How Young Should You Marry?

[nbcrusader]

Court: 15-year-old girls can marry

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A 15-year-old girl can enter into a common-law marriage in Colorado, a state appeals court ruled Thursday. Younger girls and boys may also be able to marry.

While the three-judge panel stopped short of setting a specific minimum age for such marriages, it said they could be legal for girls at 12 and boys at 14 under English common law, which Colorado recognizes.

The ruling overturned a lower-court judge's decision that a girl, who is now older than 18, was too young to marry when she was 15. The panel said there was no clear legislative or statutory guidance on common-law marriages, and that Colorado courts have not determined an age of consent.

How long before the legislature fixes this one??

 

[BVS]

Upholding the sanctity of marriage.

 

[pgv]

I'm 15, and I honestly think there is noway anyone my age can understand the full implications of marriage. I'm betting they divorce in the next 5 years?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Well I know people in their 40's who shouldn't be married, but obviously that is too young. Eighteen is the lowest minimum that should be legal, but that is too young too-just in my general opinion. I'm sure there might be unique cases of 18 year olds who are ready for marriage and could make it work, but I would think that would be extremely rare.

Of course you could be 18 and have your marriage not work out for reasons that have nothing to do with age.

 

[martha]

The Mormon polygamists must be jumping up and down in excitement.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

You have got to be kidding me. Even 18 is too young in my opinion, but 15? That's just asking to leave a trail of divorces and single teenage mothers in its wake.

 

[JCOSTER]

25 or a little older.

 

[U2democrat]

I'm 19 and I still feel like I'm way too young

 

[melon]

It's obviously a legal loophole, and since we don't want judicial activism, the court followed the laws as written and recognized.

Melon

 

[ImOuttaControl]

I've known people who were married when they were 18 and are totally happy here 7 years later, and I know people who got married later on who are miserable.

While I agree that 15 is way too young to get married, how many people's grandparents here were married young? My grandparents on both sides of my family were married before they turned 17, yet they stayed together till they died. I guess I'm just unsure of how it was possible then, but not possible now. Well I do know, as I'm a history teacher and all, but have people gotten more immature compared to 50 or 75 years ago?

 

[U2democrat]

You also must consider that not too long ago divorce was considered a horrible shame and many couples stayed together to avoid that despite their agony. But, you're right, there are always exceptions, sometimes you'll find younger folks doing better together than older folks.

 

[Harry Vest]

Who's really to say???
Personally I'd wait till I'm in my mid twenties or early 30's... or NEVER!!!
But no one can truly judge anyone that is 15 from marrying...as long as it's not Uncle Fred or something that is NOT mutual (then the law should step in). It's a tough one for sure. If a kid can drive a 2000 pound machine at 60 mph why can't they marry???
I dont know. I really don't.

 

[randhail]

If a kid can drive a 2000 pound machine at 60 mph why can't they marry???

and quite a few of them drive horribly

 

[ImOuttaControl]

You also must consider that not too long ago divorce was considered a horrible shame and many couples stayed together to avoid that despite their agony.

I agree to an extent, but from every elderly person I know..they seem to have a stronger sense of committment than any younger person I've met.

I think we as a society have become more materialistic, more money/career driven and spend too little time on relationships.

 

[U2democrat]

I agree to an extent, but from every elderly person I know..they seem to have a stronger sense of committment than any younger person I've met.

I think we as a society have become more materialistic, more money/career driven and spend too little time on relationships.

Plus, they are the greatest generation, enduring the depression, WWII, cold war, etc. A lot of factors contribute to this.

 

[BVS]

Well I do know, as I'm a history teacher and all, but have people gotten more immature compared to 50 or 75 years ago?

More immature? No, I wouldn't say so, just different...

75 years ago college attendance was lower, they either lived through or had parents who lived through the depression, and most lived in a family with both parents. And like U2Dem said there was also a horrible stigma with divorce...

 

[BVS]

If a kid can drive a 2000 pound machine at 60 mph why can't they marry???
I dont know. I really don't.

But they can't vote, see a Rated R movie, or drink...

I think the marriage age should coincide with the drinking age, because let's face it it's the only way to make it bearable.

 

[VertigoGal]

While I agree that 15 is way too young to get married, how many people's grandparents here were married young? My grandparents on both sides of my family were married before they turned 17, yet they stayed together till they died. I guess I'm just unsure of how it was possible then, but not possible now.

And have you noticed how completely miserable most of them are?

The stigma of divorce is nowhere near what it used to be, and I think that's a great thing.

I think the marriage age should be 18 (same for drinking actually). But that's just me.

 

[ImOuttaControl]

More immature? No, I wouldn't say so, just different...

75 years ago college attendance was lower, they either lived through or had parents who lived through the depression, and most lived in a family with both parents. And like U2Dem said there was also a horrible stigma with divorce...

Yes, I think it is completely unfair to ever compare different times in history because society changes. There was a stigma with divorce, but there is another thread here in FYM about marriage (can't remember the name) that basically mocks people who have gotten divorces. I know people change and relationships turn sour, but it seems to me that marriage is something that people are taking more and more lightly as times goes by, which I don't think is a good thing. I know I'm probably in the minority here and I believe that divorce is sometimes necessary, but I sort of wish that there was more stigma to divorce than there currently is--maybe people wouldn't treat it so lightly. I just see more of a committment to career/money in todays world than a committment to a spouse or family. As a teacher I see tons of this--parents choosing work over kids. I know it's not always a choice, you've gotta pay the bills.

Basically, things have changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. I just wish our society focused a little bit more on love and relationships than money. Imagine that.

 

[maycocksean]

As far as the law goes, I think the legal age of marriage should be the same as the "age of consent" (which is 18, right?) As for my personal opinion. . .not before you've gotten out of college and/or lived on your own for a bit.

What I find interesting is the extent to which culture affects maturity. Isn't it true as recently as 100 or 120 years ago there really was no such thing as "teenagers." You were just a kid and then you were an adult (there was no "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman ). And people married a lot younger then. You go a little further back and people were getting married at age 13 or 14 (remember Romeo and Juliet?).

I mean obviously, biologically these people must have still been "maturing" and yet these people managed to live lives infinitely harder and with much more "life or death" responsiblity than our lives in 21st America will ever have. Or can societal norms actually affect biological maturation? (Also explains how faiths like Christianity that started thousands of years of ago could insist on standards like "abstinence until marriage." Heck, you might only have to wait a year or two! ).

So it makes me wonder how much of the "immaturity" in those "too young" for marriage is created by our societal norms?

And then theres the topic of arranged marriage. . . .!

 

[Liesje]

As far as the law goes, I think the legal age of marriage should be the same as the "age of consent" (which is 18, right?) As for my personal opinion. . .not before you've gotten out of college and/or lived on your own for a bit.

What I find interesting is the extent to which culture affects maturity. Isn't it true as recently as 100 or 120 years ago there really was no such thing as "teenagers." You were just a kid and then you were an adult (there was no "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman ). And people married a lot younger then. You go a little further back and people were getting married at age 13 or 14 (remember Romeo and Juliet?).

I mean obviously, biologically these people must have still been "maturing" and yet these people managed to live lives infinitely harder and with much more "life or death" responsiblity than our lives in 21st America will ever have. Or can societal norms actually affect biological maturation? (Also explains how faiths like Christianity that started thousands of years of ago could insist on standards like "abstinence until marriage." Heck, you might only have to wait a year or two! ).

So it makes me wonder how much of the "immaturity" in those "too young" for marriage is created by our societal norms?

And then theres the topic of arranged marriage. . . .!

You bring up a lot of good points. I agree with the first part. In many states, a legal adult having sex with a 15 year old is statutory rape, so it's odd to think 15 is an OK age for marriage. I think anything younger than 18 is out of the question and I personally chose my wedding date to be after I turn 22 because I'm weird and think 21 is still too young....but really I'd rather not have the State making a blanket decision of what age is ok and what age is not. Just like I'd rather not have the State making blanket decisions on WHO can get married and who can't.

I watched this show about a couple that has like 18 kids. The woman was 17 and the man 19 when they got married. Now they have a bazillion kids and seem very happy, so who am I to judge?

I think looking into an appropriate age for marriage brings up a lot of other issues that you mentioned, like arranged marriage, or even the purpose of marriage (love, companionship, security, etc). When one of my relatives came here from the Netherlands to settle, his wife died shortly after. They had a lot of kids and he was just getting started in a business and didn't know what to do. He wrote home and basically said he was willing to accept any single young woman from their church in Groningen. One woman was happy for any opportunity to come to the US, so they married, had more kids, and lived "happily ever after".

If one is of the opinion that marriage is simply a means for producing offspring, I should've been married 10 years ago, at age 11!

 

[BVS]

I know I'm probably in the minority here and I believe that divorce is sometimes necessary, but I sort of wish that there was more stigma to divorce than there currently is--maybe people wouldn't treat it so lightly.

I agree the stigma is a lot less, but it's still there.

I'm divorced and have faced some judgement. Because I am a guy and a musician most just assumed it was my fault and that I wasn't faithful...I've also had (usually older people) who just shake their heads and mumble something about loose morals.

And on the otherside of the coin I've also had girls who wouldn't go out with me when they found out I was divorced.

 

[A_Wanderer]

You can have sex at 16, but you can't enter into the marriage contract without approval by a parent or guardian. If you lowered the age of marriage then you would have to consider other things like buying alcohol and voting as well.

 

[Angela Harlem]

You have got to be kidding me. Even 18 is too young in my opinion, but 15? That's just asking to leave a trail of divorces and single teenage mothers in its wake.

Definitely.
We throw around the word maturity, but it seems a lot of people assign maturity to intelligence. A smart or intelligent teen isn't necessarily mature. Maturity comes from learning who you are, where you are in the world, and what you want from life. It seems so easy when you are that young to believe that what you want immediately is actually going to be something you want for the rest of your days. I know we can all change our minds, and we often do, but how many times do we look back and think gratefully 'I'm glad things turned out differently'?

 

[Irvine511]

of course people should be allowed to get married at 15, or even 13. if the man is in his early 40's, so much the better -- he'll be able to guide and protect his young wife and by marrying at such a young age, she'll be able to produce many children. after all, that's what marriage has been about for thousands of years, for all of human history -- how dare we change it!

i'm for traditional marriage!

 

[U2democrat]

Yeah because at 15 girls are mentally and physically mature enough to pop out kid after kid

 

[A_Wanderer]

I believe that is the definition of nubile

I will say that up to the age of 16 girls best defence is their incredibally annoying nature - having had to endure a 1/2 hour bus trip with about 20 year 9 girls to get home from university (during exam periods they open the uni up to high schools to give the students an idea of what goes on) I am bewildered how any of these loud, obnoxious and annoying people could ever transform into such creatures of grace and beauty over such few successive years.

 

[Irvine511]

Yeah because at 15 girls are mentally and physically mature enough to pop out kid after kid

whatever.

it's in the Bible.

 

[MsGiggles]

I will say that up to the age of 16 girls best defence is their incredibally annoying nature

That goes for males too At least girls grow out of that annoying stage and guys....well I'm still waiting for that to happen

 

[U2democrat]

That goes for males too At least girls grow out of that annoying stage and guys....well I'm still waiting for that to happen

You beat me to it! I was going to say the same thing