because the deduction I?m supposed to get for the interest I pay on my student loans phases out for "top earners." This year, under former President Clinton?s tax code, that deduction began phasing out for me. This means I?m rich.

I'm rich! My first inclination was to call up every ex-girlfriend I've ever had and let her know she missed her chance. After all, I?ll be dating supermodels soon. I broke out the Cockburn's 20-year Tawny Port, poured it carelessly (I can afford to spill now!), and split a snifter with my driver. I told my chef to fire up some filets and invite his family over for dinner ? on me. I lit a fresh Macanudo with a rolled up, flaming $20 bill. I can do these things now. Because I'm rich.

I'm kidding, of course. In reality, I just came out of forbearance on one of my student loans. I still rent my house. When I do have a driver, it's only for ten or fifteen minutes, and my limo is usually yellow, with a lamp on top. My chef is always asking me if I want to make that a value meal. Still, according to the tax code, I'm "rich."

A new study by the Tax Foundation casts some light on the absurdities of the concept of "wealthy." During the fight over President Bush's tax plan last year, Democrats, you may remember, harangued the president as a man too sympathetic to the wealthy. As it turns out, wealthy is a fairly relative term, and the reason why the wealthy get the brunt of most Republican-sponsored tax breaks is because ? get ready for this ? the wealthy pay the brunt of the taxes.

In 1999, the richest 1 percent of Americans took in 19.5 percent of the income. But they paid 36.2 percent of the taxes. The figures are similar for the top 5 percent, who made 34 percent of the money but paid 55 percent of the taxes. So much for rich people escaping taxes with sneaky loopholes, sleazy accountants and offshore shelters.

Want to bust more stereotypes? The income cutoff for the richest 5 percent is just over $120,000. In a good-sized city, a college graduate in his late twenties could probably expect to make about $60,000 per year. If two people making this much money get married, they'd find themselves in the top 5 percent of income earners ? the filthy rich. These aren't trust fund babies. They?re Gen-Xers from the suburbs with a bachelor's degree.

The top 25 percent of income earners (and this would include those same two Gen-Xers if they didn't get married) pay a whopping 83.5 percent of U.S. taxes. In contrast, the bottom half of income earners ? that's 50 percent of all taxpayers ? bear just 4 percent of the tax burden, while earning 13 percent of the income.

Anyway you slice it, rich Americans are paying far more than their share.

So when Democrats say that the latest Republican tax cut "only benefits the wealthy," we need to do two things. First, we need to remember just who the wealthy really are. Wealthy no longer necessarily means the aristocratic Louis Winthorpe III, Dan Akroyd?s riches-to-rags blueblood in Trading Places. Today, wealthy, as defined by the IRS, probably means the 28-year-old public relations account executive sitting next to you on the subway.

Second, we need to employ a little logic. If the richest Americans are bearing a huge chunk of the tax burden, then any sizable tax cut will, necessarily, disproportionately benefit the richest Americans.

Opponents of tax cuts also usually include the poorest Americans in their figures, who pay no income taxes at all. A tax break for someone who pays no taxes is in some places called free money.

Another nasty figure from Tax Foundation study shows that the tax gap is growing. The richest 1 percent paid just 19 percent of the total tax burden in 1980. As noted above, they now pay 36 percent.

This is cause for concern. When 50 percent of Americans pay just 4 percent of the taxes, what sort of tax policies do you think they?re going to endorse on Election Day? Egged on by Democrat demagoguery, the tax burden will likely continue to shift to the upper brackets, which will create even bigger gaps. It?s possible that, in the words of Sen. Barbara Milkulski, we?ll keep "going and getting it from those who?ve got it" until we drive our economy straight into the ground.

This is the sort of majority tyranny factionalism our more thoughtful founding fathers feared. In summarizing the argument of those concerned with factions, James Madison wrote in Federalist No. 10, "... measures are too often decided, not according to the rules of justice and the fights of the minor party, but by the superior force of an interested and overbearing majority."

For now, the majority?s interest is partially offset by the fact that wealthier people are more likely to vote. But as both parties fight for the loyalty of the middle class with tax credits, the tax burden will continue to climb the income ladder.

At the same time, politicians are wooing other loyalties with promises of more government services. Someone has to pay for all this. Increasingly, those people are our society?s most wealthy. And every dollar they pay in taxes is a dollar less they invest in job and wealth creation. It hurts them now. It?ll hurt all of us later.
 
Just a thought on Affirmative Action.. I'm surprised more of you people don't have a problem with this.. That the blacks out there aren't'insulted, because that's exactly what it is.. It's a Racist Insult. As long as we have it, we will still have racism. Here's a nice quote I found....
L.Unplugged


"Affirmative action is an insult. Affirmative action is nothing more than a bunch of white liberals telling black people they're incompetent. They can't do it on their own without The White Liberals.. You Don't have what It Takes. In fact this is what all of liberalism is... Without Them (The Liberal Leaders), You Can't Get Anywhere on your own." ~EIB
 
Originally posted by Lemonite:
I heard a funny thing today.. President Bush was out in the Adirondacks giving a speech on EARTH DAY, but it apparently had to be moved inside due to Ri Cock U Lous SnowStorms.. When one of the big fanatical issues of Earth Day is GLobal WArming.. Hahhaha.. What Jackasses..

global warming causes extreme weather, not constant warming, jackass.

--mr. ass

------------------
Fatty the Skank
 
Originally posted by Ass Hare:
global warming causes extreme weather, not constant warming, jackass.

--mr. ass


Hahaha.. Apparently there's a pole somewheres in ya.. It was just a funny on the surface contradiction.. 'The Earth is Hotter this year than Ever Before', Yet it was snowing.. That's all.. With your name, I assume you get such kind of jokes..

L.Unplugged
 
Sports Guy opens an NBA Six-Pack!
By Bill Simmons
Page 2 columnist


Every artist -- and by artists, I mean musicians, writers, painters and Moochie Norris -- needs one vice that turns off much of his audience, just to keep things fresh. For instance, during the late-'80s, I attended a Boston concert at the Meadowlands for their "Third Stage" tour. You remember the "Third Stage" album -- had that sappy "Amanda" song and a variety of crappy songs? I'm gonna take you by surprise, and make you realize, Amanda? That song? Yeah, exactly. Still, it was Boston, for God's sake.

Well, they came out and played five of their classic hits in a row -- "More Than a Feeling," "Smokin'," etc. -- and we were going bonkers. It was the greatest concert of all-time. We were going crazy. It was like "Game 7 of the World Series"-level loud. After five straight classics with no dialogue, the lead singer finally stepped to the mike and gave us this one:

"Thank you very much. As you know, we have a new album out called 'Third Stage.' We're gonna try something different tonight -- right now, we're going to play the entire 'Third Stage' album, in sequence. We hope you enjoy it."

Well, you can imagine what happened. The ensuing stampede to the refreshment/concession stands left 35 dead and 145 injured. The band might as well have called in a bomb threat. But that didn't stop Boston from playing that entire album with the same passion and commitment to which they extended every other song, even if the stadium was only 25 percent full and people were coming up with reasons to stand in various lines ("Sure, I have a full beer, but I could always use another one").

Why is this story relevant? Because of the following announcement: Over the next 10 weeks, I'm writing at least one NBA column per week, a period of time that extends through the Finals and the draft at the end of June.

Yeah, some of you might consider it a "Third Stage"-type decision. And if you skip these columns because you don't like the NBA, well... no hard feelings. Seriously, I'll get over it. You'll just have to indulge me until late-June; the NBA is my favorite sport. And if you ever get the urge to send me a "Stop writing about the NBA!" e-mail, just remember that nobody's holding a gun to your head -- if you don't like the NBA, again, just skip those particular columns. It's very simple. Last time I checked, this column was free ... unlike that Boston concert.

One more thing: I need some sort of dopey gimmick to carry me through the NBA Playoffs, so I came up with the "Six-Pack." Basically, the column will be composed of six separate extended observations/thoughts about the NBA Playoffs as they drag on (and on, and on), allowing me to cover as much ground as possible (while relieving me of the pressure to write a single, coherent column). And if that's not enough, the gimmick allows my editors to give each NBA column a snazzy promo like "Sports Guy opens an NBA Six-Pack!" and "Simmons gets drunk on the NBA!" They're so easy.

Wait, one more thing: Thursday night's Nets-Pacers double-OT thriller was so wildly entertaining, after the game finally ended, I skipped down to my local Store 24 just to buy some Sour Patch Kids and tell Joe the Alcoholic Counter Guy about it. Let there be no doubt ... I love this game.

On to the Six-Pack ...
No. 1: Kevin Garnett
For months and months, I've been writing how KG was the greatest Second Banana of all-time, how he wasn't talented enough to carry his own team, how his pricetag ($20 million a year) made it nearly impossible for Minnesota to surround him with the supporting talent to help him in crunch-time (including a much-needed Go-To Guy). I even placed Dirk Nowitzki ahead of KG in my "Who has the highest trade value?" column last month, which generated a staggering amount of "What the hell were you thinking?" e-mails.

Well ... who's laughing now? Huh? Huh? Somewhere along the line, the whole "Is KG really a superstar?" debate became the Story Du Jour of these playoffs, culminating in a spirited discussion between Danny Ainge and the always-incoherent Magic Johnson after one TNT playoff game last week. As Red Auerbach would say, the proof was in the pudding. For the 37th straight season, Minnesota was bounced in Round One of the playoffs. And even if KG submitted his usual gaudy stats (a 20/17 every game), two things hadn't changed: He doesn't make his teammates better, and he can't create his own shot at the end of games.

Back to the Second Banana thing, which I never fully explained last month: Think of Tubbs and Crockett from "Miami Vice." Crockett was the star of the show. He was The Man, the Go-To Guy ... and everyone knew it. But we also knew that you can't carry a show by yourself. So Tubbs' job was to play off Crockett, cover his back, kick him in the butt, provide some laughs, pull off the Jamaican accent from time to time, hook up with any black actress who was appearing on the show, knock the Unintentional Comedy Rating through the roof every so often, and occasionally -- not often, but occasionally -- carry his own episode, just to mix things up.

Could Tubbs have carried his own show? Maybe. It would have been an OK show ... probably would have lasted two or three seasons, before it finally got canceled, depending on his supporting cast. And then Philip Michael Thomas would have been relegated to game shows and infomercials for the rest of his career, which is pretty much what happened, anyway. But at least with "Miami Vice," he was a crucial component of the greatest detective show of the '80s. It wouldn't have been nearly as good without him.

And that's Garnett, in a nutshell. He's like a more talented version of Tubbs. You love him to death, you want him to succeed, he brings a ton to the table ... but he just can't carry his own show. At least not a good one.

That's why, in my opinion, Garnett has a terrific chance to become the greatest complimentary player of the modern era (post-1970). Better than James Worthy (Big Game James, the most underrated player of his generation). Better than Kevin McHale (who would have become the best power forward of all-time if he hadn't broken his foot). Better than Scottie Pippen (whose underappreciated, misunderstood career deserves its own column at some point). Better than Andrew Toney (another guy sidetracked by foot problems). Better than Dave Cowens (who won two titles playing next to John Havlicek). And much better than Penny Hardaway (who would have been the first person mentioned on this list if he didn't come down with prima donna syndrome).

Imagine KG with Kobe, Iverson, T-Mac or Pierce? Hell, imagine him with Baron Davis? Garnett would be making every clutch defensive play, grabbing every rebound, firing the crowd up, keeping everyone's intensity up, tossing up a 20-15 every night, and occasionally -- not often, but occasionally -- carrying his own episode.

Just like Tubbs.

No. 2: John Stockton
During Game 4 of the Utah-Sacramento series, there was a moment in the final two minutes -- after the Kings extended their lead to six, and things looked grim -- when Stockton was dribbling up the court on a fast break ... and I'm thinking to myself, "Pull-up 3, he's going for the pull-up 3" ... and he dribbles over midcourt, like he's heading to the basket ... and Mike Bibby was back on his heels ... and then Stockton pulled up and launched his classic "My momentum is taking me forward, but somehow I stopped my body long enough to launch this baby" 3.

Swish. Three-point game.

And that's why I'm gonna miss John Stockton. After 17 years, you know him inside and out, you know all his moves, you know what he's doing before he even does it ... and he's still pulling it off. At age 40. Unbelievable. I still think Isiah was better in their respective primes, but Stockton's surreal longevity makes it a pretty good debate. I'd take Isiah, personally -- when in doubt, just count the rings -- but at least we're having this discussion. I wouldn't have even considered it four years ago.

Switching gears to guys I won't miss ...

No. 3: Patrick Ewing

My favorite dopey NBA playoff tradition goes like this: Every spring, one NBA star seems headed for retirement after the season, which means the announcers inevitably make a big fuss about it and say things like, "This might be the last time we see so-and-so in an NBA uniform!"

Of course, it doesn't matter if we actually care about the star in question. Remember when Jeff Hornacek was retiring two years ago? The announcers were breathlessly saying, "This could be the last chance to ever see Jeff Hornacek in a Utah uniform" and "If this is Jeff Hornacek's last game, what a career he's had." Jeez, I can't believe I forgot to cue up the VCR for that one. Wouldn't want to miss the chance to capture Hornacek's last game on tape. Just ridiculous.

We were subjected to the same crap this week with The Artist Formerly Known As Patrick Ewing, who has been stuck in that "15-Year-Old Poodle With Cataracts and Diabetes Who Starts Going To The Bathroom In The House and Needs To Be Put To Sleep" phase of his career for two years running. Besides, this wasn't Kareem on his last legs ... hell, it wasn't even Hakeem. Did Ewing have a Hall of Fame career? I guess. I also know there wasn't one season where we could look back and say, "Man, Ewing had it going that year" or "Nobody could handle him that season." As amazing as this sounds, the Georgetown version of Ewing was more memorable than the New York version.

Think about it. Ewing was utterly devoid of charisma. He never made his teammates better. He might have been the most overrated NBA player of the past two decades -- horrendous hands, unreliable at crunch-time, dubious rebounder, terrible passer out of the double-team, the whole nine yards. His prime coincided with an era when true NBA centers were few and far between, yet he never took full advantage of that window. He was so freaking slow -- because of his bad knees -- that the Knicks never really seriously contended until Pat Riley adopted that slow-it-down, thug-ball, rugby-style of play that catered to Ewing and nearly ruined the NBA as we know it. And during his only appearance in the NBA Finals -- which happened only because MJ had retired -- another center (Hakeem) pretty much destroyed him.

So for announcers to pull the "This could be our last chance to see Patrick Ewing" routine ... well, I find it a little insulting. Don't ask me to appreciate someone who I didn't appreciate that much in the first place, especially when he's been hanging on just to collect paychecks for the past two seasons.

And as Dennis Miller would say, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

No. 4: The Lakers

Game 3, sellout in Portland, must-win for the Blazers, four-point lead in the final 30 seconds, crowd going bonkers, and the Lakers have every reason to fold and regroup for Game 4. Nope. Kobe Bryant nails a 3. After the intentional foul, Portland misses one of two free throws. Now Los Angeles has a chance to tie. Tie? Screw that. They diagram a play in which Kobe drives to the basket, draws Robert Horry's defender, then kicks it to Horry in the corner for a 3 ... bingo. Game over.

We always glorify champions while they're winning the title, but to me, true champions are the ones who return for the following season and continue to play like champions. That's what the Lakers pulled off Sunday. It was reminiscent of a 1978 game that David Halberstam described in "Breaks Of The Game" -- the best basketball book of all-time -- when the defending champion Blazers thrashed a talented Atlanta team by 40 points. As Halberstam writes: "Afterward, in the (Blazers) locker room, which had been unusually joyous that night, Lloyd Neal had held up his hand with the championship ring and shouted, 'I guess we showed them that they didn't give us these rings by any f---ing mistake.' It was the way everyone on the team felt. They were the best."

For some reason, I always remember that quote whenever I watch a game like that Blazers-Lakers game. Just a classic "They didn't give us these rings by any f---ing mistake!" game. And as long as the Lakers keep winning those games from time to time, the road to the NBA title goes through them.

But you knew that already.

No. 5: The Dow Report

Whose stock rose and dropped the most after round one? A quick look:

Up: Baron Davis ... the best young point guard in the league, someone with a knack for making big plays when it truly matters (witness: the steal off Tracy McGrady in Game 1). He might even have a chance to be special before everything's said and done, and not just because he has more teeth than any NBA player in league history. We need to have an All-Choppers matchup between him and Mateen Cleaves.

Down: Karl Malone ... they officially rammed the salad fork into his back as he was single-handedly derailing the Jazz during Game 4 of the Sacramento series (14 points, three rebounds, a number of wince-provoking moments). Sad to watch. It's not like he always played well in the playoffs, but at least back in the day, he wasn't killing his team ... at least until the Finals. Let the record show that Karl Malone was an excellent player for an especially long length of time. And now that time is over.

Up: Andrei Kirilenko ... he's like a cross between Michael Cooper, Bob Horry, Dennis Rodman, and Fred Roberts after 12 cups of coffee. Just a lot to like here. Needs to play for a contending team at some point.

Down: Rashard Lewis ... apparently the WNBA season started early.

Up: Dirk Nowitzki ... how do you say "He's made The Leap" in German? Der frueilin leapschanazen?

Down: Everyone on Sacramento, other than maybe Vlade Divac. If you're a Kings fan, you have to be dreading Dallas in the rearview mirror right now. And just for the record, if the Kings don't figure out a master plan in crunch time sometime soon, it's going to be four-and-out for them. Seriously. They looked terrible against the Jazz. The only guys in playoff form for Sacramento were the towel-waving yahoos on the bench. Does anyone have a more supportive bench than them? Cleaves is really the Jack Haley of his generation.

Up: Keon Clark ... made himself a lot of money over the past few weeks.

Down: The Lakers bench ... Good God. Do you realize they're playing five guys right now? Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe, Horry, Derek Fisher and Rick Fox. That's it. Everyone else comes in just to give someone a breather. It's a debacle. The standby phrase "Shaq, Kobe and 10 nobodies would beat anyone in the league" will definitely be tested later this month. Other than Horry, there isn't another above-average player on the roster besides The Big Two.

Up: Jon Barry ... inspiring to watch at times. Except for Allen Iverson, there isn't a guy in the league who plays harder. Big year for the Barry family.

Down: Magic Johnson ... just go away. Please. We're begging you
Up: Jeff Van Gundy ... what's not to love? He was candid, insightful and funny; more importantly, he meshed extremely well with Mike Fratello, which was surprising since they never announced games together before this spring. You can't force chemistry; you either have it or you don't, and Fratello and Van Gundy have it. When Marv Albert returns this spring, they have a chance to become the best three-man booth in NBA announcing history. No joke.

Down: Byron Scott and Isiah Thomas ... watching these guys match wits in round one was like watching a chess match between Crackhead Bob and Joey Lawrence. Game 5 alone was filled with more mistakes than your average porn shoot. I haven't seen two teams guided that poorly since Gabe Kaplan and Bob Conrad were captains during the 1980 edition of "Battle of the Network Stars."

(Enough lame similes for you? You get the point? OK, good. But seriously, what about the Nets not fouling in the final five seconds of regulation of Game 5, allowing Reggie Miller to launch his game-tying 3? What about Isiah living and dying in Game 5 with Kevin Ollie? What about the Pacers being totally dumbfounded by the same play for five straight games -- the little high pick for Jason Kidd? Or the Nets not even considering a full-court press when the Pacers had Ron Mercer bringing the ball up during Game 4 and Game 5? Good God. That series could have made for an entire column in itself. Let's just move on.)

Up: Derrick Coleman ... unquestionably the surprise story of the season. Did you ever think you would see DC playing hard, making intangible plays, playing in pain, putting up 16/10's in the playoffs every night ... and doing it in the same series that included a rejuvenated Kenny Anderson? It's like meeting an attractive female in Boston. You just can't believe it's happening.

Down: Team Stern ... for not being intelligent enough to incorporate instant replay to decide buzzer-beating shots. Inexplicable. I can't think of a single reason why this wouldn't work.

Up: Mortgage commercials ... I like the one TNT always shows where the husband comes home with a new dog, and his wife is confused because he said that they couldn't have a dog until they bought a house, and then he gives her the smile and says, "We got the house." Good stuff. Always gets me.

(As an added bonus, the guy playing the husband was Joel Goodson's horny buddy from "Risky Business." You know ... That Guy? Good to see him still working.)

Down: The NBA ... for ruining that Lenny Kravitz "Once you dig in" song by ordering TNT and NBC to play it roughly 17,500 times over the past two weeks (for their playoff commercials). Once you dig in ... I'm going to bang myself in the forehead ... and once you dig in ... I'm slamming a fork into my eyeballs ...

Up: Iverson ... he misses the last 14 games of the season, comes back for the playoffs with his left hand in a cast, then proceeds to pour in 42 points in a do-or-die Game 3 (with more than a little help from the refs) and score eight crucial points in the final 73 seconds of Game 4. Remarkable. The best little guy of all-time.

Down: Team Stern (yes, twice) ... for the third straight season in which they staggered the first-round schedules to create as many NBC games as possible. None of these series had any flow -- teams were overprepared and out of synch, and nobody seemed to have any momentum other than the free-wheeling Mavs.

Up: TNT ... for their "Studio Cameos" by NBA players and former players, which can occasionally knock the Unintentional Comedy Rating out of the ballpark. Pau Gasol's night in the studio needs to be released on DVD at some point.

Still to be decided: Paul Pierce ... actually, this deserves its own section.

No. 6: Pierce
Here's a quick story ...

Last summer, right before Pierce signed his contract extension with the Celtics, I ate dinner with him and a few other people, just a standard get-to-know-you session (the details aren't really important). We spent most of dinner talking about the Celtics, the NBA, the season ahead ... and after a while, it became pretty obvious that Pierce wasn't just a basketball player. He was actually a basketball fan. At one point, I mentioned watching ESPN's "SportsCentury" show about Isiah Thomas that week and Pierce interrupted me.

"I saw that," Pierce said, his eyes lighting up. "Did you see the 'Behind The Glory' show about Chris Webber?"

I told him that I hadn't seen it.

"You should see it," he said, nodding. "That's a good one, too."

For some reason, I found the whole exchange intriguing. So I started doing some friendly digging. Turns out that Pierce is a basketball junkie. Watches all the playoff games once the Celtics get knocked out. Watches every NBA-related documentary on ESPN and Fox. Watches every old-school NBA game on ESPN Classic. Watches summer league games on ESPN2. Heck, he even coerced the Celtics into sending him game tapes of every Celtics game from the 2001 season, just so he could scout himself.

The guy simply loves basketball. Lives and breathes it. Better yet, unlike most of the guys in the league, he could pick Gus Williams out of a police lineup, he knows Andrew Toney had an unstoppable first step, he knows the Lakers wouldn't have won the '87 title without Mychal Thompson ... he's just a basketball fan who coincidentally happens to play basketball for a living. And he was sitting home last summer, night after night, watching all these games and documentaries, telling himself over and over again, "Some day, it's gonna be me ... some day it's gonna be me."

Anyway, I thought about that dinner during Game 2 of the Sixers series, after Pierce drained a clutch 3 with two minutes left -- the eventual game-winner -- one of those ballsy, breathtaking plays that only the great ones make. And we erupted. We just erupted. Ever since Reggie Lewis died and the Celtics fell apart, we had been waiting for another night like this, another game like this, another player like this. So Philly called a time-out, and everyone remained standing, getting louder and louder, going pretty much insane -- waves of cheers, almost like a Roman coliseum. And Pierce was standing in the middle of it, his arms raised above his head, pumping his fists, nodding and soaking everything in. His time had come.

And that brings us to Friday night. Game 5. Sixers-Celtics. Winner advances, loser goes home. A sold-out crowd ready to raise the roof again. And Paul Pierce standing in the middle of it all, ready to make The Leap, ready to become part of history, ready to shine, ready to realize a dream. Some things are just meant to be.

Bill Simmons writes three columns a week for Page 2.
 
A Little more history on this Palestinian/Israeli Conflict

L.Unplugged

Mona Charen
About those refugee camps
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
As the Jenin "massacre" takes its place alongside other Arab myths -- Mossad or CIA responsibility for the crash of Egypt Air Flight 990 in 1999, the suspicious "fact" that 4,000 Jews failed to show up for work at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, the Jewish practice of using human blood in their holiday cakes -- some on this side of the Atlantic and this side of sanity have been asking: "What's with these refugee camps? Why do people remain in camps 54 years after Israel's founding?"


This is key to understanding the conflict. The Arab refugees remain in camps because of the cynical decision by Arab governments and the PLO to keep them miserable and poor. Refugee camps are distributed among Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Only Jordan has offered citizenship to them. Before June 1967, when Egypt controlled Gaza and Jordan held the West Bank, neither nation gave the land to the Palestinians for a state because the idea was that they would eventually return to the real Palestine -- Israel. A Syrian-sponsored conference in 1957 declared that "... a solution of the Palestine problem which will not be based on ensuring the refugees' right to annihilate Israel will be regarded as a desecration of the Arab people. ..."


Who supports the Palestinians living in these camps? Mostly, the Europeans. We pay approximately 30 percent of the bill for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, the U.N. agency that administers the relief. The Palestinians are the only people on earth who live on international welfare. In 1948, the United States contributed $25 million and Israel gave $3 million (though the identical number of Jewish refugees who fled Arab states got nothing). All of the Arab nations combined gave $600,000.


For the next 20 years, the United States provided two-thirds of the funds for the Palestinians. The Arab governments, who claimed that no issue was closer to their hearts than the "plight" of the Palestinians, gave a pittance. They increased their contributions somewhat during the 1980s. But last year, according to Fox News, the United States gave $83.6 million to UNRWA. Saudi Arabia gave $1.8 million. All of the Arab nations combined contributed only 2 percent of UNRWA's budget.

We are told repeatedly that the Palestinians are "desperate" and that Israel's act of self-defense will only create more suicide killers. This is doubtful. Weakness is provocative, and defeat can be a wonderful teacher. Besides, passivity in the face of daily murders is something no society can tolerate. Only the certainty that she would be universally condemned stayed Israel's hand for 18 months.


But this also raises another question: Why are the Palestinians desperate? Since the Oslo Accords of 1993, 97 percent of them have been living under the sovereignty of the Palestinian Authority, not under Israeli "occupation."


And what did Arafat and his brethren do with this freedom? Did they welcome investment, build the infrastructure, settle people permanently in Arab villages and towns, and in general begin to behave like a people eager for a peaceful state next to Israel? No. In fact they spurned many offers of development aid in favor of building breeding grounds for fanatics and terrorists, importing massive amounts of weapons and preaching jihad. The suicide killer has become a heroic symbol of Palestinian "struggle." Arafat's wife lamented that she had no sons to send to their deaths.


In this, the United Nations is complicit. At schools funded and run by the UNRWA, depictions of Jews as monkeys and Israelis as Nazis are common fare. U.N. employees have abetted the vehement anti-Semitism that is bread and butter to the Palestinian Authority. A few days ago, the U.N. Human Rights Commission voted (without the approval of Canada, Great Britain, the Czech Republic, Germany or Guatemala) to condemn Israel for "acts of mass killings" (which never happened) and endorsed Palestinian "armed struggle" (i.e., terrorism).


The cruel decision by Arab governments to use the Palestinians as ticking time bombs against Israel has paid off more handsomely than they could have imagined in 1948. Their metaphorical bombs have become real. What a victory for their people.


Comment on JWR contributor Mona Charen's column by clicking here.


Mona Charen Archives
 
Here's something I found.. I'm not sure how old it is, or what not, cuz the link to it is no longer there.. but It's an 'Anti Gay Hate Group' publishing a list of people they think deserves to die.. Geezus.. anyways, it at least provided a few good laughs for their morbidity after I got over my initial disgustedness...

L.Unplugged

THE LIST of people this group wants to die horribly:

D. James Kennedy, owner and operator of the traveling christohet supremacy sideshow called the "Reclaiming America for Christ" Conferences, as well as Florida's Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, Evangelism Explosion International, Knox Theological Seminary, Coral Ridge Ministries Media, Inc., and Westminster Academy.

"D.J." deserves to experience a horrible death soon. He's earned at least terminal leprosy. "D.J." was just another of many money-sucking radio and TV evangelists telling his audiences whatever lies would get him as much tax-free cash as he could get the idiots to send him. Then he discovered that putting "Gays are after your children (of course) but we will protect your children and the country from those predators if you send enough money" in his fundraising letters could make him into a stinking rich political megalomaniac like his role model, Pat Robertson, at whose feet 'D.J.' grovels, and grumbles about being in second place. His now-perfected cash-to-feel-superior, cash-for-fear, pay-to-stay-ignorant system works especially well when followed closely with another letter, such as:

Dear Steve ("Mr. AOL") and Joan Case,
"Thank you for your donation of $8.35-million, but it's NOT ENOUGH! We need more money! The homos are coming! The homos are coming! They're recruiting in an elementary school near you RIGHT NOW, just as we taught you when you were students here! Look! We have an American flag in our church too! What's the matter with you?! Don't you love your innocent het children and your slice of J.C.'s country?! What are you, some kind of homos now?! Send more money or burn in hell forever!!

Yours in the mutually necrophilic embrace of my big fella, Jesus Christ,
'D.J.' Kennedy"

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Donald E. Wildmon, Pres. American Family Association (just raised another $1.3-million in a "Spring Sharathon" via an AF Radio station near you.
Tim Wildmon, V.P. AFA
AFA P.O. Drawer 2440
Location: Tupelo, Mississippi (50 miles from Memphis)
Main office phone 662-844-5036 [ext. 218 Wildmon's sec'ty?]
Main office fax 662-842-7798
Pledge phone line: 1-800-844-8893
Website: http://www.afa.net
Email: afa@afa.net
Personal info (on Donald, from the AFA website): "Bottom line, he's not out to impress anybody. In his words, 'I'm not profound, I'm a fighter.' ... Don Wildmon is an unlikely national celebrity. He is not a charismatic leader, per se. He does not turn heads when you walk with him into a restaurant. He does not wear Armani suits, and his shirts do not have stitched monograms, let alone duff links. He does not turn up the charm when he talks to the press. Wildmon is thoroughly unpretentious."

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Ronald Reagan, ex-President, deserves to experience a horrible death soon, and is getting what he deserves. We're listing him as wounded because the way he is dying is horrible (Alzheimer's) and irreversible, even if he isn't aware of it anymore, and not soon enough we will happily add him to our Good Riddance! section.

As President, he couldn't remember to deal with the growing AIDS pandemic, couldn't remember to give some money to the Centers for Disease Control for drug treatment research, couldn't remember to authorize the publication of factual information about how the disease was being spread, etc. ? all because he is a het supremacist, and the suffering and dying were "only Queers." Ronald Reagan is personally responsible for the long and torturous deaths of hundreds of thousands of gay men in the U.S.A. from AIDS. Today, he can't remember not to go to the bathroom in his pants, and he deserves worse, for the many other ways he has hurt millions of this country's people as well, such as poor families, and those who are mentally or physically disabled.

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Jesse Helms can't walk anymore, so he qualifies as being a bit wounded, but unfortunately he is not suffering much. His age will catch up with him sooner than later.

Strom Thurmond, the oldest racist, sexist, homosexual-hating jerk in the Senate. Strom Thurmond is so old and useless he is nothing but a doddering shell ? more of a joke now than he ever was ? rotting to death while the nation watches and laughs. There are more betting pools going about the date of Strom Thurmond's long-anticipated death than there are about when Ronald Reagan's sour old body will finally follow the example of his Alzheimer's-addled brain and finish dying a justifiably horrible death.

Pat Robertson is the anti-Christ if there is one (there is no such boogey-man, in our opinion). There does seem to be no more greedy, prideful and arrogant person alive today. If there were a god who is kind, this metastisized televangelist would already be dead. All we can do is say he really has earned the horrible death that is wished upon him as soon as possible.

James Dobson, Focus on the Family (FOF), Family Research Council (lots more to come on this lizard)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter LaBarbera, founder of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality and The Lambda Report, now Director of the Americans for Truth (he dropped the words "About Homosexuality" to sound more mainstream in TV sound bites) Project of Kerusso Ministries, located outside Washington, D.C. LaBarbera is a true bottomfeeder, a scum-sucking weasel who is obsessed with Queer sex beyond all reason. Watch as he steps on the bodies of those he kills with his obsession and lies while he makes his career as a Queer hater and hunter. His death should be soon, our magic ball predicts, since he is rotting now from the inside out. Unfortunately, the 8-Ball of fortune-telling doesn't see him suffering as long as those he has harmed over the many years he's been operating, and continues to harm today.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerry Falwell - while the name says it all, there's more to come on the Ronald McDonald of evangelism.

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Gary Bauer - more, more and still more on this guy. He's got as many dangerous "sharps" as Edward Scissorhands and he's nowhere near as nice.


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Beverly LaHaye, Concerned Women for America - This is where it's hard to keep from going into X-rated language. It's too easy, really, but come on, she really does rhyme with the smallest of the litter.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve Baldwin California State Assemblyman (R) - Been watching this truly mean man for years, from our vantage point here in San Diego. When death comes to him, and we wish it would come soon, our hope ist that it shows no mercy, no quarter, for this merciless, cold-blooded shark.


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Allen Trovillion, 74
Florida State Representative (R- Winter Park)
Capitol Office: Room 210 House Office Building
402 S. Monroe St, Tallahassee FL 32399-1300
Phone: (850)488-0660

District Office: 1360 Palmetto Ave, Winter Park FL 32789-4916;
Phone: (407)623-1355; SUNCOM: 334-1355
Email: trovillion.allen@leg.state.fl.us
Serves as the chair of the Florida State Tourism Committee. He verbally attacked a group of Queer high school students during a previously announced "Lobby Day." This scum publically humiliated them and instilled within them a fear of their own representatives to the U.S. government.


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Lou Sheldon, Andrea Sheldon and all members of the entire Sheldon family who are employed by the Traditional Values Coalition and its various camouflage organizations nationwide.


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Paul Weyrich, head of the Free Congress Foundation


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Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a speaker at "Love Won Out" "reparative therapy" christohet supremacy conferences, and president of the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), which has been rupudiated by virtually the entire psychological and medical community.


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R.J. Rooney, Jr., prolific propagandist
Email: rjrooney@afo.net
Verona United Methodist Church

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J.C. Watts, legislator from Oklahoma

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Patrick Kennedy, assistant pastor, First Baptist Church of North East
Church address: 43 South Lake St, North East, Pennsylvania 16428
Church phone: 814-725-4698

In case you haven't heard of this proudly supremacist christohet, on two recent occasions he thought it was a good idea to seriously warn the members of his church and the entire community against letting their teens patronize a lesbian-owned local restaurant which also functions occasionally as a teen dance club. His warnings were based on false Internet rumors about "gay" activity taking place there, like same-gender hand-holding by adults in the restaurant during dinner. Business was hurt dramatically, but fortunately some members of the town came to the support of the restaurant/club.

Patrick Kennedy's main warning was that Queers were going to try to "recruit" the town's heterosexual teenagers to homosexuality. Especially in a small town in rural Pennsylvania, this is an effective method to frighten the other christohet supremacists and increase donations to fight non-existent enemies.


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Hop to Top | Commentary index | Protests | News

Jim Savage
An Army of One
 
The most douchetastic thing I've ever seen:

_1969118_ozzy_2_150afp.jpg

Ozzy enjoying himself at President Bush's "roast" the other night.

P.S. Spiderman broke Harry Potters opening weekend box office record w/ totals upwards of $114 million.

------------------
Rock 'N Roll is the sound of revenge.
 
Since we are all in the Graduation spirit at this moment, I will bestow upon you a bit of wisdom from one of the greatest thinkers of our generation as we walk down the tulip laden grotto avenue.

L.Unplugged

Conan's Address 2000
I'd like to begin by thanking the class marshals for inviting me here today. The last time I was invited to Harvard it cost me $110,000. So I was reluctant to show up. I'm going to start before I really begin by announcing my one goal this afternoon. I want to be half as funny as tomorrow's Commencement speaker, moral philosopher and economist Amartya Sen. That's the job. Must get more laughs than seminal wage-price theoretician. By the way, enjoy that. Bring a calculator. It's going to be a nerd fest.
Students of the Harvard class of 2000, 15 years ago I sat where you sit now. And I thought exactly what you are now thinking. What's going to happen to me? Will I find my place in the world? Am I really graduating a virgin? Still have 24 hours. Roommate's mom very hot. Swear she's checking me out. There was that Rob Lowe movie.
Being here today, on a sincere note, is very special for me. I do miss this place. I especially miss Harvard Square. Let me tell you, you don't know this, Harvard Square is extremely unique. Nowhere else in the world will you find a man wearing a turban and a Red Sox jacket working in a lesbian bookstore. I'm just glad my dad's working.
It's particularly sweet for me to be here today because--this is true--when I graduated I wanted very badly to be a Class Day speaker. Unfortunately, my speech was rejected. So if you'll indulge me I'd like to read a portion of that speech. This is the actual speech from 15 years ago. "Fellow students, as we sit here today listening to that classic A-ha tune which will definitely stand the test of time, I would like to make several predictions about what the future will hold. I believe that one day a simple governor from a small southern state will rise to the highest office in the land. He will lack political skill, but will lead on the sheer strength of his moral authority. I believe that justice will prevail and one day the Berlin Wall will crumble, uniting East and West Berlin forever under Communist rule. I believe that one day a high-speed network of interconnected computers will spring up worldwide, so enriching people that they will lose their interest in idle chitchat and pornography. And finally, I believe that one day I will have a television show on a major network seen by millions of people at night which I will use to reenact crimes and and help catch at-large criminals." Then I had a section on the death of Wall Street, but you don't need to hear about that.
The point is that although you see me as a celebrity, a member of the cultural elite, a demigod if you will, and potential husband material, I came here in the fall of 1981 and lived at Holworthy Hall as a student much like you. I was, without exaggeration--this is true--the ugliest picture in the freshman facebook. When Harvard asked me for a picture the previous summer, I thought it was for their records, so I jogged in the August heat to a passport photo office and sat for a morgue shot. To make matters worse, when the facebook came out, they put my picture right next to Catherine Oxenberg, a stunning blonde actress who was expected to join the class of '85, but decided to defer admission so she could join the cast of Dynasty. Folks, my photo would have looked bad on any page, but next to Catherine Oxenberg, I looked like a mackerel that had been in a car accident.
You see, in those days, I was 6 feet 4 inches tall and I weighed 150 pounds. True. Recently, I had some structural engineers run those numbers into a computer model, and according to the computer, I collapsed in 1987, killing hundreds in Taiwan.
After freshman year, I moved to Mather House. Mather House, incidentally, was designed by the same firm that built Hitler's bunker. In fact, if Hitler had conducted the war from Mather House, he would have shot himself a year earlier. Saved us a lot of trouble.
1985 seems like a long time ago now. When I had my Class Day, you students would have been seven years old. Seven years old! You realize what that means? Back then I could have beaten any of you in a fight. And I mean really badly. Like no contest at all. If anyone here has a time machine, seriously, I will kick your seven-year-old butt right now.
A lot has happened in 15 years though. When you think about it, we come from completely different worlds. When I graduated in 1985, we watched movies starring Tom Cruise and listened to music by Madonna. I come from a time when we huddled around the TV set and watched the Cosby Show on NBC, never imagining that there would one day be a show called Cosby on CBS. In 1985 we drove cars with driver's-side air bags. But if you had told us that one day there would be passenger-side air bags, we'd have burned you for witchcraft.
Of course I think there is some common ground between us. I remember well the great uncertainty of this day, the anxiety. Many of you are justifiably nervous about leaving the safe, comfortable world of Harvard Yard and hurling yourself headlong into the cold, harsh world of Harvard grad school, a plum job in your father's firm, or a year abroad with a gold Amex card and then a plum job at your father's firm. Let me assure you that the knowledge you gained here at Harvard is a precious gift that will never leave you. Take it from me, your education is yours to keep forever. Why, many of you have read the Merchant of Florence, and that will inspire you when you travel to the island of Spain. Your knowledge of that problem they had with those people in Russia, or that guy in South America--you know, the guy--will be with you for the rest of your life.
There's also sadness today. A feeling of loss that you're leaving Harvard forever. Let me assure you that you never really leave Harvard. The Harvard fundraising committee will be on your ass until the day you die.
This is true. I know for a fact that right now a member of the alumni association is at the Mount Auburn Cemetery shaking down the corpse of Henry Adams. They heard he has a brass toe ring and they aim to get it. These people just raised $2.5 billion and they only got through the Bs in the alumni directory. Here's basically how it works. Your phone rings, usually after a big meal when you're tired and most vulnerable, and a voice asks you for money. Knowing--you've read in the paper--that they just raised $2.5 billion, you ask, "What do you need it for?" There is a long pause, and the voice on the other end of the line says, "We don't need it, we just want it." (Sinister laugh).
Let me see--by your applause--Who here wrote a thesis? That's nice. A lot of hard work went into that thesis. And no one is ever going to care. I wrote a thesis--this is true, I don't lie--"Literary Progeria in the Works of Flannery O'Connor and William Faulkner." Let's just say that during my discussions with Pauly Shore, it doesn't come up much. For three years after graduation I wanted to show it to everyone, and so I kept my thesis in the glove compartment of my car, so that I could show it to a policeman in case I was pulled over.
What else can you expect in the real world? Let me tell you. As you leave these gates and re-enter society, one thing is certain. Everyone out there is going to hate you. Never tell anyone in a roadside diner that you went to Harvard. In those situations, the correct response to, "Where did you go to school?" is "School? I never had much in the way of book learnin' and such." And then get in your BMW and get the hell out of there. Go.
You see, kids, you're in for a lifetime of "And you went to Harvard?" Accidentally give the wrong amount of change in a transaction, and it's "And you went to Harvard?" Ask at the hardware store how the jumper cables work, and hear "And you went to Harvard?" Forget just once that your underwear goes inside your pants, and it's "And you went to Harvard?" Get your head stuck in your niece's doll house 'cause you want to see what it's like to be a giant, and it's "Uncle Conan, you went to Harvard?"
So you really know what's in store for you after Harvard, I have to tell you what happened to me after graduation. I'm going to tell it simply, I'm going to tell it honestly, because, first of all, I think my perspective may give many of you hope, and, secondly, it's such a cool, amazing rush to be in front of 6,000 people and just talk about yourself. It's just great. It's so cool. And I can take my time. You see, kids, after graduating in May, I moved to Los Angeles. I got a three-week contract at a small cable show. I got a $380-a-month apartment, a terrible dump, and I bought a 1977 Isuzu Opal, a car Isuzu only manufactured for a year because they found out that technically it's not a car. Quick tip, graduates--no four-cylinder used vehicle should have a racing stripe.
So I worked on that show for about a year, feeling pretty good about myself, when one day they told me that they were letting me go. I was fired. I hadn't saved any money. So I tried to get another job in television as best I could and couldn't find one. So with nowhere else to turn--true story--I went to a temp agency and filled out a questionnaire. I made damn sure that they knew I had been to Harvard, that I had written this thesis, and that I expected the very best treatment. And so the next day I was sent to the Santa Monica branch of Wilson's House of Suede and Leather.
When you have a Harvard degree, and you are working at Wilson's House of Suede and Leather, you are haunted by the ghostly images of your classmates who chose graduate school. You see their faces everywhere--in coffee cups, in fish tanks, you think you're going crazy, and they're always laughing at you as you stack suede shirts no man in good conscience would ever wear.
I tried a lot of things during this period. Acting in corporate infomercials. Serving drinks in a nonequity theater. I even took a job entertaining at a seven year-old's birthday party. In desperate need of work, I put together some sketches and scored a job at the fledgling Fox network as a writer and performer for a brainy show called the "Wilton North Report." I was finally on a network and really excited. The producer told me the show was going to revolutionize television. And, in a way it did. The show was so hated and did so badly that when four weeks later news of its cancellation was announced to the Fox affiliates, they burst into spontaneous applause.
Eventually, though, I got a big break. I had submitted along with my writing partner a batch of sketches to Saturday Night Live, and after a year and a half they read it, and they gave us a two-week tryout. The two weeks turned into two seasons, and I felt, hey, this is success, I'm successful now. Successful enough to write a TV pilot for an original sitcom. When the network decided to make it, feeling good, I left Saturday Night Live.
This TV show was going to be groundbreaking. It was going to resurrect the career of TV's Batman, Adam West. It was going to be a comedy without a laugh track or a studio audience. It was going to change all the rules. And here's what happened. When the pilot aired, it was the second-lowest-rated television show of all time. It is actually tied with a test pattern they show up in Nova Scotia. So I was 28 and, once again, no job. I had good writing credits in New York, but I was filled with disappointment and I had no idea what I was going to do next. And that is when the Simpsons saved my life. I got a job there and started writing episodes about Springfield getting a monorail or Homer going to college. I was finally putting my Harvard education to good use--writing dialogue for a man who is so stupid that in one episode he forgot to make his own heart beat. Life was good.
And then an insane, inexplicable opportunity came my way, a chance to audition for host of the new "Late Night" show. I took the opportunity very seriously, but at the time--I have to be honest--I had the relaxed confidence of someone who knew he had no real shot, so I couldn't fear losing a great job that I could never hope to have. And I think that actually that attitude made the difference.
I will never forget being in the Simpsons recording basement that morning when the phone rang. It was for me. My car was blocking a firelane. But a week later I got another call and got the job. So this, finally, was undeniably it. The truly life-altering break that I had always dreamed of. And so I went to work. I gathered all my funny friends and poured all my years of comedy experience into building the show over the summer. I gathered the talent, figured out the sensibility, found Max, found Andy, found my people. We debuted on September 13, 1993, and I was really happy, really happy, with our effort. I felt like I had seized the moment, that I had put my very best foot forward.
And this was what the most respected and widely read television critic, Tom Shales, wrote in the Washington Post. "O'Brien is a living collage of annoying nervous habits. He giggles and jiggles about and fiddles with his cuffs. He has dark, beady little eyes like a rabbit. He is one of the whitest white men ever. O'Brien is a switch on the guest who won't leave: he's the host who should never have come. Let the Late Show with Conan O'Brien become the late Late Show, and may the host return to whence he came." There's more, but it gets kind of mean.
Needless to say, I took a lot of criticism, some of it deserved, some of it excessive, and, to be honest with you, it hurt like you would not believe. But I'm telling you all this for a reason. I've had a lot of success. I've had a lot of failure. I've looked good. I've looked bad. I've been praised. And I've been criticized. But my mistakes have been necessary. I've dwelled on my failures today because, as graduates of Harvard, your biggest liability is your need to succeed, your need to always find yourself on the sweet side of the bell curve. Success is a lot like a bright white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you're desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it.
I left the cocoon of Harvard, I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live, I left the cocoon of the Simpsons. And each time it was bruising and tumultuous. And yet every failure was freeing, and today I'm as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good. So that's what I wish for all of you--the bad as well as the good. Fall down. Make a mess. Break something occasionally. Know that your mistakes are your own unique way of getting to where you need to be. And remember that the story is never over.
If you'll indulge me for just a second, I'd like to read a little something from just this year. "Somehow, Conan O'Brien has transformed himself into the brightest star in the late-night firmament. His comedy is the gold standard, and Conan himself is not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation, but quite possibly the greatest host ever."
Ladies and gentlemen, class of 2000, I wrote that this morning. As proof that when all else fails, you always have delusion. I will go now to make bigger mistakes and to embarrass this fine institution even more. But let me leave you with one last thought. If you can laugh at yourself, loud and hard, every time you fall, people will think you're drunk. Thank you.
 
Hahaha.. What a Joke.. This is like getting paid to wipe your ass.

L.Unplugged

Philly Inquirer
Posted on Wed, May. 22, 2002

Reducing scout's stress is worthy of merit badge
By Nicole C. Wong
Knight Ridder News Service




The "Stress Less" badge is meant to help girls cope with pressure.


SAN JOSE, Calif. - After spending the last two months selling nearly 500 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, 11-year-old Jennifer Brown is ready to unwind at a spa.

And these days, finding ways to ease stress can earn the Santa Clara, Calif., sixth grader a Junior Girl Scout merit badge.

Launched nationally in September, the "Stress Less" badge is designed to help girls cope with the pressure-cooker conditions confronting even young children today, and it's quickly becoming popular in fast-paced Silicon Valley.

Preteen girls from Santa Clara to Redwood City are indulging in foot massages and aromatherapy - and even swapping Britney Spears CDs for the soothing "Sounds of the Rain Forest."

The 90-year-old Girl Scouts of the United States of America - which once had badges for "Matron Housekeeper" and "Dairy Maid" - prides itself on keeping up with the changing times. While revamping its collection of 105 badges to include rock climbing and international diplomacy, the organization also realized that the stress-reduction badge already on the list for the older Girl Scouts needed to be offered to the 8- to 11-year-olds in Junior Girl Scouts.

The national organization doesn't keep track of how many Juniors are earning the badge. But parents and child psychologists who are seeing more overstressed children are applauding, saying it complements other attempts to help kids handle pressure at younger and younger ages. Some elementary schools already teach students conflict resolution, and more middle schools are weaving stress management skills into the curriculum.

Children today face big demands. Girls who haven't even reached puberty may already worry that their physical beauty does not rival that of the slim women in glossy magazines. In the schoolyard, there are catcalls and cliques. There might not be much help at home, either, as some parents spend more time nurturing their careers than their children - especially amid the threat of layoffs.

And for some children, it's the schedule.

Nine-year-old Claire Troussieux is a Redwood City, Calif., fourth grader now, but her planner was jam-packed by second grade: year-round swimming and fall soccer practice on Mondays; Junior Girl Scouts on Tuesdays; French lessons and more swim practice on Wednesdays; winter basketball practice on Thursdays; and swimming again on Fridays.

And that didn't even count homework.

At the beginning of this school year, Claire told her parents she needed a lighter load.

Her mother, Ann Troussieux, was a bit surprised at first. After all, Troussieux, who has two children, had completed her master's degree in business while working as a software company executive. Later, she juggled a job while cowriting a book and coproducing a video about helping girls achieve more in school and life by getting them involved in sports.

But when Claire wanted to drop swimming, she agreed.

"I was so glad she was able to make the call," Ann Troussieux said. "I realize I like a much busier schedule than she does."

Claire earned her stress-reduction merit badge by smoothing peach-scented lotion on her hands, keeping a journal of her happy and sad moments, meditating in a yoga position, burning an ocean-scented candle, dancing around the room to upbeat music, and analyzing her daily schedule. To help her mother relax, Claire gave her a creamy avocado facial and a back rub.

"Now I know what to do if I'm stressed out," Claire said.

In the Bay Area, the hectic lifestyles of the Troussieuxes are typical. "Learning to relax doesn't come easy," said Alicia McLucas, the Redwood City mother who made the Stress Less badge a priority for Troop 2182. "You can go crazy living in the Bay Area. A lot of parents could use this, too."

Child psychologist Sharon Post said parents need to ratchet back a bit.

"The baby boomers want to give their kids everything and have their kids be in everything: soccer, swimming, piano," said Post, a psychologist with the Associated Counselors of Silicon Valley. The overloaded children may feel there "just isn't a lot of joy in the accomplishment. There's more pressure."

Eleven-year-old Wendy Gregg, who along with Jennifer is in Santa Clara/Sunnyvale Troop 459, felt so overwhelmed earlier this year that she experienced regular panic attacks. Her mother pulled her out of school in February and has been home-schooling her since then.

Wendy is much more relaxed now, says her mother, Jenny Gregg, thanks in part to morning tai chi and an occasional spritz of lavender room spray - the aromatherapy scent that's touted for its calming power. The sixth grader also unwinds by watching I Love Lucy episodes on videotape.

"It was so wonderful to hear her laughing," said Jenny Gregg, who gave the comic videos as a gift to her daughter. "I hadn't heard her laugh in so long."

Gregg, a Junior Girl Scout leader, thought the other girls in Troop 459 needed to relax, too. She noticed that preteens now face pressures she and other mothers did not experience until at least high school.

To earn the badge, the troop spiced up the official list of activities, which suggests, among other things, reading a book and running up and down a staircase. The girls of Troop 459 earned their Stress Less badges by doing deep-breathing exercises, rubbing worry stones, talking to a psychologist, and making stress squeeze balls.

And they plan to spend their profits from Girl Scout cookie sales on a day at the spa.

"This is the best badge that we've been able to do the entire time I've been a Girl Scout leader," said Bev Gray, a former Girl Scout who has headed Troop 459 with Gregg for five years. "Many of the badges are fun. But this one truly met needs."

The Junior Girl Scouts were rewarded with a badge embroidered with a swinging hammock. But the girls had trouble affixing the badges to their clover-green uniforms because, well, they don't know how to sew. Some stuck their badges on with masking tape. Others handed the needle and thread to moms who earned the Sewing merit badge when they were scouts.

Still, the girls of Troop 459 are so enthusiastic about earning the badge they want to pass along the stress-relieving techniques to their younger counterparts, third-grade Brownies.

But, quite frankly, sharing the wisdom is a little stressful, too.

"I'm kind of scared of doing it," said Gwen Leong, 12, "because I'm not a leadership person."

Ah, time for a lavender-scented bubble bath.
 
The Wisdom of the Living Force

Author: Paul F. McDonald
Published on: May 6, 2002
Related Subject(s): Not Indexed







There is an ancient saying from the East which states "he who thinks he knows, doesn't know - he who knows he doesn't know, knows."
Some might think one who goes around saying such things is simply being cute or coy. But there is something to be said for this. After all, this is the Information Age, and every age needs a counterpoint. With this in mind, we can turn to the refreshing idea of the Living Force, which has at its root not-knowing.

The concept of the Force is one of the richest in Star Wars. It is defined as a mystical energy field that is generated by the act of living itself, and its flow serves to penetrate the very fabric of the galaxy, binding everything together. Certain beings can even attune themselves with it, and their direction of its energies manifest in the twin potentialities of the light and dark sides.

In the first of the prequels, The Phantom Menace, the Force is opened up to even more interpretation. Two more aspects of the one energy are developed, one being the Unifying Force, and the other being the Living. According to creator George Lucas, the former has to do with destiny and purpose, while the latter involves intuition, spontaneity, and empathy with all living creatures. Though the Jedi Council emphasizes the Unifying Force, others such as Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn champion the Living, and this article deals with why this is so.

To begin with, the Living Force is first and foremost about being in the present moment. This sounds like a simple thing, yet it is anything but. Just as Yoda criticizes Luke Skywalker for, we too spend most of our lives everywhere by where we actually are, anxiously peeking over time's shoulders, trying to get a glimpse of the future. Of course, just as a horizon will recede when one attempts to chase it down, so will the future get farther and farther away, which is no doubt why even the Jedi cannot accurately predict it.

At the beginning of The Phantom Menace, Qui-Gon instructs his Padawan learner, a certain Obi-Wan Kenobi, to "keep [his] concentration here and now, where it belongs." This is sound advice, and not just for Jedi apprentices. A person incapable of living in the present is not really living at all. Yet so much of our time is spent actively doing and planning, we are not very good at simply being. In contrast, the Jedi talk about learning to quiet the mind, because once one does this, the world looks incredibly interesting, with previously unseen levels of texture and resonance.

It is unfortunate that religion is often used in much the same way as a carrot perpetually dangling in front of a donkey in order to get him to pull a heavy cart. It is built on the promise of future reward. Yet another just as valid way of experiencing the spiritual life is to realize the true bliss that is right now. Along these lines, the Zen poet Wu-men Hui-K'ai proclaimed that "one instant is eternity; eternity is the now." And this is the essence of the Living Force.

From this point of view, the normally sharp division between the natural world and the supernatural one is blunted. Quite simply, just as the philosophy of Zen has been defined as your "everyday mind," the Jedi Masters who follow the Living Force live in the real world. This is very apparent with Qui-Gon, who looks quite at home in the quaint Skywalker hovel on Tatooine, and spends a lot of time with his hands on someone's shoulders, constantly reaching out to everyone around him. Such mystics are far from otherworldly or untouchable.

It is interesting that the midichlorians - the cellular life forms that act as conduits of the Force - caused such a controversy. Many fans argued that they reduced the spiritual side of the saga to mere biology. But what's wrong with biology? In the real world, matter and energy are two sides of the same thing. And after all, since the physical world creates the Force, it only makes sense it would be inseparable from it. It all really depends on perspective. For instance, medieval religious art in Europe usually features otherworldly scenes of heavens and angels, yet Asian religious art by Chinese painters simply features pictures of trees and mountains. In the latter, matter and spirit are not totally distinct.

The very phrase "Living Force" connotes an organic process, something that changes and grows alongside nature rather than in opposition to it. As such, it belongs to an order of intelligence, of instinctual wisdom, that is often overlooked. There are really two kinds of intelligence, and in India, they have different names in Sanskrit. One is "manomayakosha," and it is the rational, self-conscious intellect. This is the intellect that gets an education, builds buildings, runs companies, and plans for retirement. The other is "vijnanamayakosha," and it is the non-linear, intuitive intellect. Sometimes known as the "unborn mind," this grows grass, shapes rivers, and digests food. It is the ancient, unconscious wisdom that grows and individuates the entire universe but has no idea how it does so, much like the average person has no idea how they beat their heart or circulate their blood.

When the Jedi begin to "unlearn what [they] have learned" and realize all conceptual differences are "only different in [their] mind," that is the intelligence they are coming into contact with. The Living Force cannot be thought of as an entity or thing, but rather as a natural process. It can only manifest when it is allowed to flow freely, just as an oak tree can only grow out in the open. Each are profound patterns of energy and intellect.

When Walt Whitman wrote of nature, he spoke not of divine commandments, but rather of "living impulses." That's what the Living Force is. It's an experience rather than a belief. The emphasis the Jedi put on the energy field is that one must actually "feel" its flow. Yet the only way one can do this is by not actively trying to grasp it. Only when Luke "lets go" during the trench run does he succeed in blowing up the Death Star.

The philosophy of not letting go and trying to control everything is the philosophy of the Empire. Lucas has admitted that this is the very thing that turns Anakin into Darth Vader. Clinging to things doesn't work. As Princess Leia points out to her Imperial captor in A New Hope, "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." This is a genuine principle of life. Trying to bring the entire galaxy under conscious, Imperial control is like trying to breathe by strangling yourself. In contrast to this is the life of faith, a life that's very trademark is trust in unnamed instinctual forces.

In a great lecture on Zen, Alan Watts noted that the "universe is like water." The moment one lets go and has faith in life, the natural bouyancy instantly holds them up. In contrast, to struggle is to drown. The Living Force acts in precisely the same manner. So much like in Zen, it is essentially the art of getting out of one's own way.

"Let go your conscious self," Obi-Wan advises Luke during his first lightsaber lesson, "And act on instinct." This Jedi philosophy is about removing all words and concepts from one's mind, so that life can be experienced directly, in the middle of its flow. When one stops thinking, and stops "knowing," the world is renewed, and every moment becomes an act of creation.
 
Ah, Yes, the glorious speech of Senator Emeritus Tim Russert was a grandly formal farewell as I left the monotonous tones of Monk Malloy, his famed quotes "It's an Honor to be a Part of This Very Special Day".. of which my brother does a tear jerking impersonation.. And a Nice Guinness on the roof of my friend's house on Bulla was a fitting au revoir to the more underground, or.. less Holy Cross Aura of ND.

L.Unplugged
 
Yes S.F. It is grad school for me, then maybe a narrowing program after that hopefully... Here is the Valedictory Speech, from quite possibly one of the biggest tools on campus, but undoubtedly one of the biggest ND lovers.

I give you Tim Dolezal

L.Unplugged


May 19

Father Malloy, Mr. Russert, distinguished guests, faculty, family, friends, and fellow members of the Class of 2002:

One thousand three hundred sixty-seven days ago we unpacked our suitcases and celebrated our first official day as Notre Dame students. We gather on this beautiful Sunday afternoon to celebrate our last day and all the wonders in between. Much has happened to us since that steamy August morning in 1998, so it is fitting to take a moment to reflect on our Notre Dame experience. In doing so, my first inclination as a finance major is to offer a quantitative sketch of the past four years. According to my estimates and calculations, the Class of 2002 has aggregately taken more than 175,000 exams and written in excess of 700,000 pages of text. We have enjoyed 25 home football weekends, assembled more than 500 bookstore basketball teams, and fought more than 100 matches in the Bengal Bouts. In the past four years we have celebrated more than 3,600 Sunday dorm masses, participated in more than 80 retreats, and lit approximately 70,000 grotto candles ? which we always pay for by the way. Our class has volunteered in hundreds of seminars through the Center for Social Concerns. We have hosted approximately 250 dorm dances and spent around $2.7 million in flex points.

These are obviously just a few statistics, but we all know that the vast majority of our Notre Dame experience cannot be quantified. While we can easily tally up the hours spent studying for an exam, we cannot measure the satisfaction that stems from working hard and acquiring knowledge. Rebounds and assists are easy to count, but they do not describe the feeling of exhilaration that comes from a women's basketball national championship. We can estimate the amount of physical damage from the September 11 tragedy, but we cannot enumerate the sympathy and grief shared by 7,000 people at a mass on the South Quad. We can compile of list of our best friends here, but we cannot place a value on their willingness to help us through our heartbreaks. We can count the number of days spent under the Golden Dome, but we cannot determine the exact point in time when Notre Dame evolved from simply being our school to being our home. Intangibles truly define the Notre Dame experience ? memories that cannot be associated with a finite number. These memories include heated bedtime debates with roommates, dining hall meals with a table full of buddies, late-night cramming sessions with study partners, hard-fought interhall games, dancing at the Linebacker, prayer time at the grotto, walks around the lakes ? and most of all ?meaningful relationships.

Reflecting on these special memories, it is not difficult to realize how much we love Notre Dame and how blessed our four years have been. As a result, I can see how we might be tempted to march directly to the South Quad, sew our gowns together, pitch a tent, and attempt to live with our friends forever. Unfortunately, Du Lac states that we need to submit a waiver for that, and we missed the deadline.

So, our time has come. As much as we would love to live this forever, our time has come. And, this is a good thing. Our Notre Dame experience is a gift that is meant to be used for the benefit of the world not hoarded for us. This desire to cling to Notre Dame reminds me of the Transfiguration of Jesus. Peter, James, and John were on top of the mountain with Jesus, undergoing arguably the most profound experience of their lives to that point. Once Jesus was transfigured in the presence of Moses, Elijah, and God the Father, Peter had an idea that should sound familiar. He suggested pitching three tents on the mountaintop ?one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah. If you will allow an exegesis from an amateur theologian, I think that Peter in a sense wanted to capture the moment and preserve it forever. But God had a different plan for the three apostles. Instead, they were supposed to climb down the mountain ? with Jesus at their side. Once they returned to the world, they seemed to direct the energy from their experience into spreading the Word and ministering to others.

Like the apostles, we must determine how to best channel our Notre Dame experience and share it with the world. I believe our first objective should be to build our sense of community wherever we go. Having spent four years on this campus, I think we are blessed with an understanding of community. Simply put, Notre Dame is a place where people truly care about you. If we want to re-create this environment, we must put forth the effort to truly know other people and allow them to truly know us. This is often more difficult than it seems. We need to give others our full attention, which is not always easy in our fast-paced society. We also need to let go of our own hidden imperfections, which is equally challenging.

On the other hand, there is not one arena that we will occupy next year ? graduate school, the workplace, the military, or direct service ? where building community is impossible. All we have to do is make the effort. Invite the quiet person in the back of your anatomy class out for a cup of coffee. Share a meal with the family whose house you are building. Get to know the newly enlisted and share with them some experiences of military training. Talk to the analysts in the nearby cubicles about your family and theirs. And, while you are developing these intimate relationships and a sense of community, there is one more thing to remember. I know this from experience. The more you know about a person, the easier it is to brainwash them about Notre Dame football.

I think we also have a moral obligation as Notre Dame graduates to serve those in need both domestically and around the world. Such has been a hallmark of Notre Dame's mission since day one. In 1842, the University's first year, Father Sorin sent Father Moreau a letter containing his vision for Notre Dame. Sorin wrote, "[Notre Dame] will become one of the most powerful means for good in this country." I think Father Sorin's notion of "good" included service to the poor and needy.

But I also think that each of us is called to serve in his or her own way. Some of us have a natural vocation for direct service to the poor ?building houses, providing medical treatment, or teaching. Others possess administrative talents that should be used for organization and mobilization. Some are gifted speakers and writers and are meant to inform and motivate. Some are intended to provide the financial resources for all of these activities. But no matter where your aptitudes fall, we all have a duty to use our God-given talents and the skills we have learned at Notre Dame to help those that need us most. To paraphrase the renowned theologian Henri Nouwen during the dedication of the Center for Social Concerns: Catholic education is only real when the talents that are developed are not directed to the acquisition of more power, more success, or more influence, but are directed to serve those who have less power and less influence than we have.

I believe that at the end of our lives, we are going to come face to face with our Creator. On that day, I do not think that God is going to ask us for a bunch of quantitative statistics. We will not hear questions like "How high was your G.P.A.?" or "How many awards did you win at graduation?" God is not going to ask us how many articles we published, how many court cases we won or lost, or how large of a return we gained for our investors. God is not going to ask how much money we made or how many times we had our name in the paper. In my opinion God is going to ask two simple questions. First, "Do you love me?" And, second, "What did you do for my people?" If we devote all our energy to answering those two questions, we will be living our Notre Dame experience to its fullest potential.

May Notre Dame Our Mother be twice on our minds and always in our hearts. And may God always bless you and hold you close. Thank you.
 
Here's Russert's Commencement Speech, In his last statement he pulled out a ND football jersey with the number 25 on it...

It was good, especially the part about the ravenous and ignorant ridden Media.

L.Unplugged

T. Russert Graduation Speech May 19 2002

Father Malloy, distinguished honorees, distinguished guests and the Class of 2002. Before all else ? congratualations! You finally made it.

Let me be honest with you about my experiences with commencement addresses. I've been through several of my own and I've sat through dozens of others. And I can't recall a single word or phrase from any of those informed, inspirational and seemingly interminable addresses.

In preparing for today, I had thought about presenting a scholarly treatise on campaign finance reform ? but I thought better of it.

I guess I'm like that noted philosopher...Yogi Berra...I get it eventually...after Yogi had flunked his exam...his teacher came down the aisle, shook him and said "Don't you know anything." Yogi looked up and said, "I don't even suspect anything." Yes, this is the same Yogi Berra who when asked whether he wanted his pizza cut into six slices or eight replied "Six. I couldn't eat eight."

This is the second most humbling day of my life. The first was in 1985. I was granted an extraordinary opportunity ? a private audience with the Holy Father.

I'll never forget it. The door open ? and there was the Pope?dressed in white. He walked solemnly into the room at that time it seemed as large as the Joyce Center. I was there to convince His Holiness it was in his interest to appear on the Today show. But my thoughts soon turned away from Bryant Gumbel's career and NBC's rating toward the prospect of salvation. As the Vicar of Christ approached me, you heard this tough, no-nonsense hard-hitting Moderator of Meet the Press begin our conversation by saying, "Bless me Father!" He took my arm and whispered "you are the one called Timothy from NBC. They tell me you are a very important man."

Somewhat taken aback, I said, "Your Holiness, with all due respect, there are only two of us in this room, and I am certainly a distant second."

He put his hands on my shoulder...looked me in the eye...and said..."Right."

In that humble spirit may a respectful servant in the laity of the Church I love offer a serious observation. I believe it is imperative when our Bishops meet next month in Dallas they work tirelessly to bring about a healing and reconciliation with all those who have been harmed and they adopt specific and enforceable measures that ensure the illegal and immoral abuse of our young will never be tolerated by our Church again.

It's not often you have a chance to meet and talk with people who share the same background and values.

So let me skip the temptation of lecturing you.

Instead, let me take just a few minutes to have a conversation with you.

Like each of you, my life changed forever on September 11, 2001 at 8:46 a.m.

The English language does not include the words we need to express our sorrow for what happened on that day. Only in our hearts can we give full and complete expression of our grief and the shocking sense of personal loss...and the agony of seeing our nation so violated.

My dad was a truck driver and a sanitation man?He worked two full-time jobs for 37 years...and he never complained?and that was after he helped win WWII. That is the story of his generation...He never graduated from high school...but he taught me more by his example...by his hard work...by his basic decency...his intense love of family and country...he indeed taught me the true lessons of life.

And these lessons have sustained me since September 11.

Simply put, there are those who want to destroy us...our people...men, women, our children...our institutions...our way of life...our very freedoms.

For the media, war on terrorism should not be analogous to reporting the Florida recount or a presidential impeachment or a missing intern. When covering military operations, the media should lower our voices and modulate our tone. We may be journalists, but we are also American citizens.

Indeed the press and the government will have serious disagreements over what is fair and timely and relevant news coverage, even how to define "national security." And good journalism should also report and respect the legitimacy of dissent to government policy. But we must never report anything, which puts our troops at risk, and we must always reject any attempt to suggest a moral equivalency between the United States of American and the terrorists.

As a young boy, I remember so vividly President John Fitzgerald Kennedy's stirring Inaugural Address:

"Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans...Let every nation know?whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty."

Those words are as timely today as they were 41 years ago. President Kennedy concluded his address this way. "With history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking this blessing and His help, but knowing here on earth God's work must truly be our own."

What is God's work here on earth?

Understanding that is I believe the key to a meaningful life ? the essence of our earthly existence. Your Notre Dame Mission Statement describes it this way: "There is an intelligibility and a coherence to all reality, discoverable through spirit, mind and imagination. God's grace prompts human activity to assist the world in creating justice grounded in love."

I am the first person in my family to have the chance to go to college. I attended John Carroll University ?a Jesuit school where I received a superb education.

And so, too, with you. You chose a school that was different and you made the choice deliberately.

The education you've received at Notre Dame isn't meant to be the same as you could have received at a score of colleges ?public and private ?across this country.

You've been given an education that says it's not enough to have a skill. Not enough to have read all the books or know all the facts. Values really do matter.

The University of Notre Dame...A Catholic university founded by the Congregation of the Holy Cross.

It's only justification for existing is because it has a special mission ?training young men and women to help shape and influence the moral tone and fiber of our nation and our society. And that means you now have a special obligation and responsibility. You have been blessed with extraordinary opportunities?and, St. Luke tells us, "to whom much is given ?much indeed is expected."

Graduating from Notre Dame has given you incredible advantageous over others in your generation.

Yes ?I, too, have heard the sometimes smug remarks about non-eastern or Catholic colleges.

You think you've had it bad. You should try being a Buffalo Bills fan in Washington! I actually took Meet the Press to the Super Bowl a few years back. At the end of the program, I looked into the camera and said, "It's now in God's hands. And God is good. And God is just. Please God, one time. Go Bills!

My colleague, Tom Brokaw jumped up and said, "You Irish Catholics from South Buffalo are shameless! You can't pray on national television."

Well as I moped back from the stadium after the Cowboys slipped by the Bills 38-18. The first person I saw was Brokaw ?He yelled across the room, "Hey Russert, I guess God is a Southern Baptist."

You have something others would give most anything for!

You believe in something?in your God, in your country, in your school, in your family, in yourself, in your values.

Remember the message our parents and grandparents and teachers repeated and repeated?and instilled in us.

A belief if you worked hard and played fair, things really would turn out all right.

And after working for Senators and Governors, meeting Popes and interviewing Presidents ?I think they are right.

Will Rogers put it this way, "It sure seems funny?the older I get the smarter my mother and father seems to get."

The values you have been taught, the struggles you have survived, the diploma you are about to receive, have prepared you to compete with anybody, anywhere.

Reject the conventional wisdom that success is only for the very rich or very privilege or Ivy-League-educated.

Don't believe it. I didn't. Because people with real values have a way of helping and teaching and connecting with one another.

People with backgrounds like yours and mine can and will make a difference.

In Poland, it was a young electrician named Lech Walesa, the son of a carpenter, who transformed a nation from communism to democracy.

In South Africa, Nelson Mandela...former President Nelson Mandela...a brave black man who worked his way through law school as a police officer, spent 28 years in jail to make one central point?we are all created equal.

And on September 11, at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon it was our brother and sister police, and fire and rescue workers who properly redefined modern day heroism.

All these men and women have one thing in common with you ?Like the past, the future leaders of this country and this world will not be born to the blood of kings, but to the blood of immigrants and pioneers.

It is now your turn. You will now have the opportunity to be doctors, nurses, lawyers, bankers, accountants, social workers, soldiers, journalists, entrepreneurs, businesspeople, teachers and more. And in those vital professions, your contributions can be enormous. You can help save lives, provide prosperity, record history, prevent disease, train young minds. You will make a difference if you only accept the simple fact that your family and education and values have prepared you for this challenge as well as anyone in this country.

It is our grandparents...and your parents...who defended this country...who built this country...who brought you into this world and a chance to live the American dream. Will your generation do as much for your children?

You know you must. Every generation will be tested...and given the opportunity to be the "greatest generation."

And so, too, with the University of Notre Dame graduates of 2002. You were born and education to be players in this extraordinary blessing called life.

Go climb that ladder of success and work and live in comfort. And enjoy yourself. You've earned it. And that is the American way.

But please do this world one small favor.

Remember the people struggling along side you and below you. The people who haven't had the same opportunity, the same blessings, the same Notre Dame education.

Twelve children a day are shot dead in the streets of America...more have died from bullets the past 15 years than we lost in the Vietnam war.

One simple and haunting statistic. If a young woman is 18 years old with a high school education...a job...and a spouse...the chances of her baby growing up in poverty are just 8 percent.

If she is 18...without a high school diploma...without a job...without a spouse...the chances of her baby growing up in poverty is 80 percent...eight zero...And the correlation between poverty...and drugs, gangs, guns and death...is overwhelming...staggering...numbing...

All of us...in government...corporate America...labor unions...academia...churches, synagogues...mosques...and, yes, the media...must teach...cajole...motivate our children to finish school...learn a skill...hold a job...get married...have a baby...in that order.

We all know extraordinary individuals who have succeeded against the odds?and we salute them?but it is so much better for any baby to have a loving mom and dad?both there at the creation and throughout the education and rearing of their precious child.

If we are serious about being the world's premiere military, economic and moral force in the world, we have no choice. We cannot leave any of our children behind. We will need all of our children contributing and prospering.

We can build more prisons...and we will...and put more police on the streets...and we should...but unless we instill in our young the most basic social skills and cultural and moral values...we will be a very different society. We must motivate-inspire-yes insist-our children respect one another...yes "love they neighbor as thyself."

We must do everything in our power to make sure schools are meaningful...skills are learnable...jobs are available. No matter what profession you choose, you must try, even in the smallest ways to improve the quality of life of the children in our country.

No one has shown that generous spirit of service more than the Alliance for Catholic Education and the Holy Cross Associations. No matter what your political philosophy, reach down from that ladder and see if there isn't some children we can't pull up a rung or two?some are sick, some are lonely, some are uneducated. Most have little control over their fate. Give them a hand. Given them a chance. Given them their dignity.

We must teach our children they are never, never, entitled, but they are always, always loved. There is indeed a very simple truth, "No exercise is better for the human heart than reaching down to lift up another person."

That is your charge. That is your challenge. That is your opportunity.

That's what I believe it means to be a member of the Class of 2002 of the University of Notre Dame. For the good of us all, specifically my 16-year-old son Luke who is with me today. Please build a future we all can be proud of.

You can do it.

But please get busy...you only have 2,300 weeks before you'll be eligible for Social Security!

For me, my life is now complete. I have a Jesuit education and a Notre Dame diploma. Have a wonderful life.

Take care of one another,

Be careful tonight.

God Bless...This is my 25th honorary degree. Saving the best for last...Go Irish!


May 19, 2002
 
Originally posted by Lemonite:
Yes S.F. It is grad school for me, then maybe a narrowing program after that hopefully...

I was just wondering what you're planning to study in graduate school, Lemonite? And what school will you be going to? Good luck with whatever you're doing!
 
Hahah.. If this isn't Douche Tastic

Good Ol' Flipper's a Dirty Old Man..

Dolphin luring swimmers off for sex


03 June, 2002 23:06 BST


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LONDON (Reuters) - Swimmers have been warned to stay away from a sexually frustrated dolphin off a seaside resort after it tried to lure unwary humans out to sea in a bid to mate with them.

The Times newspaper said on Tuesday that the bottlenose dolphin, nicknamed Georges, had arrived off Weymouth, Dorset, about two months ago after following a trawler across the Channel.

"This dolphin does get very sexually aggressive. He has already attempted to mate with some divers," U.S. marine mammal expert Ric O'Barry told the paper.

"When dolphins get sexually excited, they try to isolate a swimmer, normally female. They do this by circling around the individual and gradually move them away from the beach, boat or crowd of people."

O'Barry said the dolphin, which weighs an estimated 400 lbs (180 kg), would get very excited and rough and try to mate with the swimmer, possibly causing them to drown.

The dolphin also has a fascination for boat propellers and has been injured several times. But it has resisted attempts to move to less-populated waters, the paper said.

Since his arrival at Weymouth, Georges has become a major attraction at the seaside resort with thousands of people taking to the sea in boats to watch him play.
 
SF and Fizzing Thanks, and Fizzing, let's just say If you ever happen to need Cephelax or the Opposite Gender Viagra just give me a call.. Hahha.. Crooked even before I begin.. but be careful, your first intuition is probably not exactly my path... very very close though.

And now to answer your question from months ago.. I think the situation surrounding this was a thread 'America Appreciation', and someone else stated, 'Well, now we need another thread to Celebrate all the other wonderful Nations in this world'... While a noble statement, and a completely rational thought process.. It's full of shit.

BEGIN STORY

Imagine this.. You've probably got many more intense shows like this over the ocean, but here in America we have MTV dismissed and it's this date show where two guys vie for the affection.. or at least temporary affection of a girl and at the end of the show, the girl chooses ONE guy, hence the other is dismissed. Now.. I absolutely hate this show, because by nature I pick one guy or one girl I'd like to win the 'game', and start getting agitated if they're 'faltering' in their quest to make out with their 'prey', but WHEN it's time for the decision to be made.. for the girl to choose which guy she wants to keep and which one she wants to dismiss.. The Girl ALWAYS starts out by stating

(BOY A).. I had a great great time with you, you made me feel some intense things that I didn't know were there.. I truly loved that close encountering dance we had together out on the Dance Floor.. (Then she turns to the Other Guy)..

(BOY B).. I also had a great great time with you, You know, you were the best gentleman a lady could ask for, you cooked for me, the fried Flounder was delectable and truly touched my tastebuds.. I felt as if you were feeding my heart with your kindness and skilled culinary...

Then she turns to the camera.. And is like 'But I have to make a decision, I have to pick one of you, and BOY A, while I loved dancing with you, you completely ignited my fire.. BOY B, You were the one that I felt most myself with.. I'm kinda a shy girl and lo key, and so I'm going to have to dismiss you BOY A.

END STORY

Ok.. now if you followed this, I'm sure you can imagine other situations like this.. Another that comes to mind is the 'Committee Decision' for something.. For example, I applied for a service commissioner in my dorm.. I didn't get it.. Never mind the fact that I slept through Christmas in April, and Went ot teh Bar to watch teh Celtics game instead of Habitat for Humanity, BUT.. I didnt' get the position, and when I went to teh Dorm President and asked him what was up, he was like 'Oh Kevin.. it was a committee decision, I didnt' have really any control'.. Basically telling me to not blame him, even though he was one of the votes against me.. but to blame the committee..

This last example is different but in the same vein, that our world is soo permeated by Political Correctness, so wrapped up in appreciating EVERYTHING, that no one gets their moment, everything has to be sensitive to everything else..

In MTV DISMISSED the girl can't just end the show by saying 'BOY B, you were the one I liked the best, BOY A you are dismissed'.. NOOO THIS CAN:T HAPPEN, the girl must first spoon feed BOY A a bowl of fececal matter by stating that WHILE she did have an excellent time with him, it was by a matter of chance, similar to drawing straws (Or so she makes it seem) that BOY B just edged out and won the 'Contest'.

In my application for Service Commissioner I couldn't have been told, 'John McK. was the best for the job, he had amazing credentials and you just weren't as good.' I had to have been told taht apparently this dorm president was on my side (Or so I would be led to believe), but the rest of the committee decided against me... just a side note, what makes taht more pathetic is there are like two positions for service commissioner in the dorm.. Ah.. pass me another cigar.. Anyways back to the point...

We can never state Preference without justifying it by playing up to everything else.

We can never State what's right or Wrong without First being accused as ARROGANT.. and secondly, without discussing things around the table.. "Well maybe this might work.. or if we tweak this out it might suffice".. Uh.. sorry.. There sometimes are situations where things are right and wrong.. Regardless of how much you want to talk about it or discuss it.. the answers are not going to change.

And so my gripe with that little post by someone 'We now need to have an appreciation thread for everyone else' is summed up above, but finished in the following.. Just give America it's moment in that thread.. If you want to start threads for every country.. GO AHEAD AND START THEM, BUT you don't have to put in the AMERICA THREAD.. which was really ONLY for posts about Appreciating America... a Post basically justifying the Appreciate America thread as a sort of 'Appreciation Thread of the Day'.. where America just happened to be the one selected.. No.. I'm sorry, It was made to celebrate America.. That's it.. People want to write in it "AMERICA IS TEH BEST ".. Then go right ahead.. You don't have to feel the need to say, "Oh Gee there are so many wonderful nations in this world and America is one of them"..

Yes I realize that I'm fighting a battle against all of society, all of the corporate world, and practically all institutions in the world, Maybe except for the military.. and the Irish Guard.. But it jsut gets to me when I see people who very well know the right answer to a solution, peddling around 'various solutions' or spend time justifying themselves because 'Society has deemed it necessary to Discuss, to PC everything, and to make sure no toes are stepped on in the process."

Deep breath.. Fizzing I appreciate your patience.

L.Unplugged
 
Hahaha.. my bad.. I haven't gotten used to all the newfangled gadgets here yet and have not made a look over there yet..

L.Unplugged
 
Harvard Hates America... Hardly a Surprise

Harvard was accused a while back for Hating America.. I forget the exact situation, and here, as their Valedictorian, they've Selected someone who has supported the Terrorist Group 'HAMAS', and gives a speech titled 'American Jihad'...


Harvard Student Gives Speech Citing 'Jihad'
Reaction Mixed to Muslim American's Commencement Talk

By Pamela Ferdinand
Special to The Washington Post
Friday, June 7, 2002; Page A03



CAMBRIDGE, Mass., June 6 -- On a rain-drenched commencement day at Harvard Yard, a Muslim American student Thursday urged his fellow graduates to shape "a more just, peaceful and honorable global society" -- and referred repeatedly to "jihad" as he did so.

Thus, Zayed Yasin, 22, a biomedical engineering student, delivered the speech whose original title -- "American Jihad" -- ignited a controversy that included a campus-wide debate over free speech, a petition opposing his selection as one of three student speakers at Harvard's 351st commencement and an e-mailed death threat against him. Yasin changed his title to "Of Faith and Citizenship" and heightened some references to the Sept. 11 attacks, but his text remained largely intact.

"I am one of you. But I am also one of 'them,' " he said, opening his remarks by referring to his dual identities as a practicing Muslim and American citizen and their perceived contradictions. He said he chose the word "struggle" deliberately and went on to condemn misuse of the Arabic term.

" 'Jihad' is a word that has been corrupted and misinterpreted, both by those who do and do not claim to be Muslims. And we saw last fall, to our great national and personal loss, the results of this corruption," he said.

Invoking the significance of personal moral growth, Yasin defined the true meaning of "jihad" as "the determination to do right, to do justice even against your own interests" and as "an individual struggle for moral behavior."

Yasin's choice of the Arabic word, which also has been defined as "holy war" and used by Muslim fundamentalists to justify terrorism, had led some critics to denounce him as a terrorist sympathizer. But the former Harvard Islamic Society president received the continued backing of university President Lawrence H. Summers. Yasin also appeared on national television to defend remarks that few people outside the selection committee were allowed to read before the commencement.

As he finished his speech, Yasin, the son of a Bangladeshi father and Irish American mother, looked relieved to have the dispute and four years at Harvard behind him.

A number of audience members, including an entire section of students, rose to give him a standing ovation, while others whooped in support. Scores of other students wore red, white and blue ribbons to express their opposition to the speech, and some circulated leaflets comparing Yasin's statements to quotations about terrorism, such as one by President Bush: "You're either with us or against" us in the fight against terror.

Security was tight, with walk-through metal detectors at most entrances. Police officers near the dais flanked Yasin, who also wore a red, white and blue ribbon on the lapel of his black graduation gown.

"It was very thoughtful," said Ursula Zaluar, a Brazilian woman whose husband received a master's degree in public administration. "I liked it very much. It made me think."

But others sat silently, hands clasped in their laps afterward.

"I don't think it belonged here today," said a woman whose daughter graduated with Yasin and who declined to give her name. "We have a graduate whose father died in the World Trade Center. Why bring it up when today should be a day of joy?"



? 2002 The Washington Post Company
 
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