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Old 12-15-2004, 05:05 AM   #16
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Bloody hell, why are you all so hard on yourselves?

And each other?

And everything?

I fundamentally dont "get" Christianity.
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Old 12-15-2004, 05:05 AM   #17
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I would continue to get counseling, too, if I were you--maybe even consult a member of the clergy you trust to get some professional feedback. You may still need some time to heal from this.

That said, no, I don't think you'd be an adulterer if you got remarried. Give yourself a chance to really think things through and put yourself together, and when you find a woman who really digs all your great qualities, go for it--guilt-free.
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Old 12-15-2004, 05:45 AM   #18
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i like the fact that in this morally corrupt world, you live with your MORALS...
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Old 12-15-2004, 06:07 AM   #19
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I have two divorced siblings. In both cases, they really needed to get those divorces because their marriages were not working. My brother is now happily remarried and my divorced sister has a wonderful boyfriend. When a marriage isn't working there's no sense in staying in it, and if you develop another great relationship, go ahead, if you want marriage then do it. You've got to make yourself happy.
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Old 12-15-2004, 06:23 AM   #20
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It's a thorny question and not one that can't be resolved by a simple "quoting" of a few verses, I think. One has to see the larger picture, the social context of when the Bible was written for starters. A book that I read a long time ago that I think you would find really helpful is "And Marries Another: Divorce and Remarriage in the Teaching of the New Testament"

In any case, God loves you as his child and understands the circumstances that have brought you to where you are. Of that much, I am certain.
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Old 12-15-2004, 08:02 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by carrieluvv
what boston anne said was right on that the one making the break , that pattern will continue in thier lives -
Actually, what I was trying to say was that the pattern COULD continue, so think things through. I don't believe it is a pattern that will definately continue.
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Old 12-15-2004, 08:07 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by verte76
When a marriage isn't working there's no sense in staying in it, and if you develop another great relationship, go ahead, if you want marriage then do it. You've got to make yourself happy.
I agree with this to a point. I believe that the 2 people that married should be committed enough to try and work things through. If marriage is based on committment and both partners believe in that committment - I think they tend to work harder to get to a happier place. Marriage is a lot of work and includes sacrifice at times. I also believe that if BOTH partners work hard to have a succesful marriage, the chances are great that they can get through anything together.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:18 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by BostonAnne


Actually, what I was trying to say was that the pattern COULD continue, so think things through. I don't believe it is a pattern that will definately continue.
I would love to know the complete context of the biblical quote that Jesus made. What was the time like? Were people jumping from one person to another for frivolous reasons?

I have not been shy about sharing this, my parents combined have been married 10 times.

Think about that....

I am not figuring in the three of the guys my mother married because these three marriages have happened since 1987. I was an adult then, and I have had nothing to do with them since her divorces.

I would say that God knows your heart, and knows if you are abusing the institution.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:28 AM   #24
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I have a cousin on her 5th husband. Yes, fifth. She's tired of marrying for looks and love, this time she married a fat old rich man. Maybe this time it will last I don't mean to knock her, she's a darling, really. I don't know why all her husbands beat her up. She's pretty and has a hilarious sense of humor and fun personality.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:35 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem

Amicable is a very strange word for any divorce I think.
Yeah maybe it's a strange description, but it's better than us hating each other and one person trying to take more than they deserve or sprading hateful things about each other.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:37 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox

I would say that God knows your heart, and knows if you are abusing the institution.
Makes sense to me.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:44 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by AcrobatMan
"anyone who divorces his wife"

are you sure this applies to you.
I think this was the part that haunted me for a long while. Here I stood before so many friends, family and God and made a promise till death do us part. This is something I never took lightly. So the fact that I was agreeing to break this really bothered me. I didn't think I was going to burn for eternity or anything like that, but it really did bother me.

But then after time I realized that it takes two people to work a relationship and you can't force the other to work on it. As simple as it sounds that took awhile to come to grips with.

So getting back to this piece of scripture, is it aimed at those that are, as Dread says, abusing the system? Is it aimed just at those that are initiating the divorce without reason?
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:46 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2Kitten
Sorry but to me she seems like someone who should have never been married anyway. I hope you find yourself some true love one day, marry her and live happily to old age together.
Unfortunately this is the conclusion I've come to, I with she was more honest with herself and me, and neither of us would have to had gone through this.

Good old hindsight.

Thanks.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:47 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by BostonAnne
I am going through divorce myself BonoVoxSupastar, and do not believe that picking up the pieces and moving on is committing adultery.

I'm sorry and wish you the best.
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Old 12-15-2004, 09:49 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by carrieluvv

- would you mind rephrasing the question or making yourself more clear?

Is it still not clear in context with the Bible quote?
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