I Ask The Males Here

[MrsSpringsteen]

Reading this today, I wondered what you all think of the men on this list and if they fit the criteria of men who you feel best represent the male gender and the qualities you feel men should possess and represent. If not (and even if they do), name at least five who you would choose who are not on this list and why you would choose them. They don't have to be world famous or famous at all.

http://www.askmen.com/specials/2006_top_49/index.html

And then name at least five WOMEN who best represent the female gender for you and the qualities that females should possess and represent and why you would choose them.

Women of FYM can play along too and make their own lists if they choose But I am interested to see what the males have to say.

 

[AussieU2fanman]

If we were to choose 5 women on qualities we admire in them, our choice is obviously going to be exclusive to something superficial.
On that note I believe my first choice will be Jessica Alba and then Cameron Diaz in 1994.

 

[BVS]

I think the qualities that one should possess to be a good human are the same that would qualify one to best represent their gender. To narrow it down to such a small list is hard, I'll have to come back to that.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

For some reason I think I'm going to be impressed with BVS's list.

 

[nathan1977]

The list was okay. I would have added...

- Stephen Hawking
- Barack Obama
- John McCain

 

[Dreadsox]

Is ther a complete list without having to go through the website page after page?

 

[Lila64]

I couldn't find one, unfortunately

 

[Dreadsox]

i would Say...

Ecko
Locke
Sawyer
Benjamin
Hurley

 

[U2democrat]

You're really on a LOST kick aren't you, dread?

 

[Bono's shades]

I did click through the entire list. I didn't make a list as I went through, however. I'll just say Bono, Anderson Cooper and Jon Stewart made the list (yay!) as well as Aston Kutcher, Justin Timberlake and Rupert Murdoch (WTF?)

The only thing they seemed to all have in common is they are all filthy rich. The only ones who weren't household names were business moguls.

I like the point BVS made. If I were to come up with a list, I would prefer to make it five men and five women who best represent the human race rather than their gender. Internal qualities like compassion, courage and intellect aren't exclusive to any one gender.

 

[randhail]

Bode Miller
Steve Carrell
Frank Netter


just a few.

 

[UberBeaver]

When I think of "men" that I seek to emulate, they tend to be down to earth, strong and unassuming men that don't ask for things unless absolutley necessary. They take responsibility for choices they've made. The want to make the world better in their own way. They don't judge their success by how much money they've made. They understand that patience is power.

No one on that list is someone I'd "look up to." I can't take someone that has a PR team serious, and I'm pretty sure everyone on that list has one. Maybe I'm not getting the whole idea of the list, but not one military figure? Not one politician?

And I look for the same qualities in women.

 

[yolland]

The only thing they seemed to all have in common is they are all filthy rich. The only ones who weren't household names were business moguls.

Yep. And conspicuously missing from the list were men who are famous for their humanitarian or intellectual achievements alone (let's face it, that's not why everyone knows who Bono and Clooney are). Also, there was only one politician (which I might be inclined to laugh off as "That figures"--except for the fact that many men who did make the list hardly seem more noteworthy than plenty of politicians) and, outside of entertainers, only one person (a multimillionaire architect) who might be described as an "artist."

But most lists of this type I've seen, as well as similar lists of women (e.g., Esquire's "Women We Love") have the same limitation--they're overwhelmingly dominated by celebrity entertainers (actors/actresses, pop stars) and other media personalities, with a handful of elite athletes and executive types (mostly of the media mogul variety) thrown in for good measure. That's not really surprising though--it's just the reality of what makes someone a "household name" in our society.

I like the point BVS made. If I were to come up with a list, I would prefer to make it five men and five women who best represent the human race rather than their gender. Internal qualities like compassion, courage and intellect aren't exclusive to any one gender.

Yeah...I tend to be wary of the whole premise behind lists like this (to the extent that I understand what, in fact, the premise is) because even if their intent is to diversify, inevitably they simultaneously wind up reinforcing the idea that there's some specific way people of a particular gender (or whatever other category) ought to be.

But actually even a list of what people or qualities "best represent" the human race might have the same problem. Everyone has their own particular excellence, and in real life few people are well-rounded enough to embody more than one or two of these qualities to a degree that's likely to evoke admiration or inspiration in much of anyone. My little sister (well, not so little anymore, lol) remarked to me recently that she turns to a different one of us (meaning her siblings) depending on which kind of support and camaraderie she's most wanting--our oldest brother when she needs a reassuring shoulder to cry on (or a good sidesplitting laugh), the next oldest brother when she needs a motivating pep talk, me when she wants considered advice on a complicated personal situation, and my younger brother (very close to her in age) when she needs the advice of someone who understands exactly how she personally reacts to things and can accurately warn her which mistakes she's most likely to make. In no way though was she suggesting that some of us are somehow more representative of which qualities you'd want in a sibling than others; it was just an observation that we're all compassionate and helpful in different ways.

It's true there are certain qualities (sensitivity, decisiveness, etc.) which are stereotypically associated with one sex or another, and it's probably also true that differential socialization *tends to* make those associations self-fulfilling. But obviously not all women are sensitive, not all men are decisive, and it's not like those who aren't must therefore be a discredit to their gender in some way; they can and probably do excel in some other quality that may or may not be seen as "best representing" their sex.

 

[maycocksean]

i would Say...

Ecko
Locke
Sawyer
Benjamin
Hurley

Dang, Jack didn't even make the list.

He kinda tries too hard doesn't he?

Mrs. S, this is an interesting topic. I will return with my list later.

 

[Liesje]

I could make up my top ten, but are these men we are attracted to, or just people-we-admire-for-various-reasons-that-happen-to-be-men?

 

[BonosSaint]

I didn't go through all the list because I didn't know most of the people on the first 10. But you wanted people outside the list anyway:

Jesse Orosco
Neil Young
Dennis Bonvie (Mrs. S. knows who I mean)
My father
The parking lot guy at my work



Most of the men on my list represent at least some of what is important to me and I think represents the best qualities in men.
A willingness to stand up and take responsibility for what they do and know what they do has consequences, provide protection to those unable to protect themselves, ability to maintain close male friendships (the longer the better) personal sense of integrity and the willingness to fight for that integrity, observant humor, personal generosity to others, fairness over favoritism, blue collar work ethic over status, the ability to cross classifications and accept people on their own terms, strength, say what they mean not what will most benefit them (and the ability to get through the day without a mini harem of fawning, adoring, deferential women to protect their opinon of themselves--but I digress, lol) Men who understand that they are not the be all and end all (no matter what success they may achieve) and understand they can be loved wildly in spite of that. I prefer the personal characteristics to the public personas. I prefer personal integrity over acclaim. I prefer men who have a sense of humor about themselves, an ability to understand their dark sides, but to overcome them. (Ability to cry is optional, since I don't have that ability myself very easily) Men who use their power wisely and with compassion.


Women:

My best friend
Vanessa Redgrave
Janis Joplin
Former housekeeper
Anjelica Huston


Women: Many of the same qualities would apply--but I think women who are unfailingly honest (well, mostly), women who relate to other women as much as they do to men, women who carve out their own value system and stand by it, passionate and giving, who make their lives a work of art, women who stand up even when it costs them, women who can move easily between their strong sides and their vulnerable sides and aren't afraid to show either. women who judge others by their personal characteristics and not their outside ones. Women who know their own worth, even when others don't recognize it.

(I also understand that many of the choices I made I am making based on limited knowledge of their personal lives and I needed to depend on what I know of them either from public observation or reading about them and the sense I get from that and at least appear to demonstrate some of the qualities I admire. I can speak with more confidence about the people I know.)

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I just wanted to say that I think it's completely adorable that you picked the parking lot guy, seriously I do. There's just something special about that.

I'm still thinking about mine


A few men I think of right away are

David Ortiz
John Murtha
Bruce Springsteen
The Edge

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I could make up my top ten, but are these men we are attracted to, or just people-we-admire-for-various-reasons-that-happen-to-be-men?

Just people you admire for various reasons etc

You can also be attracted to them but it's not a requirement

 

[Liesje]

Just people you admire for various reasons etc

You can also be attracted to them but it's not a requirement

Ah, OK. I guess I tend to pick based on one or a few qualities each person has. For example, five off the top of my head:

Russell Crowe - The Manly Man: my superficial choice based on looks, AMAZING actor, my favorite "bad boy"

Desmond Tutu - (this is what I meant by not really being attracted to ) The Peacemaker

Dr. Don "Doc" Wilson - The Wiseman: my favorite professor, the wisest person I've ever met and will ever meet

Jordan Jovchev - The Athlete: he's a gymnast but isn't cocky, been the best in the world for way longer than usual, doesn't take steriods, doesn't mouth off or beat his wife, uses the small amount of money available for pro gymnasts in order to support his family, and he's not bad to look at!

Jack Kuiper - The Rich Genius Who Gave All His Money Away: emeriti professor, also genius who worked on Hubble Telescope, made millions and donated millions.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Some more I thought of. There's no one person who personifies every quality I feel best represents men and women, but I admire different qualities of these people that I feel do that

Christiane Amanpour-she is not some pretty(but I think she's quite pretty) empty talking head, she is the real deal. Smart, gutsy, and classy.

Ali Hewson-she is her own person and shuns the limelight. From what I know of her I think she is like a beautiful Irish rose, but made of steel. She could be like a stereotypical rock star wife but she chooses not to be and does very admirable charity work too. She is a mystery and I like women who are mysteries. She seems so humble and kind too, I really like that. Plus she is to be admired just for putting up w/ Bono sometimes

Dr. Rice-I don't agree with her politically but I admire the hell out of what she has achieved being African American and female. She personifies perseverance, confidence, and toughness. She doesn't let any man make her feel less than, and I don't think any man ever even tries.

Kate Winslet-I admire so much how outspoken she is about Hollywood and the pressures on women. She is so beautiful but that doesn't define who she is. She is feminine but tough, and so talented.

Janet Marie Smith, Vice President of Planning and Development for the Boston Red Sox-any woman who can succeed in a male dominated field like sports is admirable, plus she just does a good job.

Meredith Vieira-she's in a high powered job but you still get the sense that she is completely down to earth. Bright, funny, self-deprecating. Devoted wife and mother. I think she's a classy lady.




Some more men

Nelson Mandela-no explanation really necessary


David Letterman-funny, self deprecating, charming. I've had a crush on him forever cause I just think he's sexy in such a unique way. He seems to be such a loving dad and that is very attractive to me.


Michael J Fox- I always admired his talent and charm, but now I admire him even more for his strength and courage in the face of his disease, and for helping others instead of wallowing in self pity (which I think he would have every right to do). I also admire his devotion to his wife and kids.

Rev. Billy Graham. I don't agree with him about everything, but I admire his strength and his spirituality so much-and his devotion to his wife.

Anderson Cooper is already on the askmen list, but yes indeed. Smart, sexy, self deprecating. Really knows how to dress. He just has "it" in spades as far as I'm concerned.

James Spader-intriguing, a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Not a pretty boy (maybe he was technically years ago), his appeal is not easily defined. He just oozes sexiness but I really don't quite know why. He scares me but in the best way possible. He doesn't seem at all into his looks and that is so appealing. He seems quite smart and funny too.

 

[nathan1977]

Chris Reeve, anyone?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Yes of course Chris Reeve, I just assumed I guess it had to be a living person. I had Father Mychal Judge on mine but I didn't post him because he's deceased.

 

[intedomine]

Don't know most of the names on that list. Who the hell is that Wynn bloke.....or Frank Gehry????

Didn't go through it all. Any Aussies?

 

[blueeyedgirl]

Google is your best friend!

 

[Dwight Schrute]

I embody all the positive qualities of not just males, but all humans. Who else here has a perfect immune system and can control their cholesterol level at will? That's right, I didn't think anyone could.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

did some one just list jesse orosco as their ideal man?

 

[BonosSaint]

Absolutely love Jesse Orosco. Thought he was funny, gutsy, great work ethic, passionate about what he was doing, a survivor. I remember when they unceremoniously dumped him not long after, he was more outspoken about the way the Mets were treating Doug Sisk. And that wonderful image at the end of the '86 World Series. (Sorry, Mrs. S )

 

[A_Wanderer]

Can't we just play with fictional characters; we shouldn't identify with the actors it should be the characters.

Professor Challenger, Sherlock Holmes (throw in Gregory House as well - it isn't all a carbon copy of Doyle, he gets vicodin instead of cocaine and morphine), Alan Grant since how many fictional palaeontologists do we get.

Interesting that Hawkings was mentioned since he can really represent in the bastardry stakes.

 

[BonosSaint]

Great idea for a spinoff thread. I'd play there.

 

[AttnKleinkind]

I embody all the positive qualities of not just males, but all humans. Who else here has a perfect immune system and can control their cholesterol level at will? That's right, I didn't think anyone could.

Dwiiiight