Outdated Sexist Tradition, Or Just A Gesture Of Courtesy And Respect?

[MrsSpringsteen]

It's not about the quality of experience, it's about trying to outdo others and/or prove something-and impress others. That's a big part of the reasons behind lavish rings, weddings, etc. If you can afford it that's one thing. But to go into unreasonable, unaffordable debt for that reason seems crazy and inappropriate to me. Why should people cave in to pressure to do that? And it can get to the point where it is all about that and not an actual marriage.

 

[Irvine511]

Doesn't the question begging the question beg the question? Why SHOULD money be any sort of object?

i agree. and i think rings fall under this as well.

 

[Varitek]

i've been invited to bachelorette parties and i've heard women talking about how they are financially deceptive to their husbands. not a lot of money, just maybe they sneak/hide an extra $80 a month for manicures or whatever, and it's justified because he'd only notice if they stopped whatever beauty upkeep routine they've come to expect. and one girl explained to her friends that she convinced her husband that she *had* to get a mani and pedi every month. it was, you see, just like a haircut.

This is why I wil make a salary. Not that I like manicures, but that I think entire financial dependence would create that kind of deception or struggle or inequality in a relationship. Also, two of the most important qualities in a husband for me, not that I overtly look for them on the dating scene, are similar spending habits and similar travel style. I couldn't spend my life with someone who didn't travel like me, and I couldn't spend my life arguing about money. Also, food. He better like good, spicy food from all over the world. Cause that's what I'm cooking and those are the restaraunts I want to go to.

 

[Varitek]

I think that's perfect. If it's just a gesture of courtesy and respect these days rather than permission, well both parents should be asked and in a male/female scenario it should be mother and father-or else, at least for me, it gets into that paternalistic ownership type of thing.

Well, I said "parents" not because I believe it's a gesture of respect to ask them both. I mean, I do believe that, and for those who have made the argument about joining the family rather than about ownership, you better be talking about asking both parents. But I said parents because I have two mothers - no father to ask.

And sorry, Manny's taken. His smokin' wife was on Boston's best dressed list last year...well if you or I had that kind of money to play around with, maybe we would be too! One of the times I met Manny he told me I was his wife's size...but that's another story, and it was mostly in regards to my wrist, because he was buying her a tennis bracelet and wanted me to try it on for size. /tangent

 

[Irvine511]

This is why I wil make a salary. .

oh, these women make decent money, but there's financial accountability involved -- one has to justify expenses to the other (i.e., his baseball tickets or something).

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Well, I said "parents" not because I believe it's a gesture of respect to ask them both. I mean, I do believe that, and for those who have made the argument about joining the family rather than about ownership, you better be talking about asking both parents. But I said parents because I have two mothers - no father to ask.

And sorry, Manny's taken. His smokin' wife was on Boston's best dressed list last year...well if you or I had that kind of money to play around with, maybe we would be too! One of the times I met Manny he told me I was his wife's size...but that's another story, and it was mostly in regards to my wrist, because he was buying her a tennis bracelet and wanted me to try it on for size. /tangent

Yes I know you have two mothers, that's why I said in a male female parent scenario. I don't think anything I said was insensitive to that

And I know he's taken-it was just a hypothetical of someone who is extremely wealthy.