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Old 03-29-2003, 05:25 AM   #1
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Ministry of Information - British are "sick dogs"

He says that British troops have destroyed 75,450 tons of humanitarian goods. hmmmmm..... very interesting. 1,508,000,000 pounds of food and medicine. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 1.5 Billion pounds of food and medicine. I would like to see the pictures of the British troops disposing of this. Right now the large ships bringing in humanitarian aid are bringing in anywhere between 200 and 500 tons of aid. This man is insane!!! he also says there are no Iraqi militia dressing in civilian clothing .

I was thinking of watching a funny movie tonight, but this guy had me rolling on the floor, so I got my comedy fix.
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Old 03-29-2003, 08:30 AM   #2
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The should give that guy from the Iraqi Ministry of "Information" his own show on Comedy Central.
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Old 03-29-2003, 09:31 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
The should give that guy from the Iraqi Ministry of "Information" his own show on Comedy Central.
Yes, i am looking forward to red nose day 2004.
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Old 03-29-2003, 12:10 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
The should give that guy from the Iraqi Ministry of "Information" his own show on Comedy Central.
That'd be hilarious! I saw the British troops with the aid. They were getting it ready to give to Iraqis, not destroying it. I noticed the name of the aid ship is "Sir Galahad". Not really relevant but an interesting name for a ship.
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Old 03-29-2003, 01:49 PM   #5
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didnt he also say they shot down 200 cruise missiles just the other day -- that day alone!
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Old 03-29-2003, 01:58 PM   #6
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didnt he also say they shot down 200 cruise missiles just the other day -- that day alone!
I'm not sure. I started to lose track of all the absurdity that was flowing out of his mouth. And sometimes I would miss something because I was laughing so hard.
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Old 03-29-2003, 04:03 PM   #7
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Don't forget the old farmer who took out an Apache helicopter with a bolt action rifle......
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Old 03-30-2003, 11:47 AM   #8
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If we can't get the Information Minister himself to do Comedy Central maybe they can cast a comic actor as him and have him do the show.
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Old 03-31-2003, 03:14 PM   #9
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It looks like our buddy in the Ministry of "Information" has a side-kick: Iraqi Foreign Minister Naji Sabri.

Today, Sabri was quoted on CNN as saying the U.S.-led coalition is being "defeated on all fronts and [is] retreating in the face of strong strikes."
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Old 03-31-2003, 03:36 PM   #10
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You see the power of having one American dumbass (Peter Arnett) going on Iraqi TV, saying that our war plan didn't work and that we are stopping, regrouping and writing up new plans. This drives more absured statements like the one from Sabri, which in turns raises hopes and morale of Iraqi troops which in turn will cause more deaths on both sides IMO.
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Old 04-02-2003, 02:10 PM   #11
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From Comedy Central's newest star:

Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf said that U.S.-led forces have not crossed the Tigris River and are not approaching Baghdad. But they have lost significant numbers of troops and equipment, he said.

Read the full monologue on CNN
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Old 04-02-2003, 03:00 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
From Comedy Central's newest star:

Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf said that U.S.-led forces have not crossed the Tigris River and are not approaching Baghdad. But they have lost significant numbers of troops and equipment, he said.

Read the full monologue on CNN


thanks for posting that. that was just the belly laugh I needed to get me through the day. Some of my favorite parts:

-That the Coalition forces have lost many more troops than we admit. Yes, that's right, we'll just hope that the soldier's family and friends doesn't ask about them.

- That planes are flying low to destroy buildings and tombs with their vibrations. I think maybe staying under radar and out of enemy fire might be a more logical reason.

- And my favorite part:
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.

"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
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Old 04-02-2003, 06:18 PM   #13
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Edit: Well, I must read more thoroughly in the future...I was so fired up to post the pencil story that I didn't see womanfish had already done so. Still, I think that one's worth a double post.


Saeed al-Sahaf is really stepping up his game over the last week or two. Here's another recent gem from him:

******
The minister also said that coalition forces were throwing booby traps in the form of pens and pencils into Iraqi villages and townships.

"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.

"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
******

Methinks he's been watching too many Bond movies in his bunker.
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Old 04-03-2003, 01:21 PM   #14
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Even more from him today:

Saddam: 'Fight Them With Your Hands'
By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Press Writer

BAGHDAD, Iraq - With U.S. ground forces closing in fast, Saddam Hussein (news - web sites) exhorted the Iraqi people to "fight them with your hands," according to a statement read Thursday on Iraqi satellite television.


The statement, addressed to the people of the region southeast of Baghdad, was read by Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf. Saddam hasn't delivered a speech on TV since March 24, and it is unclear when that address was recorded.


"Fight them with your hands, God will disgrace them. God is great," Thursday's statement said.


At a news conference, Sahhaf disputed coalition claims of battle successes. "All this is to cover their disappointment and inability," he said.


"They are not even 100 miles (away from Baghdad). They are not anywhere. They are like a snake moving in the desert. They have no foothold in Iraq (news - web sites). ... They do not even control Umm Qasr," the information minister said, referring to the southern port city held by British forces.


Hoping to counter reports that allied forces had taken Saddam International Airport U.S. Central Command said its units were "in the vicinity" of the airport Iraqi officials took reporters to the facility Thursday afternoon.


The airport was deserted save for employees and armed guards. Three Iraqi Airways planes sat on the tarmac. The departure lounge was covered with a yellow coat of dust, left over from last week's two-day sandstorm.


On the nine-mile road to the airport from central Baghdad, a six-story purple-hued building thought to belong to one of Iraq's security agencies was severely damaged. A complex of low buildings along the road was almost completely destroyed. It was not clear who had occupied those buildings.


Sahhaf said Republican Guard forces battled coalition troops in the area south of Kut and "taught them lessons, a catastrophe," inflicting heavy casualties and forcing a coalition retreat. "We buried a lot of them today," he said.


He also claimed Iraqi forces had killed scores of coalition troops on Wednesday at Basra in the south.


"We're now trying to exhaust them, making them more tired until our leadership decides the time and method to clean our territory of their desecration," Sahhaf said.


The U.S. military reported only three Marines wounded in the fighting at Kut and said its forces were advancing into the outskirts of Baghdad unhindered by the Republican Guard.


Meanwhile, the air assault on Baghdad continued. The site of Baghdad's old airport was struck overnight by coalition aircraft. The target appeared to be a row of tin shelters which stretch for about a mile where the Trade Ministry stores hundreds of imported cars.


Iraqi Trade Minister Mohammed Mehdi Saleh accused coalition forces of breaking into Iraqi warehouses and stealing children's milk and supplies.


When asked where Saddam is and why he has not been seen on television, Saleh laughed.


"I think you have seen his picture," Saleh said, referring to silent footage that aired Wednesday of a smiling Saddam chairing a Cabinet meeting. "He is very calm, confident."
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Old 04-03-2003, 06:56 PM   #15
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My favorite Mohammed Saeed al-Sahafism for today:

"They're not even [within] 100 miles," he said. "They are not in any place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion. ... They are trying to sell to the others an illusion."

Apparently we sent David Copperfield over to lead the way.....
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