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Old 04-17-2005, 09:34 PM   #1
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Parenting...

I got this idea from a thread in General Tour Discussions of all places, but it was an interesting discussion just not the place so I deciding to pose the question here.

How much privacy do you allow your children? And at what point do you start to allow more privacy?

Do you scan their computer use, check emails, etc.

Do you allow any privacy with the opposite sex and if so at what age?

Just some questions...please add some if you think of any.
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Old 04-17-2005, 09:41 PM   #2
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How much privacy do you allow your children? And at what point do you start to allow more privacy?

If I had them, it would likely depend on their age and maturity level. I think guidance is important for the first 10 years of parenting. After that, as long as they are trustworthy, I'd give them a substantial amount of freedom, but at the same time, want to be approachable when they need advice.


Do you scan their computer use, check emails, etc.

I would not normally do that unless they exhibited suspicious behavior, such as turning off the computer/signing off the minute I walk in.


Do you allow any privacy with the opposite sex and if so at what age?

By common sense, I would not allow them to have a member of the opposite sex in the bedroom with the door closed as long as they are under my roof.


I can't think of anything worthwhile to add at the moment...
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Old 04-18-2005, 04:04 AM   #3
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Re: Parenting...

How much privacy do you allow your children? And at what point do you start to allow more privacy?

I don't believe in computers or TV's in the bedroom until they are older. (Mine are 13, 12 & 5) Since the computer is nearby for me to monitor, I can tell what my son is doing online by the sounds and question him or poke in if I don't know what I'm hearing.

More privacy comes when you can trust that they won't be getting into trouble whenever that is. I get home from work later than the older two get home from school so they do have a block of time unmonitored every day. So far so good.

Do you scan their computer use, check emails, etc.

Usually my 13 year old leaves a trail. I've had a constant battle with him downloading new games (and spyware). Using a parental control software is something I've been considering. Currently, I passworded the system so he can't get pass the boot without me there. That is in attempt to get him to focus on homework when he gets home.

If I was concerned about something I would check the emails.


Do you allow any privacy with the opposite sex and if so at what age?

New territory for me so I don't have an answer yet. I agree with Macfistowannabe - no bedrooms.
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Old 04-18-2005, 09:07 AM   #4
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How much privacy do you allow your children? And at what point do you start to allow more privacy?

My kids are 10 and 5 (tomorrow). We teach them to expect and give privacy for certain things (changing clothes, using a bathroom, etc). We don’t plan on giving them television or internet access in their rooms for a while.

Do you scan their computer use, check emails, etc.

While they are still too young to actively use the internet, we would monitor such usage and scan the flow of information. Giving them privacy does not mean we abdicate our responsibilities to monitor, teach, direct and counsel our children. I know there are classmates of our 10-year old son who access internet porn on multiple occasions. We end up having to parent to address issues caused by another parent’s failure.

Do you allow any privacy with the opposite sex and if so at what age?

This will depend on the maturity level of the child and our understanding of the child’s moral compass. Our son is still a little freaked by the concept of liking girls as “girlfriends”. Some of his classmates talk about all the things they will “do” with their “girlfriends”. I think this is more a projection of the images they see on the internet. My guess is that our son has had more physical contact with a girl (battling for the ball in water polo) than his classmates.
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Old 04-18-2005, 04:37 PM   #5
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Re: Parenting...

Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar
I got this idea from a thread in General Tour Discussions of all places...
Just some questions...please add some if you think of any.
Well, since you mentioned that Tour Discussions thread...

The first Vertigo Tour shows included an image of a topless dancer on the LED curtain (it's since apparently been cut out). If you knew that image would appear, would you refuse to bring your kids to the concert?
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Old 04-18-2005, 05:07 PM   #6
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Re: Re: Parenting...

Quote:
Originally posted by yolland


Well, since you mentioned that Tour Discussions thread...

The first Vertigo Tour shows included an image of a topless dancer on the LED curtain (it's since apparently been cut out). If you knew that image would appear, would you refuse to bring your kids to the concert?
First of all the image was only used during Mysterious Ways, which hasn't been played a lot, from what I understand.

But as to the question. I could care less. Am I going to not take my children to a museum that had paintings of nudes? Of course not.
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