"I Was Raped" T Shirt

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MrsSpringsteen

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NY Times

April 4, 2008


Rape Worn Not on a Sleeve, but Right Over the Heart

By SUSAN DOMINUS

“Raped.”

The single word emblazoned on the T-shirt didn’t have an exclamation point at the end of it, but it didn’t need to: It looked as if it had been spray-painted in big, black letters against the backdrop of the white shirt.

Jennifer Baumgardner, a 37-year-old writer and feminist activist based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, held the T-shirt up in a Midtown restaurant earlier this week and looked at it skeptically. “Totally harsh,” she said. “Shocking.”

That T-shirt was one of a few that Ms. Baumgardner had considered, and rejected, as a key component of a multimedia rape awareness project she has initiated. She wouldn’t be wearing the T-shirt herself — she has never been the victim of a sexual assault — but she planned to distribute it, at the college campuses where she frequently speaks and through a sex education Web site called Scarleteen.com.

Three years ago, Ms. Baumgardner earned some notoriety and also some high-profile support for a T-shirt she distributed that said, in simple block letters, “I had an abortion.” Gloria Steinem, the indie rock star Ani DiFranco, and the feminist lawyer and political commentator Susan Estrich wore the T-shirt in public venues; the Planned Parenthood Federation of America sold hundreds in a matter of days, but didn’t renew the order when it sold out (the shirt was highly controversial among affiliate chapters).

Abortion and rape are subjects that are secreted away and are also surprisingly common, Ms. Baumgardner said. One in six women is a victim of sexual assault, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, a nonprofit sexual assault prevention and education group. According to the Department of Justice, 60 percent of sexual assaults go unreported.

As she has been interviewing women for a film she is making about sexual assault, Ms. Baumgardner has heard women describing the usual reasons why they frequently don’t report rapes — shame, humiliation, fear that they wouldn’t be believed, or that they themselves had somehow provoked the attack. “By having an object like this” — a simple T-shirt — “that’s so mundane, it sort of forces it into everyday conversation,” Ms. Baumgardner said.

Eliminating the hushed tones that surround the subject might help more women talk about their experience (and possibly seek prosecution of their attackers), she said. But she also believes that for some sexual assault victims, the shirt’s impact may have more to do with their own reaction to it than with what they fear from total strangers.

“So many people who’ve been raped tend to doubt the experience,” she said. “I do think it’s often empowering for women and men to own that experience and divest themselves of some of the shame and secrecy of it — and realize that they’re not the ones that should be ashamed,” she said.

The design of the T-shirt for her project proved more challenging than the one for abortion. If the abortion T-shirt was a bold affirmation of choice, this one would be just the opposite — a public statement of victimhood. Could that ever be empowering?

She pulled out another T-shirt that she felt provided the more necessary context. The pale pink shirt showed a safe with its door open. Sitting inside the safe was a small note that said, in simple handwriting, “I was raped.”

The image doesn’t shock; it’s more like an extended metaphor, with a declaration hidden within. “The wearer isn’t advertising that he or she was raped,” Ms. Baumgardner said, “but rather opening up to you, the viewer, and also saying that this is a small part of who he or she is.”

On Tuesday, Christen Clifford, a 36-year-old actress and writer whom Ms. Baumgardner interviewed for her film, volunteered to wear the shirt in public. A firm believer in addressing taboos — her one-woman show, “BabyLove,” addresses maternal sexuality — Ms. Clifford was interested in gauging the response the shirt would generate, both her own and the public’s.

Sitting in a West Village coffee shop, wearing the shirt, Ms. Clifford described her own experience with rape. She was 15 when she was attacked by a man in his early twenties. A tall, long-limbed woman, she folded her arms across her chest as she spoke; she all but huddled over the tiny table. The waitress took no notice of the shirt; the woman sitting inches away with whom she’d briefly chatted about a free chair was equally oblivious.

Still, as Ms. Clifford walked out the door, intending to wear the T-shirt to pick up her preschooler around the corner, it was easy to worry on her behalf about the other mothers’ reactions. Would they assume her son’s mother was deeply damaged, not just by the information displayed on the shirt, but by her choice to announce it on a pale pink T-shirt?

That kind of judgment turned out not to be what Ms. Clifford most feared — she was tired of worrying about other people’s assessment of her as a victim. “There really are so few spaces where it’s considered appropriate to talk about it,” said Ms. Clifford, recalling a dinner party where her experience came up inadvertently and brought all conversation to an uncomfortable halt.

What she most feared, she said, was wearing the shirt past a group of young men. “I’d be afraid that it would invite the same derision and hostility that I associate with the rape,” she said. The freshness of that fear surprised her, and that insight alone, she said, made the experience worthwhile.

Ms. Baumgardner thinks the shirts will most likely be worn at some of the Take Back the Night rallies that will be happening on campuses around the country this month. (April is Sexual Assault Awareness month.) But beyond that, she says, she has no preconceived notions about the way the T-shirts should be worn, or not worn, in the general public. “People I know who support me in general have told me they are really grossed out by the T-shirt,” she said. “But there’s no shortage of people reaching out to me.”

If her project starts a conversation, it won’t be a quiet one, which is just what Ms. Baumgardner wants.
 
KATU.com

080404_Raped_shirt.jpg


SEATTLE -- You just might run into someone wearing a T-shirt that states: "I was raped."

The phrase is printed across a new shirt sold online from a Seattle-based organization founded by a local rape survivor.

Heather Corrina's Web site Scarleteen.com offers teens "sex ed for the real world." The site offers detailed information on a wide array of topics having to do with sexuality in an attempt to educate teens and young adults and to encourage open, ongoing conversation.

The T-shirt campaign is a part of the "I was raped" project, which also includes a documentary. The project, for which Corrina teamed up with feminist writer Jennifer Baumgardner, aims to highlight the prevalence of rape and to help victims break their silence.

Corrina says when she was raped years ago, she didn't even understand exactly what had happened.

"And to even have had that language, to know what to call it or to know it had happened to somebody else would have made a tremendous difference for me in terms of not feeling like it was something I should be ashamed of," she said.

She hopes the site and the T-shirt will let other rape victims know they are not alone.

"I suspect that there might be a day I wear that T-shirt on the bus where a woman next to me, who I have never met before, says 'I was, too,'" she wrote in a statement on her Web site.

But Lucy Berliner, director of the Harborview Center for Sexual Assault, isn't so sure that's all that will happen.

"You have to think about the consequences, and it's not likely to happen that you've got everyone who's been raped wearing a T-shirt saying 'I've been raped,' " she said.

Berliner hesitated to say victims should wear their pain on their sleeve. The T-shirt, she said, fills her head with questions.

"What is this person looking for? Are they trying to get a reaction? Are they trying to see what I think?" she said.

When asked why she chose such a strong message, Corrina said it's more for the benefit of the person wearing the shirt rather than for those who see it.

"Because we think there are a lot of women who need it," she said. "It's certainly not for everybody. Everybody's feelings processes a little bit different."

Corrina admits that such a heavy message carries the possibility of backfiring.

"Oh, I think absolutely," she said. "You could wear this and be met with scorn and embarrassment."

That's what Berliner fears. Experts say rape victims may think they're ready to make a bold statement until they don't get the reaction they were hoping for.

Even if a rape victim wears the shirt for her own personal benefit, she will inevitably have to face the reactions to its strong message. Experts say the wrong reaction can scar the victim in devastating ways for years and years.

"So while I agree with the idea behind it, I would worry about whether someone was ready to take what came with it," she said. "It's definitely going to open up conversation."
 
Which example would I rather survive?

A. being locked up in a basement for 6 months and beat daily, for 6 months, but never sexually assaulted

or

B. being sexually assaulted (Raped) for 2 minutes
with no permanent physical damage
 
I do believe it's an empowering thing for some to own these kinds of experiences. But I have to wonder if this could also be a target for certain predators...
 
It's a valid form of expression whether the statement is true or not.

However, one has to ask whether wearing a t-shirt declaring 'I was raped' when the statement is untrue generates prejudice and hatred against men.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:
No permanent physical damage is irrelevant. Personally I'd rather survive A .

I respect your feelings

each victim is 100 % innocent and blameless

I think I would much rather survive B


6 months is a long time to be tortured
 
BonoVoxSupastar said:
But I have to wonder if this could also be a target for certain predators...

Maybe part of the point of the tshirt is to own control over that. You're a target anyway no matter what you wear. And the predator is responsible no matter what you wear. It's empowering for some women to show that "declaration hidden within" like it says in the article. Sometimes it gets so painful to keep it within, in many ways.

Every woman is different and the t-shirt is not for every woman.
 
deep said:

6 months is a long time to be tortured

But the emotional torture of surviving the "two minutes" or much longer can be just as brutal as the six months could ever be. Maybe even more so. There is no time limit on that.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:


Maybe part of the point of the tshirt is to own control over that. You're a target anyway no matter what you wear. And the predator is responsible no matter what you wear. It's empowering for some women to show that "declaration hidden within" like it says in the article. Sometimes it gets so painful to keep it within, in many ways.

Every woman is different and the t-shirt is not for every woman.

What is your view on whether these t-shirts might increase false claims of rape against men, a growing problem which has led to the ruination of many men against whom false accusations have been made? In many cases, the women making the accusations get off scot free.

Someone wearing such a t-shirt where the statement made is untrue could well be likely to make such a false claim.
 
One in six women is a victim of sexual assault, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, a nonprofit sexual assault prevention and education group. According to the Department of Justice, 60 percent of sexual assaults go unreported.


We have 150,000,000+ females in America.

So 25,000.000+ are victims.

They are all blameless.

Why is there any more shame than there is for a person that was stabbed 5 times with a knife and lives.

A knife penetrating is not as bad?
 
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MrsSpringsteen said:
But the emotional torture of surviving the "two minutes" or much longer can be just as brutal as the six months could ever be. Maybe even more so. There is no time limit on that.
Is that real
or the victims choosing?
 
financeguy said:


What is your view on whether these t-shirts might increase false claims of rape against men, a growing problem which has led to the ruination of many men against whom false accusations have been made? In many cases, the women making the accusations get off scot free.

Someone wearing such a t-shirt where the statement made is untrue could well be likely to make such a false claim.

I do not approve at all of false accusations, but I don't see how this t-shirt could increase false claims of rape. If you're going to make such a false claim your motivations go way beyond a t-shirt making you do it or creating any sort of environment in which that is more probable.
 
deep said:

Is that real
or the victims choosing?

It's real for some. Not every woman can be "stronger" (and that's such a completely lame word for it, I don't know any good one to use) that fast. I think you're saying that women shouldn't give it that power over them, but shouldn't doesn't equal can.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:


Maybe part of the point of the tshirt is to own control over that. You're a target anyway no matter what you wear.

Well not exactly. With serial rapists not everyone's a target, they are pretty specific, and if they are specifically seeking women that are vulnerable and easy to attack, this may be a neon light.

I was also thinking of certain creeps that this may spell out that this girl is wounded to them and they may take advantage of that...


MrsSpringsteen said:

And the predator is responsible no matter what you wear.


Absolutely.
 
deep said:
Which example would I rather survive?

A. being locked up in a basement for 6 months and beat daily, for 6 months, but never sexually assaulted

or

B. being sexually assaulted (Raped) for 2 minutes
with no permanent physical damage
deep said:
We have 150,000,000+ females in America.

So 25,000.000+ are victims.

They are all blameless.

Why is there any more shame than there is for a person that was stabbed 5 times with a knife and lives.

A knife penetrating is not as bad?
I don't understand what you're getting at here?
 
The NYT article was blogged over at Salon and this was probably the reader response I most agreed with--although as financeguy said, it's a valid form of expression as far as it goes.
As a rape survivor I would never in a million years wear such a t-shirt. My sexual and personal privacy was already violated by the rapist; I'm not going to give complete strangers the right to know about the most intimate details of my life.

I'm not ashamed of being a rape survivor (though I do rather hate the trendiness of the word "survivor"), nor am I unwilling to speak about it in an *appropriate* situation -- including in places where it might serve to educate someone and disabuse them of misinformation about the subject. But announcing it to all and sundry would feel like a gross violation of my personal boundaries. Which, having already been through the experience of rape, are all the more important to me.

Frankly, if my house had been torched by an arsonist or my mother had just been murdered, I wouldn't want those crimes that had touched my life emblazoned across my chest either. My European friends are right: Americans have a weird habit of "over-sharing," handing out intimate details of their lives to casual acquaintances and complete strangers. It's...undignified. And dignity is the very first thing a rapist strips you off.

Furthermore, I shudder to think what kind of comments I'd have to endure on the street if I wore such a thing. As women, we already have to deal with a barrage of unwelcome sexually-tinged remarks from strangers when we walk the streets -- particularly those of us who live in large, crowded cities ("hey baby, do you like to S*** d***, hey baby is your p*ssy hair that blonde too?, etc. etc. etc.). Just imagine what kind of comments you'd hear wearing a shirt like that -- the tone of them varying depending on whether the commenters find you pretty enough to contemplate raping themselves or ugly enough that they wouldn't bother. Believe me, you'd hear about it. What are we supposed to do, start conversations with these kind of trolls? Yeah, like that ever works.

Ugh, ugh, ugh, these shirts are a b-a-d idea.

I understand the intentions behind the shirt, but I think they do more harm then good.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:


But the emotional torture of surviving the "two minutes" or much longer can be just as brutal as the six months could ever be. Maybe even more so. There is no time limit on that.

Depends on the age and the circumstances.
i.e. A child that is molested for two minutes as opposed to a college girl that got drunk and happened on an unfortunate sexual escapade that she later regrets...and then calls it "rape".
 
yolland said:
The NYT article was blogged over at Salon and this was probably the reader response I most agreed with--although as financeguy said, it's a valid form of expression as far as it goes.

Yeah that response pretty much hits the mark for me too.
 
financeguy said:
What is your view on whether these t-shirts might increase false claims of rape against men, a growing problem which has led to the ruination of many men against whom false accusations have been made? In many cases, the women making the accusations get off scot free.

Someone wearing such a t-shirt where the statement made is untrue could well be likely to make such a false claim.

Well, it's not like the shirt says "I was raped by Joe Jones." There would be no false claim against a man unless someone asked the woman, "who raped you" and she falsely named someone.

And if she's going to falsely accuse someone, she probably wouldn't need the shirt to give her the impetus to do so.
 
yolland said:
The NYT article was blogged over at Salon and this was probably the reader response I most agreed with

What about the "I had an abortion" t-shirt? I just wonder how the dynamics would be different for that one, and how the opinion of that one would be different as a result.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:

What about the "I had an abortion" t-shirt? I just wonder how the dynamics would be different for that one, and how the opinion of that one would be different as a result.

To me that falls under the oversharing part too. And the "why on earth would you feel the need to share your most intimate details with perfect strangers?" part too.
 
Yeah, personally I'm not too keen on that concept either, and as with the 'Raped' T-shirt, I don't see it leading to lots of productive interchanges with curious strangers (though I suppose I could perhaps see either shirt being effective in the context of a demonstration or rally). But I do think the dynamic there is quite different, because in that case the intended statement is about the wearer's freely chosen exercise of a (controversially) protected right, a right she wishes to remain protected. It might draw angry or scandalized responses, but it isn't likely to draw trivializing ones.

I'm a little worried pursuing this tangent might invite unwelcome derailments though.
 
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yolland said:
I'm a little worried pursuing this tangent might invite unwelcome derailments though.

In FYM? Never! :lol:
 
yolland said:
I don't understand what you're getting at here?

I guess what I am getting at is that if a person was attacked and stabbed three times there would be no stigma of shame or embarrassment attached to it.

With rape it is different for the victim.

The victim of a rape should be made to feel no more guilt or shame than the victim from any other assault.

And that 25,000,000 stat is from the article (one in six)

I think it is horrible!
 
deep said:


I guess what I am getting at is that if a person was attacked and stabbed three times there would be no stigma of shame or embarrassment attached to it.

Well I think the fact that there are no visible scars is part of the reason.

I also think the fact that some have turned it around as to make it the fault of the "they were asking for it" cause...

And others have abused the term to feel better about a regret, or get back against someone who didn't turn out to be who they were...

I think both sides are to blame for the stigma(today, for I think the stigma was much different in the past)...
 
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