I'VE JUST HAD A REVELATION!!!!!!!
I had a dream and in the dream I was told by the Lord, Jesus Christ, or someone that said he was Jesus, that the following things were true. Not because they could be proven, just because they he said they were...
1)George W. Bush is the all-knowing messiah of justice in the modern world. Not only is he the smartest man in the world, he's the most moral.
2)George W. Bush's administration is not to questioned. They are the definition of goodness, and all who question goodness are undeniably evil. (That's what Jesus told me!)
3)Calling a person a coward is the lowest form of brutality. It is worse than calling someone a "motherf***er", "c***sucker", or "fart-knocker". The word shall not be used even if the person is exhibiting the traits of this word. It is mean and there's no place in this world for making people feel uncomfortable about their fears.
4)Anyone who voted for Al Gore, Ralph Nader, Pat Buchanan or whoever else besides Bush in the 2000 U.S. Presidential election is confused, ignorant of God's plan, and has their head up their arse. If they claim that Gore is the real winner, they are living in the past and should be laughed at for suggesting that their "leader" is not democractically elected.
The list went on and on and on, when I finally interupted Jesus and asked him whether or not he was serious? I mean, how could someone that wants to pollute God's planet, kill innocent civilians in the name of capitalism and imprison pot-smokers for an offense that he too was guilty of, yet served no time, be the definition of 'good' in a world full of "evil"? How could this be?
Well, Jesus looked down at his feet and kinda coughed a little bit. Not a real cough, mind you, but one of those "I don't know what to say, so I'll buy some time by coughing" coughes. He lifted his head and looked beyond my shoulder as if he were looking at something far off in the distance. He said, "Dan, what is that?". I said, "I'm not falling for that old trick, Jesus. Answer my question."
Jesus replied, "No really, is that Anna Kournicova sunbathing in the nude?"
Now, being the male that I am, I let down my guard and turned around. Of course, I didn't see Anna sunbathing. In fact, I didn't see anything at all.
When I turned back around, Jesus was gone. He was running down my street seeking refuge from the truth.
I had a dream and in the dream I was told by the Lord, Jesus Christ, or someone that said he was Jesus, that the following things were true. Not because they could be proven, just because they he said they were...
1)George W. Bush is the all-knowing messiah of justice in the modern world. Not only is he the smartest man in the world, he's the most moral.
2)George W. Bush's administration is not to questioned. They are the definition of goodness, and all who question goodness are undeniably evil. (That's what Jesus told me!)
3)Calling a person a coward is the lowest form of brutality. It is worse than calling someone a "motherf***er", "c***sucker", or "fart-knocker". The word shall not be used even if the person is exhibiting the traits of this word. It is mean and there's no place in this world for making people feel uncomfortable about their fears.
4)Anyone who voted for Al Gore, Ralph Nader, Pat Buchanan or whoever else besides Bush in the 2000 U.S. Presidential election is confused, ignorant of God's plan, and has their head up their arse. If they claim that Gore is the real winner, they are living in the past and should be laughed at for suggesting that their "leader" is not democractically elected.
The list went on and on and on, when I finally interupted Jesus and asked him whether or not he was serious? I mean, how could someone that wants to pollute God's planet, kill innocent civilians in the name of capitalism and imprison pot-smokers for an offense that he too was guilty of, yet served no time, be the definition of 'good' in a world full of "evil"? How could this be?
Well, Jesus looked down at his feet and kinda coughed a little bit. Not a real cough, mind you, but one of those "I don't know what to say, so I'll buy some time by coughing" coughes. He lifted his head and looked beyond my shoulder as if he were looking at something far off in the distance. He said, "Dan, what is that?". I said, "I'm not falling for that old trick, Jesus. Answer my question."
Jesus replied, "No really, is that Anna Kournicova sunbathing in the nude?"
Now, being the male that I am, I let down my guard and turned around. Of course, I didn't see Anna sunbathing. In fact, I didn't see anything at all.
When I turned back around, Jesus was gone. He was running down my street seeking refuge from the truth.
