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Old 02-12-2002, 09:35 PM   #1
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Deep From Within The Bowels Of Compassionate-Conservitism, I Hereby Offer

Helpful Tips For Our Polictally Challenged Friends -The Democrats and Other Bedwetting Liberals.

(Thread NOT to be taken seriously)

Thats right folks Iam here to offer a few pointers to the people who 'lean' to the left or are considering becoming a full flege Democrat.

Virtually anyone can become a Democrat.Just quit thinking;and then, vote that way.

BUT if you want to become a GOOD Democrat there are some prerequisites you must first satisfy.
Consider the items that follow and see how you rate-

-You have to:
believe the AIDS virus is SPREAD by a lack of funding.

-You have to:
believe the same teacher who cant teach 4th graders how to READ is somehow qualified to to teach those same kids about sex.

-You have to:
believe that guns, in the hands of law abiding Americans are MORE of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese Communists.

-You have to:
believe there was NO ART before federal funding.

-You have to:
believe gender roles are artificial; but being homosexual is natural.

-You have to:
be against capital punishment but support abortion on DEMAND at ANY time during a pregnancy.

-You have to:
believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity and jobs.

-You have to:
believe that self esteem is more important than doing something about it.

-You have to:
believe the military, not corrupt polictians create war.

-You have to:
believe that taxes are TOO low and ATM fees are too high.

-You have to:
believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinham are much more important to Am. History than Thomas Jefferson, Gen Robert E Lee or Thomas Edison.

-You have to:
believe that standardize tests are racist but racial quotas and set asides are not.

-You have to:
believe after 40 yrs of trying, the ONLY reason socialism hasnt worked ANYWHERE its been tried, is because the 'right' ppl havnt been in charge; and big government knows better than you and I.

-You have to:
believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar,perjurer,sex offender and draft dodger belongs in the White House.

You have to:
believe that manger scenes and Christmas scenes should be illegal.

You have to:
believe that illegal Democratic party
funding by the Chinese is SOMEHOW in the best interest of our country.

You have to:
believe that countries who sponser terrorists ARE NOT part of the 'Axis of Evil' described by Pres. Bush recently..

Hope this helps-
Love -
Diamond
hoo
hah

------------------
"...The big guy is made of STEEL." - Bono as we stood together on stage at Boston #4, June 9th, 2001.

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-curious? click
links for
Bono/Dimon-
Bos.4 Story
Pics..

http://www.arizonaautoweb.com/bono/

http://members.aol.com/diamondbruno9/



[This message has been edited by Diamond The U2 Patriot (edited 02-12-2002).]
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Old 02-12-2002, 11:11 PM   #2
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Hoo-HaH

LOL

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"when hippos drove the big cars"

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>

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gottaGO
gottaGO
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Old 02-12-2002, 11:15 PM   #3
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Thank You Z Edge.
I cant believe I mis-spelled conservatism.
Duh.

db9

------------------
"...The big guy is made of STEEL." - Bono as we stood together on stage at Boston #4, June 9th, 2001.

---
-curious? click
links for
Bono/Dimon-
Bos.4 Story
Pics..

http://www.arizonaautoweb.com/bono/

http://members.aol.com/diamondbruno9/
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Old 02-12-2002, 11:26 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diamond The U2 Patriot:

-You have to:
believe that self esteem is more important than doing something about it.

Maybe this has been my problem! YIKES!!! Think I've been a closet democrate all these years! I think there's an operation now that can change me. Maybe I can get the government to pay for it!



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"See, the rock star gets his way! Thank you very much. This feels very Elvis. Thank you."

Bono ~ Houston, Texas 4-02-01
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Old 02-13-2002, 09:30 AM   #5
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Your welcome DB69, HooH-HaH

LikeO2,
You should have something done to reverse the brainwashing
LoL
Then we could have 'GOP-controlled Like O2'

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Old 02-13-2002, 12:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
believe after 40 yrs of trying, the ONLY reason socialism hasnt worked ANYWHERE its been tried, is because the 'right' ppl havnt been in charge; and big government knows better than you and I.
Do you mean communism?
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Old 02-13-2002, 01:39 PM   #7
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LMAO! Thanks.
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Old 02-13-2002, 01:52 PM   #8
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Thank You Mr Pease.

Db9
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Old 02-13-2002, 02:37 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diamond The U2 Patriot:
-You have to:
believe gender roles are artificial; but being homosexual is natural.
so, why should I be laughing at this one?

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Old 02-13-2002, 05:24 PM   #10
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By the spelling I'm guessing that you didn't write the main part of this. Which is just as well, because it wasn't particularly funny or interesting. And the sentence that Salome picked up on wasn't the only thing that said more about the author than about Democrats.
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Old 02-13-2002, 05:32 PM   #11
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Hmm...Salome and I share the same bemusement.



As a self-professed liberal, I disagree with 13/17 in the list you posted. Watch out...I'll be creating my own list soon....

Melon

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"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

[This message has been edited by melon (edited 02-13-2002).]
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Old 02-13-2002, 05:50 PM   #12
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Klodo
Salome
Melon-

Let me REPEAT-
"This THREAD NOT to be taken seriously"

hoo
hah

Diamond


PS- Now Melon put up your silly 'retort' of a thread.
Thank You-
db9
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Old 02-13-2002, 06:06 PM   #13
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[come to think of it, this will only stir up trouble]

[This message has been edited by Klodomir (edited 02-13-2002).]
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Old 02-13-2002, 06:48 PM   #14
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I just want to post the words of another FYM member.. in response to a nonserious thread created a week ago after it was not taken as a joke..

This thread in reference.. is almost a mirror image of sorts of the one Diamond put up in this Thread.. I'm sure you all know which one I'm talking about... But here are the words of one Melon posted about a week ago used to respond to what Melon has posted here today in this thread.

Quote by Melon:
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Well, I certainly see no one knows how to take a joke.
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Maybe he should change his word to 'amusement' a few lines up, Because we all know those liberals.. THey want everything equal.. No one can have anything more than the next.. A laugh here, well.. there's got to be a laugh there.. Mirror that Chuckle from your Thread a week ago my friend.

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Old 02-13-2002, 07:11 PM   #15
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Ah, Lemonite...it appears nothing has changed. You still can't take a joke, unless it is your own, which no one laughs at anyway. I guess that, unless I revert to the immature surrealism of Tom Green or the slapstick comedy of the average American sitcom, no one can tell it. Doesn't a usually do the trick in this forum, though?

Lighten up.

Melon

------------------
"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
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