joyfulgirl said:
After I left the South and moved to NYC, when I'd visit my hometown again people would always refer to me as, "Oh, you're so & so's youngest daughter, the Yankee" and then with a big friendly smile on their face say, "Is that how they dress up there now?" It was always such a blatant "fuck you and your Northern uppity self and your city clothes" but when I'd point it out later to my family, they absolutely denied it and always said "oh, they're just bein' frien'ly." Frien'ly my ass. And I really don't want to stereotype but I had this experience so many times over the years it's unbelievable. But this small rural town isn't necessarily representative of all of the South, or even of Virginia, but it's definitely a prevalent attitude throughout the South, in my experience. And I hate it.
My next oldest brother, who's lived in Philadelphia for years now, feels the same way about going back to MS to visit anyone--he says he always gets that kind of attitude from people and won't put up with it anymore. Now he's somewhat of a prickly and easily offended sort, so I have to admit I sometimes suspect he's overdrawing things a bit, but it absolutely does happen and I've heard lots of "ex"-Southerners complain about this. I think he maybe gets it worse than the rest of us because he'd moved away to go to college before our whole family moved, so he doesn't get the "pass" my mother, my younger siblings and I tend to on account of people feeling sorry for us because my father died and that's why we had to move, etc. ...or my oldest brother, who also moved away for college, but now he lives in North Carolina, so he's "okay".
I got a little of that from some people the first time I went back to visit friends (this was when we lived in NYC)--comments that hinted maybe I was 'putting on airs' and so forth, basically just teasing stuff, but occasionally with a bite. Apparently the Midwest doesn't have quite the same automatic-presumed-pretentiousness factor though, because I haven't gotten that kind of reaction much on trips back since moving out here. But it's not like my family had been in MS for generations, and realistically in some ways we were already sort of 'marginal' anyhow, so maybe that makes for less nasty grudges. Not sure.
I guess in some ways this goes hand-in-hand with the wariness towards "outsiders" I mentioned to Irvine earlier--if you "voluntarily" join them, well that's just outright betrayal, and my aren't you all full of yourself now, blah blah blah. But, even out here in small towns you get some of that--judgmental attitudes towards anyone associated with certain areas of the country (with NYC and California usually topping the list). When a colleague of mine and her husband moved out here and settled in a nearby small town, one of their earliest experiences was driving around the area trying to get their bearings (in their beat-up compact car with 'artsy' bumper stickers and CA license plate), and some stupid rednecks--we've got them here too, just not the kind with Southern accents and Rebel Flags--pulled up next to them in their pickup, yelled "Heeeeey Califoooorn-yuh!!!" and threw an open bucket of paint at their car. I've also had a couple friends originally from NYC who moved out here report that some of their friends and family ream on them for moving away from 'Civilization' into the pathetic wasteland that apparently is non-coastal America. And maybe you've never encountered this sort of thing, but especially in academia, if you've got a pronounced Southern accent, and particularly if you're a white man, you'll get the most ridiculous trigger reactions from people sometimes (or more likely, hear about them from others, as they won't say it to your face--'Yankee chivalry' as a friend of mine wryly put it).
Not trying to say "Oh it's all just the same thing
!", I know it isn't, the 'uppity, pretentious' thing is a distinctly Southern pejorative and I've certainly seen it in action. I'm maybe just a little more cynical (or should I say bitter, lol) than you are about just how much of an 'escape' anywhere else has to offer. Even though I could never go back, either. But yes it's painful when people you grew up with and are glad to see, seem to need to spit in your face first before deigning to visit with you. Kind of an inferiority complex and a superiority complex all wrapped up in one, as they tend to do.
the liquor stores here are closed on Sunday, 20 miles from downtown Atlanta. Anyway, Bisquits and gravy and grits are fucking amazing! 
It was $3.66 yesterday and it's not even the holiday weekend yet!
gas station too.
