How old is too old to be a virgin?

[Klodomir]

I don't think people should wait until they get married
I personally don't think it's such a great idea to have sex with someone you have only known for about a month
but that's just me

Ah, well now you have raised a different question... how long should you wait, then?

I don't think there's any expiration date on virginity, but I don't think I'd want to be with one at this point in my life.

 

[V Nura]

lmao....the brady bill for condoms

 

[pax]

paxetaura, i agree with you, cba hopes we didn't come across in any manner that would offend you, because that is not in any way what we were going for. i am proud to be a virgin, cos i just turned 18 and i haven't met anyone i have even enjoyed kissing let alone having sex with.

Don't worry about it; I wasn't offended by anyone here (yet; I'm only on page 3, LOL.) And you should definitely wait to have sex until you find someone, at the very least, that you can stand to kiss.

 

[pax]

I absolutely positively cannot imagine in my wildest nightmares having sex with the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with for the very first time on my wedding night. Not no way not no how.

Daaaaaammmmmnnnnnn straight.

 

[pax]

Love overcomes petty things like "chemistry in bed"
Besides, the experience of teaching the loved one would probably fun in itself!

or maybe I'm just blinded by naivity

1.) Chemistry in bed is NOT petty. You will learn this when you have sex for the first time (on your wedding night, of course.)

2.) I agree that the experience of mutually enthusiastic sexual education/therapy could be fun.

3.) Um, well, about the naivete part... ::shrugs::

 

[Stories for Boys]

yes twin, but it's just not that easy. people divorce over this and wreck families in the meantime...and even if they didn't mean it it still stings so bad...SHOULD is a word that has so many conditions attached to it.

relationships of any kind take a lot of work to maintain, especially as time passes.

for some reason, some humans (men and women both) want to branch out and will risk everything for it. and until you've experienced that betrayal in any way, you and i will never see eye to eye on monogamy.

that's why i am the sheltered one. i know i'm naive. i know i have no way of empathizing, so i'll just have to believe you. i hope i don't live to experience that betrayal, cause i'm not so sure i could handle it...

 

[adamswildhoney]

There as been a few Q's that have been asked.

I don't think that be married means that u love a person anymore or less then if u weren't married. I know that I want to be married before I have sex. I have a friend that isn't married that has had sex and she is in love with the man she had sex with. I was just saying that u should love the person that u are going to bed with because it is just a special gift, U can only lose your virginity once.


But on the otherhand, I don't know if I will wait until marriage. I do know as of this point in my life I want to wait until I get married.

 

[OzAurora]

Wow some of you have been posting some amazing things anyway I just want to know why giving your virginity to someone is considered 'special' and it is a gift??? now this is my opinion even though I am not virgin I still think that I can give a partner something just as special- when you first meet up with someone whom you care about waiting to be with them is just as special to me and in reality the fact that you are not a virgin makes it even more special- do you know how hard it is to wait to be with someone who you care so much about and find absolutely sexy- believe me it is hard and I have done this in the past and then when you do sleep together for the first time, well it is very special as you both know that in some way you have made a commitment-= I think everyone needs to get over this whole virginity thing and that it is something so special- there can be numerous special times in your life and from where I stand that can be with different partners in your life and another thing is that past sexual experiences add to who you are- well I belive this and teach you things I could not imagine being a virgin at this age and I am thankful for the time that I have spent with my past boyfreinds and what they have taught me and this is not just sexually

 

[doctorwho]

I spent two years teaching and learning from this guy and it didn't work. He was and is a beautiful man who is an oaf in bed and there wasn't a damn bit of improvement after 2 years of "touch me this way please" and I'm glad we had a sexual relationship to discover this before we both made what I think would have been a very bad mistake--getting married, which was discussed.

Joyfulgirl has a VERY real point here.

I do not speak the following from personal experience. Heck, I wish I could. LOL! But what joyfulgirl experienced is the same as what one of my friends and former coworkers is going through now. He loves this woman - they click on all levels. However, he complained to me that in bed she is a dud. Basically, she just lies there. I told him the same thing about "teaching" her. He said he tried - but instead of things getting better, they were worse! I asked him to elaborate - but, it is rather personal and it's probably difficult to explain. For him, he said he actually preferred her doing nothing than trying something. But the result was turning out that they didn't have sex at all. In other words, here was a healthy, horny man in his 20's who'd rather have no sex - despite all the frustrations it presented - than have bad sex with the person he loved.

And he and I talked about this. He agreed that spending the next "50 years" with this person without that intimate bond was tough. However, when he's tried dating other people, he just doesn't click.

I think this is one of the main reasons why people cheat. They love one person, but their sexual/physical side is not tended to in any matter. As a result, they seek someone to fulfill that aspect of their lives. They need that person where they can have a good romp in the bed, but they still want to go back to the person they love an hour later. Now, if a person did what joyfulgirl stated, perhaps less cheating would occur.

For those of you who waited, I applaud you. However, I agree with joyfulgirl here. It's not a matter of anticipation waiting for my wedding night. This isn't a Christmas present where I open it, then toss it aside minutes later, as I get the next present! This is a person I want to spend the rest of my life with. As such, I want to ensure that we do connect on all levels.

 

[MrPryck2U]

You should get some by 30!

 

[Zoomerang96]

i for one have never had sex, and to be quite honest, i dont believe i ever will.

i am a horrible person.

*shakes head

anyway, seriously, why do we have to come up with a set age for this?

(would be the worst person ever in bed)

at least im honest, give me that. i dont spend too much of my time thinking about it either.

*gives everyone the middle finger for staring

 

[The Wanderer]

for God sakes, you're not a man you're a bishop!!!

 

[mad1]

<so wants to reply to this thread.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Wow- I finally check back on this thread and discover tons of interesting responses! I just want to say that my question wasn't a reflection of something that's going on in my life right now, so don't worry that your answers will influence me one way or another.

Anyway, as far as the wait-until-marriage thing goes, I can understand both sides of the argument, but personally I think that people should wait until they're in a relationship with someone they truly care about (marriage or no). It's basically a choice each person has to make on their own. I'm 19 and a virgin, mainly because I haven't found the right person yet. I have no problem with losing my virginity to the right guy when I come across him, and I don't think marriage needs to enter the equation. Monogamy yes, but marriage no. Also, I've heard from several friends that the first time isn't very pleasant for the girl (and can even be painful), so I don't really want to look back at my wedding night and remember having painful or unpleasant sex. I think 2 people can love each other just fine without marriage, and as long as they have that bond it's all good. (Of course, people can totally sleep around if they want to- I'm just saying what I think would be ideal.)

I've just finished my second year at college, and it seems that the number of people who are virgins greatly depletes each year, so I was just wondering if not losing it by the end of college would be considered abnormal by most people. After reading everyone's responses it seems like that's not the case. Reading everyone's opinions have been very interesting- I'm glad my question spawned some good conversation!

 

[melon]

let's talk about sex, baby...let's talk about you and me...

Why do people have to announce to the entire world that they are virgins or not? I really don't give a shit about whether people have had it before or not. I'm hoping that whomever I choose to have sex with in the future I love for other reasons beforehand.

Hypothetical situations to ask you all, because I'm curious as to what your responses will be:

Scenario 1:

The high incidence of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) is staggering, with most modes of infection occurring without knowing it. Type II Herpes, for instance, has infected 1/5 of the people in the United States...and that isn't even the most common STD (FYI, it's Human Papilloma Virus [HPV, or genital warts], which generally leads to cervical cancer in women). So you've met someone you love, but he / she has slept with people before; and who knows how many people the people he / she slept with prior. Your lover, of course, asserts that he / she doesn't have a disease. Condoms do not protect against all STDs either. Do you insist on testing, or do you take your chances?

Scenario 2:

You're with the love of your life. Everything else about him / her is perfect. One day, his penis falls off / her vagina seals up permanently. There is no way you'll ever have sex with him / her ever again, but he / she is still exactly the same in looks and in personality. The only thing that has changed is your inability to have sex with them. Do you stay with them, or do you break up?

Melon

 

[Naya]

i for one have never had sex, and to be quite honest, i dont believe i ever will.

i am a horrible person.

(would be the worst person ever in bed)

Could you please stop that?

As for my views on the subject, I don't think there's a set age for losing one's virginity. It should be done when both partners are comfortable and mature enough.

And I'm not saving myself for marriage (well, it's too late for that anyway ), and like some people who posted in this thread, I don't believe that one should save her or himself for marriage. Sex plays a very important role in a marriage, and I agree with doctorwho who said that when a partner isn't really satisfied they cheat.

 

[Saracene]

I detest an idea that there should be some kind of general standard on something that is really nobody's business but your own and which means totally different things to different people.

 

[Stories for Boys]

I detest an idea that there should be some kind of general standard on something that is really nobody's business but your own and which means totally different things to different people.

it's obvious to me, through all the replies to this topic, that saracene is right. it means totally different things to different ppl. some ppl say it's not a big deal, and some ppl say it's special. that's just how it is. i guess that means that it's a judgement call on everyone's own part. there is no rule, or standard.

 

[meegannie]

Wow. I am the most naiive person ever. Or at least on Interference.

 

[Sicy]

Wow. I am the most naiive person ever. Or at least on Interference.

why?

 

[anitram]

Interesting discussion.

Melon, HPV strains 6, 11, 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 41-45 infect teh genital tract, but generally, only types 16, 18 and 31 are seen as oncogenic, with strains 16 and 18 seen as high risk. Even with the oncogenic ones, only a minority actually result in cancer.

However, it's a valid point that I haven't seen made on this thread. We live in a world where one can literally contract a death sentence via sex, and that's surely something to consider.

 

[meegannie]

ignore me.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Re: let's talk about sex, baby...let's talk about you and me...

Why do people have to announce to the entire world that they are virgins or not?

Because for some people, like myself, it's not precious information one way or the other--so when asked, I responded matter-of-factly given that it is an interesting discussion and one I wanted to participate in. For others it's deeply personal. Given my age, which is significantly older than most of you, people would assume correctly anyway that I am not a virgin so why talk around it.

Do you insist on testing, or do you take your chances?

I insist on testing and seeing the test results, and offer mine as well, and even then I insist on condoms for an unspecified period.

Do you stay with them, or do you break up?

Melon

I really don't know.

 

[AcrobatMan]

Lots of sexual maniacs out here..Looks like I will have to quit INTERFERENCE

 

[Diemen]

Lots of sexual maniacs out here..Looks like I will have to quit INTERFERENCE

Sexual maniacs? Uhhhh...sure.

What's your definition of a sexual maniac, btw? Cause reading the posts here, it would seem that anyone who has had sex would be a sexual maniac in your book.

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

Ahemmmm...

Any females who want to lose their virginity soon ... just to let you know I'm available.

Please email pic first.

 

[sparkys girl]

it's becoming more 'in' to keep your virginity until you are comfortable giving it away.

call me naive but isn't that the only reason anyone would lose their virginity.

 

[BabyGrace]

bear take heed of what Naya said...degrading oneself is bad manners, even among deathbears

as for the question: it's never too old, people should lose their virginity only when they are comfortable with it and with someone they trust. of course this is not always the case, but that's how it should be in a perfect world.
to be honest, I think putting an age limit on things like this is insensitive because you might be hurting some people by telling them basically that they're weird, but that's just me.

 

[Jayhawk]

I waited until I was married(I was 25)but that was a personal choice more than anything. 3 years later due to more than a few ongoing issues, I went through a very difficult divorce. Kind of leaves you wondering about the choices you have made up until that point with everything in your life. You wouldn't believe what people tell me I should be doing now that I am single again. They tell me "You are so lucky...you should go to Westport(bar district in KC) and take home any female who is willing". Most of this comes from my married friends too. Maybe I need new friends. Anyway, I have learned one thing. Your body is a temple and don't let anyone into that temple who doesn't worship the ground you walk on. It's your choice on whether you wait until you are married to have sex but only do that with someone you truly love and with someone who you feel truly loves you.

 

[adamswildhoney]

[/QUOTE] Originally posted by sparkys girl


call me naive but isn't that the only reason anyone would lose their virginity. [/QUOTE]


I thought same the thing!