Middle School Fashion Bullies

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MrsSpringsteen

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I remember being made fun of once around middle school age for something I was wearing, but this is getting extreme. It's sad, and it doesn't just go on in wealthy places either.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119326834963770540.html?mod=todays_us_nonsub_pj

Teen and adolescent girls have long used fashion as a social weapon. In 1944, Eleanor Estes wrote "The Hundred Dresses," a book about a Polish girl who is made fun of for wearing the same shabby dress to school each day. The film "Mean Girls" in 2004 focused on fashion-conscious cliques among high-school teens. But today, guidance counselors and psychologists say, fashion bullying is reaching a new level of intensity as more designers launch collections targeted at kids.

In one study, more than one-third of middle-school students responded "yes" when asked whether they are bullied because of the clothes they wear. Susan M. Swearer, associate professor of school psychology at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, surveyed a total of more than 1,000 students at five Midwestern middle schools from 1999 to 2004, with about 56% of the sample female. While the prevalence of fashion bullies was greater in wealthy cities and towns, where more designer clothing is available, she found the problem is significant in poorer communities, too.

"Teens and adolescents are expected to wear not just any designer brands but the "right" ones. "The better brands you wear, the more popular you are," says Becky Gilker, a 13-year-old eighth-grader from Sherwood Park in the Canadian province of Alberta. "If you don't wear those things you get criticized." In many schools, the most expensive designer goods, such as those by Chanel or Louis Vuitton, have the highest social ranking among girls. But popular teen brands such as American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch and Aeropostale are also important. Miss Gilker says Hollister and Roxy are big logos at her school."
 
Oh, yeah, I got made fun of quite a bit in school for that crap, too. Hand-me-downs and stuff from Goodwill were just simply a no-no. If it wasn't Abercrombie and Fitch, or the Gap, or Old Navy, you just weren't "in".

It's ridiculous. Why does someone automatically assume they're better than me simply because they can afford fancier clothing? You can be wearing the most fashionable brand of clothes imaginable, but if you look down on people who don't dress like you, it doesn't make you cool, it makes you an arrogant snob.

Angela
 
Clothes don't matter as much now, IMO. If you're popular, whatever you're wearing is OK, it seems, because you're cool already.

I personally have never had any issues with the way I dress, though I'm a guy, so, it's not really a big deal anyway.
 
I'm a little confused about what exactly they mean by "bullying" in this context...are they more talking peer pressure, where your friends lecture you about how hopelessly uncool your clothes are? or are they talking kids other than your friends loudly taunting you in the hallway? or what? I don't know that I'd necessarily think of the former as "bullying," although it can be unpleasant.

Where I grew up there weren't enough people who could afford "cool" or "really nice" clothes for it to be much of an issue, although where I finished high school in NYC, there weren't many poor kids at all, and I can remember getting smirky "Nice outfit" "It's a Blue Light special!" and "It's the Brooklyn Hillbillies!" (added 'pun' on my accent)-type comments a few times. Then there were kids who weren't necessarily poor, but got similar comments for dressing "punk" or "hippie." I can't really recall kids actually teasing each other over specific brand names or fashion labels, although there were certainly ones like Firenza (sp.?) that obviously had more cachet than others.
 
I went to a Catholic high school which had a strict uniform policy so this was largely absent. But I remember it well in 7th/8th grade. To this day I wonder why some parents would buy their daughters thousands of dollars of clothes a year.
 
I was poked at and made fun of in middle school for the clothes I wore, too. Honestly, I don't see (and didn't see then) what the big deal is...they're just clothes. It's not life or death.

It's articles like these that make me feel that school uniforms aren't a bad option to consider, though.
 
ShipOfFools said:

It's articles like these that make me feel that school uniforms aren't a bad option to consider, though.

Yeah, I'm pretty torn about uniforms. I think this is a tender age. One that lends to torment, but also lends to self expression. I'm not convinced uniforms are the way to go, for there will always be "status" symbols that can be worn like shoes, jewelery, etc... I'm just not sure if you'll ever escape this.
 
Hasn't it has been proven by the likes of Charles Darwin, Jonas Salk, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking and just about every great mind that we've probably ever heard of that the biggest assholes on the face of the earth are adolescent kids who happen to be popular in school, for whatever reason.

I mean it's SCIENCE fuckers!!

In fact, I think Stephen Hawking once said, every 13 year old on the face of the earth should be able to murder at least one popular asshole 13 year old at some point. I think it's a plan worth considering. Some aspect of evolution. I bet the monkey's did it. You know they wouldn't have put up with this shit.

Okay, but seriously, what's less considered is that most of these assholes grow up to be assholes. They are indeed, everywhere.

The issue is about self-esteem on all accounts.
Teach your kids to have self-esteem, pride, confidence and do the best you can to let them know that the opinion of their school peers will mean ABSOLUTELY nothing about 2.2 seconds after they graduate high school and leave all those assholes behind.
 
Count me in the group of people who got picked on for what they wore.

I challenge anybody to say they seriously enjoyed middle school. What a God-awful, awkward, crappy time in peoples' lives.
 
U2DMfan said:
Hasn't it has been proven by the likes of Charles Darwin, Jonas Salk, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking and just about every great mind that we've probably ever heard of that the biggest assholes on the face of the earth are adolescent kids who happen to be popular in school, for whatever reason.

I mean it's SCIENCE fuckers!!


I have a friend at law school who took quite a few years off after college to raise a couple of kids. In high school she was one of the popular girls (still is to an extent) and apparently played a hand in torturing one specific girl who was in her mind a geek with no style and a total weirdo. We had our law recruitment first round interviews and hilarious thing is, we get the list of interviewers and for one of the biglaw firms, that girl is now a partner doing the interviewing. As you can imagine, my friend was absolutely horrified and humiliated. Just goes to show you that being evil to people as a kid can have a real way of biting you in the arse.
 
im all for uniforms. you don't have to think what to wear, everyone looks the same i.e shit, and it looks nice when your at assembly.

for the record, i loved high school. but i wore the same blue red and white checkered dress in summer, and the blue red and purple skirt, white blouse, blue and red tie, navy blue blazer and straw hat with a blue and red ribbon around it every day in winter.
conformity - thats what you need at high school!
 
I'm sure I got made fun of in middle school, but I did dress like crap. It didn't help that I was at least a year younger than most of the other kids. Not only did I not wear or care to wear the *right* brands, I couldn't even recognize them if I tried. Oh well, I'm over it. Stuff like that tended/tends to bounce right off me. In high school I developed more of a fashion sense, probably b/c "going out" meant wandering around the mall, not building forts in a leaf pile.
 
Clothes are just a visible excuse to create subordinate hegemonies (cliques) within a given structure (school). Changing your clothes isn't going to make the "popular kids" suddenly think that you're cool; instead, they'll just come up with a different excuse to maintain the status quo of hating you.

As for idealistic ideas of "co-existence" and "tolerance," far too many adults are quite happy to congregate into subordinate hegemonies of their own (race, class, religion, and/or political affiliation, etc.) to justify hating "the Other," so I really doubt that we can make our kids live up to a higher standard than the standard we give ourselves.
 
I had enough sports jerseys that I wasn't made fun of.

Well, except for the requisite Kobe LA Lakers one, but I wasn't a gangsta so I didn't feel the need for one.
 
I'm sorry, I've never been a fan of the idea of uniforms in school. If it isn't clothing that leads kids to getting picked on, it'll be something else. Okay, so we're all dressed the same. Someone can still be picked on because they're a "nerd". Or because they're gay. I had friends in middle school who got made fun of because they were disabled or overweight. You don't really solve anything with uniforms (and besides that, I could go to the mall and get harassed because of what I'm wearing. So what then? No uniforms to stop that problem there).

No, instead of enacting uniforms, what we should do is ask why parents aren't teaching their children not to make fun of kids who can't afford or don't wish to wear the same things their kids wear. Deal with the kids doing the teasing, don't punish everybody because a few kids can't understand that not everyone's able to dress like them or is into dressing like them.

Angela
 
I don't think uniforms would solve much either. Those kids figure out who is cool and who is not pretty quick.

Besides that, if they were here in Germany to try to introduce the uniform style like in England or Australia I would be opposed to that.
Not every child likes to run around in such old-fashioned, formal wear clothing, and I think it's nothing children should wear when they are meant to play in the breaks.
I would certainly not have liked to wear those clothes.
Instead, just a normal sweatshirt or pullover and normal trousers should do it.
Nevertheless, the wrong haircut or whatever still would render you uncool just the same.

This reminds me of quite some years ago when my brother got a Levi's 501 from my uncle. He didn't have use for it anymore and my brother grew really fast back then.
When he entered the school bus the one kid who was into all this fashion clothing (although his parents didn't really have much money) immediately said, "He, you're wearing a Levi's!", as it was very uncommon for us to wear such clothing. My parents were happy they could feed us.
 
I actually loved having a uniform. It was easy to decide what to wear in the morning, my parents didn't have to spend loads of money on my clothes and because I bought so few other things, I could actually get really nice stuff that I wanted from my own part time jobs rather than accumulating crap.

I don't really put much stock into the self-expression argument. If you can't express yourself in ways more important than your clothing, that's not really going to do it either. I can tell you that despite the fact we all looked similar, people's very different personalities and styles still came through.
 
^^ Not to mention that quite a few jobs require very specific uniforms or dress codes, but I've never heard adults complain.
 
Liesje said:
^^ Not to mention that quite a few jobs require very specific uniforms or dress codes, but I've never heard adults complain.

Well I can use this as an argument against dress codes by saying this may be the only time in your life when you truly get to express yourself with what you wear, or how you wear, or your haircut, etc...
 
BonoVoxSupastar said:
Well I can use this as an argument against dress codes by saying this may be the only time in your life when you truly get to express yourself with what you wear, or how you wear, or your haircut, etc...

Well, I don't know anyone who is now scarred for life for having to wear a uniform as a kid. If uniforms are such a huge deal, there are other schools that don't use them, just like there are plenty of jobs that don't require them. Personally, anything that saves me even 30 extra seconds getting ready in the morning, I'm all for!!
 
Liesje said:


Well, I don't know anyone who is now scarred for life for having to wear a uniform as a kid. If uniforms are such a huge deal, there are other schools that don't use them, just like there are plenty of jobs that don't require them. Personally, anything that saves me even 30 extra seconds getting ready in the morning, I'm all for!!

No one said anyone is scarred for life, but expressing one's identity is a very important part of development, and very productive to learning. Now I understand that uniforms can take away certain distractions, but like many have stated earlier, there will always be something to bully someone over and maybe we should spend more time trying to address the root of the problem rather than covering it up.

And on the other point, yes it does make it easier, but that should never be a reason to mandate it.
 
Honestly, we also just looked better and neater. I didn't have to look at guys who had their pants down to their knees and so on. And they weren't ugly uniforms you would think of, either. Nowadays schools have fleece sweaters, nice sweatshirts, cute cardigans and so on.

Having gone to both schools with and without a mandated uniform, I can tell you that I prefer the latter BY FAR.
 
Hey I never said there was a correlation between uniforms and bullying/not bullying. I'm just saying I don't really believe that they are a bad thing, at ANY stage in life.
 
BonoVoxSupastar said:


Are you serious? That's dangerous thinking...

Quite the contrary, actually. I know my uniform was never singled out for being unstylish. It's certainly not dangerous thinking, in any way. If clothes and trends dictate confidence, then we're missing the bigger picture - and THAT is a dangerous thing. Your writing off of Amy's post flies in the face of most Australian schools surviving on uniformity and conformity and us all growing up as adjusted as our US counterparts.
 
Angela Harlem said:


Quite the contrary, actually. I know my uniform was never singled out for being unstylish. It's certainly not dangerous thinking, in any way. If clothes and trends dictate confidence, then we're missing the bigger picture - and THAT is a dangerous thing. Your writing off of Amy's post flies in the face of most Australian schools surviving on uniformity and conformity and us all growing up as adjusted as our US counterparts.

I just think preaching conformity, especially at the high school level is dangerous. It reminds me of 'Brick in the Wall'; "we don't need you thought control".

Why would you preach conformity to the future of your country? We're sold this idea all throughout high school that you are the future, you're the next generation, dream, go out and change the world... how can you do that and preach conformity at the same time?
 
Conformity to what? It's just an outfit..... Forcing everyone to take the EXACT same curriculum, write on the EXACT same paper topics, read all the same books, repeat word for word what the teacher is saying, rinse wash repeat....THAT is what I call conformity, not a plain sweater and pair of slacks.
 
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