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Old 12-11-2005, 06:14 PM   #16
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My dad died when I was three, my friend's fiance was killed in a horrible car crash and a co-worker's son was killed in Iraq recently to name a few - I can see why some people have a hard time believing God exists. I've always believed in God, even though sometimes I don't think he hears me - and I also believe in heaven - streets of gold, pearly gates, never ending banquet - I know my loved ones are in a much better place than I am and someday I'll be hangin' with them again

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Old 12-11-2005, 08:12 PM   #17
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I'm sorry dreadsox, I don't know what to say other than I hope things get better for you

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Old 12-11-2005, 08:34 PM   #18
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Believe me, I am fine....Thank you....I am just angry....So much is happening to so many around me......

I am not joking... A tree fell on my truck Friday during the 70 MPH snow storm....and I am laughing because so much has happened to so many around me I could care less about the truck.

I am just angry at God right now.

I cannot fix the world....and it is frustrating me.
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Old 12-11-2005, 08:42 PM   #19
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Originally posted by Dreadsox
I cannot fix the world....and it is frustrating me.
I know the feeling. I often believe the world has gone completely mad.

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Old 12-11-2005, 08:45 PM   #20
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It's the immense powerlessness of it all, isn't it? Anger and rage and helplessness. A promise that seems broken, a covenant of some kind betrayed. And no one ever has an adequate answer.
We can't fix the world. God can't or won't. And for all the promises of some future somewhere, all we have is the here and now. And you're never as angry at God for yourself as much as for those you love. It's God's betrayel of them that you cannot forgive now or perhaps ever or perhaps sometime. I have no answers. But I know the feeling all too well.

It's a struggle to make peace with it.
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Old 12-11-2005, 08:51 PM   #21
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My father, the most important person in my world, died suddenly on my sixteenth birthday. This story gave me some comfort, along with a lot of praying and crying and shouting at God.

In Kabbalah, they say that the universe was created by a contraction of the divine energy, resulting in a shattering of the divine light. All of creation emerged from the chaos of the resulting void, and the fragments of the light suffused it like a shower of sparks. It is the job of man to gather up these sparks, coaxing them from the fragile and damaged world in which they are enmeshed, until the divine light is once again restored, and the creation is healed and complete. In this work, we are fully God's partners.

Some days it was all I could manage to find one tiny spark to gather, and it was comforting to know that that was sufficient witness all by itself. We can't, and don't have to, grasp the whole task and plan all at once. Stick with one small step at a time and eventually, inevitably, you'll come to the bridge you're looking for.

And when all else fails, just go back to shouting for awhile. As coemgen said, God's tough--He can take it. I do find, though, that often when I'm in shouting mode, it's more that I've temporarily lost recognition of who God is, and am in fact really shouting at myself. So if it just feels draining and not at all productive...that may be why.
Originally posted by Dreadsox
I'm ok..my wife is telling me that I am carrying too much around for others....
I think she is probably right. It is so much harder to watch someone you love suffer, than to suffer yourself--and when so many close to you are suffering all at once...

You and your friends will be in my prayers.
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Old 12-11-2005, 09:20 PM   #22
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Re: Ever Want to Punch God in the Head?

Originally posted by Dreadsox
I have not attended church now but once since May.

I am pissed off at God right now.

I cannot get through it and I want no part of the church community.

The church did nothing to me....my family still goes every Sunday.

I am pissed off.

I am angry.

I was ready to go back three weeks ago....

Then I lost two people in a car crash who were near and dear to me on Thanksgiving.

Then a former student drowned 48 hours later.

Then a good friends wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I am FUCKING pissed off at God.

And God had better be the bigger of the two of us...because the fucking chasm is pretty big right now.

Any thoughts?
i haven't bothered to read through this entire thread, but i will say dreadsox that this should be enough evidence for people to realize god is not in the building.

we have each other.

why can't that be enough?

i feel for your losses. take care.
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Old 12-11-2005, 10:39 PM   #23
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I think Mrs. Dreadsox is right too - you are carrying too much for others.

I can't change the world.. but I can change the world in me...

You do a lot of great things to help make the world better. Try and focus on that too. What you do with your time is quite a wonderful thing. Teaching and volunteering really do make a difference.

I can understand your anger towards God... what happens in the world just can't happen when there is a powerful God to stop it. I do agree with Melon though - that God isn't interfering and isn't doing these bad things. I'm sorry that such awful things are happening to people you care about. Also realize that it's all out of your control and what you do that is in your control is good.
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Old 12-12-2005, 08:12 AM   #24
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Originally posted by melon
I do not believe God interferes with His creation as much as we'd like to believe. As such, we're generally left to make our own mistakes--with sometimes fatal consequences for us or others--and our genetics left to maintain integrity or completely corrupt on their own.

Plus, we also bear the burden of the mistakes of our ancestors. "Tradition" is a double-edged sword, as we often repeat the same mistakes that killed them centuries ago.

We have been granted the power to control our own destiny from the beginning; and we learn that it comes with both benefits and costs--as does everything. Even the existence of the Bible itself has proven to be a double-edged sword that often proves to be fatal just as often as it is "helpful."

And I do believe that God is bigger than any of us. I believe that to know God would be to surpass all human definitions of logic, morality, and perfection.

Wow, we have very different beliefs and yet I agree with this completely.

Dread, at the risk of getting laughed right out of here, I can offer you an astrological explanation. Early August Leos like you and me are getting a direct hit from a Sun-Saturn conjunction, a once every 28 years occurence. Things ease up by year end when Saturn begins moving away from our suns and then returns for another exact conjunction in July 2006 before moving away from us completely (to bother the rest of the August birthdays through mid-2007). Hang in there. I too am getting stretched to the max. Stretched and squeezed, actually.
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Old 12-12-2005, 08:54 AM   #25
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Dread, much has been said already that I would have said. I have been shouting at God pretty much since college. I often drown him and myself out that way. But yet, what DO we do with the questions you've raised? Kids who are abused, lovers abandonded, wars that level a country, waves that level half of SE Asia. Our 4 Hostages whose lives depend on the mercy of murderers. Friends who cannot seem to catch a fuckin break no matter what they do (so they do nothing LOL). I heard you. Keep wrestling.

"Jacob wrestled the angel, and the angel was overcome."

"Jesus, Jesus can you hear me? I'm alone in this world, and a FUCKED UP WORLD it is too"

Oh, and do listen to the Mrs. You do seem to be carrying a lot on those shoulders.
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Old 12-12-2005, 09:10 AM   #26
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i have little to offer -- i am currently in one of the best stretches of my life as a whole series of things seem to be falling into place, though i can only appreciate it now because things have been such a struggle for the past 3-4 years. i remember those dark, depressed days vivdly. all you can do is put your head down, laugh when you can, find humor in the blackness, find love in the little moments, and remember not to blame yourself too much when things go wrong or to credit yourself too much when things go to well.

i do not believe in "God's Plan." i believe that all choices made, all events that transpire in this world, tragic or joyous, are 50% chance -- and as such, we must learn to accept what simply *is* in an amoral world. the world is neither good nor bad, it simply exists. and, to me, and i assume to you, the idea of letting go from some sense of responsibility for other's pain is an enormously emotionally difficult job. you care, deeply.

i know you're a pretty big guy, but i bet people wonder how that big chest can hold a heart that's even bigger.

the impulse to feel a profound sense of injustice and to seek to battle, everyday, against that injustice, is wonderful and we need more people like you. however, you also have to give yourself room to let the pain of life leave you at the end of the day by letting go.

accepting what is does not mean that we are passive in the face of pain or suffering, it just means that we can only respond to the pain and suffering in the best way we know how -- through love, through empathy, through compassion, and through understanding that sometimes there are no answers, there is no master plan, and that all we can do in the face of what seems like chaos is draw those we love closer to us and wrap our arms around them.
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Old 12-12-2005, 10:14 AM   #27
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Brilliant posts

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Old 12-12-2005, 10:31 AM   #28
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I have gotten pissed off with God *many* times. Sometimes life is a pain in the . I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Dread.
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Old 12-12-2005, 11:00 AM   #29
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we can talk about this in a few weeks...

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Old 12-12-2005, 11:14 AM   #30
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I remember in college, not the first time God and I had it out, a friend told me, "You can get angry at God. He can take it."

When my sister was anorexic, for about three years my journals were full of angry scrawls at God. The language I used...but He's big enough. He can take it.

If you look at the book of Job, it's one long venting of frustration at God. And it's interesting, at the end of the book, when God finally answers Job, He doesn't answer Job's questions. But at the same time, He doesn't get angry with Job for talking to Him. He's angrier at Job's friends, who sit around blaming Job or pontificating about why this might happen.

I think God prefers that we have it out with Him than ignore Him... because at least if we have it out, like Jacob wrestling with the angel, sooner or later daybreak will come....

Hang in there.

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