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Old 06-24-2005, 07:44 AM   #136
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Originally posted by bonosgirl84
actually, u2bonogirl, you are one of the people i wanted to question
Whoa, wait a minute...

Why did you give that response? Questioning someone on their faith is one thing, but saying "I'm not gonna do it" and then turning around and saying "but you're one of the people I would question, if I were going to question someone, which I'm not" sounds like a snippy attack. Whether you intended it that way or not, that's how it comes off, even if you do put a smilie after it.

Now, if you want to question my faith, I'll answer, but it will be tomorrow, as I really need to get some work done today.
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Old 06-24-2005, 07:51 AM   #137
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gee. um. thanks

Im actually kind of hurt by that
I thought I made it clear in here that Im a christian. Obviously not
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Old 06-24-2005, 07:54 AM   #138
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Let's not jump to conclusions about what bg meant just yet. She may have simply meant that she wanted to ask Tara some questions. I don't think she meant it in an unkind way.
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Old 06-24-2005, 07:58 AM   #139
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl
gee. um. thanks

Im actually kind of hurt by that
I thought I made it clear in here that Im a christian. Obviously not
Yeah, my reaction to Bonosgirl84 was similar --- If she has some concerns, or thinks that you or I for that matter are hypocritical or are unchristlike, then I think a PM would be the right place for that. Knowing you, I know that her comment left unfinished will cause you to eat away at yourself, whereas a direct question will allow you to respond, defend yourself if necessary, or bring about change, if it's required.

The naked phrase "actually, u2bonogirl, you are one of the people i wanted to question " leaves too much to the imagination.

Being Christian doesn't mean being perfect, for we are human. It means that we're trusting Christ to save us. In our response to that, we begin to obey and conform to his will, and we don't do it perfectly. But growth is what it's about, not perfection. Tara has grown significantly, even in the time that I have known her.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:00 AM   #140
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Im in agreement with Tim on this one. If she wanted to ask me something then do it, dont just leave the statement there to humiliate me or make me feel bad
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:01 AM   #141
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest

Whoa, wait a minute...

Why did you give that response? Questioning someone on their faith is one thing, but saying "I'm not gonna do it" and then turning around and saying "but you're one of the people I would question, if I were going to question someone, which I'm not" sounds like a snippy attack. Whether you intended it that way or not, that's how it comes off, even if you do put a smilie after it.

Now, if you want to question my faith, I'll answer, but it will be tomorrow, as I really need to get some work done today.
i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing it out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.

actually, i have been thinking about this all morning, and it took quite a bit of courage for me to post what i did. as someone who is confused by christianity, shouldn't i be questioning people of faith?

but you see, just like i said in my original post, my intentions were misconstrued.

my fear was valid, when, in fact, i could not have been more sincere.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:04 AM   #142
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I just wasnt clear on what you meant at all. the way it came off was that you were questioning my faith in God. Not my views on faith
If you want to ask me questions then I really dont mind, but I was confused by you just leaving that up there.
Okay, so ask away
Or if you like we can start an "ask the" thread
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:04 AM   #143
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosgirl84
i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing in out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.
Yes but it's not the point of this thread to have some kind of free for all discussion on what is meant by Christian beliefs. If you want to do that, start another thread. I can see why some thought your remark came across as 'snippy' even if you didn't mean it that way.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:14 AM   #144
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl
I just wasnt clear on what you meant at all. the way it came off was that you were questioning my faith in God. Not my views on faith
If you want to ask me questions then I really dont mind, but I was confused by you just leaving that up there.
Okay, so ask away
Or if you like we can start an "ask the" thread
thanks, but i think i'd rather just shrink away now.

in two and a half years i have never had a post be so completely misunderstood.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:36 AM   #145
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosgirl84


i didn't mean it as a snippy attack, and i never said that i wasn't going to question her. actually, if she had posted, like you did, that she was open to questions, i was going to suggest that i pm her instead of doing it out here on the forum. but, judging by her last reply, i don't think she wants me to.

in all honesty, when i told her she was one person i wanted to question, i was hoping she would say something such as, "sure, ask me anything" therefore, breaking the ice and letting me know that it was ok to question her. but, as we can see, she did not.

actually, i have been thinking about this all morning, and it took quite a bit of courage for me to post what i did. as someone who is confused by christianity, shouldn't i be questioning people of faith?

but you see, just like i said in my original post, my intentions were misconstrued.

my fear was valid, when, in fact, i could not have been more sincere.
The reason some of us took it in a way that you didn't intend it was that your post:

"too often, the word "christian" is thrown around like confetti, and there are a few perfect examples of it in this thread. in fact, there are a couple of people i'd like to question, but i'm afraid that my intentions would be misconstrued"

followed by:

"you are one of the ones I wanted to question"

makes it seem like you are questioning her Christianity.

Look, we all word things sometimes in a way we didn't intend. If that's the case here, no biggie. But surely you can understand why people would be a tad miffed and why it might her feelings.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:49 AM   #146
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Unfortunately my feelings can be hurt easily sometimes
Im just going to let this one go now, and try to be more clear about what I believe from now on
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:51 AM   #147
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosgirl84
too often, the word "christian" is thrown around like confetti, and there are a few perfect examples of it in this thread. in fact, there are a couple of people i'd like to question, but i'm afraid that my intentions would be misconstrued.
I would agree with your sentiments and would agree that a few questions may clear up misunderstandings.



I hope we can get back to helping a member in need.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:51 AM   #148
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wow, i cannot believe all the attacks on one person...just for the sake of wanting to ask a question.

even tho i left interference a week ago, i feel like i have to say something, in defense of bonosgirl, who is my friend outside of interference.

i just spoke to her on the phone, (sorry bg, i have to say something) and you guys seriously made her cry.

you guys just missed out on an opportunity to witness. to maybe answer questions she may have had.

this is very discouraging.

way to go.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:56 AM   #149
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest
makes it seem like you are questioning her Christianity.

Look, we all word things sometimes in a way we didn't intend. If that's the case here, no biggie. But surely you can understand why people would be a tad miffed and why it might her feelings.
i am questioning her christianity. that's what non-believers do when they are searching.

i didn't say anything in a way i didn't intend. it was everyone else who assumed my intentions were insincere.

and no, i don't understand why people would be "miffed" instead of witnessing to someone who was reaching out.

i'm sorry this turned out the way it did.

in the future, when i have questions, i will look elsewhere.
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Old 06-24-2005, 08:57 AM   #150
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I dont understand how she feels that way if I offered to answer anything, AND I sent her a PM

Yeah, missing an opportunity to witness, but witness to what? Nothings been asked
You know, she wasnt the only one crying because she fely misunderstood
and I cant believe I just admitted that
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