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Old 08-06-2003, 01:35 PM   #16
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Originally posted by Dreadsox
As for having control over choices, that is where the quandry is. To trust would mean allowing a relationship to start up again. Do you have to let a relationship begin again to demonstrate forgiveness?
I wouldn't think so. To me, forgiveness eliminates the negative expressions toward the individual. Maybe back to the status of acquaintance, but not necessarily having a closer relationship with them.

Very difficult things to quantify.
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Old 08-06-2003, 02:38 PM   #17
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Quote:
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I wouldn't think so. To me, forgiveness eliminates the negative expressions toward the individual. Maybe back to the status of acquaintance, but not necessarily having a closer relationship with them.

Very difficult things to quantify.
See, I asked for the person to take a step with me towards reconcilliation, but I wanted an intermediary present to work through things. This person rejected that. I do feel it is lifted from me however, aside from being told I was the "SON of the DEVIL" I was told that I clearly had not forgiven since I would not open my life and my family's lives to that person unconditionally and that basically I had not forgiven.
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Old 08-06-2003, 02:46 PM   #18
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I have trouble with a legalistic definition for forgiveness - such as the opening of your life and your family's life. If you have forgiven the person and have forgiven them before God, i wouldn't let someone else tell you what you need to do to "achieve" forgiveness.

You can forgive someone and still protect yourself and your family by keeping them on an acquaintance level.
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Old 08-07-2003, 07:24 PM   #19
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Recently there was a full page ad taken out in a local Boston newspaper. This ad was taken out by the family of a murdered teen and was directed toward the teen who had committed the murder and that teen's family. The family of the murdered teen used that very public forum to forgive the teen who had murdered their son. It must have been very difficult for them to have done this, especially in such a public way. This ad had been taken out within a couple of weeks of their sons death. To me, that was the ultimate in Grace and forgiveness. They did NOT at anytime say that the teen should get away with his crime, nor will they ever be able to forget. Forgetting is not necessarily part of the act of forgiveness. Usually it's much more difficult for the forgiver to forgive than it is for the forgiven to accept.
In the case above, if it had been me, I really have no idea if I would have been able to do what that family did. Is that the type of thing you were looking for Dread?
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Old 08-07-2003, 07:34 PM   #20
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Yes U2 Luv. That is in the ballpark. THanks for posting it.

Peace
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Old 08-09-2003, 04:05 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox


See, I asked for the person to take a step with me towards reconcilliation, but I wanted an intermediary present to work through things. This person rejected that. I do feel it is lifted from me however, aside from being told I was the "SON of the DEVIL" I was told that I clearly had not forgiven since I would not open my life and my family's lives to that person unconditionally and that basically I had not forgiven.
Just because you forgive doesn't mean you need to let yourself be in the same position you were before. Your willingness to move towards reconciliation should be enough. "Son of the Devil" indeed .
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Old 08-09-2003, 04:12 PM   #22
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I have struggled with forgiveness. I had a terrible time when someone really hurt me and I had to go to drastic measures to cut off a relationship, with a third party. I couldn't talk to the guy himself. It took me years to really forgive this guy. It was very difficult. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do when truly horrific pain is part of the equation.
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