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Old 03-10-2005, 07:35 AM   #1
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Ask The Old Married Guy

15 years today

I always wanted a thread of my own
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:36 AM   #2
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!



any special plans for your special lady?
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:42 AM   #3
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Congratulations

How did you meet your wife, and what do you love most about her? What things bug you sometimes about her?
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:46 AM   #4
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[Bany special plans for your special lady? [/B]
Wow - tonight will be great. A friend of ours is out of town (single mom), so we will have her two kids over.

I have a Youth & Family committee meeting at church (I'm the moderator, so I can't skip).


We talked about this and realize that we celebrate every day. Our big gift to each other will be the U2 concert April 5 at the LA Staples Center
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:01 AM   #5
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Congratulations NBC. That is great.

Last year we went to a fancy restaurant - with our kids and loved it. You always have quiet time later in the evening.

You advice for keeping it together?
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:03 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
How did you meet your wife, and what do you love most about her? What things bug you sometimes about her?
I met my wife in college. During 2nd semester of our sophomore year, we both took a business finance class (I know, real romantic). I sat in the row ahead of her and almost never turned around. Toward the end of the year, we were both on a group project with some mutual friends. I remember teasing her about the way she dressed (this was 1984, so clothing styles had a certain punk-new wave flair). That summer, she took classes in Paris (French language and literature) while I took summer school classes at UC Irvine. By the end of summer, I realized I had missed her. It all grew from there.

What I love about my wife? Honestly, of all the things I could list, it comes down to her steadfast faith. Our mutual faith has held us together and guided us through the dark times.

What bugs me about her? At this point, I’m not sure if anything in her personality bugs me. If there is one thing were we are opposites, its her cats. She loves them, I don’t. We’ve had them 14 years and I keep asking her how long they last. I know this will cost me points with the cat lovers of the forum.
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:03 AM   #7
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congratulations! Here's to many more happy years
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:09 AM   #8
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Originally posted by Scarletwine
You advice for keeping it together?
In a word: communication. As I look back over the years, I realized that all the bumps and bruises were caused by a lack of true, open communication on a subject. Especially the important subjects like work, money, kids, sex, housework, etc. It is the long conversations, sometimes on a very narrow subject, that have drawn us closer together.

Coupled with communication is a willingness to hear, understand and change based on what is said.
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:12 AM   #9
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Now I remember reading how you met before

what else to ask - Do you see marriage as being more "work" or more idealized, romantic ie if it becomes too much work, something's "wrong" ?

When you think about the future, how do you hope your marriage will grow and change?
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:33 AM   #10
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Congratulations!!

What kind of music does she like?
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:45 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
what else to ask - Do you see marriage as being more "work" or more idealized, romantic ie if it becomes too much work, something's "wrong" ?
Honestly, I wish marriage was portrayed as requiring more effort than as this magic ideal. To me, true love makes changes “work” into “desire”. There have been times when I think “why should I bother” – but realize that the alternative (walking out or otherwise disengaging from the relationship) won’t do any better.

It becomes “too much work” when only one party is working at the relationship. Both parties must work at the relationship, and must work together at the relationship. And this is where the communication is critical.


Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
When you think about the future, how do you hope your marriage will grow and change?
As for the future, I can only hope our relationship will inspire our children when they start developing deeper personal relationships. We will occasionally see older married couples (over 70) walking together holding hands. We hope we continue on a path that has us holding hands (and more ) for decades to come.
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:51 AM   #12
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Originally posted by joyfulgirl
What kind of music does she like?
Right now, I've got her listening to HTDAAB - so she will be ready for the concert.

Her music collection consists mostly of contemporary christian, 80's classics, and stuff I call "white guys from the 70's". She also took years of piano, so she has an appreciation for classical music, but never listens to it on cd.

We both like the 80's music as it reminds us of our college days.

My musical tastes are much broader: hard rock, rap, disco, funk, new wave, rockabilly, metal, pop, classical, etc., but I really don't get into the contemporary christian stuff.
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:52 AM   #13
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long term couples are very inspirational, so i applaud and congratulate you!

what do you think are the biggest challenges for long-term couples to overcome? i'm not talking about the ways to overcome them -- you've mentioned communication -- i'm wondering about real issues that have come up that you've had to deal with.

and enjoy your first U2 show!
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Old 03-10-2005, 09:12 AM   #14
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what do you think are the biggest challenges for long-term couples to overcome? i'm not talking about the ways to overcome them -- you've mentioned communication -- i'm wondering about real issues that have come up that you've had to deal with.
The biggest challenges are the preconceived notions or expectations that are brought into the relationship. I think studies have verified this, but finances, sex and children would be the areas that present the biggest challenges.

Money is a challenge, as two people must live on one budget. In society today, it is far too easy to go shopping as a release or form of relaxation. Now, if someone in a relationship uses shopping as a release from financial challenges in a relationship, you’ve got a self-perpetuating problem.

I remember a movie years and years ago when a young groom was excited about getting married because it would be like an “all you can eat buffet”. He was talking about sex. The bride didn’t use the same description.

Children are a never-ending source of challenge in a relationship. From the lack of sleep stage, to discipline, to instilling values, to helping with homework. The list goes on.
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Old 03-10-2005, 09:20 AM   #15
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What does your wife think of this blue crack business?
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