i've thought about this thread all day. aside from the traditional "to love and be loved in return," which has only really happened to me once, and that made me euphorically happy at points, what makes me happy is a sense of accomplishment that i know will please my parents.
i think happiness is conditioned. as a child, you're rewarded for certain kinds of behavior, and the world i grew up in was very suburban, very achievement oriented, and the measure of a person was some kind of mathematical formula derived from GPA, SAT scores, athletic/musical accomplishments, and volunteer activities. and the pearly gates, as it were, was getting into an Ivy League college. i think i was brought up in a world of conditional worth -- where your worth was contingent upon your proving just how deserving you were, as measured by accomplishment, of the privileged environment in which you grew up.
i know this is crap, and that resumes mean shit and what matters is how you treat other people, including yourself. but to this day, nothing makes me happier than a job well done, praise from a superior, and a tangible sense of progress made on a path towards some undefinable long-term career goal.
i wish i could break myself of this habit, and identifying it is the first step, but it does scare me how much my self-esteem is tied up in the feedback i receive from others. my opinion counts least.
You just described my ex-in-process. He thinks he's a very happy content guy.
heh
