Fellow Christians: My girlfriend and I need your help.

[80sU2isBest]

So all the time before you were baptised you never really lived?

Spiritually, I was dead in my sin. That's what the Bible says.

 

[80sU2isBest]

How do you become a Christian? Is it when you decide you want to be baptised and recieve the Holy Ghost and make a covenant unto God? Or how is it for you? It is true when you are baptised you are washed clean of all your sins, just as a new born baby, clean and pure, a new chance, a new oppurtunity.

I realized that I was a sinner and that I could not save myself; only God could,a nd that Christ had paid the price of my own sin. I asked God to forgive my sins and he did. I decided to trust him completely and follow him. I believe that it was at that moment that I becam "born again". I was, as you said, washed clean of all my sins, just as a new born baby, clean and pure, a new chance, a new oppurtunity.

I was baptized a few years after I became I Christian. It is my belief that baptism is not necessary for salvation but is a sign of obedience and is a sign to the world that the "old me" has been crucified and that the enw me has been born.

 

[80sU2isBest]

Good night, everyonee.

 

[u2bonogirl]

later


I think Im done too
My thoughts arent coming out the way I want them to and its frustrating me

 

[deep]

I believe she was unsaved. A couple years ago we had prayed "the prayer" together, but I think since then she had really fallen away. It's hard for me to say for sure whether I believe a christian can be possessed or not, but I can tell you I'm pretty sure that she had fallen away from God.

bit by bit

in this thread

the demon is exposing himself

 

[BVS]

bit by bit

in this thread

the demon is exposing himself

I'm not sure he'll get that...

 

[starsgoblue]

I'm sort of surprised, but then again not really, at the turn this thread has taken. I am a Christian. I do not believe in demonic possesion, but I most certainly believe in demonic oppression. I have seen and been a part of some things that I just cannot simply explain any other way. If I hadn't seen if with my own eyes I certainly would have my doubts. I also understand the importance of medical science, after all a disciple was a physician himself. There is most definetly differences between the two. Regardless, shart I told you that you were welcome to email me if you wanted to and you didn't have access to my email so here it is: elev8mehere@yahoo.com

I do not know the entire situation with your girlfriend and I'm not going to pretend to know...so please believe I am not judging. I think we all can agree that this person needs to talk to several people, a doctor being one of them as well as a pastor. As I said, I do not know the whole situation....

 

[ewen]

I'm going to share a story that my dad is particular fond of telling. I think it applies here.

During a particular rainy season in Mississippi, the river spilled it's banks and flooded a small rural town. A young man saw the water rising steadily, but did not know how to swim. He climbed up onto the roof of his house and began to pray. "God, I have followed your path as long as I can remember. I have faith that you will save me."

Soon his neighbors from across the street paddled over in a canoe, and shouted for him to come down and climb in.

"No thanks!" said the young man. "God will save me!" Shrugging, the neighbors paddled down the street and out of sight.

Still the floodwaters rose, until they were at the bottom of the roof. "God will save me," said the young man, "I have faith."

As the water began to lap at his feet, another neighbor approached in a canoe and implored the young man to climb in so they could row to safety.

"Thank you, but I have faith that God will save me! Go, get to safety!" Shrugging, the neighbor moved on.

The waters continued to rise, until the young man could no longer stay afloat. He drowned. Upon appearing in Heaven, the young man, somewhat confused, asked God "God, why did you not save me? My faith has always been strong!"

To which God replied "Did you not see the two canoes I sent you?"

-----

Don't ignore help simply because it doesn't announce itself as being from God.

 

[starsforu2]

Shart, if you're still reading this: A few thoughts...

I'm a Christian, so at least you know where this is coming from.

I commend your faith, but I also caution you in it as well. If your girlfriend commits suicide, are you going to blame God because he didn't save her, despite your prayers, or will you blame yourself for not praying hard enough? Trusting God includes trusting his people. I myself (not so very long ago) prayed hard and counseled a non-christian woman that I was dating. The way we met was so bizarre I thought it has to be God and that if only she became a Christian, I'd finally have found my wife. Well, it didn't work out that way, all my prayers, all of the time I spent counseling her, didn't work. She didn't become a Christian, we broke up and she is out of my life forever. The moral of the story is that God does things according to HIS will, not yours. He hears our prayers, but sometimes he helps to refine them as well. You can pray for change and trust in him, but be prepared that if this goes south, you must be like Job. I fear that you are setting yourself up for an unrealistic fall.

Job 1:21
And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”


Paul describes the Church as a body, and everyone in that body has a role to play. If you aren't a part of a church body, you are like a hand separated, rotting away. We need one another to see things that we can't see on our own. You must humble yourself and talk with a pastor, a strong Christian friend and tell them what is going on. They have been put in your life to strengthen you, to correct you, to love you and to care for you.

To do this alone is foolish.

Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 26:12
Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

You've heard a variety of different opinions from the people on this board, and what you have heard from every single one is to seek help.

So use wisdom, and get help, it doesn't have to be from a Psychiatrist or Psychologist but be open to the idea that it should be from someone who has a lot more experience with this type of thing than you do. Pastors and Christian Counselers are great, the same is true of Christians Psychiatrists and Christian Psychologists. It's true that there is a war going on in our spirit but sometimes are weak flesh can make it harder to resist. I'll leave you with this.

My Mom is a very strong Christian. She loves God, and it's apparent with every move she makes. God also made her weak in some pronounced areas. After having kids her brain chemicals changed. She is bi-polar. There is a physical problem with the chemicals in her brain, (not unlike having low iron in your blood, or being anemic) and so she takes Lithium (a salt) it does not give her a false sense of happiness or mask her spiritual battles. All that it does is keep her brain from skipping all over the map so that she can be lucid enough to receive grace from God and others. When my Mom is off her medication, she is unreachable. When you can't speak to a person's heart because they can't understand you (not unlike reading bible verses in English to a person who speaks Spanish), it may be time to think about psychiatrists and doctors who can use their God given talents to provide grace to your girlfriend.

God bless you, we'll be praying for you, please be humble enough to consider that you may not be allowing God to work in her life in all the ways that God can. God gave us medicine, God gave us each other, God gave us uncommon Grace in this country to get better care than in other places in the world. Do not be foolish and reject things that he has put in your path to help you.

 

[pax]

Shart, please consider carefully the points that Tim (starsforu2) made. I think he's presenting his ideas to you in a very respectful and considerate manner, and I would hope that you can see that he's definitely coming from a Christian perspective.

We all just want to see you and your girlfriend be well.

 

[u2bonogirl]

what they both said

 

[beegee]

too often, the word "christian" is thrown around like confetti, and there are a few perfect examples of it in this thread. in fact, there are a couple of people i'd like to question, but i'm afraid that my intentions would be misconstrued.

i was brought up in a "christian" church. i have since fallen away. far away. i struggle everyday with what faith means to me. i am always questioning. i am always looking for examples. and when i see christians doing or saying things are are not so christ-like, it makes that struggle even harder.

 

[u2bonogirl]

that was me a few years ago
I had to find my way back on my own, not have people telling me what I was supposed to believe. Since then Ive been able to ignore the hypocrital nature of humans and focus on how I'm supposed to be

 

[beegee]

actually, u2bonogirl, you are one of the people i wanted to question

 

[80sU2isBest]

Shart, if you're still reading this: A few thoughts...

I'm a Christian, so at least you know where this is coming from.

I commend your faith, but I also caution you in it as well. If your girlfriend commits suicide, are you going to blame God because he didn't save her, despite your prayers, or will you blame yourself for not praying hard enough? Trusting God includes trusting his people. I myself (not so very long ago) prayed hard and counseled a non-christian woman that I was dating. The way we met was so bizarre I thought it has to be God and that if only she became a Christian, I'd finally have found my wife. Well, it didn't work out that way, all my prayers, all of the time I spent counseling her, didn't work. She didn't become a Christian, we broke up and she is out of my life forever. The moral of the story is that God does things according to HIS will, not yours. He hears our prayers, but sometimes he helps to refine them as well. You can pray for change and trust in him, but be prepared that if this goes south, you must be like Job. I fear that you are setting yourself up for an unrealistic fall.

Job 1:21
And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”


Paul describes the Church as a body, and everyone in that body has a role to play. If you aren't a part of a church body, you are like a hand separated, rotting away. We need one another to see things that we can't see on our own. You must humble yourself and talk with a pastor, a strong Christian friend and tell them what is going on. They have been put in your life to strengthen you, to correct you, to love you and to care for you.

To do this alone is foolish.

Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 26:12
Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

You've heard a variety of different opinions from the people on this board, and what you have heard from every single one is to seek help.

So use wisdom, and get help, it doesn't have to be from a Psychiatrist or Psychologist but be open to the idea that it should be from someone who has a lot more experience with this type of thing than you do. Pastors and Christian Counselers are great, the same is true of Christians Psychiatrists and Christian Psychologists. It's true that there is a war going on in our spirit but sometimes are weak flesh can make it harder to resist. I'll leave you with this.

My Mom is a very strong Christian. She loves God, and it's apparent with every move she makes. God also made her weak in some pronounced areas. After having kids her brain chemicals changed. She is bi-polar. There is a physical problem with the chemicals in her brain, (not unlike having low iron in your blood, or being anemic) and so she takes Lithium (a salt) it does not give her a false sense of happiness or mask her spiritual battles. All that it does is keep her brain from skipping all over the map so that she can be lucid enough to receive grace from God and others. When my Mom is off her medication, she is unreachable. When you can't speak to a person's heart because they can't understand you (not unlike reading bible verses in English to a person who speaks Spanish), it may be time to think about psychiatrists and doctors who can use their God given talents to provide grace to your girlfriend.

God bless you, we'll be praying for you, please be humble enough to consider that you may not be allowing God to work in her life in all the ways that God can. God gave us medicine, God gave us each other, God gave us uncommon Grace in this country to get better care than in other places in the world. Do not be foolish and reject things that he has put in your path to help you.

stars, that was a very loving approach...you are to be commended.

 

[80sU2isBest]

actually, u2bonogirl, you are one of the people i wanted to question

Whoa, wait a minute...

Why did you give that response? Questioning someone on their faith is one thing, but saying "I'm not gonna do it" and then turning around and saying "but you're one of the people I would question, if I were going to question someone, which I'm not" sounds like a snippy attack. Whether you intended it that way or not, that's how it comes off, even if you do put a smilie after it.

Now, if you want to question my faith, I'll answer, but it will be tomorrow, as I really need to get some work done today.

 

[u2bonogirl]

gee. um. thanks

Im actually kind of hurt by that
I thought I made it clear in here that Im a christian. Obviously not

 

[pax]

Let's not jump to conclusions about what bg meant just yet. She may have simply meant that she wanted to ask Tara some questions. I don't think she meant it in an unkind way.

 

[starsforu2]

gee. um. thanks

Im actually kind of hurt by that
I thought I made it clear in here that Im a christian. Obviously not

Yeah, my reaction to Bonosgirl84 was similar --- If she has some concerns, or thinks that you or I for that matter are hypocritical or are unchristlike, then I think a PM would be the right place for that. Knowing you, I know that her comment left unfinished will cause you to eat away at yourself, whereas a direct question will allow you to respond, defend yourself if necessary, or bring about change, if it's required.

The naked phrase "actually, u2bonogirl, you are one of the people i wanted to question " leaves too much to the imagination.

Being Christian doesn't mean being perfect, for we are human. It means that we're trusting Christ to save us. In our response to that, we begin to obey and conform to his will, and we don't do it perfectly. But growth is what it's about, not perfection. Tara has grown significantly, even in the time that I have known her.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Im in agreement with Tim on this one. If she wanted to ask me something then do it, dont just leave the statement there to humiliate me or make me feel bad

 

[beegee]

Whoa, wait a minute...

Why did you give that response? Questioning someone on their faith is one thing, but saying "I'm not gonna do it" and then turning around and saying "but you're one of the people I would question, if I were going to question someone, which I'm not" sounds like a snippy attack. Whether you intended it that way or not, that's how it comes off, even if you do put a smilie after it.

Now, if you want to question my faith, I'll answer, but it will be tomorrow, as I really need to get some work done today.

i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing it out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.

actually, i have been thinking about this all morning, and it took quite a bit of courage for me to post what i did. as someone who is confused by christianity, shouldn't i be questioning people of faith?

but you see, just like i said in my original post, my intentions were misconstrued.

my fear was valid, when, in fact, i could not have been more sincere.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I just wasnt clear on what you meant at all. the way it came off was that you were questioning my faith in God. Not my views on faith
If you want to ask me questions then I really dont mind, but I was confused by you just leaving that up there.
Okay, so ask away
Or if you like we can start an "ask the" thread

 

[financeguy]

i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing in out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.

Yes but it's not the point of this thread to have some kind of free for all discussion on what is meant by Christian beliefs. If you want to do that, start another thread. I can see why some thought your remark came across as 'snippy' even if you didn't mean it that way.

 

[beegee]

I just wasnt clear on what you meant at all. the way it came off was that you were questioning my faith in God. Not my views on faith
If you want to ask me questions then I really dont mind, but I was confused by you just leaving that up there.
Okay, so ask away
Or if you like we can start an "ask the" thread

thanks, but i think i'd rather just shrink away now.

in two and a half years i have never had a post be so completely misunderstood.

 

[80sU2isBest]

i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing it out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.

actually, i have been thinking about this all morning, and it took quite a bit of courage for me to post what i did. as someone who is confused by christianity, shouldn't i be questioning people of faith?

but you see, just like i said in my original post, my intentions were misconstrued.

my fear was valid, when, in fact, i could not have been more sincere.

The reason some of us took it in a way that you didn't intend it was that your post:

"too often, the word "christian" is thrown around like confetti, and there are a few perfect examples of it in this thread. in fact, there are a couple of people i'd like to question, but i'm afraid that my intentions would be misconstrued"

followed by:

"you are one of the ones I wanted to question"

makes it seem like you are questioning her Christianity.

Look, we all word things sometimes in a way we didn't intend. If that's the case here, no biggie. But surely you can understand why people would be a tad miffed and why it might her feelings.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Unfortunately my feelings can be hurt easily sometimes
Im just going to let this one go now, and try to be more clear about what I believe from now on

 

[nbcrusader]

too often, the word "christian" is thrown around like confetti, and there are a few perfect examples of it in this thread. in fact, there are a couple of people i'd like to question, but i'm afraid that my intentions would be misconstrued.

I would agree with your sentiments and would agree that a few questions may clear up misunderstandings.



I hope we can get back to helping a member in need.

 

[cell]

wow, i cannot believe all the attacks on one person...just for the sake of wanting to ask a question.

even tho i left interference a week ago, i feel like i have to say something, in defense of bonosgirl, who is my friend outside of interference.

i just spoke to her on the phone, (sorry bg, i have to say something) and you guys seriously made her cry.

you guys just missed out on an opportunity to witness. to maybe answer questions she may have had.

this is very discouraging.

way to go.

 

[beegee]

makes it seem like you are questioning her Christianity.

Look, we all word things sometimes in a way we didn't intend. If that's the case here, no biggie. But surely you can understand why people would be a tad miffed and why it might her feelings.

i am questioning her christianity. that's what non-believers do when they are searching.

i didn't say anything in a way i didn't intend. it was everyone else who assumed my intentions were insincere.

and no, i don't understand why people would be "miffed" instead of witnessing to someone who was reaching out.

i'm sorry this turned out the way it did.

in the future, when i have questions, i will look elsewhere.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I dont understand how she feels that way if I offered to answer anything, AND I sent her a PM

Yeah, missing an opportunity to witness, but witness to what? Nothings been asked
You know, she wasnt the only one crying because she fely misunderstood
and I cant believe I just admitted that