New Study of American's Sex Lives

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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
yeah it made me sick to my stomach...thankfully i had fallen asleep with my discman on by bed so i put on my headphones...John Mellencamp "American Fool"...starts off with Hurts So Good and Jack and Diane. That saved me.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:
I don't think most teenagers are emotionally equipped to handle sex. They can treat it as casually as they want to have their pleasure and fun, but I think for most girls and boys it is damaging them in some way to be so casual about it. As for a deep meaningful love relationship, I don't think too many of those happen when you're that age.

I think too many teenagers are in denial about the consequences, emotional and physical. After all, some adults are too.

Absolutely.

We live in a society where sex sells. Responsibility doesn't sell. And consequences don't sell. Teenages are a product of our society.

Full separation of the emotional and physical aspects of sex are often claimed, but probably never achieved.
 
nbcrusader said:


Absolutely.

We live in a society where sex sells. Responsibility doesn't sell. And consequences don't sell. Teenages are a product of our society.

Full separation of the emotional and physical aspects of sex are often claimed, but probably never achieved.



do you think that, by definition, a teenager is incapable of a relationship emotionally mature enough to include responsible, affirmative sexual intercourse?

(i am not looking for an answer, i have many conflicted feelings about this, and am looking for a parental perspective)
 
Achtungbaby162 said:

I don't think sex can be damaging unless you're talking about rape, by the way. I think that THAT power of sex is overrated.

if it was not really wanted (not as in rape - but as in .. oookay i'll do it to kep him her) i think it can be damaging.
On the other hand

I agree that most of the times sex is way overrated
If it is not terribly great and mindblowing (which it, despite the oublic image, is often not) oder forced - sex is seriously overrated.
I mean - once i almost fell asleep :D


edit://
has anyone ever stopped to realize that oral sex is stilla great way to get deseases??
Herpes is quite populare

scientificly spoke:
sex with a condom is way more harmless then oral sex
unless you use a condom....
 
a-mole said:

has anyone ever stopped to realize that oral sex is stilla great way to get deseases??
Herpes is quite populare

scientificly spoke:
sex with a condom is way more harmless then oral sex
unless you use a condom....



while this is absolutely true, the two big boogeymen of sex -- AIDS and unwanted pregnancy -- are pretty much impossible to occur if you are having oral sex. there's really no documented case of anyone getting HIV from oral sex, and though some will claim that's how they were infected, one must remember that people often lie about sex and for a gay man it's particularly taboo to have admitted to having unprotected anal sex with anyone other than a monogamous partner.

however, you're right: protected intercourse where nothing goes wrong (i.e., you know how to use a condom) is safer than oral sex and, yes, it will protect against herpes and warts (the reason why they say it won't is because, especially with heterosex, herpes and warts are transmitted skin-to-skin and the condom doesn't cover areas where the warts and herpes might be).

you almost fell asleep having sex once?

you must be doing it with the wrong people. ;)
 
Irvine511 said:




do you think that, by definition, a teenager is incapable of a relationship emotionally mature enough to include responsible, affirmative sexual intercourse?

(i am not looking for an answer, i have many conflicted feelings about this, and am looking for a parental perspective)

I do not think you can make an absolute statement here.

I think that the hormones are kicking and damn, I can convince myself that I am ready to deal with the consequences of my behavior...

However, I am not sure I know too many teens who can handle the financial responsibility. If you can't handle the financial consequences of bringing a kid into the world, then a whole bunch of pep talking about being mature enough can go right out the window, because it ain't easy when the financial ramifications get in the way.
 
Dreadsox said:

However, I am not sure I know too many teens who can handle the financial responsibility. If you can't handle the financial consequences of bringing a kid into the world, then a whole bunch of pep talking about being mature enough can go right out the window, because it ain't easy when the financial ramifications get in the way.



very interesting. a financial argument.

well, my advice remains: wait until you're at least 18, and then use a condom, a back-up, and withdraw as well!

;)
 
Dreadsox said:
If you can't handle the financial consequences of bringing a kid into the world, then a whole bunch of pep talking about being mature enough can go right out the window, because it ain't easy when the financial ramifications get in the way.

In my experience, most people of ANY age tend not to think much about that particular outcome when deciding whether or not to pursue a sexual relationship.

I also was surprised by the financial argument...my doubts would run more along the lines of: Are you ready to be chained full-time to someone helpless, self-centered and needy for the next 18 years?

Perhaps you were thinking about the sons lecture, and I was thinking about the daughters lecture. They are not of the same gravity.
 
Interesting. Are you suggesting that the male faces the financial burden, while the female faces the care burden?

All too often, the women gets hit with both.
 
nbcrusader said:
Are you suggesting that the male faces the financial burden, while the female faces the care burden?

More that those are the respective threats parents tend to emphasize to their children, and not without reason, given socioeconomic realities. But the care burden is, in the end, by far the heavier of the two--especially for a teenager!--because it irreversibly changes your life priorities, your relationships to other adults, and your own sense of who you are and what you can become.

It would be a fairer world if there were a way to enforce the sharing of that burden...
 
nbcrusader said:
Interesting. Are you suggesting that the male faces the financial burden, while the female faces the care burden?

All too often, the women gets hit with both.

I was not....are you?
 
The new switchfoot album is really great - lyrics that relate below:

Addictive bittersweet, clap your hands,
with the hopeless nicotines

Everyone's a lost romantic,
Since our love became a kissing show
Everyone's a Cassanova,
Come and pass me the mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She, is easier than love
It's easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe

It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Were is my soul?

Ah, la, la, la, la,
La la la la la la la

Sex is industry,
The CEO of corporate policy
Skin-deep ministry,
Suburban youth, hail your so-called liberty

Every advertising antic,
our banner waves with a neon glow
War and love become pedantic,
We wage love with a mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She, is easier than love
It's easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe

It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Were is my soul?

Ah, la, la, la, la,
(Yeah!)
La la la la la la la,

La, la, la, la, oh,
(Yeah!)
La, la, la, la, no!

It's easier than love,
It's easier than love

It's easier than love,
It's easier than love

She, is easier than love,
It's easier than love

Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone,
alone


Sex is easier than love,
It's easier than life,
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe

It's easier to leave,
It's easier to lie,
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul? (Where is my?)
Where is my soul?
 
Those Switchfoot guys need to get laid.

Already before everyone gets mad at me, I'm kidding.

I resent the comment that teenagers are not emotionally developed enough to handle the things that a sexual relationship entails. I'm 18, miss imp13 is 17. We love each other and have a healthy relationship, physically and emotionally. I have never found that our physical relationship has negative effects on everything. We're mature people, and although we might not quite be adults, we're still just as emotionally equipped to handle a sexual relationship as a couple that's been together for 25 years.

And as for you, U2dem... well that's just bad. If my roommate was pulling shit like that, I'd be kicking them out. You ought to work out some sort of system for things like that, because they do deserve their private time, just not when you're in the room.
 
inmyplace13 said:

I resent the comment that teenagers are not emotionally developed enough to handle the things that a sexual relationship entails.

There's no need to resent it or take it personally :slant: it's just based upon my general observations and experiences. Good for you if you can but on the other hand your experience isn't representative of all teenagers.
 
inmyplace13 said:
I resent the comment that teenagers are not emotionally developed enough to handle the things that a sexual relationship entails.

Do you think teenages would be self-aware of their lack of emotional development?
 
nbcrusader said:


Do you think teenages would be self-aware of their lack of emotional development?



this is a good point.

it's amazing the amount you learn, and amazing at how you look back and see how stupid you were.

however, can one get to a point of self-awareness without making mistakes and taking risks?

it is all a part of growing up.
 
nbcrusader said:


Do you think teenages would be self-aware of their lack of emotional development?

That's a very good point, when I was a teenager I thought I knew it all

Before anyone gets all bent out of shape, that was me. Dare I say though that some teenagers do think that. Honestly I think I am still developing emotionally, I think people and experiences, self-examination and self awareness tend to do that.

Yes taking risks and making mistakes is important if you learn from them, but you have to do that cautiously. I guess I'm naive enough to think you should maintain a certain level of innocence when you're a teenager because life gets tough enough later. I'm just speaking for me, because I did that and I'm glad I did.
 
Resent was the wrong word, sorry MrsSpringsteen.

I understand where you guys are coming from on the self-awareness issue. The typical high school/teenage relationship is probably covered by all of your assertions. We handle all of our matters very much like adults, which is probably the reason it's lasted so long. I agree, though. We're most likely the exception, not the rule.

I hope my misuse of 'resent' didn't offend anyone
 
Irvine511 said:

while this is absolutely true, the two big boogeymen of sex -- AIDS and unwanted pregnancy -- are pretty much impossible to occur if you are having oral sex. there's really no documented case of anyone getting HIV from oral sex, and though some will claim that's how they were infected, one must remember that people often lie about sex and for a gay man it's particularly taboo to have admitted to having unprotected anal sex with anyone other than a monogamous partner.

i agree about pregnancy and AIDS
however, there is little education about other STDs that can be very annoying if not at all make you in fertile
several of these can be carried from genitalia to mouth to genitalia

most focus just on AIDS and pregnancy because these are the most prominent ones. However, diseases tha were thought to have diminished in teh western world are rapidly comming back.
Syphilis
Clamydia etc.


about the self awareness part
I think it is quite a common misconception of "adults" to think they are done with their developemnt.
Ask a 50 old person what they think about whatthey did and felt and thought when they where mature 30 years old
You are done when you die...
 
Last edited:
a-mole said:


i agree about pregnancy and AIDS
however, there is little education about other STDs that can be very annoying if not at all make you in fertile
several of these can be carried from genitalia to mouth to genitalia

most focus just on AIDS and pregnancy because these are the most prominent ones. However, diseases tha were thought to have diminished in teh western world are rapidly comming back.
Syphilis
Clamydia etc.



all good points.

though, to me, oral sex feels much more impersonal than intercourse.

though, in my opinion, the most intimate thing is kissing.
 
Irvine511 said:

though, in my opinion, the most intimate thing is kissing.

maybe that's true, remember when Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman would have sex w/ Richard Gere but refused to kiss him? :wink:

let's all hide in this thread and talk about kissing and sex :help:
 
as far as i know thi sis supposed to be somewhat of a code for prostitutes - as they too need to have something to save fore their private lifes.
I can generally say that everything that involves my mouth is far more intimiate to me than the mere act of sex.
As stated before - i really do thin it is overrated - if one compares it to how much ado (ok - stealing from shakespear her - no idea if taht word still exists) they mae around it, while everything else involving intimacy is forgotten.
 
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