bonosloveslave said:You're right dread, I think in instances where trust has been broken it is much more difficult - and I don't think it is prudent to say, I forgive you, we'll just pretend this never happened. Forgiving someone and giving them your trust are 2 different things. Deep said what I was trying to say - that forgiveness is more for your benefit than for the other person.
sulawesigirl4 said:Forgiveness releases the hold of the wrong on me. It allows me to act independently of that harm, not because of it.
Dreadsox said:
Do you have to trust that person again to show forgiveness? Acting independantly of that harm does it mean that you extend that trust towards them again?
sulawesigirl4 said:But that may depend on how you define "trust". Acting independently, at least as I see it, means that what that person did to me no longer has control over my choices in the future. .... I choose to forgive them, to release them from my desire for revenge and what may be a legitimate grievance. Thus I too am freed to move forward.
Dreadsox said:As for having control over choices, that is where the quandry is. To trust would mean allowing a relationship to start up again. Do you have to let a relationship begin again to demonstrate forgiveness?
nbcrusader said:
I wouldn't think so. To me, forgiveness eliminates the negative expressions toward the individual. Maybe back to the status of acquaintance, but not necessarily having a closer relationship with them.
Very difficult things to quantify.
Dreadsox said:
See, I asked for the person to take a step with me towards reconcilliation, but I wanted an intermediary present to work through things. This person rejected that. I do feel it is lifted from me however, aside from being told I was the "SON of the DEVIL" I was told that I clearly had not forgiven since I would not open my life and my family's lives to that person unconditionally and that basically I had not forgiven.