How do you define marriage?

[Axver]

I don't know if this topic has been covered here before or not, so forgive me if it has been beaten to death, but it has come up in a number of conversations I have had lately and I would be very interested to hear opinions from the FYM crowd as you're a rather diverse bunch.

(Please note: I would like to avoid the whole homosexual marriage debate, so if at all possible, please refrain from such a discussion. Note in the below that I only refer to 'the couple' and 'two people'.)

What do you believe constitutes marriage? At what point can two people be said to be married? Does a slip of paper or a marriage license make a marriage, or is it just government paperwork that doesn't actually constitute marriage? If such paperwork is not relevant, at what point would you say the couple are married - when they have sex, when one asks the other to marry them and receives a 'yes', when the two commit their lives and their selves to each other, or another point?

For Christians (others can answer, but I am specifically interested in Christian opinions for this one): do you believe it is possible to be married before God prior to being married before man and government? i.e. do you believe two people can come together and be unified as one in the sight of God, and then hold their public marriage and fill out official documents, say, six months later? Please don't debate why one would be delaying the ceremony, as that seems a bit pointless and I can't be bothered devising a scenario. I'm interested in direct answers to the question.

Looking forward to some responses. Please be aware I may play devil's advocate in my replies.

 

[Do Miss America]

I would like to avoid the whole homosexual marriage debate,

Good luck.

 

[all_i_want]

what is marriage? it is two people getting chained to each other, and thrown off a bridge. the only way to survive is to cooperate, and the river gets only deeper as you go.. but you learn to enjoy the shackles and chains, and love the dead weight youre tied to, not because you want to, because you dont have a choice.

on the other news, it has been announced that marriage rocks! it is beautiful, so lets all get naked and fucked up on drugs! yeah, baby!

 

[verte76]

Marriage is a commitment that two people have made to each other to spend the rest of their lives together. This commitment can be made in a court, with the right papers signed and so forth, it need not be in a religious context. The two people need to understand that this is a huge commitment that's they've made to each other. My sister got married in December, and my brother was married in December, 2002. Both, incidentally, married in civil ceremonies, neither couple is religious. Of course in the Catholic Church, which as you all know I'm a member of, marriage is a sacrament. I don't feel comfortable talking about this because I've never done it, and a priest would actually know more about this *sacrament* than I do. Please refer to the Catholic Encyclopedia or other reliable source for the sacrament. I do know it's different from a civil ceremony, exactly how, I really can't explain.

 

[Neenie]

Probably not direct, but anyway

I think the Bible is unclear on what exactly constitutes of Marriage. Some people think the bible says that sex before the marriage ceremony is a sin. But the bible is unclear. In Exodus, chapter 20, in the 10 commandments, we are told you should not commit adultery. In fact, in Leviticus we are given a list of every situation in which we should not have sex. We're not to have sex with married people, or with family members, or with animals. I don't know where it says we must have papers signed to be married In God's eyes. I think that if you are mature and committed enough to your partner, that makes Marriage in Gods eyes from the time you first have sex.

It says in Exodus 22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.- That to me is saying The sex act itself constitutes marriage.

Also..Corinthians 1.16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh". Sounds pretty straight forward to me...

I'm legally married now, but my husband and I did have sex before that, not that I've had sex with anyone else. I don't mean to anger anyone reading that I'm trying to justify sin because I'm not convinced that what we did is what some people call sin.

All my opinion of course

 

[Russty Cat]

This is an excellent question.

I've always been taught that a marriage between two people was them making a commitment to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives together, in flesh and in mind.

As for the whole govermental paper issue vs. under the eyes of God. that is something I'm not really sure of. I can't really answer for God, but I do know the goverment definetly requires you to have the license.

My husband and I did the whole paper ceremony thing before ever having sex. I'm a Christian and always believed that you were to save yourself till you were married and being raised in America we were always taught that to be married you had to be recognized by the goverment.

Before there was a major governing body, I'm sure that people had some sort of ceremony announcing that they were making a commitment to each other and were then considered married. Do you think now a days that would work? I don't know that is a very good question. I'm seriously considering calling my pastor tomorrow to ask him what he thinks about the whole thing. I don't honestly see how a paper from the goverment makes a marriage any more binding, then the commitment the two people are making to each other under the eyes of God.

 

[Liesje]

To me, it's two things: sex, and/or a lifelong committment, under God. Yep, I'm old fashioned.

 

[foray]

My own marriage ceremony was based on the power of the spoken word, since it was not religious. A pronouncement made orally in front of witnesses; I suppose that is even more old-fashioned.

 

[jick]

Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents are governed by law and not subject to stipulation.

Cheers,

J

 

[foray]

 

[blueeyedgirl]

Why Axver, some special chickybabe on the horizon you're not telling us?????