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Old 12-07-2002, 06:20 PM   #31
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My personal view on marriage is that it's very holy and should not by any means be taken lightly.
I have a friend who is getting married in a couple of years, she has already booked the best Church, the best hall for her reception, has got to have the best dress, the best cake etc. This slightly worries me. It's not about having the best. It's about having you and your partner make a lifelong commitment. Be it in a shed or in St. Marks Cathedral, you have made the same vow and have stood before the same God.

When I get married, while I want it to be a special day, I don't want to have to have the best of anything, I want it to be simple. I want to stand before God and tell him/her that I intend to stay with this person for the rest of my life and will try with every bit of me to achieve that, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. At that time you also ask God into the situation and ask for his help to do this.

That's what marriage means to me, and I don't believe it should be taken lightly.

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Old 12-07-2002, 07:53 PM   #32
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Being a "cynic" myself I understand where you're coming from. Granted I believe in the schtick, I believe in true love, but just not for me...But when it is the right person (which is a whole other forum in itself) you know you're the ones for each other. Therefore your souls and hearts are forever joined never needing that little piece of government paper. But marriage, as in public, bazillions of friends and family, cake and gifts, and the church or whatever spiritual institution....marriage is just another way of cementing, of affirming, of declaring your love for one another. Its not the sole definer of the whole thing. Its just the icing on the cake...^_^

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Old 12-07-2002, 07:58 PM   #33
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And just to add...not that it pertains to my previous parents (technically he's my stepfather now, but he's more of a father than any of the others) are soulmates through and through...they didn't need the wedding, with my mom having been married three times before and my father also, the justice of the peace was fine. Because they knew. And also it was a day before the new year so they could file taxes cheaper... ^_^
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Old 12-08-2002, 04:04 AM   #34
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Marriage joins two families together, which you can't really do without the cert, if you know what I mean...

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Old 12-08-2002, 09:12 AM   #35
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Originally posted by foray
Marriage joins two families together
boy does it ever.

i'm glad my husband and i gave our families like 10 years to get to know each other, unlike some people in our family who get engaged after 2 months.

that was a little tough.
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Old 12-08-2002, 09:27 PM   #36
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I can't recall who made the original post, but

I feel sorry for people if they think it is to do with law and property and proving something and money. Dear o dear.....
o dear.
For those who still have some faith, enjoy the magic. Hub and I exchanged our vows in front of 4 people and had a fine picnic lunch to celebrate...very low on cost, but very immense on joy and love.
I don't know , you have to listen to your own heart. There is so much cynicism around now, it's a teeny bit sad.
J-lo and her situation is a result of the rarified air that wealth brings to such people. I feel sorry that they exist in such a world.
I think it's about trust (some lust, one would hope) and respect and devotion, excitement and hope ,commitment, change, adaptability and growth....and lots of laughing in our case.

I don't know the answer...what does it prove?
I just know ...I like it.
Our commitment of marriage doesn't mean we can't do things, everything is ultimately open for discussion. it means we do things with the benefit of someone else's ideas, opinions and support. That feels great to me.
It is not all clear sailing....I like the imagery of the ocean and boats and storms and navigation. We home made our first bed and I painted a ship on it, the Captain and his First Mate ( and something about going down together....more nautical terminology...nautical but nice)
Different strokes for different folks... plus what martha said..
Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
We are in our 21st year of marriage btw...and for those younguns who were once curious here about what old people get up to.......LOTS!!! even I'm delightfully surprised.

re: the idea it's all baout protection and divison of property....I know lots of women who have just walked away...with nothing. $$$ have nothing to do with it.It depends what is important to you and what kind of person you are. I think hub and I were incredibly happy when we lived in a tent for a year.
The best things in life....are not things.

peace lovers
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Old 12-08-2002, 10:52 PM   #37
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Wow, cass. I'm so glad you came back. That post was perfect.

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Old 12-09-2002, 09:01 AM   #38
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I like this thread.

This sort of subject has been lurking in my head as a new man has been introduced in my life, and it's giving me a lot to think about and consider.. what's important in life, what's wanted from me, what I want..

I liked reading this.
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Old 12-09-2002, 11:16 AM   #39
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I think marriage is wonderful for some people, and totally wrong for others. Only you know whether you're ready for a lifelong committment, and it's important to figure that out before getting married.
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Old 12-09-2002, 08:53 PM   #40
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Britney Spears cheating on Timberlake with Ben Affleck:


what till J-ASS finds out!

BTW the fines for cheating....are applicable for J-ASS too, I bought StarMagazine last week, and there are like 2 full pages about the ordeal

I was bored ok?
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Old 12-11-2002, 03:41 AM   #41
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thanks Cass, that was beautiful.

BTW - weve been married now for 5 years. Do I still love my hubby the same as i did 5 years ago. NO!!!

I love him even more now.
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Old 12-11-2002, 12:28 PM   #42
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Originally posted by AM

I love him even more now.

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Old 12-12-2002, 11:25 PM   #43
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The declaration of marriage is supposed to be a public thing, whence the huge ceremony. ("Public" meaning "not private," but not necessarily "in front of the entire world.")

Once you get married in front of the state or the church, that guy or girl who has secretly been lusting after you for the last N years is supposed to know that your union with your spouse is to be permanent and inviolate. And if your marriage fails, you are not just failing yourself, your spouse and your family, you are also failing your community by breaking the vow you made in public.
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Old 12-12-2002, 11:32 PM   #44
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Originally posted by madamc

wait [sic] till J-ASS finds out!

J-ASS? A bit juvenile don't you think?

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