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Old 10-18-2002, 07:27 PM   #1
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Bush-Cheney Dictionary

The Cheney-Bush Administration Lexicon:

African-American (Black): a Negro.

Air Force: diplomatic instrument for imposing peace.

Ally: any country that does what we say and Israel.

Ariel Sharon: a) a man of peace; b) an advertisement for Jenny Craig.

Axis of evil: the American Civil Liberties Union, the National Organization of Women and the People for the American Way

Campaign finance: the system by which politicians are purchased.

Campaign finance reform: an attempt to undermine the American democratic system.

Congress: Constitutionally mandated body that supports whatever the President does.

Constitution: an increasingly obsolete document that undermines national security.

Cuba: the world's most oppressive state and a serious threat to America.

Cubans: an ethnic minority living in south Florida.

Election: tedious window-dressing necessary to wield political power in America.

Ethics: a topic discussed by intellectuals and professors.

Ethnic minority: Cubans.

European Union: anti-American organization of European states.

Evidence: any statement or claim made by a member of the administration.

Free election: any election that selects officials friendly to America.

First Amendment: a Constitutional loophole that encourages treason.

Free speech: the fundamental right to agree with the government.

Gay: a) a state of being happy; b) an abomination before God; c) anti-American.

Hispanic: a) a Mexican; b) people taking over Texas.

Intellectual: a traitor.

Islam: the religion of ragheads.

Israel: a) an annoying ally; b) a Middle Eastern country with fewer ragheads; c) a possible model for America's dealings with the world.

Jerry Falwell: a) the chaplain of the Republican Party; b) a liberal balance to John Ashcroft.

Liberal: a traitor.

Nation building: what Europeans do in a country after America bombs it.

National debate: any discussion of foreign policy carried on in the White House or the Pentagon.

NATO: a mechanism facilitating American interference in European affairs.

OAS: a mechanism facilitating American interference in Latin American affairs.

Palestine: a) territory that belongs to Israel; b) a Middle Eastern country with the worst possible ragheads.

Patriot Act: legislation designed to insure that America speaks with a single voice, that of the President.

Privatization: a mechanism facilitating the transfer of public monies to the business community.

Professor: an educated traitor.

Progress towards democracy: an attribute of any dictator friendly to America.

Protestant Christianity: the true faith and the religion of civilized people.

Rogue state: any country that does not do what we say.

Saddam Hussein: a) a former ally; b) the anti-Christ.

Saudi Arabia: a Middle Eastern country with oil and good ragheads.

Second Amendment: a) the Constitutional guarantee of a citizen's right to own personal nuclear weapons; b) a secular humanist assault on Christian America.

Strategic Defense Initiative (Star Wars): a) a legacy of St. Reagan; b) a mechanism insuring that Boeing and Lockheed receive their fair share.

Third world: everywhere outside the United States.

UNESCO: an abortion mill.

United Nations: a) a mechanism hindering American efforts for peace around the world; b) a mechanism facilitating American efforts for peace around the world.

University: a place where traitors and potential terrorists hang out.

Weapons of mass destruction: any weaponry thought to be possessed by Saddam Hussein or any other designated enemy of America.

World Health Organization: an abortion mill.

Yasser Arafat: the anti-Christ were it not for Saddam Hussein.

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Old 10-18-2002, 07:36 PM   #2
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Old 10-19-2002, 01:45 AM   #3
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Old 10-19-2002, 10:37 AM   #4
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