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Old 06-20-2002, 06:20 PM   #91
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Sex is a responsibility. If you feel you are at an age where you feel responsibile enought to handle it, then by all means, go ahead...

(And that doesn't mean just be physically responsible and ready, you need to be mentally and emotionally responsibile and ready also)
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Old 06-21-2002, 09:21 AM   #92
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Re: let's talk about sex, baby...let's talk about you and me...

Quote:
Originally posted by melon
Hypothetical situations to ask you all, because I'm curious as to what your responses will be:

Scenario 2:

You're with the love of your life. Everything else about him / her is perfect. One day, his penis falls off / her vagina seals up permanently. There is no way you'll ever have sex with him / her ever again, but he / she is still exactly the same in looks and in personality. The only thing that has changed is your inability to have sex with them. Do you stay with them, or do you break up?
2 Out of 3 ain't bad.
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Old 06-21-2002, 10:24 AM   #93
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well well well, this subject is something that shouldn't be pissing anybody off ... it's a matter of choice, and that's it... I myself know a lot of people who waits until marriage and I also know people who doesn't, and that matters nothing more than your private choice. For those who wants to have their first time and feel consentually decided to do so, then its okay. The same thing like people who waits until they find a partner that makes them feel comfortable having their first time with. It doesn't have any correlation to being "pure" or "not/less pure", it's just labels, why give a sh**?

I grew up with friends making fun of my not having sex yet and at the same time discontent and distrust that someone like me, my age, couldn't be a virgin. But it's their discontent, not mine. I just don't give a damn. They're free to make their choice, so am I, and they don't need to know because i don't either, its private life. I've been dealing with persons with terminal STDs, spousal rape and random rape victim as well as womens health issues. I inherently wasn't allowed to be judgemental in their private lives not even disagreeing. It doesn't matter really when you have your first time sex, realizing that you are going to have your first sexual activities is more important than worry/eager to loose your virginity, because it has to be safe and healthy and comfortable for both. Very few women knows that the first time sexual intercourse can be extremely painful, because this part is always being left out during the conversation about this subject. Or even the misleading opinion that you couldn't be pregnant doing it for the first time. or lots of other misleading knowledge about sex. One thing is that it should be comfortable, and you're not loosing your virginity, you're just choosing to have your first time.
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Old 06-23-2002, 06:26 AM   #94
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Forgive me if I'm misinterpreting some of the posts (as it's very late right now, and in reality I should be in bed!)...

But I had always assumed "monogamous" meant "one partner" and NOT "one partner for life".

When you're in a monogamous relationship, you're only seeing one person. You're not seeing anyone else. This is assuming you're in a committed relationship (ie: you're not playing the field).

Obviously if you're not committed and you're interested in seeing other people without really seriously connecting with any one person, you're not in a monogamous relationship.

If you marry someone one year, divorce them due to lack of compatibility the next year, then re-marry to someone the following year... you're still practicing monogamous relationships. You're just not in a monogamous relationship for LIFE.

Polygamy on the other hand, is where you're seeing/dating/committed to several people at the same time.

Okay, now I'm starting to feel like a dictionary. But some of the above posts made it sound like if you had sex with more than one partner in your lifetime, then you obviously weren't in a monogamous relationship.

I had always thought that as long as you were committed to that person and weren't involved with anyone else during that relationship, it's monogamous. You're with one (mono) person.

Maybe I should head to bed before I make even less sense...
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Old 06-24-2002, 12:10 AM   #95
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there's nothing wrong with waiting for someone special, but I think if you've found that someone special there's no reason to wait, even if there's no guarantee it will last forever, because as we all know, there is no guarantee that anything will last forever, so share each other while you can, and remember that nothing will ever be *perfect* in this world
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Old 04-29-2003, 10:11 AM   #96
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I think the big deal with marriage is that it's the (supposed) promise that it WILL last forever. SO people feel that by sharing themselves, they don't need to feel guilty because they will be with this person forever.

I think a lot of people don't have sex because they think "What if we break up? Then where will I be?" but if they marry first, there is less worry.

I don't know. This is an old thread, but not an old topic.
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Old 04-29-2003, 11:39 AM   #97
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Thats probably true sweetest. Like wanderer said though, if you meet someone special, is there really a reason to wait? If you are contemplating marrying someone, thats a pretty good indication they are a very important person in your life and sure things may change down the track but who has a crystal ball anyway?
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Old 04-29-2003, 12:59 PM   #98
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Exactly angie. But when a relationship ends there's always the regret.."Damn. That person has seen me nekkid."

Mind you, that can happen with or without sex...
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Old 04-29-2003, 01:20 PM   #99
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Very true (btw, I'm not following you around the boards lol)
Its a big deal I think, looking back and thinking "I shared my most intimate self with that person and now they are gone" Its a bit of emptiness.
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Old 04-29-2003, 01:42 PM   #100
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I felt like I was following YOU Around the boards!
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Old 04-29-2003, 01:49 PM   #101
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Normal

Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
but who has a crystal ball anyway?
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Old 04-29-2003, 05:27 PM   #102
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Quote:
Originally posted by The_Sweetest_Thing
But when a relationship ends there's always the regret.."Damn. That person has seen me nekkid."
Really?
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Old 04-29-2003, 06:57 PM   #103
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Wow. 7 pages and a lot to digest. Old post or not... I have a few comments.

First let me say I judge no one's choices, because they are just that personal choices. I do feel however, that many of those that choose to wait have a somewhat unhealthy or rather idealistic outlook on sex and what sex should be. Sex is not this perfect act that quite frankly has been highly idealised in books, television and movies, and I truly feel it will not change your life in any way. You will simply become someone who has had sex. That is not to say that you can't have sex that is unbelievably special because you had it with someone you absolutely love. I just think that some of you are really setting yourself up for a big disapointment if you put so much weight on your first time... and for some, only partner.

Now that being said, I don't personally think sex is disapointing... not at all. Sure with some people it has been, but not in a general sense. I never really gave it a lot of thought and wasn't super young when I lost my virginity. I was 19. No big deal. I was also in love... and you know what? It was no big deal. It has become a slightly bigger deal for me as I get older because I crave meaningful sex over anything else I experienced in the past. That also does not mean in any way that I regret any of my past experiences.

What makes the world great though is the diversity of thought and opinion. We tend to attract those that share the same ideals etc... I am pretty confident that the man I end up with will not be a virgin, not because I am not one, but because it breeds a different mentality and thought and something that I wouldn't probably attract my way. Chances are those of you waiting for marriage will most likely find others with the same morals... if not exact, but similar. I probably don't make any sense and a few of you are probably thinking 'What a slut.' Not by a long shot. But hey, I know what I like and dont' like and I like knowing.
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Old 04-30-2003, 06:08 AM   #104
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Well said Angel. Though I also believe sex should be something shared with someone you care for/love very much, because though it isn't a groundbreaking act in itself, taking that step with the one you love is, or at least should be a significant thing.

I'm really dismayed at how many people around my age are all about sex because "damn s/he's fine" or the automatic assumption that a really good looking person must be great in bed. It's like a competition to bag the best looking guy/girl, and that's a really, really sad reflection of sexuality in our culture today. It's gotten to the point where people look at you weird if you're in college and still a virgin, and that's unfortunate.

I went through college a virgin, and I have absolutely no regrets about waiting as long as I did, and no regrets about "losing" my virginity when and to whom I did.
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