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Old 04-11-2005, 12:55 PM   #1
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Conclave To Choose U2's Bono As Next Pope



Conclave To Choose U2's Bono As Next Pope

The Vatican said that the conclave of cardinals will officially announce on April 18th that the new Pope will be lead U2 singer Bono.

One hundred seventeen Roman Catholic Cardinals where eligible to take part in the vote. Over ninety percent of the cardinals voted for the U2 singer.

"Believe it or not, we love his music." Stated a Cardinal at St. Petersburg Square who wished to remain anonymous, "I know John Paul also loved his music. We use to play it through the Vatican Musak system."

"I think they are giving Bono the Papacy just to make him feel better about not winning the World Bank presidency." Stated a Vatican analyst, Johnston Sirumpium, "I don't get why so many people think this guy is so great. He's just a singer, a good one, grant you, but he just sings."

Father Thomas Reed, a Jesuit priest who is also the editor of "U2 And Catholics" magazine explains the effect Bono, as the new Pope, will have on Catholicism.

"We needed a new look and feel for the Church." Stated Father Thomas Reed, "I think Bono is the person to make the Vatican hip again. I think he will be able to get everyone, regardless of who they are or what religion they are, to convert. That is what we want ultimately."

In other news, the Pope was buried today along with a box containing all the U2 albums ever produced.

http://www.thedailyfarce.com/world.c...pe_04200500003
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Old 04-11-2005, 12:58 PM   #2
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If this were true I'd commit suicide.
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:00 PM   #3
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If this were true I'd commit suicide.
Because that's what the Bible would say?
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:02 PM   #4
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I'd become Catholic.
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:05 PM   #5
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"We needed a new look and feel for the Church." Stated Father Thomas Reed, "I think Bono is the person to make the Vatican hip again. I think he will be able to get everyone, regardless of who they are or what religion they are, to convert. That is what we want ultimately."

can't wait for the new IPOD



will put it on shelf with my "Pope on a Rope Soap"
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:06 PM   #6
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I'd become Catholic.
i'll become a bear in the woods
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:07 PM   #7
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Because that's what the Bible would say?
Ugh...
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:08 PM   #8
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can't wait for the new IPOD

The problem is that the I-Pod is already white...
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:14 PM   #9
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deep, you find the wackiest crap man.
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:28 PM   #10
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Ugh...
Oh, I thought you were telling us how you follow the Bible, I must be confused.
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Old 04-11-2005, 01:40 PM   #11
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the iPope
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Old 04-11-2005, 02:16 PM   #12
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In other news, the Pope was buried today along with a box containing all the U2 albums ever produced.
Not funny till that line. That line is killer funny.
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Old 04-11-2005, 02:20 PM   #13
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I'd become Catholic.




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Old 04-11-2005, 02:42 PM   #14
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That'll be the day....that'll be the day. I doubt it will ever happen...because Bono isn't an Ordained Priest...but whatever...sorry to ruin everyone mood!
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Old 04-11-2005, 02:48 PM   #15
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Why settle for Pope?

'Bono introduces the band and calls himself "the little lord Jesus," and leaves the stage first"
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