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Old 08-15-2001, 03:09 AM   #16
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17 years ago today, my Dad died. I was so young I couldn't even begin to comprehend all the ways his dying would be a "bad thing" in my life. Still to this day, when I'm at a wedding reception, I leave the room when the bride dances with her father, it's just too painful for me to watch knowing I never got that opportunity.

And yet with all this said (and a few tears in my eyes) I still can't say that my Dad's death was a bad thing. He had been sick for such a long time and he was in so much pain that it was really okay that he went. I knew my Dad was at the point that he would not recover, so the greatest gift I could give him at the time was my love and support to go ahead and go onto the next adventure. But I sure do miss him.
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Old 08-15-2001, 03:45 AM   #17
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"Maybe I didn't mean it to sound that way, but when you come to it, who gives us life? (If you believe in the god) GOD? And who is the only person who can take our life, our existance from this world away? God. "

I don't know, humans seem to be terribly efficient in taking their fellow humans' lives away, and they continue to do so every day, often inflicting terrible torture and suffering on their victims as they do so.
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Old 08-15-2001, 02:27 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Saracene:
"Maybe I didn't mean it to sound that way, but when you come to it, who gives us life? (If you believe in the god) GOD? And who is the only person who can take our life, our existance from this world away? God. "

I don't know, humans seem to be terribly efficient in taking their fellow humans' lives away, and they continue to do so every day, often inflicting terrible torture and suffering on their victims as they do so.
Yes, that's true also. I often wonder why people kill. But if you want to think about it really profound... why did that happened? Why are people serial killers/murders? Was it their choice? Were they meant to be that way since birth? I dunno, everything is too out of order to make sense of.... yes, we all make choices in life and one of them is to kill someone, even of course its a horrible and wrong choice, but is it written in a book, that it was supposed to be that way? I mean, are we the creaters and makers of our own fate or has our fate been written for us, by God? Ok, maybe I'm confusing here (lol) but I think about crazy stuff like that. Like I said, to me that Q is hard to answer and no one really knows the answer.



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Old 08-15-2001, 02:55 PM   #19
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"Some people curse God because roses have thorns.
Some people praise God, because among the thorns, He has placed roses."

I'm no psychotherapist (but I seem to play one towards myself...Hmmmmm)
But I have to believe that one HAS got to "let go" of a loved one, after his/her death.
There IS a natural healing process, and I believe one of the last steps is "acceptance".
And, as with most other things in life, "acceptance" IS a choice that one has to make. It's not a "feeling" that one waitings to come along.
I HATED that my mother died of cancer. I wanted to die myself... but, after a time, I realized I had to go on. I actually "let go".
I STILL cry, yes. I still feel sad. But I also feel great joy in the blessings of my life. You know, after a time, when I did NOT constantly think of my mother's death and felt sad about it,... I felt GUILTY! "How dare I not moupe (sp?) and hang my head and shake my fists and cry out!????".
But I think, would my mother want me to have this grief "hanging around my neck" for the rest of my life!?? She'd be down-right upset over that! She'd probably tell me that she, herself DID have a great life, and despite it being cut short, she was just fine... now and forever. She'd want me to "honor" her by remembering the GREAT times I had with her...AND now creating NEW great times with MY children (if I ever get any) and my loved ones.

God heals. Faith heals. Love heals.
But it seems you have to meet them halfway, and take a chance.
BUT it's well worth it.


(.... Man, who writes this mushy stuff!!!! )


Peace.
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Old 08-15-2001, 10:40 PM   #20
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"Yes, that's true also. I often wonder why people kill. But if you want to think about it really profound... why did that happened? Why are people serial killers/murders? Was it their choice? Were they meant to be that way since birth?"

I think that the scariest thing is, most killings in history of the world were probably done by completely sane and normal people, who killed and tortured other people because their governments or religious leaders told them to.
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Old 08-16-2001, 12:19 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trash Can:
[BI HATED that my mother died of cancer. I wanted to die myself... but, after a time, I realized I had to go on. I actually "let go".
I STILL cry, yes. I still feel sad. But I also feel great joy in the blessings of my life. You know, after a time, when I did NOT constantly think of my mother's death and felt sad about it,... I felt GUILTY! "How dare I not moupe (sp?) and hang my head and shake my fists and cry out!????".Peace.[/B]
TC, that is touching. I know how you feel. I felt that way after my brother and father died.

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Old 08-16-2001, 03:03 AM   #22
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That was beautiful Trash Can, and your right about letting go of the one's who passed away. And I can understand and relate to the feeling "guilty" when you don't think about the death of that loved one everyday. Im kinda going through this myself right now. I'm learning to "let go." Its really, really hard though.

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[This message has been edited by SweetOnU2 (edited 08-15-2001).]
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Old 08-16-2001, 07:00 PM   #23
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I'm so afraid of death. I just hate the fact that someday I'll be gone while the earth will still be spinning. I'm so jealous of people who can deal with that. But I guess it's the only way to overcome this fear, by facing it and accepting it, like a natural thing, a normal part of the life process.
We can't always run away from it. It's like trying to hide from our own shadow, I think.
Anyway, forget this theory. I'm still afraid of it. I don't want to die!




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Old 08-16-2001, 07:08 PM   #24
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I don't want to die, either!
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me (plus... I'd need a change of underwear).

Fear... is natural. Obsessive fear, or irrational fear is not. I can't and won't spend my life curled up in the fetal position in some dark corner, though. I may die 5 minutes from now ( Boy that would really bumm out these library people, too!)
or 60 years from now ( ohhh God, Thats TOO much!), BUT right now... I live. I'm grateful and I TRY to be joyous.

Just be careful, be healthy, be smart, and enjoy what you have.
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Old 08-17-2001, 09:25 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trash Can:
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me
you'd be more afraid of the gun then of dying. i know that the gun would be the thing causing your dead but still.

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Old 08-17-2001, 10:17 AM   #26
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Death is the start of something new. Its as much part of our lifes as it is to be born.
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Old 08-20-2001, 12:19 AM   #27
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No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

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Old 08-20-2001, 02:52 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

((({{{STU234}}})))

Giving you a big hug and a kiss on the forehead 'cause that's what I do when I don't know what to say.

What's got you feeling so down? There are alot of kind people out here who could probably share some words of wisdom that might help.



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Old 08-20-2001, 07:14 AM   #29
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Coincidentally, I was at a funeral today. And the thing that I have worked out about death that is so hard to deal with is the lack of control we have once that person is gone. Sure, death itself is inevitable. But after they are gone, we have no way of channeling or controlling the feeling of loss. We cant do anything to get rid of or lessen the pain, the loss, the 'if only's' that go through our minds. Nothing makes it easier. I have been trying to think of any situation that matches that and couldn't. I personally always manage to find a way to deal with bad things, it may not be easy, and it may take a great deal of time, but I got there in the end. I suppose the pain fades with death, and the memories are easier as we remember the good things and not the pain and hurt. But its a time thing, and we cannot mentally or emotionally speed it up or actively do something to help ourselves.

ST, I dont have wise words for you. But I know that life is hard, it is depressing, its many bad things. Its also very busy, and events happen, people affect you, your circumstances change constantly. Whatever is bad doesnt stay bad for long. I wont say it will pass whatever it is that has you sad. But whatever it is may change, end or get pushed back in your day to day prioities as time goes on. Some things we never forget or get over, but nothing will be on the forefront of your mind to burden you forever. It may be overtaken by more heart ache and tragedy, it may not. No one knows, and that can be hard. It takes an unfortunate soul to experience a life of pain with no happiness amongst it to balance out the hurt. I hope you arent one of those. I also hope you can draw strength from something, somewhere in your life right now.
Take care.
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Old 08-20-2001, 09:44 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks


Hmmm... I don't know if this was meant as a joke, or just a "flipant" remark.

STU, I don't believe you.

"I'd give anything to be dead right now"?
Buddy... Death is free. Death is "easy".
To kill oneself doesn't cost anything (monitarily). You can do it anytime you like...


BUT, I don't think YOU want to die!!!!


"Life sucks"???

Really?
WHY?

And you think death does NOT suck? You think you are free from pain in the afterlife??... IF you choose to take your own life.

Life... and DEATH has its conscequences.

Or do you NOT believe in God???
No wonder you think life sucks!

YOU WANT THE PAIN TO STOP... Not your life to stop.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

There is hope. There is a better way. There is an answer. There is JOY... Joy... Imagine that!????

But, it's not easy.
"To end suffering takes great suffering."
"Consequences".

Do you want it?
Hope? Joy?

You CAN have it.

But, you need to admit that, "There is a God... And it's NOT you."

You cannot get out of this alone. You just can't. Sorry.

You need help. WE ALL DO.

YOU make the first move... You reach out for help... And it will all start to get better.
"Domino Effect".

BUT, No one can do it for you. YOU have got to want to.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnn. You CAN do it!

Life is pain... yes. Life is not fair. Yes.

BUT here we all are... in the middle of it...

And there ARE "Roses among the thorns".

I'll pray for you STU234. Will you pray for me too???




May God show you his Grace.
(ohhh, darn... BUT, you have to look for THAT too!!!)


In the words of James Brown, "Get up!!!! Get on up!!"


Peace
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