how do parents who lose their children like this go on? - U2 Feedback

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Old 07-26-2002, 10:17 PM   #1
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how do parents who lose their children like this go on?

another tragic day, a little girl is abducted and murdered (this time it seems she was taken right from her home in broad day light with her father in another room)

I heard the news today while listening to the radio, when it first happened they played the audio of the little girl's father crying hysterically, pleading for his daughter to be returned safely... then an hour or so later they announced that her body was found dead

I know people will point to faith and religion, but I am wondering how parents goes on -- when the most important thing in the world to you has been taken -- is it possible to ever have any sort of life with peace and comfort again? and I thought about what I would do if it were my child, and I really don't know that I could find much reason to live if something like that happened to my family, it's one thing to have tragedy strike with an illness or an accident, but something like this? I don't know how you could ever stop the pain of something like this... my heart and prayers go out to this family, and to other families like them that have suffered such tragic loss. I just hope they have people in their lives that can help them find a way to go on. I don't know if they have any other children or not, if they do that may be how they can carry on, but I don't think they had any other children.

well what do you say? do you just have to come to terms and accept fate, is that how this sort of thing works? I hope I never find out...

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Old 07-26-2002, 11:47 PM   #2
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Hope I never have to deal with this either, but it really can happen to anybody, which is perhaps the scariest thing of all to contemplate...

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Old 07-27-2002, 03:46 AM   #3
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Is there a way to go on? You look at these people and they somehow keep living. I also wonder how I would cope.
Tonight my sister has gone to a sports memorabilia auction. It is a fundraiser for a woman she works with. 2 years ago this friend of hers lost her son in a terrible car accident. The other driver was completely at fault, and a legal battle followed. The stress of the court case led her husband to have a fatal heart attack a few months after it. She woke up one morning to find him dead in her bed next to him. Last week, this woman, like she has not been punished enough, buried her second son. He died from a brain tumour he has been fighting for over a year. This woman has no family left. She has buried both her babies and her husband of some 25 years.
Death is unfathomable, but you should never bury your own children.
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Old 07-27-2002, 08:07 AM   #4
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I'm fortunate never to have had such evil done to me. Tragedies (like accidents) I have coped with, I'd even go as far as saying that tragedies are easier to deal with than having despicable acts done by other humans. I quickly turned to this passage upon reading this thread: ...yet another messenger came and said, "your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" At this, Job got up and tore his rove and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."In this way, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. Read into it what you will. So they played the recording of the father's desperate voice on the radio... I think I'd just break down if I had heard it myself. Sigh... Well, that's all I have to say here.

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Old 07-27-2002, 10:07 AM   #5
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You never get over it.

I knew a girl from Sarajevo. Her 10 year old cousin was struck by shrapnel, and they had to amputate his leg. Eventually, he got septic, and they put him into an ambulance to try to get out of Sarajevo, because they ran out of antibiotics. When they got to the outposts of the city, Serb soldiers didn't let them through (because the boy was Muslim). The ambulance had no choice but drive back, and the boy begged his father not to let him die. He died anyways, just outside of the hospital.

The parents never got over it, and they never will. I think they go on for the benefit of their remaining children, but the ghost is still there.
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Old 07-27-2002, 02:31 PM   #6
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The closest I've come to this is losing my then 3 year old son on a very crowded pier on Fathers' Day. He was with my husband in a shop and in a split second he was gone. My first thought was that someone grabbed him because he was an over friendly little guy who would talk to anyone or that he had fallen off the pier into the ocean.

He was only gone 10 minutes (he said he just wanted to see the ocean) but those were the worst 10 minutes of my entire life, literally. I was hysterical at the thought of never seeing my baby again. I ran to the police substation and expected that a missing 3 year old would bring out entire police force but they acted very nonchalant about it and told me that kids go missing there all the time...but they didn't understand...this was MY kid and I wanted him back NOW.

I almost collapsed just being separated from my son for 10 minutes. I honestly don't know how a parent who loses their child forever ever gets over it. There must be some type of hidden strength you tap into but I hope I never have to learn first hand.
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Old 07-27-2002, 02:37 PM   #7
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These stories scare me and really make me not want to have kids...I would worry about them constantly...I'd be afraid to let them leave the house, even to just play in the yard. Then again, it's not like we are very safe in our houses anyway.
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Old 07-28-2002, 01:42 PM   #8
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I don't know. they showed a bit of Samantha Runnion's funeral and I couldn't help myself looking at her mother, it's the most heart-breaking thing Ive ever seen. I really don't know; I think all I would want to do is die if something like that ever happened to someone I loved the way those parents love their children, I mean that's what they live for.....

any other type of death, not that it makes it better, but you know that all they'll be thinking about for a long time is the last hours of their baby's life....

how could people do this?

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