the iron horse
Rock n' Roll Doggie
America is under attack by a brutal industry that peddles death for profit to the American people. Every day nearly 2,400 Americans are cut down by heart disease, nearly one every 34 seconds, creating the largest and most likely cause of death in America.
Backed by addicted fanatics and corporate tycoons this industry targets not only consenting adults, but children as well, with $5 billion spent on Halloween alone. To solve this cycle of violence and fear I propose several steps:
1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.
2) Back ground check to make sure they are healthy enough to eat the candy. Giving candy to an unhealthy person puts their life and the lives of others around them in jeopardy, and is not only unethical but should be illegal.
3) Ban high capacity candy containers. Why does someone need to have upwards of sixteen mints and/or Life Savers? These products only encourage dangerous eating behavior and no rational person has any use for them.
4) Outlaw the manufacturing, sale, and possession of certain candies that are so bad for you that they lack any reasonable nutritional value. These candies have only one purpose, to inflict bodily harm on those who eat them.
Backed by addicted fanatics and corporate tycoons this industry targets not only consenting adults, but children as well, with $5 billion spent on Halloween alone. To solve this cycle of violence and fear I propose several steps:
1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.
2) Back ground check to make sure they are healthy enough to eat the candy. Giving candy to an unhealthy person puts their life and the lives of others around them in jeopardy, and is not only unethical but should be illegal.
3) Ban high capacity candy containers. Why does someone need to have upwards of sixteen mints and/or Life Savers? These products only encourage dangerous eating behavior and no rational person has any use for them.
4) Outlaw the manufacturing, sale, and possession of certain candies that are so bad for you that they lack any reasonable nutritional value. These candies have only one purpose, to inflict bodily harm on those who eat them.