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Old 07-01-2004, 04:43 PM   #16
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too many people look at to forgive someone as being the better person
while it should just be about being a normal person
it's not a way to feel better about yourself
it's because you truly recognize another persons flaws
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Old 07-01-2004, 06:13 PM   #17
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heh. This related any to the thread you made about this topic around August of last year?

Think BLS made the best point there.....
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Old 07-01-2004, 11:14 PM   #18
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It is a tough time of year for me.
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Old 07-01-2004, 11:40 PM   #19
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It is a tough time of year for me.
Sorry to hear that Dread. I hope things get better.

Take care.
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Old 07-01-2004, 11:40 PM   #20
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Yes, sorry to hear you're having a tough time.

I think that some instances are so difficult to forgive that it requires God's help.
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Old 07-01-2004, 11:52 PM   #21
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Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar


Sorry to hear that Dread. I hope things get better.

Take care.
I am good...not to fret...but it is a topic a struggle with and it is always this time of year.

I am throwing myself into doing lots of good charity work and into my family...I will be running a camp in two weeks which will get me into Aufust, and then, school starts and I can throw myself into work and stop obsessing over things.

Peace
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Old 07-02-2004, 08:54 AM   #22
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I understand what you say about obsessing. I think it's extremely difficult to forgive in cases when it's someone who by all standards is supposed to love you unconditionally, support you-build you up instead of tearing you down. My faith tells me to forgive, but to do so is so difficult. I think it you think of it as healing yourself and not letting them off the hook, it's easier.

I just wonder how people who never acknowledge what they have done and admit they were so wrong for doing it live w/ themselves. It's easy to say that people are flawed and we should accept that (and of course that's true), but to forgive and live w/ certain things is difficult and painful.

I think it's a good question to ask..are certain things ultimately unforgivable?
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Old 07-02-2004, 09:18 AM   #23
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Forgiving is never ever easy, for me its about control, I cant forgive unless someone genuinely wants to redeem themselves otherwise I become percieved as weak and it will only lead to trouble.

Some things are unforgivable but if somebody works hard to make things right then I think they can earn their way back, but never make things normal.
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Old 07-02-2004, 09:21 AM   #24
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Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen

I think it's a good question to ask..are certain things ultimately unforgivable?
I think things are forgivable, however, the difficulty is in the outward actions afterward. If I have forgiven do I have to extend the arm of friendship back to the person. Do I have to put my family in jeopardy? My marriage?


When the person says "If you have forgiven me, you should let me into your life or you are not a good Christian." What do you do when the old wounds are open sores, still bleeding inside you and you fear exposing them or your family to them?

I think there is a difference between forgiveness and reconcilliation. I think in some cases what we call unforgivable, are not truly unforgivable, they are unreconsilable.
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Old 07-02-2004, 09:41 AM   #25
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Not to butt into your personal life, but I think using the "you are not a good Christian" argument is manipulative. I think people will say things like that to make you feel guilty. That is for you to decide, not them-and between you and your higher power.

I definitely don't think you have to put your marriage/family in jeopardy. It is your right to draw the line, not the other person, in my humble opinion. And if they can't accept that, well that's how it goes I suppose. Good luck
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Old 07-02-2004, 12:17 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
I think it you think of it as healing yourself and not letting them off the hook, it's easier.
I agree with this. And I also think there is a big difference between forgiving someone and reconciliation. Just because you were able to forgive someone does not mean you have to expose your life to them again. Things will never be the same, anyway. Do what is best for yourself and your family.

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Old 07-02-2004, 02:37 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox
When the person says "If you have forgiven me, you should let me into your life or you are not a good Christian."
I

um.
okay.
whoa.
I may not be Christian myself but it seems terribly presumptuous of anyone... to think they are of such religious authority themselves... to point a finger at another human being and proclaim "do what I want you to do or you are not a good Christian"....

that's.. that's just perverted and sick manipulation of what can be, and often is, a religion of love and comfort.

ultimately 'forgiveness' has only to do with yourself.. if you have forgiven someone's transgressions against you.. nothing says you have to let them back into your life. forgiving what happened does not mean the wound disappears...

meh. You may well not care to hear anything I have to say on the matter.... I'm a Scorpio after all, we're not known for having a forgiving nature.
But I know manipulation when I see it, and it sickens me when someone twists religious faith to do it. Nobody deserves that.

May you find a spark of light in your time of dark, whatever its source might be.
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