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Old 01-08-2002, 06:31 PM   #1
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I have been rather quiet recently because my partner has been incredibly ill, but it wasn't until two days ago that she passed away.

Naturally, anyone who has ever lost anyone close to him or her will have asked certain questions about life, death, and the meaning to it all, if there is any.

I'd like to know what thoughts you have on death. Is it fair? Should one be afraid of it? Does a person have a choice? What do you do when someone close to you dies? Is it wrong of you to blame or hate God, or whomever it was responsible for the death?

Death; what's it all about?


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Old 01-08-2002, 06:40 PM   #2
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I don't know you very well, but I'm so so sorry for the death of your partner. What sad news to see or hear about anywhere, when someone you love is taken away.

I don't have the answers (who does really?) and I feel awkward even trying to pose my thoughts or opinions in your thread. I don't know why...

God bless and keep your chin up in these times. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but know that there's people that are going to be keeping you in their thoughts tonight.


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Old 01-08-2002, 06:41 PM   #3
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I just wanted to express my deepest sympathies. I feel totally inadequate to try and throw some sort of literary remedy your way but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am.
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Old 01-08-2002, 07:15 PM   #4
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Anthony, you have my deepest sympathies. I cannot even fathom what you must be going through, but, in time, I hope things get better.

On death, perhaps it was my fairly stoic upbringing, but I do not see it in an incredibly morbid manner. Death is the natural cycle of life; of birth to death. It is something, perhaps regrettably but still reality, that we will all know one day or another. The variables, of course, are when and how.

Why death and not immediate eternal life? I will not be so idiotic to bring up something like original sin, whereas "death" is a punishment for something the first humans did thousands upon thousands of years ago that we must be punished for. On the contrary, the question must be asked if "death" is a punishment whatsoever. But to answer the meaning of "death" inevitably cannot be answered until the meaning of "life."

And what is life? Is it a not-so-simple combination of chemicals and electric pulses or a temporary residence for a divine soul? My own beliefs and my own experiences make me believe in the latter, and, as such, I don't blame or hate God for death. Inasmuch as I've studied science and genetics, in fact, I've learned how fragile the human condition truly is. How one gene can mean the difference between "normal" and cancerous. How chaotic going from a sperm and an egg to a human really is. How, in early stages of fetal growth, we are nearly identical to several different species of mammals looks-wise. And all I really thought, after seeing all this, was how improbable life really seems to be at times. And just how lucky I feel to have known it.

Death, in too many ways, seems to be that anticlimactic ending to the plans we had set. But, like much anything else, it is inevitable. Like life, death is a lesson in itself. Without knowing sadness, could one identify happiness? Could this, perhaps, be a lesson you must learn yourself? And it is a question that few of us can answer; a question that cannot really be answered without learning the meaning of "life" itself.

Anyway, I really hope that you don't take any of this as "insensitive." I just wrote this, perhaps, because you have reminded me a lot of myself at times, and I know that, in the most oddest of ways, a message like this would comfort me. If I am wrong and have made things worse, then I apologize and please disregard all I have written.

Take care...


"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
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Old 01-08-2002, 08:56 PM   #5
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I think Melon hit a lot of things right on the head. I found myself agreeing (I know that's weird). Anyways, I lost my son, my father, my brother, 2 grandfathers and a grandmother to death. While I didn't blame God, I certainly questioned him after a few of these.
I hate death, and I hate change. The two really go heand in hand, don't they?
But I believe in an afterlife with my Lord Jesus Christ. That is a great hope, indeed.
Peace be upon you, and may the God of Comfort do so in this time.
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Old 01-08-2002, 09:21 PM   #6
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My sympathies are with you as well, Anthony. We are all here if you need anyone to talk to.

Regarding my views on death: pretty much what melon & 80sU2IsBest said.

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Old 01-08-2002, 09:24 PM   #7
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Anthony I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain you are going through. My hear aches for you. It will be 3 years this February that I lost my father, and I am still grieving for him. All those questions you asked are normal, and that is all part of grief. In helping me to understand the whole grief process, I saw a grief counselor who was a big help to me in understanding my feelings. I know that you hurt like hell now, but please take care of yourself. It will get better with time. And remember that is no set time with grief.
From one who has been there.
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Old 01-08-2002, 10:11 PM   #8
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Anthony, My deepest condolences and sympathies. I know it is from a person you have never met, nor will probably ever be in contact with, but I do want to tell you that you are in my prayers.

Ah yes... Death, the only thing that an arrogant man fears, Seriously though, I find it also (like melon) to be a hugely anticlimactic event mostly because we're never sure what is coming next. Melon If I remember you're catholic , and it's soo weird, because Here we are sitting, enjoying life, but living our life for death, and it's the biggest leap of faith. I mean, I believe, but sometimes when you step back and look at it from a non religion point of view.. say from that of an insect.. You live, you die, and you become the ground/soil.. It's quite a cunundrum.. if tha'ts spelled right, And You know, i guess it's at that moment, that I realize, It's supposed to be a huuuge mystery, a Huge unknown, because what have you.. IT's Faith.. The name of a bodacious.. yes i jsut wrote bodacious .. country music singer, an out of date one hit wonder metal group.. No More that is, and oh yeah.. The newest scent from Bath and Body Works.

Prayers and Thoughts,

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Old 01-08-2002, 11:04 PM   #9
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I won't try to address this subject.

Peace be with you all.
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Old 01-08-2002, 11:14 PM   #10
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Death is an adventure that I am looking forward to most of the time. I'm sorry to hear about your losing your partner. It must hurt a whole lot... Please take care.

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Old 01-08-2002, 11:23 PM   #11
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I just lost my grandmother this weekend...although it's not exactly what you're going through, I feel your pain. The thing that helps me get through is knowing that she has merely shed her earthly skin and gone on to something greater. She will forever be my grandmother...whether or not she animates her body or is celebrating in Kingdom Come. She will always live on..just as your partner shall...not matter what state...

Rock 'N Roll is the sound of revenge.
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Old 01-09-2002, 01:49 AM   #12
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Anthony. I have nothing profound to say, but I'm thinking of you.
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Old 01-09-2002, 09:06 AM   #13
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An -
My condolences. Like others on the Interference, I too have lost many close relations to death. And for the most part, we may have questioned our faith in God, but realized that death is just part of life.

Find some support amongst others around you, and (although I hate this), keep your head up.
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Old 01-09-2002, 09:23 AM   #14
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Oh my goodness Anthony Im so sorry to hear!!!!!!

My sincere sincere condolences to u........

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Old 01-09-2002, 10:23 AM   #15
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Anthony. I don't feel like there is anything I could possibly say that would be appropriate.

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