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Old 11-07-2007, 09:27 PM   #16
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Right -- they don't need to parents, just the financial support of 2 parents. lol.

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The first is a life altering event. The second is an inconvenience (granted it can be a big inconvenience).
The carrying part = 9 months (not to negate the importantance or hardship). The financial committment is for at least 18 years.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:29 PM   #17
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Originally posted by MadelynIris
Right -- they don't need to parents, just the financial support of 2 parents. lol.
Well from a legal standpoint you can regulate one but not the other.

The courts are a legal system not a moral guidance or marriage counselor.

You seem to be forgetting this.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:31 PM   #18
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Right -- you can demand financial support, but nothing else. Hurray for the courts!
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:33 PM   #19
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The courts are a legal system not a moral guidance or marriage counselor
Although the courts sure do a lot of mandating of marriage and family counseling. I'd say the courts are probably the the #1 referrer.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:37 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by MadelynIris
The carrying part = 9 months (not to negate the importantance or hardship). The financial committment is for at least 18 years.
The carrying and giving birth can kill you. Literally.

18 years of financial commitment is nothing compared to that.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:37 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by MadelynIris
Although the courts sure do a lot of mandating of marriage and family counseling. I'd say the courts are probably the the #1 referrer.
I don't understand...you would prefer that the court require him to marry this woman? It was a brief relationship, he's not in love with her (which especially given the circumstances, one can hardly blame him for), and he's made clear that he has NO interest in personal involvement with his daughter.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:41 PM   #22
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18 years of financial commitment is nothing compared to that
I'm offended that even though that a parent, even though might contribute 18 years of financial, emotional, and labor to raising a child, that somehow, it will never equal the hardship or risk of childbirth.

How very sad.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:44 PM   #23
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I don't understand...you would prefer that the court require him to marry this woman? It was a brief relationship, he's not in love with her (which especially given the circumstances, one can hardly blame him for), and he's made clear that he has NO interest in personal involvement with his daughter
Yolland, no. Not saying that. It was just a response to BVS saying the courts are a legal system, not a marriage counselor.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:48 PM   #24
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Originally posted by MadelynIris
Right -- you can demand financial support, but nothing else. Hurray for the courts!
Well honestly, how do you expect a court to demand love or emotional support?

Even in a household that has both parents living in the household, been married for 20 years and have the nice picket fence doesn't always have this...

So I'm really not sure what you are getting at.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:48 PM   #25
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Originally posted by MadelynIris


Although the courts sure do a lot of mandating of marriage and family counseling. I'd say the courts are probably the the #1 referrer.
How so?
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:50 PM   #26
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Originally posted by MadelynIris


I'm offended that even though that a parent, even though might contribute 18 years of financial, emotional, and labor to raising a child, that somehow, it will never equal the hardship or risk of childbirth.

How very sad.
I seriously doubt this guy, if he does not want the child, will do anything more than he is required, which is strictly financial. And in the vast majority of cases, a mother doesn't just pop the baby out and leave, but spends those 18 years rearing that child as well -- in most cases does much more of the "hands on" care than even an involved father.

In this particular case the woman is scum. But the guy was damned stupid too. He gambled and lost.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:56 PM   #27
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How so?
Judges will usually mandate counseling, a variety of counseling, as one of the many tools to reach some kind of agreement. This is fairly common in our society.
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:59 PM   #28
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but spends those 18 years rearing that child as well -- in most cases does much more of the "hands on" care than even an involved father
Indra, you keep digging deeper. As an involved father, and representing involved fathers everywhere, I can honestly say, our contibution to our children's lives is equally important as their mother's.

Thank you very much.
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Old 11-07-2007, 10:03 PM   #29
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Originally posted by MadelynIris


Judges will usually mandate counseling, a variety of counseling, as one of the many tools to reach some kind of agreement. This is fairly common in our society.
Are the courts doing the counseling?

I just don't understand your complaint with the courts, how much do you want them to intervene in your relationships?
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Old 11-07-2007, 10:10 PM   #30
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I have no complaint with the courts. No, the courts mandate the counseling, judges don't do it themselves.

I was just responding to your statement:

Quote:
The courts are a legal system not a moral guidance or marriage counselor
When in fact, they mandate a lot of 'moral and marriage' counseling.
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