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Old 06-05-2002, 02:30 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by cba
girls usually lose theirs at 17 while boys lose theirs at 15. to me, that's a bit young for comfort.
Isn't that girls at 15 and boys at 17??? Well, at least over here they say it's something like that.
Anyway, I lost mine, but I don't understand what's the big deal about virginity. Of course, it's your first time, but in a way i don't think it's that much different from regular first-time sex with a specific partner (when you aren't a virgin anymore). You have to be careful with both and know what you're doing. Also I remember my first real kiss had a much and much larger impact on me then my first time sex. Maybe I'm weird, but the first kiss was really entering a complete new era, where having sex was much more just a step further.
Also, I don't believe humans are monogamous by nature, at least not sex-wise. Partner-wise i believe they are (if they work on it a bit). They can stay a loving couple for the rest of their lives, but meanwhile they also occasionally have to shop around, spread their genes a bit.
Finally, i respect every person's opinion about sex and virginity. Just don't let that opinion and actions hurtother people or yourself
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Old 06-05-2002, 04:41 AM   #17
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I was a virgin until 22 (I'll be 23 in about 3 weeks), and I definitely don't regret not "doing the deed" earlier. In fact, I'm glad I waited. It made it much more special for me when I could give the girl I loved something I hadn't been ready to give anybody before her, but with her it felt completely natural. I have absolutely no regrets about my virginity.

The way I see it, sex is overglorified to the general teenage/young generation as this amazing physical experience that isn't all that dependent on the partner, when I think more should be spent on how it is an incredibly intimate, passionate and spiritual experience shared between two people who ideally should be deeply in love. Sure, it does feel really good , but what makes it so incredible should be the electricity/connection/bond between the two people, not just the physical feelings that come from it.

Of course, playfulness and a good sense of adventure is a must for great sex, too.

Aaanyway...I don't think there is any age that is too old to be a virgin. I think there is an age where it's too old to never have been in a relationship or dated, or never have made out...but virginity is something that should be yours and yours alone to decide on.
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Old 06-05-2002, 04:43 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by adamswildhoney
I am going to wait until marriage because I think that when u have sex u should really love the person.
So are you saying you can't really love a person unless you marry them?
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Old 06-05-2002, 05:05 AM   #19
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Do Safe Sex and carpe noctem... with a person that you love, whatever your age or kind of relationship is.
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Old 06-05-2002, 09:32 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lise


There are people who are waiting until they are married although it is rare in this day an age. You've just met one, me.
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Old 06-05-2002, 11:15 AM   #21
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I waited til I was 20. It was my first serious relationship, but I was truly in love, and had plans to marry the man. I was old enough to appreciate the magnitude of what I was doing, and he was old enough to make it incredibly special for me. I absolutely abhor the notion that you have to be married to really love someone. Love is based on trust and commitment, not on a legality.

It's strange that this should come up now- my ex and I had planned to marry last Saturday. I had a really hard time this weekend, examining the relationship, and with all the pain it's caused, asking myself if it was worth it. The answer is undoubtedly yes.

Losing one's virginity is such a personal decision. As long as the decision is not based on pressure, or fear of commitment, I don't think anyone has the right to say when is a good or bad time to do it.
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Old 06-05-2002, 02:28 PM   #22
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Dunno. I guess you'll know when the time is right when you meet someone special, and there is no rule about virginity. It's your (and your partner's) decision.

I think that the PERSON you're doing this with is a lot more important than the actual time. I'm not one of those that believes in waiting until marriage, but i do think that "making love" (way better term than just plain "sex" to describe what i mean) is too personal and too dep to be just thrown away just for the sake of being able to say "there - i did it." It should be with someone special and it shouldn't be something you'll ever regret.
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Old 06-05-2002, 02:37 PM   #23
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eh, the first time sucks anyway--get it out of the way early (she said, not too jaded or anything)
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Old 06-05-2002, 02:44 PM   #24
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Re: How old is too old to be a virgin?

Quote:
Originally posted by Giant Lemon
My friends and I decided that around the age of 25 it's basically assumed that you aren't a virgin, so if you were it'd probably be considered strange. but we added a few more years just for those who are late bloomers. Definitely anyone 30 or older would be an oddity!

Any thoughts?
I have 2 friends that are virgins... one's 31 and the other is 28.
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Old 06-05-2002, 04:57 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by joyfulgirl
eh, the first time sucks anyway--get it out of the way early (she said, not too jaded or anything)
I beg to differ. My first time was one of the best times ever.
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Old 06-05-2002, 05:07 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peaseblossom


I beg to differ. My first time was one of the best times ever.
well...great! i've had this discussion with many many women and I don't know one who has ever had a good experience the first time. but maybe it's just my generation who didn't know what was going on and how to...um...finish
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Old 06-05-2002, 06:16 PM   #27
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PAXETAURORA-I really liked what you had to say and agree with it. I have always laughed at people like Britney Spears who claim to be virgins yet gyrate about in skimpy clothes and nearly any video shot of them displays close ups of their torsos, butts and breasts every second- well to me this just seems like such a contradiction, here is Britney exclaiming that she is a good little christian and is waiting until marriage to have sex, however in a way I dont see her as a virgin as she uses sex and the exploitation of it in nearly every film clip/concert that she does- shes already lost her virginity 100s of times over with the media


and the whole being more mature or whatever when someone waits until older, well I dont really get this, to me sex is a natural thing and is fun and lovely and I think that had I waited until I was married, well I would never have sex as I never really see myself as never being married, I really dont subscribe to the whole ceremony thing and all that but I think that I have had some wonderful boyfriends in the past and am glad that I did what I did- it does not make me any less of a person and the other thing is, well I believe this is what if you wait until marriage or whatever and the other party just aint that good in bed, I really do think that you need to be with a few people and learn what it is that you like- anyway I will probably get scorned for that last bit- so just forget it
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Old 06-05-2002, 06:52 PM   #28
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well I believe this is what if you wait until marriage or whatever and the other party just aint that good in bed, I really do think that you need to be with a few people and learn what it is that you like- anyway I will probably get scorned for that last bit- so just forget it
I'm not going to scorn you for it. Imagine if you married someone who was lousy in bed. Certainly sex isn't the most important thing in a successful relationship. but it's not unimportant either. You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it, would you?
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Old 06-05-2002, 07:04 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by paxetaurora


I'm not going to scorn you for it. Imagine if you married someone who was lousy in bed. Certainly sex isn't the most important thing in a successful relationship. but it's not unimportant either. You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it, would you?
I totally agree, differing sexual appetites is one of the reasons my ex broke up with me. Just couldn't handle me.
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Old 06-05-2002, 07:06 PM   #30
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so true paxet- for me sex or making love is a very important part of a relationship and I think that I feel like that now maybe because I am at my sexual peek, but really I couldnt imagine not having sex until being married, but for me this just dosnt enter into the occasion as I dont see myself as getting married.....but I know that the guy that I am with at the moment, I really care for him and we get along great in this department and I know that it wouldn't be as good if we had both been virgins and to be quite honest I dont think I would like to sleep with a virgin- I like a guy who knows what to do, I aint much of a teacher
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