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Old 07-12-2006, 07:09 PM   #151
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Originally posted by VintagePunk

In light of what you saw last night, are you still inclined to call the first instance rape?

I know that many will not agree with me, but your description of last night reinforces my instincts regarding the first incident(keeping in mind that I've not seen either, just read the descriptions) - that it's part of a dysfunctional pattern of a warring couple who both use sex as a means of control and manipulation. Interpersonally healthy? Probably not, but in my view, not rape, either.

Regarding condom use/safe sex, not many programs depict that, unless it's explicitly a plot point of the show.

I have a problem wrapping my head around this definition, especially the emotional coercion part. It's too broad, in my view. So many women do have sex for the wrong reasons, and this is especially predominant in younger women, who might not be as assertive as women who are more experienced. Defining a scenario where one goes along with sex out of fear of loss of affection as rape is harsh. Poor judgement on the part of the woman, certainly, but not rape. I also think it victimizes women by propagating the mindset that women are weak, fickle, and easily manipulated. IMO, it would be much more empowering for females to own up to making a bad sexual decision, learn from it, move on and never repeat it. It's taking responsibility for your own actions, rather than playing the victim card.
But why is the responsibility all on the females? Shouldn't we also be teaching males that sex isn't something you coerce out of people?

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Old 07-13-2006, 02:20 PM   #152
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Originally posted by Bono's shades

But why is the responsibility all on the females? Shouldn't we also be teaching males that sex isn't something you coerce out of people?
Ideally, yes. No one should use coercion or emotional manipulation to attain anything from anyone. However, this is far from a perfect world, and both sexes are guilty of doing so at times. If a female sees love, trust and commitment as prerequisites for sex, and only wants to engage in the act for positive reasons (affection, mutual desire, etc.) then the onus is on her to use common sense to see that this criteria is met before engaging in the act. This wouldn't always be foolproof, obviously, even the wisest among us can be manipulated at times, but you're more likely to not be coerced or manipulated by using common sense and caution than if you act in a gullible way.

Similarly, if you had a considerable amount of money (something of value to you), and you received an e-mail for a shady investment deal that made an emotional appeal, would you jump at it? No, you would do some research and make sure you were dealing with a reputable investment firm in order to protect yourself. Same principle - you have something of value that others would like to have, but you're going to be careful and use common sense before handing it over to someone.


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