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Old 12-17-2006, 07:52 PM   #31
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6% OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:02 PM   #32
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so, it's true, you CAN find anything on Interference, eh?
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:09 PM   #33
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Answer the Bone-A-Phone
Assault on a Friendly Weapon
Backstroke Roulette
Baiting your Hook
Batting Practice
Bash The Candle
Beat Off
Beating the Bishop
Beating the Dummy
Beating the Snake
Beating the Stick
Beating your Meat
Being your Own Best Friend
Bleed the Weed
Blow Your Load
Bludgeon the Beefsteak
Boppin' your Bologna
Box the Jesuit
Buckin' it
Buffing the Banana
Buffing the Wood
Burping the Worm
Butter Your Corn
Calling Down For More Mayo
Calling All Cum
Carrying Weight
Cast Off
Changing your Oil
Charm the Cobra
Choaking Charlie 'till
He Throws Up
Choke the Serriff and Wait
for the Posse to Come
Choke Kojak
Civil War
Cleaning out your Rope
Clean the Pipes
Clean your Rifle
Clubbing Eddy
Couch Hockey for One
Cracking the Fat
Crank the Shank
Cranking
Cranking For Cum
Crown the King
Cuff the Carrot
Cuffing the Puppy
Cum The Scum
Custer's Last Stand
Date Miss Michigan
Date Mother Palm and Her
Five Daughters
Devil's Handshake
Diddle
Dishonorable Discharge
Disseminating
Doddle Whacking
Doodle Your Noodle
Do The Dew
Drain the Dragon
Drain the Monster
Drain the Vein
Dropping A Line
Dropping Stomach Pancakes
Firm Your Worm
Fist Fuck
Fist your Mister
Five Against One
Five Finger Knuckle Shuffle
Five Knuckle Olympics
Flogging Your Dong
Flogging Your Log
Flute Solo
Flying a Kite
Fondle the Fig
Freeing the Willies
Frigging the Love Muscle
Gallop the Antelope
Gallop the Maggot
Getting In Touch With Your Manhood
Getting In Touch With Yourself
Getting to Know Yourself
Personally in the
"Biblical Sense"
Getting Your Caps Peeled
Giving it a Tug
Giving the John Hancock
Grease the Pipe
Greasing your Bone
Hack the Hog
Ham Shank
Hand Job
Hands on Training
Hand to Gland Combat
Hand Work
Having a Roy
Have it Off
Have One Off the Wrist
Hitchhike Under the Big Top
Hitching to Heaven
Hit the Ham
Holding All The Cards
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Hone your Bone
Hump your Fist
Hump your Hose
Humpin' Air
Ironing Some Wrinkles
Jack Hammer
Jack Off
Jackin'
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Jag Off
J Arthur Rank
Jazz Yourself
Jelly Roll
Jenny Macarthy Jaunt
Jerk Off
Jerk the Gherkin
Jerk the Johnson
Jiggle the Jewelry
Jimmying your Joey
Killing the Beast
Knock the Top Off
Launching the Hand Shuttle
Leakin' the Main Drain
Loping your Mule
Making the Bald Guy Puke
Making Nut Butter
Making Yogurt
Mangle the Midget
Manipulate the Mango
Manual Override
Masonic Secret Self Handshake
Massage your Muscle
Massage your Purple-Headed
Warrior
Measuring For Condoms
Milking the Bull
Milking the Lizard
Milking the Monkey
Milkywaying
Moulding Hot Plastic
Nerk your Throbber
Oil the Glove
Oiling The Pogo Stick
One Handed Clapping
One Man Show
One Man Tug-O-War
Pack your Palm
Paddle the Pickle
Paint the Pickle
Pain the Walls
Pat the Robertson
Peel Some Chilis
Peel the Banana
Peel the Carrot
Petting Your Dog
Playing With Dick
Playing With Susi Palmer and her five friends
Playing With Your Noodle
Play Pocket Pool
Play the Organ
Play the Pisser
Play the Piss Pipe
Play the Skin Flute
Play the Stand-Up Organ
Playing With the Snake
Playing Your Instrument
Play With Yourself
Plunk your Twanger
Pocket Pinball
Pocket Pool
Polish the Chrome Dome
Polish the Rocket
Polish the Sword
Polish your Bayonet
Polish your Helmet
Polish your Piece
Popping the Porpoise
Popping The Purple Pimple
Pound Off
Pound Your Flounder
Pound Your Piss Pump
Pounding your Pud
Pudwhacking
Pud Wrestling
Puddin'
Pull the Root
Pulling The Wire
Pulling Your Goalie
Pull Off
Pulling The Piss Pump
Pull the Pole
Pull the Pope
Pull Your Pud
Pull your Taffy
Pumping For Pleasure
Pumping For Power
Pump the Python
Punchin' The Clown
Punchin' The Munchkin
Punishing Percy
Punishing the Bishop
Ram the Ham
Ride the Great White Knuckler
Rolling The Fleshy Blunt
Roman Helmet Rhumba
Ropin' the Long Horn
Rope the Pony
Roughing up the Suspect
Rounding Up the Tadpoles
Routin' for the Yankees
Rub One Out
Rub the Unicorn's Horn
Runka
Scraping Your Carrot
Scratching the Itch
Seasonin' Your Meat
See Mrs. Palmer & Five Daughters
Self Love
Sending out the Troops
Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln
Shaking Hands With the Governor
Shaking Hands With Shorty
Shaking Hands With the
Unemployed
Shake the Snake
Shifting Gears
Shine Your Pole
Shining The Helmet
Shooting Enemies
Shooting Putty at the Moon
Shooting Sherman
Shucking Bubba
Slam the Hammer
Slammin' the Salami
Slappin' Pappy
Slapping the Clown
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Slap My Happy Sacks
Slap the Salami
Slapping the Cyclops
Slapping your Chub
Slinging Jelly
Sloppy Joe's Last Stand
Sloppy Sign Language
Stroke the Stallion
Smacking your Sister
Snap the Monkey
Snap the Whip
Snapping Your Carrot
Spank the Frank
Spank your Monkey
Spear Chucking
Spreading the Mayo
Spunk the Monk
Squeeze the Cream From the
Flesh Twinkie
Squeeze the Lemon
Squeezing the Tube of Tooth Paste
Squeezing the Burrito
Staff Meeting
Stall Clapping
Stir the Soup
Stroke Off
Stroking It
Stroking your Goat
Stroke your Poker
Taking a Shake Break
Tame the Wild Hog
Tap the Turkey
Tease the Python
Tease the Weasle
Tenderize the Meat
The Erky Jerk
The Sticky Page Rhumba
Threading a Needle
Throw off a Batch
Throwin' Down
Thump the Pump
Tickle the Elmo
Tickle the Pickle
Toss Off
Toss the Boss
Toss the Turkey
Tugging your Tapioka Tube
Tugging your Toobsteak/Toobsnake
Tug of War with Cyclops
Tuning the Antenna
Turning Japanese
Tussle with Your Muscle
Unwapping the Pepperoni
Varnishing the Cane
Wailing
Walk the Dog
Walking Willie the One
Eyed Wonder Worm
Wank
Waxing the Dolphin
Wax your Jackson
Wax your Weasel
Wax your Willy
Whack Off
Whack Your Tack
Whip the Dummy
Whip your Dripper
Whipping the One-Eyed
Wonder Weasle
Whipping the Pony
Whipping the Window Washer
White Water Wristing
Whizzin' Jizzim
Wiggling your Worm
Winding the Jack In The Box
Wonk your Conker
Working a Cramp out of your Muscle
Working your Willy
Wrestling the Eel
Wring Out your Rope
Wring Your Thing
Yahtzee
Yank My Doodle
Yank Off
Yank the Yodle
Yank your Crank
A Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff the Weasle
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Creamin'
Coming Into Your Own
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing the Rotary Phone
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Date with Slick Mittens
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let the Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spelunking
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Three Point Shot
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:16 PM   #34
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the good thing is if you dont want to wear a condom you can just say its against your religion
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Old 12-17-2006, 10:26 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by Canadiens1160
Answer the Bone-A-Phone
Assault on a Friendly Weapon
Backstroke Roulette
Baiting your Hook
Batting Practice
Bash The Candle
Beat Off
Beating the Bishop
Beating the Dummy
Beating the Snake
Beating the Stick
Beating your Meat
Being your Own Best Friend
Bleed the Weed
Blow Your Load
Bludgeon the Beefsteak
Boppin' your Bologna
Box the Jesuit
Buckin' it
Buffing the Banana
Buffing the Wood
Burping the Worm
Butter Your Corn
Calling Down For More Mayo
Calling All Cum
Carrying Weight
Cast Off
Changing your Oil
Charm the Cobra
Choaking Charlie 'till
He Throws Up
Choke the Serriff and Wait
for the Posse to Come
Choke Kojak
Civil War
Cleaning out your Rope
Clean the Pipes
Clean your Rifle
Clubbing Eddy
Couch Hockey for One
Cracking the Fat
Crank the Shank
Cranking
Cranking For Cum
Crown the King
Cuff the Carrot
Cuffing the Puppy
Cum The Scum
Custer's Last Stand
Date Miss Michigan
Date Mother Palm and Her
Five Daughters
Devil's Handshake
Diddle
Dishonorable Discharge
Disseminating
Doddle Whacking
Doodle Your Noodle
Do The Dew
Drain the Dragon
Drain the Monster
Drain the Vein
Dropping A Line
Dropping Stomach Pancakes
Firm Your Worm
Fist Fuck
Fist your Mister
Five Against One
Five Finger Knuckle Shuffle
Five Knuckle Olympics
Flogging Your Dong
Flogging Your Log
Flute Solo
Flying a Kite
Fondle the Fig
Freeing the Willies
Frigging the Love Muscle
Gallop the Antelope
Gallop the Maggot
Getting In Touch With Your Manhood
Getting In Touch With Yourself
Getting to Know Yourself
Personally in the
"Biblical Sense"
Getting Your Caps Peeled
Giving it a Tug
Giving the John Hancock
Grease the Pipe
Greasing your Bone
Hack the Hog
Ham Shank
Hand Job
Hands on Training
Hand to Gland Combat
Hand Work
Having a Roy
Have it Off
Have One Off the Wrist
Hitchhike Under the Big Top
Hitching to Heaven
Hit the Ham
Holding All The Cards
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Hone your Bone
Hump your Fist
Hump your Hose
Humpin' Air
Ironing Some Wrinkles
Jack Hammer
Jack Off
Jackin'
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Jag Off
J Arthur Rank
Jazz Yourself
Jelly Roll
Jenny Macarthy Jaunt
Jerk Off
Jerk the Gherkin
Jerk the Johnson
Jiggle the Jewelry
Jimmying your Joey
Killing the Beast
Knock the Top Off
Launching the Hand Shuttle
Leakin' the Main Drain
Loping your Mule
Making the Bald Guy Puke
Making Nut Butter
Making Yogurt
Mangle the Midget
Manipulate the Mango
Manual Override
Masonic Secret Self Handshake
Massage your Muscle
Massage your Purple-Headed
Warrior
Measuring For Condoms
Milking the Bull
Milking the Lizard
Milking the Monkey
Milkywaying
Moulding Hot Plastic
Nerk your Throbber
Oil the Glove
Oiling The Pogo Stick
One Handed Clapping
One Man Show
One Man Tug-O-War
Pack your Palm
Paddle the Pickle
Paint the Pickle
Pain the Walls
Pat the Robertson
Peel Some Chilis
Peel the Banana
Peel the Carrot
Petting Your Dog
Playing With Dick
Playing With Susi Palmer and her five friends
Playing With Your Noodle
Play Pocket Pool
Play the Organ
Play the Pisser
Play the Piss Pipe
Play the Skin Flute
Play the Stand-Up Organ
Playing With the Snake
Playing Your Instrument
Play With Yourself
Plunk your Twanger
Pocket Pinball
Pocket Pool
Polish the Chrome Dome
Polish the Rocket
Polish the Sword
Polish your Bayonet
Polish your Helmet
Polish your Piece
Popping the Porpoise
Popping The Purple Pimple
Pound Off
Pound Your Flounder
Pound Your Piss Pump
Pounding your Pud
Pudwhacking
Pud Wrestling
Puddin'
Pull the Root
Pulling The Wire
Pulling Your Goalie
Pull Off
Pulling The Piss Pump
Pull the Pole
Pull the Pope
Pull Your Pud
Pull your Taffy
Pumping For Pleasure
Pumping For Power
Pump the Python
Punchin' The Clown
Punchin' The Munchkin
Punishing Percy
Punishing the Bishop
Ram the Ham
Ride the Great White Knuckler
Rolling The Fleshy Blunt
Roman Helmet Rhumba
Ropin' the Long Horn
Rope the Pony
Roughing up the Suspect
Rounding Up the Tadpoles
Routin' for the Yankees
Rub One Out
Rub the Unicorn's Horn
Runka
Scraping Your Carrot
Scratching the Itch
Seasonin' Your Meat
See Mrs. Palmer & Five Daughters
Self Love
Sending out the Troops
Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln
Shaking Hands With the Governor
Shaking Hands With Shorty
Shaking Hands With the
Unemployed
Shake the Snake
Shifting Gears
Shine Your Pole
Shining The Helmet
Shooting Enemies
Shooting Putty at the Moon
Shooting Sherman
Shucking Bubba
Slam the Hammer
Slammin' the Salami
Slappin' Pappy
Slapping the Clown
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Slap My Happy Sacks
Slap the Salami
Slapping the Cyclops
Slapping your Chub
Slinging Jelly
Sloppy Joe's Last Stand
Sloppy Sign Language
Stroke the Stallion
Smacking your Sister
Snap the Monkey
Snap the Whip
Snapping Your Carrot
Spank the Frank
Spank your Monkey
Spear Chucking
Spreading the Mayo
Spunk the Monk
Squeeze the Cream From the
Flesh Twinkie
Squeeze the Lemon
Squeezing the Tube of Tooth Paste
Squeezing the Burrito
Staff Meeting
Stall Clapping
Stir the Soup
Stroke Off
Stroking It
Stroking your Goat
Stroke your Poker
Taking a Shake Break
Tame the Wild Hog
Tap the Turkey
Tease the Python
Tease the Weasle
Tenderize the Meat
The Erky Jerk
The Sticky Page Rhumba
Threading a Needle
Throw off a Batch
Throwin' Down
Thump the Pump
Tickle the Elmo
Tickle the Pickle
Toss Off
Toss the Boss
Toss the Turkey
Tugging your Tapioka Tube
Tugging your Toobsteak/Toobsnake
Tug of War with Cyclops
Tuning the Antenna
Turning Japanese
Tussle with Your Muscle
Unwapping the Pepperoni
Varnishing the Cane
Wailing
Walk the Dog
Walking Willie the One
Eyed Wonder Worm
Wank
Waxing the Dolphin
Wax your Jackson
Wax your Weasel
Wax your Willy
Whack Off
Whack Your Tack
Whip the Dummy
Whip your Dripper
Whipping the One-Eyed
Wonder Weasle
Whipping the Pony
Whipping the Window Washer
White Water Wristing
Whizzin' Jizzim
Wiggling your Worm
Winding the Jack In The Box
Wonk your Conker
Working a Cramp out of your Muscle
Working your Willy
Wrestling the Eel
Wring Out your Rope
Wring Your Thing
Yahtzee
Yank My Doodle
Yank Off
Yank the Yodle
Yank your Crank
A Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff the Weasle
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Creamin'
Coming Into Your Own
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing the Rotary Phone
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Date with Slick Mittens
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let the Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spelunking
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Three Point Shot
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers


I didn't read the whole list but I was always partial to: Playing the five finger solo

It makes me sound musically inclined which I am not
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:43 PM   #36
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I am partial to Rubbin' the Nubbin and Clam Bake for One
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:54 PM   #37
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and to think about how many STDs might not have been passed, nor pregnancies unwanted, if some people had had the good sense to simply masturbate ... or even masturbate with their partner.

as Bill Clinton taught us, sex need not require penetration.

let's hear it for masturbation!
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:07 AM   #38
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Location: small town Pennsylvania, USA
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar


Where does this stat come from?
I made a mistake in typing this post. I meant to say 90% of practicing Catholics DO use birth control.
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:11 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by tiny dancer


I made a mistake in typing this post. I meant to say 90% of practicing Catholics DO use birth control.
OK that makes a little more sense.
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Old 12-18-2006, 01:06 AM   #40
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Makin the bald guy puke??? omg if I were a guy and was told that as a child I'd be too afraid to ever masturbate.
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Old 12-18-2006, 07:00 AM   #41
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Well, reading Deep's post, I was feeling much better about myself until I reached this bit:

"If you masturbate while indulging in impure thoughts (fantasizing about your neighbor’s wife, for example), this is also a misuse of God’s gift."

Not my neighbour's wife!, but I can't deny that I do think qabout women when I masturbate. If you are in a hurry e.g. about to go out you don't want to waste much time in reaching elation.

Dunno if this changes anything, but in my fantasies I treat the woman very well, tell them they don't have to do anything they don't want to etc, tell them it is just as important that they feel good afterwards etc etc... anyway I've said too much. In the end though the woman involved loves my respectfullness and ends up filling my utmost desires.

By the way I am only fifteen so at least I'm being pretty considerate for my age I suppose!
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:41 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chizip
[B

"The Roman Catholic Church is against unnatural means of birth control such as condoms and the birth control pill. Artificial birth control takes Jesus Christ out of the factor. [/B]

As most choirboys will be able to testify!
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Old 12-18-2006, 11:55 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Varitek
The orgasm: a religious experience.
Well, I do say, "Oh, God!" when I come.
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Old 12-18-2006, 01:17 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by Golightly Grrl
Well, I do say, "Oh, God!" when I come.
Just as long as you do not say the wrong name all will be good. God is the only other name I like to hear.
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Old 12-18-2006, 01:24 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox


Just as long as you do not say the wrong name all will be good. God is the only other name I like to hear.
I am sure there is a post-feminist psychobabble response to this.
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