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Old 07-05-2005, 08:44 AM   #16
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Considering that many will engage in sexual behavior for the simple pleasure of the acts, could it be that individuals will engage in sexual acts where a desire for a pleasurable feeling overrides whatever orientation they may have?
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:48 AM   #17
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If the first thing somebody asks when a baby is born is "is it a boy or a girl" then theres a lot of importance in gender identity. Obviously, right? We have separate bathrooms and locker rooms....etc
if this boy or girl is taught that youre supposed to like the opposite sex, and one day they start feeling like they have feelings for the same sex, it probably throws off the whole gender identity.
That would cause some confusion on their part Im sure. In that confusion maybe they think that well, if Im supposed to like girls (if this is a boy) then they think that theyve liked them all along and just started liking boys too.
But I dont know anything really. Ive never had the feelings so I cant describe what happens


it's not about gender misidentity -- you just feel a bit different.

while i was taunted with the same words that most somewhat sensitive, bookish, non-aggressive, non-sports obsessed boys get all the time in elementary school -- "sissy" "girl" "fag" "pansy" etc. -- those are more to do with simply being an atypical boy than actually acting or feeling like a girl or being gay, which was certainly not on my mind when i was in elementary school in the mid-to-late 1980s. i've never wanted to be a girl, i never thought i was a girl (though i always enjoyed the friendship of girls, sometimes more than boys), and i had no real desire to play "girl" games. i wanted to be friend with boys, but to relate to them in a slightly difficult way. i wanted to talk about books, music, movies, play video games, play in the woods, go on adventures while on bikes, and develop deep friendships based upon communication -- this is slightly atypical, as most pre-pubescent boys tend to make friends through shared interests and activities, and the friendship grows through participation in such an activity. i remember doing that -- i wasn't totally averse to sports, and enjoyed baseball quite a bit, and i became an obsessive swimmer into junior high and high school. but i do remember feeling very different from other boys and being unable to relate to pretty much any of them until junior high school.

i suppose the point is not feeling like a girl -- which is interesting, because i think homophobia is really misogyny in disguise -- but feeling like a different kind of boy, and not feeling excluded or tormented (i pretty much got along with everyone, even if i made few real friends at a young age) but just feeling like more of an observer than participant.
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:50 AM   #18
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I am actually curious whether this bisexuality theory also applies to women... and why did they use only men for this study?
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:54 AM   #19
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Originally posted by nbcrusader
Considering that many will engage in sexual behavior for the simple pleasure of the acts, could it be that individuals will engage in sexual acts where a desire for a pleasurable feeling overrides whatever orientation they may have?

i think this might be the litmus test: if you enjoy receiving oral sex, from a man or a woman, you might be gay or bisexual, but since most people enjoy receiving, it's not a terribly good indicator; if you enjoy performing oral sex upon someone of the same-gender, then you're probably gay or bisexual.

i think that's a crucial distinction. i've had sex with women, and to be blunt, it's a nice place to place a penis. however, that reduces sex to something very, very base. having sex with a man, for me, isn't about trying to find one particular sensation, but it's a much more wholistic act -- it's about the whole body, not a particular body part.

does that make sense?

somewhat hard to talk about without being totally graphic.

and this is a family forum, of course ...
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:18 PM   #20
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I can relate to being an atypical child and I know other people can too so I wouldnt necessarily attach your unique personality to your sexual orientation (regarding other people. I have no idea if you would be different if you had naturally preferred women)
I craved the same type of friendships that you did and related much better to boys than girls. I loved sports and wanted nothing to do with barbies or any other girl stuff. I wore clothes that hid my female shape a lot of the time because I thought if I seemed more boyish that certain people in my life would like me better.
I never wanted shallow relationships but wanted to talk about books and films and things like that.
But through all of that I had an attraction to the same sex that I related the best to. It was an odd feeling most of the time.
I had male friends but would inevitably end up messing around with them.
One day when one of my female friends trapped me in a small space with her and tried to stick her tongue in my mouth I got really confused.
I thought, whoa. If shes attracted to me, what if that means Im bisexual?
Eventually I sorted my thoughts and realized that it was nothing I had told myself but something outside me that had confused me.
I have no doubt that if certain confusing things happen to somebody when theyre young enough, they could be more likely to consider themselves bisexual.
I have a friend that got pimped out by his dad to drug dealers to get his fix and his son eventually thought he was gay.
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:22 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2@NYC
I am actually curious whether this bisexuality theory also applies to women... and why did they use only men for this study?
Because it's easy to test men's arousal...not so easy to do the same with women.
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:33 PM   #22
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very true
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:40 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar


Because it's easy to test men's arousal...not so easy to do the same with women.


I guess I did not think of it that way...
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Old 07-06-2005, 01:25 PM   #24
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Bisexuality exists. The flaw in this study is to presume that bisexuals are simultaneously attracted to both sexes at any given moment, when, in fact, it is one or the other over longer periods of time, most often.

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Old 07-06-2005, 01:38 PM   #25
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Bisexuality exists. The flaw in this study is to presume that bisexuals are simultaneously attracted to both sexes at any given moment, when, in fact, it is one or the other over longer periods of time, most often.
Based on personal experience, I would agree with such a conclusion.

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Old 07-06-2005, 02:24 PM   #26
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Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
I think all humans are abnormal in their own ways
I agree with that.

Personally, if someone tells me they're gay/straight/bi, like Irvine, I'll take them at their word. They'd know better than me, after all. And I'm not willing to discount anything regarding the legitimacy of any one sexual orientation, either.

Bottom line, people should just do whatever feels the most comfortable to them regarding romantic relationships.

Angela
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