Monogamy Isn't Realistic? - U2 Feedback

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Old 08-05-2005, 12:07 PM   #1
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Monogamy Isn't Realistic?

Not that Kate Hudson is some expert but it seems like so many people feel that way. Not to mention the way she says if her husband cheats, she just doesn't want to know. I think maybe most people want to know.

So is monogamy unrealistic ?



Hudson: Couples Have 'Power' for Monogamy
Aug 5, 7:40 AM EST


The Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Kate Hudson says monogamy isn't "realistic," but believes couples have the power to be faithful. In an interview Thursday on syndicated TV show "Access Hollywood," the 26-year-old actress said, "I don't believe (monogamy) is realistic. But, I believe that we, as people, have the power to make it happen."

She added: "I will not disrespect my husband and stray."

Hudson, the daughter of actress Goldie Hawn, married Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson on Dec. 31, 2000. The couple have an 18-month-old son, Ryder.

Asked if she believes Robinson has remained faithful, Hudson said, "If you focus your attention on that, then you are always wondering if your husband or men are out there cheating on you.

"If for some reason, that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know. As long as things are good in our house, just please, don't get caught."
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Old 08-05-2005, 12:37 PM   #2
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things aren't good in your house if your husband is cheating on you.

if she thinks monogamy 'isn't realistic', then why did they get married? and why would be it be disrespectful for her to cheat on him, but okay for him to cheat on her just so long as she doesn't know about it?

ugh.

i think long term monogamy is a lot of work, but i don't think it's unrealistic if that's what both partners truly want. sure, everyone gets tempted at some point, but that doesn't mean monogamy is unrealistic.
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Old 08-05-2005, 12:49 PM   #3
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if thats what he's got to do?
Got to do?

since when does somebody HAVE to cheat on their spouse?
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Old 08-05-2005, 01:05 PM   #4
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^ No kidding. That statement makes both men and women look bad.

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Old 08-05-2005, 01:16 PM   #5
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I think she is trying to be realistic about the situation they are in. They probably both get a lot of people interested in them, and she can only speak for herself about how she will react. But I do find it interesting that she doesn't want to know. I broke up with someone because we disagreed on that topic. He said if you cheat don't tell me. I said if you cheat I need to know. But that's because our interpretation of the situation was different. He thought telling would make an affair important. I believe not telling makes a wedge between two people. It sounds like Kate believes the former, and it's understandable given the guy is a rock star and more likely to have a one time fling.
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Old 08-05-2005, 01:20 PM   #6
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IMO, if you don't want to have honesty and trust, then really, what kind of relationship do you have?
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Old 08-05-2005, 01:26 PM   #7
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I hear where she is comming from but if you cannot trust your husband than what kinda of a marriage is that. Just because he's a rock star doesn't mean he cannot keep it in his pants.
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Old 08-05-2005, 01:32 PM   #8
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Actually I have a lot of respect for Kat Hudson coming out and being honest about this.

If you're married to a rock star, and he's really the love of your life and there's no one else for you, I think you've accepted the fact this is his lifestyle and she can't or doesn't seem intent on changing him, which I think can cause a lot of resentment in marriages. It's the way their marriage works, and she's not trying to lie to herself that it can be another way.

Some marriages are not steeped in this lifestyle, he is probably gone for awhile and she can't always be with him, so this is the choice they both have come up with. I think that is kind of honorable that she is being so realistic about it. Some marriages it wouldn't work, but isn't it better that they realise this than marry and it end in divorce and anger? I would think she was stupid if she didn't know it was going to happen.
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Old 08-05-2005, 01:57 PM   #9
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from the same interview
Kate got some very good advice about raising her child from mom Goldie and mom's partner, Kurt Russell.

Goldie's words to Kate?

"Just remember that the second that baby comes out of you, it no longer belongs to you. You no longer possess that child. It's the best lesson you'll ever learn as a mother.


"That is a great philosophy on raising children," Billy said. "[Goldie] also has a great quote that I've been wrestling with as I read, 'All men cheat. They sow their seed. That's what they do'… if that's true then Chris, your husband cheats. I cheat, Kurt cheats."....

To me there is nothing more attractive when I see my husband finding another woman attractive."

"Really? That doesn't make you jealous?" Billy wondered.

"No," Kate said with a laugh.


Finding another woman attractive is one thing, and a natural human tendency.

And all men don't cheat either at least I hope they don't, maybe I'm just hopelessly naive

That "sow their seed" thing bugs me, as if men have no self-control and are controlled by..well you know
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Old 08-05-2005, 04:26 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
[B]

That "sow their seed" thing bugs me, as if men have no self-control and are controlled by..well you know
My dad always told me not think with the wrong head
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Old 08-05-2005, 04:42 PM   #11
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The "natural" argument that men cannot be monogamous is a cheap, modern cop-out.

My genetics eliminate my need for personal responsiblity. Right
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Old 08-05-2005, 04:59 PM   #12
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Sounds like a lot of justification and rationalization is going on there in her head.
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Old 08-05-2005, 05:01 PM   #13
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17 years my poor wife has been with me counting dating....

She is in good shape, I am an ugly bastard and no one else would have me
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Old 08-06-2005, 06:43 PM   #14
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It does make men and women look bad....and rightfully so. We are bad.

The urge to be unfaithful and deceitful is pretty much the standard operating procedure in the world. People want happiness and they have had it for so long that they feel entitled to it now.

The reality is that there are a great many things worse than your spouse having a few flaws and peccadillos. If your sex life is bad, you can either improve it by discussing it with your partner or you can move on down to the next dildo attached to a heart. It all depends on your priorities.

But no monogamy is not realistic..and it probably kills kate hudson to stay faithful to her husband otherwise she wouldnt be rationalizing it so. People who are truly happy with each other dont think about those things too much

In the world we live in it is perfectly acceptable to have a lover on the side because the consequence of doing that is getting a divorce and nothing is more acceptable to most people than divorce...hell in some states you can fill out that paperwork and have it over with in a weekend....its no big deal...I dont agree with the attitude that divorce is no big deal and I have an extraordinarily low amount of respect for humanity in general but no matter how much I protest (or anyone else for that matter) the world is going to spin the way it wishes to spin...and as long as something is socially acceptable no matter how vile whether it be murder, rape, divorce, adultery,...whatever.....it will become more and more commonplace with time...people will do what they have always done....lose a little bit of their conscience with each step along the way.
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Old 08-06-2005, 07:10 PM   #15
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I think the underlying philosophy of a lot of arguments here is that anything contrary to monogamy is automatically evil. For a lot of people (and myself), I understand why we'd be offended by that.

However, there are also some relationships and marriages that are explicitly open. As long as Kate Hudson and her husband have mutually agreed upon rules and are okay with it, I frankly don't care what they do with their lives.

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