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Old 05-13-2004, 11:47 AM   #31
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Originally posted by nbcrusader
Teen pregnancy is an absolute failure of adults. When we suggest that "kids will have sex anyways" we are collectively failing to set expectations for a child's behavior. We are failing the next generation.
It's interesting, NBC, I saw this as a teacher. I had girls tell me frankly that they were virgins and that no, NOT everyone is doing it. (Why they thought their Enlish teacher needed to know this, I'm not sure, but I guess I ask for it when I open up conversations about life). Anyway, I don't have any at my fingertips but I've seen surveys that show that most girls at least (can't speak for the boys ), if they do have sex, do so because they think they have to to keep their guy.

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Old 05-13-2004, 12:26 PM   #32
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It's interesting, NBC, I saw this as a teacher.
I've also seen this in the teaching realm. Parents frequently undercut a teacher's ability to set and maintain expectations. Often, the parent is too disengaged to support or enforce any such expectations.
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Old 05-13-2004, 08:04 PM   #33
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Often, the parent is too disengaged to support or enforce any such expectations.
We have a HUGE problem with this where I live. It's the main reason why our public education around here is a joke. Parents have no incentive to be involved with what their children are learning. They just drop them off at school at 6:30 for free breakfast and pick them up in the afternoon. If the parents don't care, the teachers have no reason to enforce certain standards. In the end it's the kids that suffer.
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Old 05-13-2004, 08:36 PM   #34
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I have been teaching eight years....and it has not been getting any easier.

Too many parents, fathers in particular, leaving their children in the dust.

Classroom of 20 Kids....11 do not have a relationship with their father. I wish I were making it up.
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Old 05-13-2004, 10:14 PM   #35
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I can't believe the huge rise in sexual activity among children that has happened in less than a generation's time. It makes me afraid of what things are going to be like when I have kids some day. I'm only 21 and when I was in middle school very few kids were having sex and now it seems pretty common(maybe I was just naive because I hung out with good kids, but I don't think so. Does anyone else in their late teens/early 20s notice the change?). There was of course a lot of high schoolers having sex, but I find that a little less disturbing, though not necessarily great either. I'm not really sure what is wrong with society that is causing this to happen. On a lot of levels I think it has to do with lack of boundaries from parents. I see pre-teen girls dressing like they are 20, something my parents never would have let me do. It seems like a lot of mothers even encourage it. Working retail I have seen mothers buying thong underwear for their pre-teen daughters, etc and I think it's sick. The way we are sexualizing children is horrible, we are stealing their childhood from them. I worked in the children's department of jc penney and they had padded training bras! Little girls do not need to be worrying about how big their boobs are . I'm getting off topic, so i'll just leave it at that.
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Old 05-13-2004, 10:24 PM   #36
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On a lot of levels I think it has to do with lack of boundaries from parents. I see pre-teen girls dressing like they are 20, something my parents never would have let me do. It seems like a lot of mothers even encourage it. Working retail I have seen mothers buying thong underwear for their pre-teen daughters, etc and I think it's sick. The way we are sexualizing children is horrible, we are stealing their childhood from them. I worked in the children's department of jc penney and they had padded training bras!
Sooooooo true!!! My mom will often point and comment to me when she sees little girls (12 or younger) wearing skimpy sequined halter tops, string bikinis, etc. When I was a kid, our clothes were practical and durable, not slutty. Some of the stuff I've seen kids in I'd be embarrassed to wear at my age (19)!
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Old 05-13-2004, 11:12 PM   #37
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Dressing like that doesn't automatically mean you'll become sexually active, though. I mean, I wouldn't wear that stuff, but if somebody wanted to...*Shrugs*.

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Old 05-14-2004, 01:28 AM   #38
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No it doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to do something. I just don't think it's right to try to make 12 year olds look sexy. They are children and shouldn't be sexualized like that imo.
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Old 05-14-2004, 01:43 AM   #39
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No it doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to do something. I just don't think it's right to try to make 12 year olds look sexy. They are children and shouldn't be sexualized like that imo.
I totally agree. Even if an 11 or 12 year old girl isn't having sex or considering it, looking or acting overtly sexual can put her in situations she doesn't need to be in and probably can't handle at that age.

I recently took my 13 year old niece to Disneyland and she is a gorgeous, yet very innocent little girl. She was dressed in a way that I considered innapropriate for her age but no different than the way most of her friends dress. I was really unnerved at the way 20, 30 and even 40 year old men were looking at her. It was scary. To them, she was a cute blond with long legs in a short skirt but in reality she's a dorky 7th grader who hasn't even kissed a boy yet.

She was oblivious to it all but I'm pretty sure if she had been wearing baggy jeans and sweatshirt, they would have looked right past her.
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Old 05-14-2004, 02:50 AM   #40
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I agree with Mrs. S! They don't need it taught to them, and they don't need it crammed down their throats, either! They ARE kids, after all!
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Old 05-14-2004, 04:31 AM   #41
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Originally posted by Bono's American Wife
I recently took my 13 year old niece to Disneyland and she is a gorgeous, yet very innocent little girl. She was dressed in a way that I considered innapropriate for her age but no different than the way most of her friends dress. I was really unnerved at the way 20, 30 and even 40 year old men were looking at her. It was scary. To them, she was a cute blond with long legs in a short skirt but in reality she's a dorky 7th grader who hasn't even kissed a boy yet.
I agree, guys that age shouldn't be looking at girls that young in such a way, but the clothing has nothing to do with it, namely because...

Quote:
Originally posted by Bono's American Wife
She was oblivious to it all but I'm pretty sure if she had been wearing baggy jeans and sweatshirt, they would have looked right past her.
...if some adult wants to take advantage of a young girl (or boy), they will do so regardless of what clothing the child wears. A young girl could wear a snug sweater, that, even though it's tight, is still covering up everything, and some idiot can still get some sick thoughts about her.

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Old 05-14-2004, 05:48 PM   #42
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originally posted by ILuvLarryMullen
I can't believe the huge rise in sexual activity among children that has happened in less than a generation's time. It makes me afraid of what things are going to be like when I have kids some day. I'm only 21 and when I was in middle school very few kids were having sex and now it seems pretty common(maybe I was just naive because I hung out with good kids, but I don't think so. Does anyone else in their late teens/early 20s notice the change?).
I have, and I am also afraid when I have kids. I really find it hard to believe that junior high kids, and younger, are having oral sex because that never happened when I was in junior high. Back then, all we did was hold hands while walking down the halls, and on a dare, kiss each other for one minute. That was it, something completely innocent. There was no sex going on, and oral sex wasn't even thought of. Oral sex is kind of like the new fourth base or something, since lately it comes before intercourse.


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originally posted by Moonlit_Angel
...if some adult wants to take advantage of a young girl (or boy), they will do so regardless of what clothing the child wears. A young girl could wear a snug sweater, that, even though it's tight, is still covering up everything, and some idiot can still get some sick thoughts about her.
True, but the fact that skin is showing would make men more likely to look at her.
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Old 05-14-2004, 06:06 PM   #43
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True, but the fact that skin is showing would make men more likely to look at her.
Not necessarily. Again, pedophiles do not care what kids are wearing, they just see a kid they can take advantage of.

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Old 05-14-2004, 06:53 PM   #44
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Again, pedophiles do not care what kids are wearing, they just see a kid they can take advantage of.

Of course, there will always be SOMEONE sick enough to harm an innocent child regardless of how she's dressed, but that doesn't mean we give up. I mean, there will always be rape, but we don't tell women to go to parties, get trashed and let a guy drug her up b/c hell, she might get raped anyway, so why not? Bottom line: some parents these days just haven't got a clue.
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Old 05-14-2004, 07:13 PM   #45
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Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
Of course, there will always be SOMEONE sick enough to harm an innocent child regardless of how she's dressed, but that doesn't mean we give up. I mean, there will always be rape, but we don't tell women to go to parties, get trashed and let a guy drug her up b/c hell, she might get raped anyway, so why not? Bottom line: some parents these days just haven't got a clue.
I think there's a fine line between saying that someone's dress or behaviour could contribute to them being a victim of rape or sexual abuse, and saying that if women choose to dress in 'sexy' clothes then they're "leading guys on" or "asking for it." (I realise you weren't suggesting this of course.)

The way I see it is that people should be free to dress in any way they wish without fear of being attacked because of that. If a woman is raped it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT the fault of the rapist, no matter what the situation, no matter if she was walking down a dark street at 3am, no matter if she was wearing a sexy dress, no matter if she was drunk, no matter what.

Imagine if courts and in fact wider society treated people who had been mugged the same way they treat women who have been raped.

"Well, Mr. Bloggs, you were wearing a very expensive suit, you were advertising the fact that you're rich."

"You were spending a lot of money in that bar, Mr, Bloggs, it was clear that you were carrying a lot of money."

"You've given money to charity in the past, wouldn't it be reasonable for the muggers to assume you didn't mind having your money taken from you by force since you've given it away freely in the past?"

This ridiculous idea that dressing in a particular way makes a woman more likely to be the victim of violence really pisses me off.
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