Dating.a.morman.... - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 07-23-2002, 10:02 PM   #1
Acrobat
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 428
Local Time: 06:47 AM
Dating.a.morman....

There.is.a.girl.that.i.have.been.talking.with.the.last.couple.of.
weeks....she.seems.so.cool,so.pretty,and.so.nice....however,i.just.found.out.that.she.is.from.salt.lake.city.and.a.devout.mormon.who.just.graduated.from.BYU....I.am.a.non.practicing.catholic.....I.am.
going.to.ask.her.out....and.i.am.sure.she.will.say.yes..BUT...what.
can.Iexpect.from.dating.a.morman...???

I.apologize.for.the.periods....my.space.bar.is.broken.....
__________________

__________________
Hitman is offline  
Old 07-23-2002, 10:53 PM   #2
Banned
 
Miss MacPhisto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Planet Pleba
Posts: 1,957
Local Time: 10:47 PM
*Snickers* at spacebar problem!

Well, my friend is a mormon, moved to Salt lake city from Brazil...
You have to be a member to visit their temples, that could be a problem in a relationship...Not sure what else to tell ya.
__________________

__________________
".....People of America - SHUSH-........."

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...

^^ Life's a bitch, so i became one ^^
Miss MacPhisto is offline  
Old 07-23-2002, 11:07 PM   #3
The Fly
 
babble's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Lynn Haven, FL
Posts: 145
Local Time: 12:47 AM
Well, actually I am a Mormon and a female, so I might be qualified to answer this one. Is there anything in particular you'd like to know?

You might want to check out http://www.mormon.org if you want to know about our beliefs but of course I'd be happy to answer any questions you have.
__________________
babble is offline  
Old 07-24-2002, 10:00 PM   #4
Acrobat
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 428
Local Time: 06:47 AM
OK,then.I.have.a.couple.of.questions.for.you...and.I.know.
everyone.is.different.and.you.can't."generalize"an.entire.relgioun,

but.in.general....


1.I.know.mormons.dont.drink,will.she.feel.weird.if.I.have.a.beer.or.a.glass.of.wine.with.dinner?

2.Will.her.family.be.accepting.of.her.dating.a.non.mormon?

3.Should.I.even.try.to.kiss.her.on.the.first.date,or.is.that.frowned.upon?


thanks.for.any.advice....
__________________
Hitman is offline  
Old 07-25-2002, 03:34 AM   #5
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Rono's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: the Netherlands
Posts: 6,163
Local Time: 07:47 AM
Why don`t you ask her ? I think she would have a load of respect for a honest and sincere man.
__________________
Rono is offline  
Old 07-25-2002, 11:33 AM   #6
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tempe, Az USA
Posts: 12,856
Local Time: 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rono
Why don`t you ask her ? I think she would have a load of respect for a honest and sincere man.
Good post Rono.
Umm.
I was raised in and around this religion

First off-
Take it slow. A kiss on the cheek is the norm for Mormon girls on a first date. However I met a few wild ones
Expect a peck on the cheek and for her to smile at you.

2nd-
Mormons are not judgemental. If you develop a special relationship w her they she will prolly present her beliefs for a discussion w you, at the appropiate time. She will want to know what you think

3rd-
If you have a glass of wine w your meal..I dont think it would spoil the evening. She wouldnt/shouldnt take offense..if she does end the date quickly.. Intolerence is not taught in her religion.


Good luck-
Diamond

__________________
diamond is offline  
Old 07-26-2002, 01:44 PM   #7
War Child
 
Peaseblossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Laker Country
Posts: 576
Local Time: 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hitman
OK,then.I.have.a.couple.of.questions.for.you...and.I.know.
everyone.is.different.and.you.can't."generalize"an.entire.relgioun,

but.in.general....


1.I.know.mormons.dont.drink,will.she.feel.weird.if.I.have.a.beer.or.a.glass.of.wine.with.dinner?

2.Will.her.family.be.accepting.of.her.dating.a.non.mormon?

3.Should.I.even.try.to.kiss.her.on.the.first.date,or.is.that.frowned.upon?


thanks.for.any.advice....
Hey there! I don't want to be negative, but I had a lot of close mormon friends in high school, and dated a mormon guy for a while, and it wasn't the best experience for me.

For the most part, I was completely accepted into their family (this was, of course, before I turned 21). My friends weren't afraid to say it if they thought what I was wearing wasn't modest enough. I got lots of looks if I mentioned a behavior that they didn't think was proper. Mostly, I felt a lot of pressure to join their religion, which I had a problem with. It seemed as if my friends truly believed I was damned and wouldn't accept that I dind't believe what they did. That's pretty much what ended my relationship with that family. I still adore my mormon friends, but had to distance myself because I didn't want to join the church. If this is just casual, you should be fine, but if you're looking for something more serious, you shold have a long chat sometime early on. Hope that helps. I'm really not trying to be negative...
__________________
Peaseblossom is offline  
Old 07-29-2002, 02:15 PM   #8
Babyface
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Total perspective vortex
Posts: 6
Local Time: 12:47 AM

Drinking:

Mormons aren't supposed to drink alcohol, because the Word of Wisdom prohibits it. They also aren't supposed to drink coffee or tea because it prohibits hot beverages, too, but they don't panic when they see people drinking coffee.

Mormons, like people in any other religion, vary greatly in their adherence to the doctrine put forth by the church--partly because nobody is perfect, and partly because some people only view the doctrine as a set of guidelines, and they make their own decisions about how to live. It is remotely possible that she will feel very anxious and upset if she sees you drinking. (My best friend in high school burst into tears once when a friend of her dad's drank a beer in front of her.) Then again, maybe she's devout in the daytime, but a hellraiser after dark and will drink you under the table.

Family acceptance:

Some Mormons frown upon their children dating non-members. Others don't really care, especially if they see the relationship as simply casual dating. Proposing to this girl would be another issue entirely, but you're not ready for that just yet, right? I don't know how old the two of you are, but "devout" Mormon families don't usually let their young daughters go on dates unless it's in a big group. The cut-off age for that is offically 18, but if the girl still lives at home, her parents may still be nervous about one-on-one dating, especially when the guy is a non-member.

But as with any situation, there isn't one rule of thumb that automatically applies to every Mormon family. I know families who are extremely strict until their daughters leave home. I also know some who give the girls free rein because they trust them to make the right decision in any situation. Some hearily disapprove of letting their kids date non-members, because they feel that they might be a bad influence, and some don't mind at all because they think associating with people who have different beliefs is not only not bad, but important because it will make the kids have a deeper appreciation for the things they've been taught.

You could get in really good if you go to church with her sometimes. Even if you don't believe a single damn thing they teach, you will at least learn a lot about what she believes.

Kissing on the first date:

It's age-dependent, but I don't think this would be a problem, unless by "kissing" you mean you plan to swab her tonsils and grope her. Keep it short and sweet and polite.

Let us know how it turns out!

Incidentally, in response to diamond:

While not all Mormons are judgmental, a few of them make up for it by being more than judgmental enough for everyone else.
__________________
shriek is offline  
Old 07-29-2002, 03:08 PM   #9
New Yorker
 
sharky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,637
Local Time: 01:47 AM
oh geez.....imagine my surprise when I opened this thread about mormons and realized I was an idiot and misread the title as "Dating a Moron". I'm an expert on that.

As for Mormons, I'm not one and I haven't dated one so can't help you there. If you don't have a problem with dating someone with a different religion, I think its fine. I've had some very interesting conversations about faith and religion with guys I've dated who are a different religion than I am. If anything, a conversation like that could easily lead to an interesting discussion where the two of you can better understand where each of you is coming from.
__________________
sharky is offline  
Old 08-07-2002, 10:11 PM   #10
Acrobat
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 428
Local Time: 06:47 AM
Well, I had one date with the Mormon girl. When I asked her out, I asked her what kind of food she liked and she said “anything....mexican...anything...” so I found a nice mexican restaurant and made a reservation for Saturday night. I picked her up at her house, we drove over and sat down to a great meal. We talked for the whole time, it was a great date...she commented how she was having a great time. We laughed and talked and even though she is a mormon from utah and I am a “catholic” from New York, we have a lot in common as far as perspectives on life. When I drove her home to her parents condo (she is 25 but just moved her from Utah and living with her parents while she gets her masters in education) she asked me if I wanted to come upstairs to meet her parents. I really liked her, so I went up. Her parents werent home but her sister was and I hung out in the house for about 10 minutes and then said I should be going and got up. She insisted that she walk me downstairs, and when we got down there I told her I had a really great time and she said she did too, and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I gave her a call on Monday, her phone was off but I left a message saying i wanted to wish her luck on an exam she was taking the next day. Well, now it is Wednesday and I still havent heard from her....so I’m not sure what to think. She is a pretty devout mormon (her father used to work for the church, she went to BYU and on a mormon “mission”, so maybe she doesn’t want to date me because I am not mormon. Also, she is 25, and from what I have read in the last few days that is an old age for a mormon not to be married.....
Or maybe she doesnt like me!!!! (not very likely But we really did have a great time, and she seemed to like me while we were out.......oh, the joys of dating....I guess in the back of my mind and heart I know it would be hard to make it work with a mormon, but she was such a cool, interesting and amazing girl....so so different from the women I meet on the NY/NJ bar scene....
I am thinking of calling her again tomorrow (Thursday) but I havent made up my mind yet....

Anyway, I’d appreciate opinions from mormons, mormon experts and non-mormon experts on this situation.....
__________________
Hitman is offline  
Old 08-07-2002, 10:30 PM   #11
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
U2Bama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Gulf Coast State of Mine
Posts: 3,405
Local Time: 12:47 AM

I don't think it would hurt for you to call her tomorrow.

But the great thing is that you got your space bar fixed.
__________________
U2Bama is offline  
Old 08-08-2002, 12:57 AM   #12
She's the One
 
martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Orange County and all over the goddamn place
Posts: 42,332
Local Time: 10:47 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by U2Bama
I don't think it would hurt for you to call her tomorrow.

But the great thing is that you got your space bar fixed.
Ditto.
__________________
martha is offline  
Old 08-16-2002, 06:01 PM   #13
War Child
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 965
Local Time: 06:47 AM
Hitman,

As a practicing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints ("Mormons") I might be able to give you a bit of insight. However, keep in mind that this is just one person's opinion. There are as many different "kinds" of Mormons as there are different kinds of members of any faith!

It sounds like you have a good thing going. It also sounds like your date is a pretty devout member of the Mormon church. I'd just suggest that you be yourself, and let her be herself. During high school I got involved in a relationship with an Episcopalian girl and the best thing about it was that we felt comfortable enough around each other that we could be ourselves.

I'd suggest that you just be open and honest with her. Don't be afraid to ask questions about the Mormon church if you have any. There are so many misunderstandings about the Mormon church that a lot of the members are just looking for opportunities to answer questions and clear up some of the rumors if nothing else! (If you can believe it, I've been told by people outside of my faith that I can't drink milk, snowboard, wear zippers, or even eat chocolate! If even ONE of these things were true I probably would have gone crazy by now!)

If you're having a hard time figuring out where the relationship is headed, it would be best to just be upfront and ask her. I can't speak for her because I don't know her, but I can tell you that she, like most people, probably knows what she wants and what she is looking for in a relationship. There are Mormons who have no problem getting involved in serious relationships with people outside of their faith, and there are those that won't even go on a single date with someone who isn't Mormon. It's all a matter of personal opinion. Never hurts to ask.

I hope this helps a bit. Again, it's hard to speak for someone else. Just because she is a Mormon, doesn't mean she fits one particular "mold". However, if you have any other questions let me know and I'll do my best!
__________________

__________________
Zoocoustic is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:47 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com