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Old 01-28-2005, 10:55 AM   #16
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melon and mrs springsteen
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Old 01-28-2005, 11:01 AM   #17
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I know it exists. And I'm pretty sure it will never happen to me. I keep hoping, but my bitterness is rapidly killing it off.

On the other hand, most people I see who are in relationships are those melon described--all about the appearence of love, participating in a sham because "its what everyone else is doing."
They *have* to be with a boyfriend or girlfriend, not because they have connected with them on a deeper level, but out of social pressure. It's a possession, like a cell phone. What's disturbing is how many children and marriages I've seen come out of such phony pairings.
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Old 01-28-2005, 11:17 AM   #18
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I believe in romantic love, yes...though, if you've been with someone for over 13 years, and now have a couple kids, it usually transforms into something like "perpetual great fondness and appreciation"...which, you know, is also pretty great.
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Old 01-28-2005, 11:26 AM   #19
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I think there's a huge difference between attraction and love, and that romance can be a part of either (or not) depending on the two people. Personally, it took my husband and I a long time to get over the attraction thing, and that's when we found each other. Romance is something that doesn't cross his mind, but he now brings me flowers every so often, which I love. On the other hand I don't subscribe to the idea that everyone else needs to see him taking me out on Valentines Day. In fact, I find going out on that day to be extremely unromantic. But, my parents, still give each other cards and my Dad usually does something romantic for my Mom (he's more romantic than she is) and they've been married for forty-seven years (which doesn't mean they don't argue).
I once had a discussion with my husband where I said "you know how there are certain fantasies that turn you on? Well, there are certain romantic things you can do that have the same effect on me." That's when he really understood what I meant.
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Old 01-28-2005, 05:04 PM   #20
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Four years in a commited hasn't been enough for me. So tomarrow, I'm proposing. Not kidding.
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Old 01-28-2005, 07:57 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
If you really want to know if it exists, find what you think it is and then lose it. There's your answer.
yes, I can whole-heartedly support this statement. AND to add even more to it, lose it and know that it's all your fault that it's gone.
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Old 01-28-2005, 08:58 PM   #22
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It's funny how our perceptions and opinions of romance get altered after/during every relationship we have. My last relationship lasted about eleven months, and it was a unique relationship. Unique in that it was an internet relationship, and we never met once. We weren't that close to each other geographically. We had a lot in common and we really liked each other a lot. And we mistook that for love, which in turn made it easy for both of us to look past some glaring and obvious differences between us. Late in the relationship, we kept coming back to those differences more and more often(and they had to do with political beliefs and life goals) and eventually we agreed to end it, and we did it like a band-aid. And the thing is, I was much more relieved than I was bummed or sad or whatever. The truth is, there's only so much romance you can have on the interent, and there was none in the last two months of that relationship. Why? Because romance isn't about words, it's about gestures. Furthermore, it's about subtle gestures. It has to be in order to be successful. If you need big grand romantic gestures from your signficant other in order to be satisfied or content or what have you, the relationship probably isn't a good one.

Frankly, I want more to find a person that I feel comfortable and natural with, and that I don't NEED to put forth big romantic gestures...I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Ok...picture this: Being able to sit around with the person in pajamas, either in the middle of the night or early in the morning, and just talk, play a game, watch a movie, have a drink, enjoy each other's company, kill time. Don't have to censor what you say, don't need any gestures, don't need any movie-romance-sparks, don't need any big events. Just need the company.

That, to me, is far more valuable than any big romantic gesture.
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Old 01-29-2005, 01:45 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by LoveTown


yes, I can whole-heartedly support this statement. AND to add even more to it, lose it and know that it's all your fault that it's gone.

very true LT
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Old 01-29-2005, 03:52 AM   #24
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very true LT
s back at ya
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Old 01-29-2005, 06:27 AM   #25
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Four years in a commited hasn't been enough for me. So tomarrow, I'm proposing. Not kidding.
Ask permission from Daddy first.....
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Old 01-29-2005, 09:52 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by namkcuR
Frankly, I want more to find a person that I feel comfortable and natural with, and that I don't NEED to put forth big romantic gestures...I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Ok...picture this: Being able to sit around with the person in pajamas, either in the middle of the night or early in the morning, and just talk, play a game, watch a movie, have a drink, enjoy each other's company, kill time. Don't have to censor what you say, don't need any gestures, don't need any movie-romance-sparks, don't need any big events. Just need the company.
It's 1pm on Saturday and that's exactly what the boy and I are doing right now.

Oh and Dread is right -- ask Daddy first. It seems totally way traditional but your girl will appreciate the fact that you respect her family.

As for romance, I'll have to post another thread as it gets closer but I hate Valentine's Day. Hate it. If you love someone, you shouldn't need an excuse like a holiday to tell them you love them. We may go overboard this year and order pizza or something but other than that, screw it. It's nice to get notes and flowers for no reason. And while jewelry is more from the wallet, a card is more from the heart. Which one is better?
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:40 AM   #27
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I believe in love and one day everyone will find true romantic love.
Also, sex is very different when you are truly in love. Its kinda like an electrical storm.
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Old 01-29-2005, 04:14 PM   #28
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Originally posted by Dreadsox
I married the right woman.....I just keep tying a bow to myself every Valentines Day and say honey.....

here I am


hehehehe

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Old 01-29-2005, 05:26 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by namkcuR
It's funny how our perceptions and opinions of romance get altered after/during every relationship we have. My last relationship lasted about eleven months, and it was a unique relationship. Unique in that it was an internet relationship, and we never met once. We weren't that close to each other geographically. We had a lot in common and we really liked each other a lot. And we mistook that for love, which in turn made it easy for both of us to look past some glaring and obvious differences between us. Late in the relationship, we kept coming back to those differences more and more often(and they had to do with political beliefs and life goals) and eventually we agreed to end it, and we did it like a band-aid. And the thing is, I was much more relieved than I was bummed or sad or whatever. The truth is, there's only so much romance you can have on the interent, and there was none in the last two months of that relationship. Why? Because romance isn't about words, it's about gestures. Furthermore, it's about subtle gestures. It has to be in order to be successful. If you need big grand romantic gestures from your signficant other in order to be satisfied or content or what have you, the relationship probably isn't a good one.

Frankly, I want more to find a person that I feel comfortable and natural with, and that I don't NEED to put forth big romantic gestures...I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Ok...picture this: Being able to sit around with the person in pajamas, either in the middle of the night or early in the morning, and just talk, play a game, watch a movie, have a drink, enjoy each other's company, kill time. Don't have to censor what you say, don't need any gestures, don't need any movie-romance-sparks, don't need any big events. Just need the company.

That, to me, is far more valuable than any big romantic gesture.
I thought I was experiencing an internet relationship myself, and was looking forward to making it real. As my luck would have it, the first time in a very long time I was ready to meet someone new - it would have to be that the someone that I was interested in really didn't want a relationship. I do think we had political beliefs & life goals in common - which is what attracted me in the first place.

So, to answer the question "have I had enough of of romantic love" I would say it that for me, it would be wonderful to experience that again after so many years.

I think being comfortable with each other is the most important thing, but if that is the case - wouldn't if be easy to make big romantic gestures? I married my ex in process because we were comfortable together, or so I thought. I think the key is to have the romantic beginning merge seemlessly into comfort zone.
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Old 01-29-2005, 05:45 PM   #30
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Im such a romantic its almost yucky.....
I love romance
I seek it out
I was bitter against it at one point but once you find somebody that just does it for you how can you be so against romantic love?
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