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Old 07-20-2002, 05:28 PM   #1
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Domestic Violence

I was just wondering what the laws are in your country or state and how is this matter handled there?
Are many perpetrators prosecuted? Or do they usually get away with it, maybe most victims dont report it and its not considered acceptable to talk about it?
Obviously, some cultures just tolerate it, even encourage it. The US used to turn a blind eye to it until just fairly recently. Theyre a bit better about it now, but the punishment is seldom tough enough.
Anyone willing to share any thoughts or experiences ?
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Old 07-20-2002, 08:13 PM   #2
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If you are convicted of domestic violence in California, you are required to enroll in a 12 month batter's program and usually a 10 hour anger management course. You are also required to pay a fine to the Victim/Witness Fund and sometimes to a woman's shelter. 3 years probation (conditional upon finishing your classes and paying your fines) is typical.

In my own experience (a female relative was convicted twice of abusing her boyfriend) the judges do not do enough to enforce the conditions of the abuser's probation. My relative has dropped out of her classes 3 times and refused to pay her fines. The judge always threatens to send her to jail for 9 months but never does. She has been re-arrested twice for violating her probation and has only served 2 weeks in custody, at an "honor farm."

There is a restraining order against her but she has been living with her "victim" the entire time...he even visted her in jail.
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Old 07-20-2002, 08:22 PM   #3
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Wow... Thats very interesting...

A relative of mine attacked my mom and I once, but I guess it wasnt severe enough, so all the cops apparently did was "talk" to him. Nothing was done to him, and he continued to stalk me, and even came into our house and verbally abused us a couple more times. He's never been punished, and still bothers us.

Also, i have a young friend who's step-father beats up his mother and verbally abuses the kids. His mom wont do anything about it though, continues to live with the guy and if someone calls the police, i guess she just denies everything. Its really having an affect on this kid, he's so angry all the time.
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"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...

^^ Life's a bitch, so i became one ^^
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Old 07-21-2002, 01:13 AM   #4
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i know someone who's father has been hitting her since she was young, but he has bipolar, so it's "ok".....yeah right. a year or so back he hit her and she left saying she'd never live with someone who abused her.....but then she got kicked out of her friends house and ended up living in her car during the winter without food or money.....so she moved back.....but not for long.....well, everything was "fine" until she had a baby.....then her parents took care of (let's call her mary) mary sometimes.....but then her dad got mad and swung at my friend and came inches from hitting mary.....then she exploded and left.......and the worst part is her dad thinks there's nothing wrong with this....the father of her baby hit her too...gave her an athsma attack so bad she came minutes from dying.....that's not cool.....did i mention that this is my best friend since i was 3 years old?......yeah.....i have an issue or two with domestic violence....
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Old 07-22-2002, 12:40 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Miss MacPhisto
Wow... Thats very interesting...

A relative of mine attacked my mom and I once, but I guess it wasnt severe enough, so all the cops apparently did was "talk" to him. Nothing was done to him, and he continued to stalk me, and even came into our house and verbally abused us a couple more times. He's never been punished, and still bothers us.

Also, i have a young friend who's step-father beats up his mother and verbally abuses the kids. His mom wont do anything about it though, continues to live with the guy and if someone calls the police, i guess she just denies everything. Its really having an affect on this kid, he's so angry all the time.
That doesn't surprise me at all. The laws in California changed after OJ Simpson but I think they are selectively enforced. I'm not going to excuse my relative's behavior but her boyfriend had given her a black eye in the same fight she was arrested for and he was treated like a poor victim and she was taken to jail. They both deserved to be arrested and he walked. Her big mistake was saying "I'll kill you" in front of the police and they also charged her making a terrorist threat.

Before these new laws took affect, most cops in California would just talk to the abuser and tell him to go for a walk and cool off for a while (I saw this happen my entire childhood). Most women refused to press charges so it just went away. Now, the victim doesn't have to press charges, a case is automatically filed. A small scratch or even a shove is supposed to be grounds for arrest but like I said, I think its enforced selectively.

As far as your situation goes, I don't know how long ago the incident with your relative happened but if he's still bothering you, keep track of the incidents and file a police report. I think stalking is taken a little more seriously these days, but you have to keep track of every incident. I did this when my relative's boyfriend refused to stop calling my house and sending me threatening emails. We had a trap put on our phone and filed a police report and they took it very seriously. One warning by the police was all it took to get him to leave me alone.
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Old 07-25-2002, 10:12 PM   #6
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Normal

My situation happened a couple years ago, and the thing is, there really isnt much I can do about him now cuz he isnt doing anything ( that I KNOW of) thats illegal.
All i know right now is that he is trying to find out where my mother is staying at the moment, and possibly my address too(though he wont be able to find out my home address very easily, as I'm kinda invisable right now). He's just trying to get all this info on us, and that is really getting to me. causing other problems with my rels as well, but that isnt illegal, i guess.
He was able to eavesdrop on our phone conversations before, so who knows...
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".....People of America - SHUSH-........."

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...

^^ Life's a bitch, so i became one ^^
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