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Old 12-14-2004, 10:36 PM   #1
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Divorce

Ok divorce has been mentioned in here in biblical context and I wanted to get people's opinion.

I was married for 2 years. I married a woman who by all means was an amazing and independent woman, but without getting into details she pretty much woke up one day and decided that marriage interfered with her being an independent woman. Now I'm not saying the problems we had were 100% her fault, but it was this belief and her not coming to terms that eventually ended the marriage. I set up meetings with counselors did the whole nine yards, it wasn't enough. Her own family saw her faults in this divorce. I couldn't force her to stay with me, I worshipped the ground she walked on, there was no infedilty, no abuse, no fundamental differences of belief, none of that. She "loved me but was no longer in love with me". We had a very amicable split.

I'm only 30, someday I want to remarry. Now because this wasn't because of infedility will I be an adulterer the rest of my life if I remarry?
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Old 12-14-2004, 10:46 PM   #2
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I too, am interested in the responses to this.
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Old 12-14-2004, 10:48 PM   #3
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You all might want to go talk to ministers instead of web forum members...

I personally see nothing wrong with it, but I have no real Biblical understanding of the situation at hand, so...
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Old 12-14-2004, 10:49 PM   #4
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Re: Divorce

Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar

I'm only 30, someday I want to remarry. Now because this wasn't because of infedility will I be an adulterer the rest of my life if I remarry?
You have to be kidding! You're divorced. If you aren't married, how can you commit adultery?


* Of course, I'm agnostic so I don't give a rats ass what the Bible says about the subject... ...of course, if you're an adulterer if you remarry, you would also be an adulterer if you don't remarry (well, if you have sex...). Sorry, man, looks like your screwed...and not in the good way.
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Old 12-14-2004, 10:55 PM   #5
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sorry about your divorce

all you can do
is your best
and then let go

the adultry question seems silly to me

is this because of your chosen religion?
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Old 12-14-2004, 11:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep
sorry about your divorce

all you can do
is your best
and then let go

the adultry question seems silly to me

is this because of your chosen religion?
Quote:
You have to be kidding! You're divorced. If you aren't married, how can you commit adultery?
This is more of a philosophical question. In this day and age I have still found that divorce has a stigma. The bible says "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:32)."

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:9)."

Technically we divorced each other.
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Old 12-14-2004, 11:31 PM   #7
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There sure is a stigma. When people start reassuringly quoting statistics and telling you you are not alone, in a bid to make you feel a bit better, its obvious that society as a whole still isn't comfortable with such a serious committment coming to an end, and more often when it's 'amicable'.
Amicable is a very strange word for any divorce I think.
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Old 12-14-2004, 11:34 PM   #8
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"anyone who divorces his wife"

are you sure this applies to you.
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:13 AM   #9
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Hi there, sorry to hear about the divorce. Well at least you found out before you went on with even more years and children to go with it. You are so young hun, I was brought up in a jewish family that had christmas trees every year. Everybody has their own belief in religion and God. If I were you I would be thanking God to know the truth than later on in life. You have so many more years in your life, you have only begun your life. If you are divorced than I would think it is ok to date and that you are not committing adultry. I have done alot of sinful things in my life and now that i have a deeper connection with God, he has forgiven me. It is only because of myself that I have to forgive. When I come to terms to accept the bad things that I have done to myself and others that I will be set free. I feel that is the answer for me. God loves me and has always been there. It was I who wasn't ready to accept him into my heart. I am not religious but very spiritual. This iis your life so I know it has to be your choices that you make in life. Please don't be hard on yourself. God bless
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:23 AM   #10
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I don't think you are committing adultery.

I believe that God would rather see you happy, and your future children raised with 2 loving parents, than trapped in a lie.
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:23 AM   #11
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You are good in my book!!!!!
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:24 AM   #12
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Sorry but to me she seems like someone who should have never been married anyway. I hope you find yourself some true love one day, marry her and live happily to old age together.
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:45 AM   #13
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I am going through divorce myself BonoVoxSupastar, and do not believe that picking up the pieces and moving on is committing adultery.

I also believe that the person that wants the divorce and eventually finds another partner is not committing adultery either. In a case where there is no abuse involved, I do think that the one that wanted to move on should be very careful to commit themselves so much again. It seems that once you break a committment it is easy to continue the pattern. I am my ex-in-process's second marriage.
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:54 AM   #14
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I don't see anything "wrong" w/ asking this question in an internet forum, or "silly" about this question-I happen to think it's rather brave to share something like this, and I'd rather read this than most of what's on this forum

Anyway, whatever the Bible says (and I hope this won't turn into some "Bible bashing" thread), I truly believe God knows what is in your heart and why things happened the way they did. Truly sinning in a marriage is an entirely different story. I know people who are really sinning in marriages and in the choices they make re marriage, remarrying, etc, and it's nothing like your situation at all.
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:57 AM   #15
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"Now because this wasn't because of infedility will I be an adulterer the rest of my life if I remarry?"

- would you mind rephrasing the question or making yourself more clear?

be glad you weren't married for 10 years or longer..then you'd be REALLY confused.
( welp...on second thought maybe not)

how do you feel about all this now ..after youve seen counselors and stuff?
I feel like you must still be very sad about it.

what boston anne said was right on that the one making the break , that pattern will continue in thier lives -

you dont have to own the same feelings as your soon to be x spouse does.
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