Dr. Laura, Chiding The "Unpaid Whores" - U2 Feedback

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Old 09-14-2006, 11:54 AM   #1
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Dr. Laura, Chiding The "Unpaid Whores"

Wow, sounds like a great book. I feel like I'm in a massive time warp...I wonder what she says MEN should do for marriage and for their wives, and if she thinks any men act like "unpaid whores".

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

September 14, 2006 -- The hypocrisy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger knows no bounds. Despite the skeletons rattling in her own closet, the acerbic radio gabber slams today's women in a new book, claiming the typical American female is a slut. "Men see women as sex objects when women act like unpaid whores . . ."

Schlessinger writes in "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," due from HarperCollins in January: "Now it is difficult to find the male who values virginity, purity and innocence when females dress like babes and perform oral sex and intercourse without even having to be fed dinner . . . Who cares about vows - after all, why buy the cow when the milk is free."

Schlessinger's tirade may seem contradictory to some considering her own past behavior. In the mid 1970s, when she was in her early 20s, Schlessinger posed nude for a boyfriend, the late radio talk-show host Bill Ballance, who years later posted the full-frontal shots on the Internet. And soon after, she started seeing a married California doctor with three kids who subsequently left his wife for the homewrecker.

The therapist, now 59, also spanks wives who complain about their husbands being too horny, "as if being desired were some kind of intrusion or insult . . . Get over yourselves and get under your men (although most men enjoy their women on top, too)! If you don't, when the kids are up and out, he'll likely be with them."

She adds that one key to a good marriage is for couples to be kind to their own families. "It is amazing to me how many people treat absolute strangers with more courtesy, kindness and sensitivity than their own spouses and families," she complains. Yet for years, Schlessinger was estranged from her now-deceased mom and she remains estranged from her sister.

It's unlikely Schlessinger will be bothered by any criticism, as she's been in the frying pan plenty of times for past remarks. The gay community once ripped her for calling homosexuality a "biological error."
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:10 PM   #2
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so ... get married so you can have sex?

sounds like a great way to increase the divorce rate.
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:25 PM   #3
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This is what is posted on amazon.com about her last book, The Proper Care And Feeding of Husbands. If that's what marriage is, well I loathe that concept more than I ever did before..seems really f'ed up and unequal and Stepford to me.


From Publishers Weekly


In her newest book, Schlessinger (10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives) relies upon her experience in private practice, radio and letters she received from men and women in tackling the issue of women who mistreat their men and suffer the consequences of unhappiness. The women who criticize their husbands in the stories that Schlessinger relates are depressed in their marriages and feel little love from their husbands. Unabashedly asserting that man is a "very simple creature," who needs only "direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good loving'" to respond with devotion, compassion and love, this controversial marriage and family therapist claims that every woman can achieve a deeply satisfying marriage if she adheres to certain fundamentals men require. Preparing dinner, caring for the children without complaint, greeting her husband with a kiss and engaging in sexual intimacy instead of "tearing down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance" can result in the harmonious marriage women crave. While many of her listeners and readers claim her unequivocal advice has salvaged teetering marriages and improved marital harmony, others perceive Schlessinger as a throwback to what many see as years of female oppression in the home.
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:28 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
so ... get married so you can have sex?
Only if you're a woman. See if the wife doesn't get under the man, it's ok for him to get sex elsewhere. Because the man never has anything to do with why the wife doesn't want to get under or on top of him.
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:32 PM   #5
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For the record, she did write "10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" as well. According to Amazon.com, Chapter Six -- entitled "Stupid Matrimony" -- talks about how there's lots of good reasons to get married; "She's cute" isn't one of them. (Which seems to address Irvine's post about the sole reason to get married being to have sex.)
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:35 PM   #6
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How many of the 10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives have something to do with women? I for one am never going to follow any of her "advice". And it seems to me that men should be insulted by the way she portrays them too.

For a book on advice about marriage, I would recommend Dr. Robin Smith who appears on Oprah- her advice is applied to both men and women equally and rationally and for modern times. I haven't read it because I'm not married, but from what I have seen of her on Oprah I was impressed and her advice seemed very sound to me.
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:41 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by nathan1977
(Which seems to address Irvine's post about the sole reason to get married being to have sex.)


well, i was being facetious, since it's hard to take Dr. Laura seriously, but i wouldn't doubt at all that an emphasis on virginity as a virtue would lead to people getting married so that they can finally (!!!) getting to have sex. not the sole reason, but a good motivator.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:09 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511

i wouldn't doubt at all that an emphasis on virginity as a virtue would lead to people getting married so that they can finally (!!!) getting to have sex. not the sole reason, but a good motivator.
Careful with your stereotypes there, Irvine. I know a whole number of people who would take offense at your callous disregard for their values, and who take sex much more seriously than you think -- and who, for a variety of reasons, have decided to save it for marriage.

Virgins, contrary to popular belief, are not always repressed sexual horny-toads itchin' to get out of their pants.

EDIT - Sorry if this post comes off as snide. Given that in my spare time I do an awful lot of counseling of people with sexual brokenness, I get very annoyed at people on this board who too easily write off those who have made a genuine and sincere committment to waiting until marriage. Given the amount of emotional, psychic, spiritual and often physical damage that can happen when relationships get physical, I have nothing but respect for people who decide that they're going to control their passions, rather than simply grabbing the first person who shares corresponding sex parts.

I realize this has nothing to do with "Dr. Laura."
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:15 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by nathan1977


Careful with your stereotypes there, Irvine. I know a whole number of people who would take offense at your callous disregard for their values, and who take sex much more seriously than you think -- and who, for a variety of reasons, have decided to save it for marriage.

Virgins, contrary to popular belief, are not always repressed sexual horny-toads itchin' to get out of their pants.


hey, i go by what my rural southern boyfriend tells me. and likewise to the stereotype you've just put forward -- i'm sure we can find people who fall into both boxes (yet, as always, the boxes are incomplete).
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:16 PM   #10
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I completely respect anyone's decision to remain a virgin for whatever reason-it's personal business and a personal choice that I would never presume to have the right to comment on, let alone judge. What I have zero respect for is someone like Dr. Laura calling women unpaid whores presumably because they are not virgins and they behave like sluts in her opinion, or talking about men valuing virginity in women when she seemingly makes no mention of women valuing virginity (or fidelity or not being promiscuous and all that) in men.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:16 PM   #11
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Everytime I hear Dr. Laura speak I'm reminded a phrase I saw on a bumbersticker.
The bumbersticker said "People who have small minds have big mouths".
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:20 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
well, i was being facetious, since it's hard to take Dr. Laura seriously, but i wouldn't doubt at all that an emphasis on virginity as a virtue would lead to people getting married so that they can finally (!!!) getting to have sex. not the sole reason, but a good motivator.
Actually, in my experience, you are unfortunately more right than you may know. I grew up in a very conservative Christian environment where premarital sex was demonized and taught to be the worst of the worst things one could do. Sex education? You've got to be kidding...all we were told is that sex is sinful unless practiced within marriage. What happened to a lot of my friends? They got married at extremely young ages and are now stuck with 3+ kids (no sex ed meant no clue about birth control) or divorced because they were too immature to make a marriage work.

I remember one of my teachers totally shocking us by saying that in some ways, he'd almost rather you just get it (sex) over with and realize that it's not the end-all to be-all thing it is often hyped to be, and not mess up your life by getting into early marriages.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:23 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
What I have zero respect for is someone like Dr. Laura calling women unpaid whores presumably because they are not virgins and they behave like sluts in her opinion, or talking about men valuing virginity in women when she seemingly makes no mention of women valuing virginity (or fidelity or not being promiscuous and all that) in men.
Summing up women as "unpaid whores" is absolutely unfair, as there are a variety of complicated reasons why women get into sexual relationships, none of which -- from what little I know of Dr. Laura -- she seems to acknowledge. At the same time, the older I get the more I value modesty on both sides of the fence, and it seems -- based on our post-"Girls Gone Wild" culture -- that young women seem to be getting the message that the only way to get attention is to use their physical assets, while men seem to be getting the message that such assets are for exploitation only.

If men are interested in fidelity or virginity from women, they might be well-served by exercising those values themselves.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:28 PM   #14
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Originally posted by sulawesigirl4


Actually, in my experience, you are unfortunately more right than you may know. I grew up in a very conservative Christian environment where premarital sex was demonized and taught to be the worst of the worst things one could do. Sex education? You've got to be kidding...all we were told is that sex is sinful unless practiced within marriage. What happened to a lot of my friends? They got married at extremely young ages and are now stuck with 3+ kids (no sex ed meant no clue about birth control) or divorced because they were too immature to make a marriage work.
Since we're sharing anecdotal experience, my background is similar but my parents' approach was very different. My dad taught me that sex was something to be celebrated and embraced -- so good in fact that God designed specific boundaries around it so that it could be what it was meant to be, not what it wasn't. This was (and continues to be) fairly groundbreaking -- I'm sorry for everyone who got the standard "sex is evil and only to be used for childbearing" talk.

There is a way for Christians to teach values-based sexuality without demonizing it or putting the fear of God into people.

But this might be bringing the thread in a different direction.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:32 PM   #15
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Originally posted by nathan1977
At the same time, the older I get the more I value modesty on both sides of the fence, and it seems -- based on our post-"Girls Gone Wild" culture -- that young women seem to be getting the message that the only way to get attention is to use their physical assets, while men seem to be getting the message that such assets are for exploitation only.

If men are interested in fidelity or virginity from women, they might be well-served by exercising those values themselves.


we are in total agreement here.

"sexy" isn't at all sexy anymore. from a gay perspective, i see so many perfectly shaved chest, perfect polished pecs, and rippling abs in so many magazines (and abercrombie stores) that it's totally lost any sex appeal at all.

attack of the clones indeed.

(not that i wouldn't mind having such abs)
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