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Old 06-05-2002, 07:14 PM   #31
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I absolutely positively cannot imagine in my wildest nightmares having sex with the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with for the very first time on my wedding night. Not no way not no how.
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Old 06-05-2002, 07:27 PM   #32
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I think it will be great.
I mean..the tension the exitement and anticipation.
My heart is beating already...I can't imagine what I'll be like that evening!!
I don't want to be comparing her with anyone either.

And people say you should have lots before, or at least some, because then your marriage night won't suck. But I think the first time can be great!

its all about education and communication.
Not like walking into the bedroom and not knowing how and where to please, and not asking each other how it is for them.
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Old 06-05-2002, 08:02 PM   #33
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Basstrap, I hope it will be great. You sound like you will be a thoughtful lover.

For me, waiting is not an option because I am not having lame sex til death do we part. And I have had the experience of being in love and then having sex only to discover it wasn't happening and not fixable and there was absolutely no clue that there would be no chemistry in bed. So, I am not very romantic on this one--it's got to be great and I've got to know that in advance.

As for the original question...whenever it feels right, that's all. I have a friend who is 42 and still a virgin and yes, this is a problem. I think he's gay and trapped in a small conservative town with no hope of coming out and being accepted. And now the issues around sex are so huge that he's headed for some kind of breakdown, I fear.... Very sad.
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Old 06-05-2002, 08:08 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stories for Boys
humans are monogomous by nature...sex should be the same way.
I could not disagree more! I have seen no evidence that humans are monogamous by nature. I believe that monogamy is a choice people make, but that it is by no means a natural instinct. Just my personal .02.
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Old 06-05-2002, 08:57 PM   #35
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paxetaura, i agree with you, cba hopes we didn't come across in any manner that would offend you, because that is not in any way what we were going for. i am proud to be a virgin, cos i just turned 18 and i haven't met anyone i have even enjoyed kissing let alone having sex with. of course, i don't actually like to be touched, so that makes the whole thing really rather complicated and omy i've gone on a tangeant...anyhoo what i'm saying is that i agre with you totally. i am happy being a virgin because that's my decision. if someone else feels comfortable and is ok with it then go for it, your life isn't mine to lead.
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Old 06-05-2002, 09:07 PM   #36
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oh! two more things!

1. twin, no humans are not monogomous by nature.

exhibit a. (yeah put your bio shields on) the only reason why men make so much sperm in one day is so they can impregnate TONS of females! their reproductive purpose is to spread their seed as far as possible. the more women he is with, the more his seed will be spread. and if that same woman had sex with another male, the sperm within the environment (the vagina, and really more accurately the fallopian tubes) would have to compete with each other to fertilize the available egg. whosever's sperm fertilized was the fittest and and would thus create the fittest child.

exhibit b. the penis is built like it is to create advantages. the...uhm, i don't feel like going into this cos it's long and i'm sure no one cares..so yeah.


2. basstrap, where do you live?
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Old 06-05-2002, 10:30 PM   #37
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I'm sooo sorry...hehehehe!

Quote:
Originally posted by Lilly
the..uhm, i don't feel like going into this cos it's long and i'm sure no one cares..so yeah.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Er, i coule REALLY say something here but I'll spare ya!

ROFLMFAO!!!
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Old 06-05-2002, 10:36 PM   #38
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ANYWAY....Yeah I agree that you have to love the person youre with...And i mean actual love, not momentary infatuation.
I think its normal for guys to lose it at age 17 or 18, i'm always shocked and a little concerned whenever i encounter a guy who hasnt "done it" by then. You have to wonder whats wrong with him unless he's actually waiting for marriage or something.
For girls...any age is ok i guess. It is not something to be thrown away just like that. Its extremely special, you should be with your partner for a longtime before you go all the way. Explore other forms of sex in the meantime.

Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds kinda strange coming from an admitted Slut, but hey...do as i say...not as i do
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Old 06-05-2002, 11:16 PM   #39
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yep, they do exist (tho they're rare). One is a good friend of mine, who was 28, and just got married; and the other is my own little SISTER (sorry sis) who is just shy of 40 and is very happy being still single and "intact." No really.

Personally, I wish I'd waited....the fact that virgins are 'hard to find' (and then are scorned for being virgins) says alot about our society. It's pretty sad, actually.


Quote:
Originally posted by OzAurora
I am yet to meet one person yet in my life who is or has waited until they were married- do these people actually exist????
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Old 06-06-2002, 12:37 AM   #40
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laura: *puts her foot in her mouth*

i stand corrected, but perhaps i am the sheltered one...i'll say it like this: i think humans SHOULD be monogomous. i do, however agree with you, shannon. i say all this now, but i've never had an even close to serious relationship. i may just see things different then. in fact, just a year ago i felt totally different about virginity...i'm not so sure it's as big of a deal as i used to think it was. but i am still proud to be a virgin because i've had no decent relationships that would make the sex justified...
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Old 06-06-2002, 01:54 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by Miss MacPhisto
For girls...any age is ok i guess.


?

Quote:
Originally posted by Stories for Boys
i think humans SHOULD be monogomous


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Old 06-06-2002, 02:08 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stories for Boys
i think humans SHOULD be monogomous
yes twin, but it's just not that easy. people divorce over this and wreck families in the meantime...and even if they didn't mean it it still stings so bad...SHOULD is a word that has so many conditions attached to it.

relationships of any kind take a lot of work to maintain, especially as time passes.

for some reason, some humans (men and women both) want to branch out and will risk everything for it. and until you've experienced that betrayal in any way, you and i will never see eye to eye on monogamy.
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Old 06-06-2002, 03:38 AM   #43
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I'd hate to say that I regret my first time, because what's done is done.... but I would seriously change the circumstances now if I could. I hardly knew the guy and there was drinking involved. I couldn't remember my "night to remember" because I had one too many. I'd definately recommend that anyone wait rather than cheapen what should be a special moment.

Two years (and a few partners) later I've still not found "the one".... the way things are going I'm not sure if I will be any time soon....at this rate if I were to wait for "the one" it seems I may very well burst I remember before I lost my virginity it wasn't even that big of an issue. However after your first time it becomes much easier to do it again... it suddenly becomes this very tangible option. I think before offering it up you should keep this in mind. The first time changes your whole perspective. My advice is to try and put yourself in the situation where your first time won't leave a bad impression.
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Old 06-06-2002, 03:43 AM   #44
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oh and to answer the initial question.... people should do what they feel is best. I think it is ENTIRELY up to the individual. There shouldn't be a stigma against virgins of a certain age because sex opens up lots of windows and emotions (for most people with a pulse)
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Old 06-06-2002, 09:20 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by joyfulgirl
And I have had the experience of being in love and then having sex only to discover it wasn't happening and not fixable and there was absolutely no clue that there would be no chemistry in bed.
I don't know. I just think that there should be an immense amount of love between two people who have decided to get married...ideally, an unconditional love, but since were humans the next closest thing!
So close to unconditional that bad sex should NEVER take away love. Thats ridiculous!!
if two people really loved each other and the wife found the husband to be in need of "improvement" or to be "wanting", than they should get help. She should teach him, go see a 'sexpert', etc...not get mad and stop caring about him! I'm sorry but thats just plain ridiculous.
Love overcomes petty things like "chemistry in bed"
Besides, the experience of teaching the loved one would probably fun in itself!

or maybe I'm just blinded by naivity
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