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Old 06-17-2005, 08:01 AM   #16
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Originally posted by starsforu2


I didn't know how to explain how I know

I think we're in total agreement that the most convenient way is to distribute condoms, but even with condom distribution, you have to teach people to adopt it. For a while, I think I read that some places Men refused to wear it because it was deemed dishonorable. So no matter what you teach people in terms of sex, it's going to be a hard slog. I know many friends who won't wear condoms, and they know the facts.
Yes, I've heard similar things. Apparently, too, there's a lot of misinformation regarding condoms, virgins, certain ages of sex partners, and God only knows what else floating around in Africa. We see how persistent even innocuous urban legends can be in the U.S.; they must act similarly in terms of condoms and such in Africa.

Condoms are so good in some ways and so problematic in others. But FYM is still a family forum...most of the time. So I suppose a fascinating exposition on the pros and cons of condom use might not fly.
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:02 AM   #17
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Originally posted by Irvine511


gosh ... maybe i should teach a class ...
That's exactly what I was thinking by the time I got down to this line!
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:03 AM   #18
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Originally posted by Irvine511




also, if you're gay, or simply engaging in anal sex (straight people do it too!) in no way should you use condoms with spermacide, nor should you use the "ultra sensitive" kind. (that could probably go for vaginal intercourse as well).

I haven't heard this one, Irvine. Why shouldn't you use a spermicide? Lots of women who are sensitive to hormone-based birth control use condom + spermicide, which, if used consistently and correctly, seems to have a failure rate equivalent to consistent and correct Pill usage. But can spermicide weaken the condom or something?
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:04 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by starsforu2

I think we're in total agreement that the most convenient way is to distribute condoms, but even with condom distribution, you have to teach people to adopt it. For a while, I think I read that some places Men refused to wear it because it was deemed dishonorable. So no matter what you teach people in terms of sex, it's going to be a hard slog. I know many friends who won't wear condoms, and they know the facts.

yes, THIS is a big, cultural problem. bingo.

i simply don't understand the resistance some men have towards condoms. yes, i understand that stimulation is reduced (not from experience either ... i've never had sex without one, not once) but, good gosh, for the life of me i can't imagine being willing to take that risk. no orgasm is worth your life! if you don't have condoms, DON'T HAVE SEX!!! (gosh, there are so many other fun things you can do ... perhaps we should teach alternatives to intercourse?)

and, on the TMI front, i couldn't *relax* enough to even be able to accomodate penetration if my partner weren't wearing a condom. and we hadn't already had a discussion on our STD status. and we hadn't agreed to pullout before ejaculation.
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:05 AM   #20
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my innocent eyes don't know how to take this!



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Old 06-17-2005, 08:05 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by pax

Condoms are so good in some ways and so problematic in others. But FYM is still a family forum...most of the time. So I suppose a fascinating exposition on the pros and cons of condom use might not fly.

oops.

edit my posts if you must.

sorry.

(i did it all in the name of safe sex!)
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:06 AM   #22
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pssssst...Irvine...

I can't edit your posts anymore.

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Old 06-17-2005, 08:07 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by pax


I haven't heard this one, Irvine. Why shouldn't you use a spermicide? Lots of women who are sensitive to hormone-based birth control use condom + spermicide, which, if used consistently and correctly, seems to have a failure rate equivalent to consistent and correct Pill usage. But can spermicide weaken the condom or something?


spermacide irritates the anal lining and can cause microscopic tears through which HIV can enter the bloodstream.
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:07 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511



yes, THIS is a big, cultural problem. bingo.

i simply don't understand the resistance some men have towards condoms. yes, i understand that stimulation is reduced (not from experience either ... i've never had sex without one, not once) but, good gosh, for the life of me i can't imagine being willing to take that risk. no orgasm is worth your life! if you don't have condoms, DON'T HAVE SEX!!! (gosh, there are so many other fun things you can do ... perhaps we should teach alternatives to intercourse?)

and, on the TMI front, i couldn't *relax* enough to even be able to accomodate penetration if my partner weren't wearing a condom. and we hadn't already had a discussion on our STD status. and we hadn't agreed to pullout before ejaculation.
to everything

Why *aren't* we teaching alternatives to intercourse, really?
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:09 AM   #25
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Originally posted by Irvine511




spermacide irritates the anal lining and can cause microscopic tears through which HIV can enter the bloodstream.
Ah, okay...but same goes for women? What about spermicidal condoms?
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:13 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by starsforu2
...some places Men refused to wear it because it was deemed dishonorable.
this is a common (mis)conception among some cultures. i dated a guy from eastern europe who was absolutely insulted by the thought of wearing a condom. he also thought STDs and HIV/AIDS was a matter of personal hygeine, and that you could tell whether they were infected by looking at them. he's an otherwise smart, intelligent guy and he firmly believes he's right, despite knowing what the medical community has repeatedly stated over and over again.

Quote:
Originally posted by starsforu2
So no matter what you teach people in terms of sex, it's going to be a hard slog. I know many friends who won't wear condoms, and they know the facts.
therein lies the crux of the problem.

a couple of the guys i've dated didn't want to wear condoms simply because they reduced their sensitivity. unfortunately, most of my friends have similar stories about "the condom argument." the possibility of sex seems to put an alarming number of people's logic to sleep.

i agree that education is the key, but some people are still willing to throw caution to the wind at the worst possible times.
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:15 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by pax


Ah, okay...but same goes for women? What about spermicidal condoms?


not sure about women ... i plead ignorance on the workings of the vagina

anal sex is a tighter form of sex, and pretty much always requires some kind of external lubricant. it's rougher on the condom, and i assume the anal lining is different from the vaginal lining.
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:31 AM   #28
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wow. how did I miss this thread?
Tim is talking about - er- um- size

mmkay, moving on.
Im surprised at the misconceptions people have about sexual education.

From what I know, there are certain forms of lubricant that weaken the condom. And you should never use baby oil or anything like that
Fortunately I dont have to worry about -
ack
nevermind
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Old 06-17-2005, 08:46 AM   #29
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Originally posted by u2bonogirl
From what I know, there are certain forms of lubricant that weaken the condom. And you should never use baby oil or anything like that
Fortunately I dont have to worry about -
ack
nevermind


yes, absolutely.

you must use a water-based lubricant! the following are good and made just for condoms:

Astroglide
KY Jelly
Aqua Lube
Wet

NEVER use the following:

Baby Oil
Cold Cream
Olive oil
Peanut oil
Corn oil
Sunflower oil
Petroleum jelly (i.e. Vaseline)
Hand and body lotions
Suntan oil and lotion


just because i'm feeling like a Peer Health counselor, here are some great instructions for good, safe, responsible condom use (on a side note, i think it's a good idea for the receptive partner to put the condom on the active partner ... it's a great way to make sure everything is in order, and it's kind of sexy as well):

Carefully tear open the wrapper. If you are using lubricant, place a drop or two inside the condom.

If your partner has not been circumcised, then pull back the foreskin.

Leaving a ½ inch of space at the top, pinch the tip of the condom and begin to roll it on to the penis. The roll should lie on the outside of the condom. Unroll the condom all the way to the base of the penis.

Make sure there are no air bubbles as these can cause the condom to break during sex.



also, while many men don't like this, i think it's a good idea to pull out before ejaculation (in addition to the condom). why not be extra careful, especially if this is a casual encounter.
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Old 06-17-2005, 09:02 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511


(on a side note, i think it's a good idea for the receptive partner to put the condom on the active partner ... it's a great way to make sure everything is in order, and it's kind of sexy as well):

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