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Old 11-29-2004, 01:57 AM   #1
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Dear President Bush (satire)

** I did not write this, I saw it on another site **

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.

As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? (I'm pretty sure she's a virgin).

3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord- Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? How can I help you here?

5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination- Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, steadfastly choosing to read the bible over newspapers, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:14 AM   #2
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The laws listed in the verses above were ceremonial laws specifically for the Jews. Christ fulfilled those laws with his death and therefore they no longer apply to Jews or Gentiles. Paul and other New Testament writers clearly state that the ceremonial laws are no longer in effect.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:30 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaxFisher
The laws listed in the verses above were ceremonial laws specifically for the Jews. Christ fulfilled those laws with his death and therefore they no longer apply to Jews or Gentiles. Paul and other New Testament writers clearly state that the ceremonial laws are no longer in effect.
What about the homo laws? Are they still in "effect"?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:43 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaxFisher
The laws listed in the verses above were ceremonial laws specifically for the Jews. Christ fulfilled those laws with his death and therefore they no longer apply to Jews or Gentiles. Paul and other New Testament writers clearly state that the ceremonial laws are no longer in effect.


But a good laugh nonetheless!
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:55 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaxFisher
The laws listed in the verses above were ceremonial laws specifically for the Jews. Christ fulfilled those laws with his death and therefore they no longer apply to Jews or Gentiles. Paul and other New Testament writers clearly state that the ceremonial laws are no longer in effect.
I agree for the most part. These laws showed the consequences of our sins, and the message is that the wages of sin is death. Many Christians and atheists alike do not understand what scripture really means. I don't always understand scripture myself, but I try to get a round of different perspectives anyways.
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Old 11-29-2004, 01:39 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by tackleberry


What about the homo laws? Are they still in "effect"?

the word "abomination" is still tossed around freely, so i think those looking to justify their agenda have seen fit to judiciously pick and choose what they need.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:22 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaxFisher
The laws listed in the verses above were ceremonial laws specifically for the Jews. Christ fulfilled those laws with his death and therefore they no longer apply to Jews or Gentiles. Paul and other New Testament writers clearly state that the ceremonial laws are no longer in effect.
If I'm not mistaken, I heard that Paul did speak out against homosexuality.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:35 PM   #8
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Originally posted by Macfistowannabe
If I'm not mistaken, I heard that Paul did speak out against homosexuality.
Yes he wrote a letter, it addressed some sexual immorality and it included homosexuality. Paul was the only one, beside Leviticus which obviously has been discredited in modern day society by most theologians. I would have taken it seriously if there were consistant remarks in other scripture and by Jesus himself. There is human "law" written into the Bible, this I believe is one of those instances.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:39 PM   #9
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Then again, you never know. Maybe Jesus had things to say about it that weren't scribed into it. Nobody knows EVERYTHING Jesus preached unfortunately. Some feel that it's safe to assume it being a sin. However, I can easily see how lust can be an equal or greater sin. Same thing with any other sexual sin.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:42 PM   #10
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Originally posted by Macfistowannabe
Then again, you never know. Maybe Jesus had things to say about it that weren't scribed into it. Nobody knows EVERYTHING Jesus preached unfortunately. Some feel that it's safe to assume it being a sin. However, I can easily see how lust can be an equal or greater sin. Same thing with any other sexual sin.
If it was important, it would have been repeated and hence recorded. It's not like there are sins that we won't know about because they weren't scribed.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:49 PM   #11
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I don't know about that. I see addiction as a sin.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:52 PM   #12
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I don't know about that. I see addiction as a sin.
And that's addressed in the Bible.
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Old 11-29-2004, 09:46 PM   #13
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Actually, this was just posted pretty recently, so I'm going to close this thread.
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