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Old 08-10-2005, 01:53 PM   #61
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I think it might be interesting to hear how men define masculinity
It would be an interesting thread. I've never given it much thought. I've been labeled all over the scale of masculine/ feminine and really haven't cared either way.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:03 PM   #62
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masculinity is a *very* intersting subject ... i've got many thoughts on the subject, and even took a course called "Masculinity: History and Theory," which was fascinating.

would love to hear what FYM thinks is masculine and what we mean when we say "masculinity" and whether or not it is necessarily linked to gender, or even to sex (not the act).

i'd posit that masculinity is just about the most sexually and sensually appealing thing i can think of. i think society celebrates and fetishizes feminine sexuality (or cartoonish approximations of the male gaze's view of feminine sexuality). but i do think it's true that things that are generally coded as sexual are feminine -- lace, satin, roses, chocolate, lingere, perfume, red and pink and white, blond hair, big boobies, etc. hence, the heterosexualy view. i'd argue that there are many equally powerful signs and signifiers of masculine sexuality -- would love to hear what straight girls think, for them to try to remove themselves from the oppressive Playboy view of sexuality and to write about those specifically masculine things (and i don't mean body parts ... i mean feelings, emotions, visions, smells, etc.)
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:06 PM   #63
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Did anyone see that Southpark episodes where they all turned 'metrosexual'? Hilarious.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:08 PM   #64
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Did anyone see that Southpark episodes where they all turned 'metrosexual'? Hilarious.


i'd call metrosexuality the feminization of masculinity.

it's actually little to do with homosexuality. it's more what heterosexuality imagines homosexuality to be, and then tries to sell that to men by telling them that women want them to be more "gay" -- or more like David Beckham.

all very silly, if you ask me.

but then again ... i do use special cleanser (*not* soap) and toner and moisturizer every night.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:10 PM   #65
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Originally posted by Irvine511
all very silly, if you ask me.
Yes and with their usual sledgehammer wit they made that point quite clear in the episode!
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:11 PM   #66
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Yes and with their usual sledgehammer wit they made that point quite clear in the episode!


aren't they wonderful?

the J-Lo episode ("fulfill my wishes with taco-flavored kisses") was one of the finest pieces of television ever.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:15 PM   #67
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aren't they wonderful?

the J-Lo episode ("fulfill my wishes with taco-flavored kisses") was one of the finest pieces of television ever.
Missed that one but they did an episode with 'Paris Hilton' that showed her puking constantly from all the alcohol she had consumed the night before. They certainly know how to push the boat out!
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:19 PM   #68
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the J-Lo episode ("fulfill my wishes with taco-flavored kisses") was one of the finest pieces of television ever.
That was freakin' hilarious. Twisted as hell, but hilarious.

Angela
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:29 PM   #69
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
masculinity is a *very* intersting subject ... i've got many thoughts on the subject, and even took a course called "Masculinity: History and Theory," which was fascinating.

would love to hear what FYM thinks is masculine (not the act).

So start the thread please

I think masculinity as it's usually been defined conjures up negative stereotypes for me. I guess what I find truly masculine is the opposite of the stereotype. I'm talking mostly about feelings, sensitivity, gentleness - that sort of thing.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:34 PM   #70
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^ agreed. i think gentleness -- especially when you know you can be strong, the putting aside of strength for tenderness -- is a very masculine trait.

what else?

(or maybe i should start a new thread ...)
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Old 08-10-2005, 03:47 PM   #71
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
I think masculinity as it's usually been defined conjures up negative stereotypes for me. I guess what I find truly masculine is the opposite of the stereotype. I'm talking mostly about feelings, sensitivity, gentleness - that sort of thing.
Ditto. I've never been one for finding the whole stereotypical macho "guys who cry are sissies"/prove their manhood by acting like jerks and doing stupid stuff/etc. type of attitude attractive. I'm into the sweet, sensitive, caring guys as well...I basically think a guy who treats people with respect and is kind-hearted and cares for his family and friends and all that, and who will only fight if it's in self-defense or defense of their loved ones, is a real man.

Angela
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Old 08-10-2005, 03:57 PM   #72
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Strength of character, independence, patience, humor, gentleness, honesty, physical presence, energy, sense of purpose, intelligence, nonconfrontational but not backing off either, helpful, generous, practical, a little arrogant. Sure of himself. Passionate about something.
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Old 08-10-2005, 04:04 PM   #73
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Originally posted by BonosSaint
Strength of character, independence, patience, humor, gentleness, honesty, physical presence, energy, sense of purpose, intelligence, nonconfrontational but not backing off either, helpful, generous, practical, a little arrogant. Sure of himself. Passionate about something.
Or, you know, what BonosSaint said . Put it better than I did.

Angela
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Old 08-10-2005, 05:11 PM   #74
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Originally posted by BonosSaint
Strength of character, independence, patience, humor, gentleness, honesty, physical presence, energy, sense of purpose, intelligence, nonconfrontational but not backing off either, helpful, generous, practical, a little arrogant. Sure of himself. Passionate about something.


these are all wonderful words, and i totally agree with you ... however we could use them to describe a person of either gender.

just for the sake of discussion, i suppose i'm just curious to see if there are traits/qualities out there that are almost exclusively masculine (and you might argue that to be exclusively mascuilne it would need a feminine antonym ... and these words could be used to describe a woman, but it might be a masculine trait ... or is this just getting waaaay too comlicated?)

from the ones you listed, i'd choose:

gentleness
physical presence
sure of himself

i think i might also add:

calmness/tranquility
strength at rest
clarity of vision
grumpy (think about it ... would you ever call a woman grumpy?)
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Old 08-10-2005, 07:01 PM   #75
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grumpy (think about it ... would you ever call a woman grumpy?)
You should see me sometime when I'm forced to get up at 5 a.m.!

Seriously, I have big problems with associating certain traits as "masculine" and others as "feminine." It just puts people in boxes and keeps them from being who they really are because they fear it isn't socially acceptable.
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